I do not own Once Upon a Time.

The past sucks. Hard moments ahead. What will it do to them?

Bernadette should have known it was about time her past caught up with her, it always seemed to be at the wrong time. As if there ever was a right time. And this time, it hit her much harder than it ever had.

It was another land day a few weeks later for the crew. She willingly sat with them, across the table from Killian. She was still trying to keep her distance and her feelings under wraps. But of course her walls were falling, though she would never admit it.

Her hearing then tuned out the crew and whatever they were talking about and Bernadette focused into a conversation at the next table. They were causally talking about a massacre they had carried out years ago. And words cut her to the bone.

Bernadette almost choked on her drink, there was no way possible it was the same men that ruined her village and her family. It was so long ago, they couldn't still be alive and here of all places. Memories filled her faster than usual. The only way she could get away from her memories was to avoid triggers and her own tonic.

But she had to remain calm and collected. She did not want to pull Killian into her personal hell. Either of them was ready for that.

Her head moved the slightest bit but her eyes wanted to see if she recognized any of the men. To her shock, the largest man was basically a step out from her nightmare. She couldn't forget that face with its numerous scar and eyes that still seemed to terrify her.

Bernadette had to keep her distance and not draw attention to herself until Killian decided they should all leave. It shouldn't be that much longer; they had already been through a few rounds each.

Their conversation kept going, explaining every detail of the actions of long ago, the murders, the destruction, the houses burning, how one family was still inside and one little she-devil fought back.

She-devil? That's what they called her? Well, she had been called worse before. Bernadette had to control her breathing and calm herself. And according to the scarred man, the dagger shard she had stabbed into his arm when she fought to get away was still there.

Killian began to talk to her, but Bernadette didn't hear him. She couldn't even answer, she just stared up at him with eyes wide with horror. He noticed that and held out his hand to pull her to her feet.

"Go on, I'll catch up." She gave him the fakest smile she had ever given in her entire life. To her surprise, he nodded and left her. Bernadette then stood up and pulled out her dagger, and walked to the table. But it was her lack of judgment that was her downfall.

Suddenly the man stood up and towered over her. "Can I help you with something, Darling?" He tilted his head to get a better look at her. "Wait, you look familiar…"

That made her move, the hilt of her dagger hit him in the jaw and she kicked him hard in the stomach. His group moved to help him but his hand stopped them.

"You're her, aren't you? I could never forget those eyes." He said, his breath was heavy on the ale. He slowly got to his feet and dropped a heavy hand on her shoulder.

"If you do not get your hand off of me, you will get a matching injury like the last one I gave you." Bernadette did not raise her voice.

"You grew into quite a spit-fire didn't you? I saw who you walked in here with, a broken man who calls himself a pirate captain. Now, how about I take you back to my room and prove to my crew that the she-devil really does exist."

She kicked him in the chest, he fell back to his knees. She grabbed the closest thing, a crossbow and aimed it at his throat. "Only if you have a death wish."

"It seems you have a mission. Go ahead finish the job. Just answer me one thin, did you go to him?"

That sent Bernadette over the edge. Him? How did this murderer know? Was that what it was all about? Her blinders went up and she saw the whole world in a tunnel. She saw only him and heard her own heart. She should kill him? Could she kill him? She had never been out for revenge or save others. She was just trying to stop the memories. But a small part of her wanted to end it all.

Then she heard a tiny voice calling her name from very far away. Time stood still. Before Bernadette was able to understand what was happening, the man straightened up. She watched the light fade from his eyes. He fell, over, an axe embedded in his back.

She dropped the crossbow and took a step backwards, almost tripping if Killian hadn't have caught her.

"We need to leave, now. You caused a scene and I don't want to pay for clean up." He had come back for her, she had hoped he would have. She didn't fully hear him and didn't object to being carried off.

When they got outside, Bernadette finally came to her senses and disentangled herself from Killian and walked to the Jolly Roger alone. She knew he was close behind and wanted answers, answers she did not want to give now or ever.

She boarded the ship, only getting one question: "Where's the Captain?"

"He's coming." She answered.

Killian came up behind her. "Raise the anchor. Bernadette had to cause a scene at a tavern and we need to put distance between us and them." Before he could turn to ask her anything, Bernadette already had slammed the door to the captain's cabin, as an attempt to hide.

He entered it to find her lying on the bed, chin in her hands, staring at the wall. "If you think that I am not going to ask questions, you are greatly mistaken. Either you start talking or I start with the questions, your choice." When she didn't answer, he asked. "Why did you have a crossbow at that man's throat?"

She didn't turn to him, but did answer in a small voice. "He was the one who torched my family's house while they were still inside…"

"You made it out alive."

"While the rest of the village was slaughtered." Bernadette pointed out.

"Why didn't you take the shot then? He murdered the people you cared about."

Bernadette finally sat up and looked at him. "And what would that accomplish, Killian? I am not seeking revenge, I never have. Killing him isn't going to change the past or bring back my family. I refuse to have revenge mission consume my life. If I took the shot, what would I do with my life after that? Nothing."

Killian forced himself to meet her eyes. "What are you seeking, love?"

"Relief." She gulped a sudden sob down, knowing that there was no more to come if she didn't go something quick. Bernadette pulled herself to her feet and went to her bag on the table.

She held a tiny vial as if it was the most important thing in the world.

Kilian came up behind her. "What's that?"

"Something to make me forget."

He stopped her, his hand held hers tight in his, holding onto that vial. "No, lass. You need your pain. it defines you, makes you who you are…"

Killian, let go or I swear I will…" She almost pleaded. Her hand went to his chest to fight back.

He tilted her chin with his hook to look into her teary eyes. "No, keep your pain, hide it deep down if you need to. But have it fuel you at the right time."

Bernadette closed her eyes, to stop the tears from falling. The memories in her head were getting clearer and louder. Against her better judgment, she leaned forward to rest her head against his chest. "Then make the images stop. Killian, take my mind off my memories." She whispered.

"How should I do that, love?" He asked. Killian had an idea of where she was going to take this. She didn't answer him, instead she brought her face up to his and very lightly brushed her lips against his. He placed the vial on the table behind her. her arms circled his neck and she pulled herself closer. It could have been so much more, but Killian was tentative about going forward.

He stopped her with a hand on her chin. "No, not like this, love. You need time to get your thoughts in order." He pulled back, Bernadette stared at him, confused and a little hurt. "Don't look so sad, I'll come back and we can pick it up where we left off." He removed her arms from his neck, took the vial with him and then he left the cabin.

Bernadette sat down on the bed, fully determined not to fall asleep. She had been able to cope in the past, simply by avoiding anything that could trigger a memory. But right now, she could do nothing, including sleep. For her, sleep meant dreams and dreams meant going back home and experiencing the horror all over again.

Kiss number 3!

Reviews?