Chapter 20: The Price Part 2

This chapter contains strong sexual language and BDSM phrases and scenes of adult discussion and body modification and domination – not for the vanilla minded or the easily shocked. And this is *almost* the end of the collection too – the series will be wrapping up in the final chapter, Chapter 21 : Apologise Again.

And thanks for all the favorites and follows, and appreciation of this fic. The next chapter will wrap up the collection :-)

Chapter 20 – The Price, Part 2

It wasn't a magical formula to ease all trace of Clara's broken heart.

There was no way this other Doctor's presence could make up for the loss of the man she loved so deeply. But she was grateful to have the Tenth Doctor around, even though his time was limited – and thinking on that fact was too painful.

"I'm glad you're here," Clara told him as he laid back on her bed, the room was bathed now in the soft glow of the bedside lamp and the softness it gave out seemed to erase the worst of his pallor as it cast a golden glow about the room. He also looked a little better thanks to the shower he had taken before going to bed, it had cooled him off and revived him much, and then after pause to take more meds, he had taken some rest beneath the sheets of Clara's bed.

"How are you?" she asked as she sat beside him, and then she shook her head, thinking what a crazy question that was:

How was he?

He was dying, how was he meant to be feeling about that?

"Sorry, " she began, "I didn't mean it like that.. I know how you are, I meant, are you comfortable?"

"I'm as comfortable as I can be," he promised her, and then he gave a sigh and closed his eyes as his skin began to shine with a faint layer of the start of more perspiration. She had no idea if he was completely out of pain or if the pills simply held the worst of it back, but when he opened his eyes again and looked at her fondly, she no trace of discomfort in his eyes as he smiled and took hold of her hand.

"I was hoping you might come to bed with me."

As he saw the look of surprise in Clara's eyes, amusement danced in his own gaze.

"Just because I don't have long, it doesn't mean my sex drive has disappeared – well, not yet," he said, and he gave her a smile that melted her heart.

"Coming to bed, Clara?" he asked hopefully, and then she smiled too and nodded, instantly casting aside all thoughts of his hopeless situation – if he could be optimistic and live for the moment, so could she...

Missy was terrified.

As she lay trapped in the cell deep in the heart of the palatial home of the Marquis De Sade, she felt sure she had never been so afraid of the Doctor – even in the old days, in other life times, nothing compared to this, to being in female form, and tied up with no hope of escape.

Not with him and his urges...

"What are you going to do to me?" she said, and managed a show of defiance in her intense gaze that still carried a hint of unmistakable madness, a signature that had clearly played on through out all of her lifetimes in either gender.

The Doctor stood over her looking handsome and cutting a dashing figure in his dark suit, the jacket lining bright crimson, as he paused to reach up for his shirt and lose a few buttons. Then he drew in a deep breath and as he let it out, the sound was pure unadulterated satisfaction.

He looked down at her with large, dark pupils deepened by lust and spoke to her in a low voice as his gaze switched from her face to her parted legs.

"I brought a couple of things with me," he said to her, "And I'm going to use them on you. And believe me, you will never be able to forget what I'm about to do to you. I'm not trying to cure myself. I'm just taking it out on you, an enemy, because I don't want to hurt the one I love. I'm going to do it to you instead, then spend some nice, calm, quiet time alone, frequently masturbating over the day I crossed a line and lived out my ultimate dream. And then I'm going take a cold shower and maybe give it a year or two in her time and go back and see if I can put things right."

Now he saw pure fear in her gaze. She tensed and her legs trembled as she tried to close them, but her bonds made it impossible. And she was still desperately aroused, and the sight of her on her back and naked from the waist down was almost too much for him as he considered his plan.

He laughed darkly.

"I mustn't do it..."

"Yes!" she told him desperately, "Of course not! Don't give in to your sadism! You know it's not really you...it's just something that comes over you...most lifetimes skip this curse! You just got unlucky this time, Doctor...but you're a good man, I know you are!"

Her words had been wasted.

He didn't take his gaze off her open legs and her swollen sex, where she was unable to control her arousal.

"I will be a very good man one day," he said, "But not right now...Nobody's perfect, Missy!"

"But you were having second thoughts!" she wailed, and he shook his head.

"No, when I said I mustn't do it, I was referring to having a wank. I want to, and later on I will, I'll have many..." he laughed, "I'll be coming over this one for years – but I can't do it right now, I want to wait, I mustn't ruin it..."

And then he drew a small spray can out of his pocket, took off the top and paused to reach down and place his hand between her legs, then he spread her wide and carefully applied the spray in a single burst.

Missy gave a gasp and then her breathing came in short, sharp gasps as all sensation drained out of her sex.

"What have you done?" she said in panic.

He put the spray can away and managed to briefly take his gaze off her open legs and the target of his torments.

"That was nothing at all," he told her, "Just a spray to temporarily numb the area... I didn't use much, it will wear off after a couple of hours. That's when the pain will set in, along with an ache and little flickers of throbs that will feel heavy enough to make you want to touch yourself, but of course, you won't be able to come. I'm not saying you will never come again in this lifetime, maybe you will... it's going to take a few years. So possibly, or perhaps never."

Then he took out a second item from his pocket.

As she saw him remove a syringe from a case and he prepared to inject, she dragged in a shocked lungful of air.

"Please don't..."

He was between her legs now, pausing to carefully spread her wide, taking his time as he prepared to do the job very carefully indeed.

"It's only the contents of the spray I just gave you," he said to her, and for a moment she relaxed – until she saw the look in his eyes. There was more, and he was not going to change his mind about what ever it was he planned to do...

"The spray is harmless when applied externally," he told her, "But very dangerous when injected – you can expect some permanent swelling, which after the temporary spray wears off will feel horrendously bruised and painful until the injection site heals. Then you'll get vague throbs that will drive you insane for release and you can try, you can rub away at it all day long if you want to, but you won't even come close to climax. This injection will kill off all chance of orgasm for at least ten years – maybe fifteen. Who knows, feeling like you have nothing down there might even take your mind off your evil deeds for a while, as you search the universe for a cure. But there isn't one. And don't worry Missy, I've filled this needle all the way up with the maximum dosage, so you can be sure I'm doing a very careful and thorough job with it."

And then he sat down on the table and leaned in between her legs, held the soft flesh open and carefully lowered the needle towards its target.

He couldn't help but notice despite her terror, she was still aroused, and he shook his head.

"I can't believe you're still wet. But it's okay, all those urges stop, they stop right now."

And she felt a pressure, a deep pressure as the needle went in and he slowly and carefully injected the contents.

There was no pain because the spray had turned her most sensitive organ to ice, but all the same, Missy screamed so loudly that her cries carried beyond the cell and down the hallways of the château, and was enough to bring a smile to the face of De Sade as he sat at his table still drinking fine wine.

Still on Earth and many years ahead of the Twelfth Doctor's current destination, Clara was breathless as they rolled together and he was on top of her again, thrusting deep inside her as the Tenth Doctor breathed hard and caressed her gently as they made love.

Then he ran his fingers through her hair and looked into her eyes and held back from more movement, their bodies locked together as he asked her a question:
"Will you show me what you wanted with him, with your Doctor? Please..." he paused for air, then spoke again,"Show me, Clara – show me what you really wanted from a life with him...Let me inside your mind."

And she said nothing as she blinked back tears and thought of all she had lost, what might have been, and what could never be...

As she looked into his eyes, he didn't need to ask again, he sensed her consent, and then he gently placed his fingertips on her temples as his body trembled and he forced himself to hold back from love making, instead closing his eyes and sliding inside her mind, to the place where lived her hopes and dreams...

She let him in.

Clara showed him everything...

By now, the spray had worn off.

Missy wasn't even grateful when he untied her bonds and helped her to stand – instead she doubled over slightly, one hand clutching between her legs as the absence of the spray's effect brought out a singing pain in her swollen sex, and as he took hold of her arm and waked her to the cell door, she staggered awkwardly.

"It hurts!" she protested.

The Doctor opened the door and shoved her though it, keen to be on his way.

"I'm still waiting for you to say thank you." he remarked, and then he walked her up the corridor to say farewell to De Sade, as she walked with difficulty beside him, wearing only a corset, and her hand still firmly clutching the ache between her legs.

After a brief farewell, during which De Sade kept smirking at Missy as her hand stayed between her legs and discomfort registered on her face, the Doctor broke some news to his old friend.

"After returning Missy, I have decided to go home to see what can be done to salvage my relationship," he said, and De Sade shrugged.

"Your choice, Doctor. I wish you well with it. And I hope to see you again some day."

The Doctor smiled.

"Who knows? "he replied, "Maybe."

And then he took Missy by the arm and she gave a moan of discomfort as he led her towards the door of the Château.

Once they were back in the Tardis, the Doctor quickly threw a lever and set the ship on its journey.

And Missy just stood there looking at him, her hand still clutching between her legs.

"Warming it up won't help," he said to her as he turned from the controls and smiled, "But this is much better – Missy under control. This is good for you, it's going to keep your mind on things other than dominating the universe in your hunger for power. Now come over here and say thank you."

Her eyes widened.

"Thank you for what, killing all feeling in my clitoris?"

He shrugged.

"It's only a few years... nothing at all to a Timelord. Stop whining and get over here."

She glared at him.

His own gaze hardened.

"You. Here. Now."

He snapped his fingers and pointed to the floor in front of him.

Missy looked at him for a moment, considered what else he might have planned, and then decided to obey.

As she sank to her knees in front of him, he pulled down his zip and looked down at her.

"Before you please me, I want you to thank me."

Defiance shone in her eyes.

"Do it," he said to her, "Or I'll give that bruised little organ of yours a crushing pinch that will make you howl like an animal."

She drew in a shaken breath.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He slid his fingers through her hair and twisted it tight, jerking her head back.

"Louder."

"Thank you!"

"For what?" he asked.

She winced in pain as he tugged harder on her hair.

"For stopping my pleasure...controlling me...thank you for..."

She paused, unsure how to continue.

"For being the man who took away your orgasms!" he prompted.

"Thank you for taking my orgasms...for killing my urges, for turning that flesh to ice..."

He drew in a sharp breath and freed his erection from his clothing.

"That's enough – shut up!" he said urgently, and gripped the back of her head harder as he twisted her hair, shoving his erection deep into her mouth.

She whimpered, one hand still clutching between her legs as he pumped in and out of her roughly, pausing to look down at that hand still between her legs, a sweet reminder of what he had done.

And then he couldn't take it any more, and he shoved her mouth on to him hard, coming hot and fast and after all he had indulged in, and the climax was mind blowing, even by a Timelord's standard...

As soon as his lust was spent, he pushed her aside and tidied his clothing.

"Get up," he said to her, and as the Tardis landed, she staggered to her feet, still swollen and exposed and the sight of it made him feel his arousal creeping back all over again. But this kink was best enjoyed alone as a delicious memory of a fantasy fulfilled – and he didn't want to have any more contact with his old enemy.

"Out," he said, and as the Tardis door opened she looked in horror at the sight of what lie beyond – a busy Victorian street...

"I'm naked!" she exclaimed.

He smirked and took her by the arm, forced her over to the open door way and shoved her out.

"No, Doctor, you can't leave me like this!" she cried, and the Doctor paused for a second to take a sly glance around the street – her cries had attracted attention to the woman who stood beside the blue box, wearing nothing but a corset, her hand over her bare swollen sex as she looked about in panic.

"Please!" Missy begged him.

"Sorry, I can't," The Doctor replied, "I'm off to wash - I need to because I've been in your mouth. Then I'm going to sit back and masturbate until my balls turn blue as I think of you and what I did... you can think about it too, if you like – but with a clit that may as well be dead, you won't get anywhere. Enjoy the frustration and please, do think of me every time you fail to come. Bye, Missy!"

Then he slammed the door of the Tardis, and as it faded in and out of sight and then vanished, no one had really noticed the blue box at all – they were all too busy staring at the woman who was naked from the waist down in the middle of the street, still clutching at her swollen sex...

Clara slept in late that morning, and only woke up when she heard the sound of a door closing. She sat up sharply and the empty space beside her sent a spike of panic through her...

"Doctor?" she called out.

The panic was killed instantly as the bedroom door opened and the Tenth Doctor came into the room.

He still looked pale and tired but he smiled warmly as he met her gaze.

"I was busy... had to do something in the Tardis...Nothing for you to worry about. And I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm a lot weaker than you think I am and I have to leave soon."

Clara got out of bed and began to reach for her clothing.

"No, I'm not ready for this -"

He gave a heavy sigh.

"I just ran more analysis on my condition. If I don't leave today I won't get to see the person I need to see before I regenerate. I'm sorry... Look, why don't you slow down, take your time, get dressed, I'll make some tea and see you in the front room, okay?"

Clara nodded, wanting to say this was not okay, but instead holding it back. Then the Doctor left the room and she finished off getting dressed as she tried to hold back the pain and anger she felt in her heart. It wasn't fair, she loved him and he was dying. He didn't deserve that, and she didn't deserve to lose him, either...

A short while later she was in the front room, very aware that he had glanced to his Tardis more than once, because he was ready to go. She wondered who he was so desperate to see one last time, but didn't ask.

"So why are you still here if you're so desperate to leave?" she asked as he sipped his tea, "I mean, I know you don't have long left, but you have the time for one last cup of tea with me?"

The Doctor set the cup down and looked at her thoughtfully.

"I need to explain something to you, Clara...I was hoping I'd have longer, but my calculations were wrong. Happiness, it's always eluded me. Maybe it's because it comes at a price, and I know what mine is – I could have had a chance at something wonderful with you, and now its too late for me...But I've left you something."

And he reached into the pocket of his coat, drew out a disc and placed it on the table.

Clara looked at it and then back to him with a confused expression.

"I don't understand?"

"It's not to be played until I'm dead," he told her, "Which means once my Tardis takes off I'm back on route to my own destiny so please do consider me dead when my blue box vanishes. Then waste no time and play that disc."

"You're leaving me a farewell message?"

He paused, quickly gathering his thoughts.

"Yes and no. Well, more no...It's not entirely a goodbye."

"I don't get this."

The look in his eyes softened.

"You will," he promised her, and his voice carried more tenderness than she had expected. Then he placed his hand over hers and kissed her softly.

"I have to go," he said to her, "Because there was somebody before I ever knew you and I need to see her one last time before I regenerate. Her name is Rose Tyler, and I love her."

As he saw her stunned expression, he slipped his hand from her grasp and got up, then he turned away and walked over to his Tardis and opened the door. As he stepped inside he turned back to her.

"I do love you, Clara," he promised her, "And if I'd met you first...Oh what difference does it make now? But please remember this, because I care about my future happiness as much as I do about yours – if he comes back, and I think he will, put him in his place! Tell him to keep it for the bedroom, make him control himself. He can if he wants to...and he will probably have to."

And he smiled, like he knew a punchline to a joke she was yet to hear.

"Bye Clara," he said softly.

"Bye, Doctor," she replied, and he saw love in her eyes, and he smiled again and there was no need for words as the love they shared passed between them unspoken.

Then he closed the door and the Tardis faded in and out of sight, and as it vanished, Clara felt a deep sense of loss.

Then she looked down at the disc on the table with interest, and she picked it up, wondering why the Tenth Doctor had left her with this parting gift...