Love Looks Not with the Eyes Chapter 20 – Fools Rush In
A/N – The title for the chapter is sung by Peggy Sue.
It was a brisk windless November morning as the sun started to rise over the mountains in the east as Kevin's head swayed with the movement of the vehicle as it made its way over the rough unpaved country road. Plank was excitedly conversing with Kevin about the letters he had received last night from home, the two of them discussing their mutual friends and the events that were going on in their lives. "Ms. Ritta was going to send us some cookies but wasn't sure if they would make it in one piece."
"Yeah, they probably wouldn't have," Kevin agreed as he turned his attention from the window to his friend, "So what's the occasion?"
"It was Alice's birthday yesterday," Plank said it as though it was the obvious answer.
"Oh shit, I totally forgot to tell her happy birthday in my last letter," Kevin said in a self-admonishing tone.
"It's alright man," Plank slaps his arm with the back of his hand, "I sent her a homemade birthday card and added your name."
"Thanks man," Kevin could feel his anxiety spike suddenly.
"Speaking of food though," Plank took his eyes off the road and glanced in his direction, "What's the first thing you're going to eat when you get back?"
"A big juicy hamburger," Kevin replied from shotgun, his heart was starting to pound in his chest as a cold sweat covered his forehead.
"My wife's taco," Taylor added from the gunnery hatch behind them.
"Man, we don't need to know what's in your spank bank," Kevin replied softly, his fears getting the better of him as his mind raced with the upcoming tragedy.
"What, I like her taco's," Taylor clarifies and the next few seconds slow to a near halt as Kevin watches in horror as the driver side window shatters and two rounds strike Plank in the chest.
Everything else was a blurry as the vehicle swerves to the left and comes to a stop, the frantic pounding in Kevin's chest as he pulls Plank from the Humvee and to the safety of cover behind it. His frantic calls for the Medic and the hand that suddenly grabs him causing him to look Plank dead in the eyes as he speaks, "Until death do us part."
Kevin jumps as the bullets that caused his injuries during the war strike his body, bringing him back to reality and out of his troubled dreams. His heart was still pounding in his chest, his breath was quick and ragged, his body was covered in sweat as he held tightly to the person in his arms. The light of the street lamps pouring into the room from the large front windows were illuminating Edd's features as his head rested on the bicep of Kevin's right arm inches away from his face. Edd's own arm that was wrapped around Kevin's waist tightens, trying to pull him back in close as he leaned back to get a better look at the man. He mumbles out as he rubs his face against the skin of Kevin's arm, "Go back to sleep," apparently still fast asleep himself and fully unaware of who it was that he was cuddling with.
As Kevin calmed down he knew that there most certainly is a god and right now he knew that she loved him, for this had to be heaven cuddling up with Edd. He was so close he could smell the fresh scent of his body, feel his soft and steady breath against his neck and the heat that radiated from his bare chest as it moved in time with his breathing. "God damnit, I'm a creep," he admonished himself, "Being so happy about this when Edd wouldn't approve if he was awake." Unwrapping his left arm from around Edd's slim body, he gingerly moves the arm from around his own waist and slowly slides his right arm out from under Edd's head. He rolls over to face away from Kevin, pulling the pillow under his head as he let out a soft hum of announce for being forcibly removed from such a warm and comfortable position. "I'll be back," Kevin whispers his reassurance, but for what reason he had spoken them, he was unsure since Edd was asleep.
Quietly walking to the kitchen, he turns on the facet and rinses the sweat from his face, then fills a glass with water and drinks it down quickly. Looking at the clock on his microwave he sees that it is now three in the morning and feels wide awake, not desiring to just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling he goes into the living room and turns on the TV. Keeping the volume low as to not disturb Edd as he slept, he continued his binge of DS9 curled up on the couch under one of the blankets he had brought Edd earlier that night. He had only gotten through one complete episode and was halfway through the next when he hears Edd's feet shuffling down the hall towards him, "Are you alright?" His voice was groggy as he comes to sit down on the couch next to him, pulling the other end of the blanket up over his legs as he curls up on the couch as well.
"I'm alright, just couldn't sleep," he replied plainly, for it would have been lame to have to admit that he had a bad dream, "I didn't wake you did I?"
"No, I just got a little cold and woke up," he turns his attention away from Kevin and looks at the TV, "Which episode is this?"
Kevin had to pause the episode in order for Netflix to display the information, "Tears of the Prophet's."
"You've seen it right?"
"Yeah, it's my third time watching this series," Kevin explained as he started the episode back up, revealing just how deep his dorky side ran.
Edd snickers softly as he spoke, "I'll be sure to bring you down a pocket protector the next time I'm here," his bodies desire to go back to sleep was evident in the strength of his voice. Recognizing the scene that had just started, Edd realized what episode this was but asks for confirmation, "Isn't this the one where Jadzia dies."
"Yep," Kevin confirmed, "Believe me, I cried the first time I watched it."
"Poor Worf," Edd pulls the blanket up to his nose as the drama unfolds.
"I know right, and they just announced their plans to have a baby too," Kevin motions with his hand at the TV for emphasis, "The writers of this series really tried to hit you where it hurts toward the end."
Edd pokes his mouth back out from under the covers, "Plenty of red shirts have died over the years, but main characters, now that's rare."
"Yeah, Spock was the most notable death in the franchise," Kevin added as Edd adjusts his position under the blanket to get more comfortable, causing their feet touch.
"Don't forget about Kirk or Data."
Kevin teased, bringing his hand up to his mouth to feign shock, "Oh, silly me," the joke and the atmosphere between them had increased Edd's sense of relief. For after the day Kevin had yesterday, Edd had been worried that he would still be feeling the effects of the depression he had suffered. Hence his concern when he had woken up alone in bed and had heard the TV in the other room, since insomnia can be one of the symptoms of depression.
Edd nudges his foot against Kevin's, "I'm glad you're feeling better."
Kevin casts his eyes down to the coffee table in front of him, feeling shame for the way he had acted towards Edd yesterday, "What would be the point of dwelling on it?"
"Well, it means you're human you know, and it's alright to feel hurt by them," he reassured him, "It's part of the healing process."
Kevin already knew this, and he still felt the sting of sadness when he thought about it which is why he didn't want to focus on it or talk about it at the moment. Instead he wanted to focus on the things that gave him strength and hope for the future, his friends who were more like family to him and the man sitting beside him. He pulls back the blanket and stands as he speaks, "Hey since we're both up, why don't we go get some breakfast." Edd hummed as he thought about his offer, accepting the fact that Kevin was changing the subject, "Unless you want to go back to sleep."
"Oh no, I'm alright," the grogginess in his voice wasn't at all convincing and Kevin cocks a brow at him, "Really, I'm awwwaaakkkkee," he yawned.
"Whatever doooorrkk," he sympathetically yawns himself and turns around to head for his bedroom to get dress, "Just hurry up and get ready."
"Whatever, now I feel like taking my time," Edd teased with a light laugh as he got up off the couch and started towards the bathroom, earning him a disbelieving chuckle from Kevin. And try as he might to fulfill his teasing promise, he was dressed and back out in the living room within a decent amount of time, only having made Kevin wait a few minutes on him. Earning him a knowing look from the red head as stepped back into the room, "Fine whatever," he groaned, "I'm OCD on my punctuality, let's just get going."
Kevin leads the way down to the car and drives them across the bridge into Indiana and the city of Autumn Heights which was right across the river from Summerville, and the beginning leg of their trip to take Edd home. Stopping at a Waffle House along the interstate to have their breakfast, filling their time as they waited with light conversation, doing their best to avoid any landmine topics such as politics and religion. But landmines are inevitable, even with simple curiosity, "I know that you and Nat dated for a couple of years."
"For nine years," Edd replied then sipped his coffee.
"So, who did you all get together?"
"Why the sudden curiosity," Edd cocks a brow at him as he was trying to figure out his motives behind the question.
Kevin suddenly felt a little anxious, was this a topic one he should steer clear of, "I'm just wanting to learn about the things that went on in your life since high school." But in fact, he was just curious about how Nat had won over the dorks heart in such a way that their relationship lasted so long.
Edd had to agree that it was logical that he would be curious, for there were things in Kevin's life he was dying to ask about but was too afraid of trudging up old painful memories. Like the friend that he shared with Alice and Rave that didn't survive the war, for if he was someone that meant that much to Kevin then he had to be someone worth knowing, even if he only got to know about him through Kevin's memories. "Well, as you already know, Nat was there for me through my divorce and supported me emotionally during the tough times I went through. A year after that, he was promoted and moved back down from Indy to take over the plant in Evansville which naturally increased the amount of time we spent together. Over the course of the next year we did normal things friends do, like going to the movies or having dinner together at one another's homes or just simply doing stupid stuff, like going to bars, carnivals or amusement parks. But looking back at it now I see that we were slowly building a bond over time that went beyond our friendship, and when he confessed his feelings for me under the stars of Yosemite there was no other answer for me but yes." Edd nostalgically smiled at the fond memories that filled his mind as he averted his eyes away from Kevin, casting them down to the table.
"So then why did you break up?" Kevin regretted asking that question the instant the words left his mouth.
"Um, I told him that I didn't want to get married again," Kevin could see the regret in Edd's eyes.
"Oh," was his simple response.
"Yeah, I didn't want to ruin what we had by placing a label on it and in doing so ruined what we had." Edd paused and picked at his hash browns then reluctantly continued, "The truth was, I didn't want to go through the loss again, you know, getting my hopes up that this might last, only to find out that it didn't, so I subconsciously caused it to end."
"He still cares about you," Kevin reaches across the table, absentmindedly reaching for Edd's hand to comfort him.
"I know he does," Edd retracts his hand out of reflex because they were in a public space, "I love him, and I know he still loves me. We just lost something that day that we could never get back, so do you mind if we drop the subject."
"Sure, sorry I didn't mean to," Kevin was feeling guilty for bringing up the bad memories.
"It's alright, I know you didn't mean any harm," Edd reassured him and took a deep breath to let out slowly to relieve his anxiety for revealing a little too much about himself.
The conversation between them staled for the next few minutes as they finished up their breakfast, neither one quite sure how to repair the mild tension that had formed between them. As a small way of apology, Kevin paid for both their meals and swore to himself to steer clear of personal question for the remainder of the day. Slowly easing them back into conversation once they were in the car with topics of movies they wanted to see, the Marvel superhero movies coming out later that year was top on both of their lists. The conversation was brief however as Edd fell asleep on him twenty minutes into the drive home as the soft classical music Kevin had chosen to help ease the tension had lulled him to sleep. Kevin, who was used to running on fumes had no trouble staying awake for the next two hours by himself, allowing Edd to rest comfortably as he drove. Only waking him once they had reached Evansville to get the directions he needed to get to his house. Cutting the engine once he pulled up to the curb out front, "What are you doing next weekend?"
"Nothing much really, probably just job hunting on the internet," Edd replied as he unbuckled his seatbelt, "Why?"
Kevin smiles nervously, "Do you want to go out and do something with me next Saturday?"
"Um," Edd thought about it but had to decline, "I don't know if I'll have the money to get down there."
"Then I'll come get you," Kevin hoped that didn't sound as desperate as he thought it did.
"That's a lot of traveling Kevin," Edd felt happy that Kevin would offer, but ten hours on the road would be a bit too much to ask him to do.
"Then there's got to be something we could do around here," he offered a compromise.
"Nothing to write home about."
"Ah," Kevin audibly stopped him from making more excuses, "I'll find us something to do, all you have to do is just say yes."
"Okay, then yes," there was a bubbling excitement in Edd's chest upon Kevin's insistence that he tried to hide behind a calm demeanor, "It would be my pleasure to see you next week."
"Cool," Kevin's face lit up with a smile as his own heart beat with excitement for the upcoming weekend.
Edd opens the car door and places his foot on the pavement, "I'll see you then," and steps out of the car.
"Edd," Kevin calls out and leans over to try and get a better look at him as Edd leans back down to look into the car. Upon catching Edd's blue eyes, all of Kevin's train of thought evaporated into thin air leaving him speechless for a few seconds as he tried to come up with something to say, "Um, take care."
"You too, drive safe," and Edd leans back up to close the door as Kevin admonishes himself for not thinking of something better to say before driving off to head home to research things to do in Evansville for their "date".