AN: So, here's the next one. This might have to tide you over a bit while I figure out the rest of Andy's first semester. I think I know what I want to do, but I'm still playing with ideas. And I need to finish my other story before people start revolting. Anyways, I hope you like it :)
Sam sat through CJ 101 class silently. Boyko had taken charge and talked right through, getting the class ready for their final the following week. He probably could have gone to the library and studied for his own final. But, that's not the way Boyko worked and, normally, Sam wouldn't mind. But, normally, he didn't feel so uncomfortable while he sat in the front row next to Andy.
He could still hear her saying those words in his mind, over and over, I love you. I do. I love you. I do. I love you. And he could remember, in minute detail, how he didn't say anything in return. Not a word. Well, one word, what? Sam had never been much with words, but he had more of a handle on them than that. If he did say something, though, he had no idea what it would be. An entire night and most of the morning had passed, and he still had no idea how he should have responded to her.
And she kept looking at him. Her wide, brown eyes that were normally shining with a smile were downcast and sad. He'd done that to her and he hated himself for it. But, if she loved him like she said she did, then she would need to give him some time to figure out his own feelings. That was not something he had a handle on. It's not like he wanted to break up with her. He really just wanted to go back to how things were right before the words came spewing out of her mouth. God, why did he ask her what was wrong? He asked, he should have expected an answer. But never, in a million years, would he expect that to be it.
Her friends kept looking at him, too, and he knew what that meant. He may not understand much about women, but he was smart enough to understand why Peck's eyes were boring into him every time they made eye contact. She was pissed at him because Andy confided in her and probably told her all about his lack of a response. Andy probably thought that everything was ruined. In reality, he wanted everything to be perfect. In his experience, or at least in what he'd seen in his twenty-four years, love was far from perfection.
When Boyko released the class, Andy got up and shuffled right past him without a word. He stayed in his seat. Her friends took their time and glared at him as they left. He sighed and dragged himself to stand outside of the women's bathroom where he knew Andy was changing. He leaned his shoulders against the wall and crossed his ankles and arms—waiting. She took her time, but when she came out, he pushed himself off the wall and she stopped dead in her tracks looking around, at anything but him.
"Hey," he said, taking a tentative step toward her.
"Hi," she said, her eyes now glued to his feet. "I didn't think you'd wait," she admitted and he nodded, taking another step toward her. He missed her. As crazy as it was to admit with her standing right in front of him, he did.
"Why wouldn't I?" He asked and squeezed his eyes shut at the stupidity of the question before she looked at him and narrowed her own eyes.
"I don't know," she said, her arms rising to her sides before dropping completely. "I don't know anything anymore, apparently. I definitely don't know how to tell someone I lo-"
"Andy," he said, cutting her and that godforsaken word off. "Do you want to just walk to dining hall? I want to cram some more before my final."
She stared at him, trying to read him, and he smiled. It took a moment or two, but her face softened and her lips curled upward. "We're… We're okay?"
"Great," he promised. And he meant it as long as he didn't hear the word love come out of her mouth again until he understood exactly what that word meant.
She looked at him across the library. He was spilling over his books and his notes, studying for his final the next day. They'd talked briefly on the way in and he told her that the one he had taken earlier in the day went well. She was supposed to be putting together a study sheet her for bio final, but she had a week to worry about that. Now, she was worried about Sam. He said they were okay, he said they were great. But he hadn't kissed her once all day. She'd never thought much about how much time they spent with their lips glued together, but every kiss they shared was now on a running loop in her mind.
Dov was next to her while Chris and Gail sat across from them doing work for another class. But her eyes remained on him and Oliver. Sam never looked up, but the few times Oliver did, his eyes would narrow and he'd look between her and Sam. She still didn't look away. She was becoming one of those girls. The ones that jump too soon and get disappointed when their boyfriends don't feel the same. She was a girl who put everything out there—she shared too much. And Sam was not that guy. He held things in a vice and never loosened his grip. It was no wonder he was terrified of her and what she told him the night before.
She finally turned her gaze toward Dov and started asking him questions about the classwork. She was a little distracted in class, what with everything going on in her mind, and she wanted to get a good idea of what she had to look forward to in terms of their final.
"You're not going to say goodbye?" She heard Oliver say and she kept her eyes down at her book while her friends all turned toward the sound.
"I don't want to bother her," Sam said—quieter, but still audible.
"You've been bothering her all night," Oliver argued and she sighed.
"Are they talking about you?" Chris asked and she shrugged even though she knew full well that they were.
"I haven't said a word to her since we got here," Sam reminded Oliver and Andy sighed again, looking up at the two of them.
"I'll be back," Andy said to her friends, getting up and walking out of the library—past Sam and Oliver. She reached the sidewalk and realized that she didn't take her jacket. Thankfully, it wasn't snowing, but it was freezing. She curled her fists into the ends of her sweater and kicked her toe against the cement.
"You're an ass," Oliver whispered and she looked up to see him leaving Sam behind and then she locked her eyes on her boyfriend.
"What is going on, Sam?" She asked, her arms flinging to her sides. "I messed up last night, I know that, but you don't need to treat me like this."
"Like what?" He asked, his backpack sliding off his shoulders until it landed with a thud on the ground. He was in front of her in a second, his hand holding her chin gently. "Like what, McNally?" He asked again.
She gripped his jacket in both hands and pulled him as close as she could while he was still holding onto her. "I don't even know," she admitted quietly. "I just feel like I screwed up and I'm being punished."
"You didn't do anything wrong," he told her and it sounded like a promise. "I just need- I need time. To process. Things."
"What?" She asked, her hands falling limp. "Like- like space?"
"No," he insisted, pulling her head just a touch closer. "No space."
"Good, because I don't do space. Space is for losers," she smiled and he laughed. It sounded genuine. "I just don't want things to be weird. I meant what I said, but I get it. You need time. To process. Things," she smiled again and he nodded.
"I know you meant it," he told her. The tip of his nose ran the length of hers before he pressed three quick kisses against her lips. "So, in the interest of not wanting space, do you want to stay over tonight?" He asked quietly, his lips barely off of hers. He finally let go of her face and ran his hands down the side of her body until he could wrap an arm around her waist. "Please?"
"I can't," she said sadly, stepping one foot between both of his—pressing her cold body against his warm one. "We have a mandatory floor meeting about closing up the dorms after finals. I'm really sorry."
"So am I," he smiled. He kissed her again, slowly. "I'll see you later, Andy."
"See you later," she told him, standing taller to press another kiss to his lips.
Sam didn't see Andy the next day, but it was rare that he would. Tuesdays were usually spent apart unless they made an effort to see each other at night. Neither made the effort. For him, he needed to study. For her, she had promised to have a movie night with her friends. It was fine, they were fine, and they'd talked. That, in it of itself, was a miracle for Sam. He didn't talk. He shut down.
Oliver wasn't home when he finally got back from the library and he didn't see him in the morning or on campus. So, when he walked in to find Sam studying at the small kitchen table, he sat down across from him. Sam looked up, trying to see if he was going to say anything more about him and Andy. The night before he made it clear that if Sam wanted to keep a girl like Andy he had to have the common sense to say goodbye to her before leaving for the night. He didn't even know what went on in Sam's truck on Sunday.
"Hey, brother," Sam said, slowly closing his book. "Where've you been?"
"Around," Oliver answered shortly and Sam nodded. "How's McNally?"
"Good, she's with her friends," he told him. "We're good, too, if that's what you're asking."
"It was," Oliver admitted and Sam nodded again. The two sat in silence, just looking at one another, until Oliver finally spoke again. "What are you afraid of?"
"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, swallowing hard. "What would I be afraid of?"
"I don't know, but it's something. I know you, Sammy, and I know how you feel about Andy. You don't walk away without making out with her, let alone a goodbye."
"I told you we were fine. We're fine," he insisted and Oliver sighed.
"You're going to mess this up, brother. You're going to shut yourself off and she's going to book it to find someone else who will tell her what is wrong."
"McNally and I are fine," Sam said again, shaking his head in frustration.
"She told you she loved you, right?"
Sam's eyes flew to Oliver's face. It was softer than he was expecting it to be, like he was really worried about Sam. "How did you know that?" Sam asked slowly and Oliver shrugged.
"This is what I was worried about before, Sammy."
"Yeah," he sighed, standing up. "I know."
He went to the fridge and pulled out two beers, setting one in front of Oliver before he sat down again. "You don't love her?"
"I never said that," he reminded him. "And I don't want to talk about this. We're honestly okay. I swear."
"Okay, then I have to believe you."
"Yeah," Sam nodded before taking a sip of his beer. "You do.
"I met a girl last night after I left the library," he said suddenly and Sam smiled, his eyes wide. "Weird girl, but, I don't know, I like her."
"That's why you didn't come home," Sam laughed. "Good for you, man. What's her name?"
"Don't laugh," Oliver warned and the side of Sam's mouth curled up into an accidental smile. "Seriously, Sam."
"I'm not laughing. I don't even know what I'd be laughing at. I asked her name."
"Celery."
Sam bit the inside of his cheeks and nodded slowly as Oliver watched him closely. It took a couple of seconds before he could say something. "Cool," he said, followed by a deep breath. "Never heard that one before."
"Yeah, me either. You'll like her. She's meeting us at the Penny on Friday night after our finals are over."
"Whoa, moving pretty fast. She's already meeting the friends?"
"There's something about her, Sammy," Oliver insisted and Sam nodded soberly. "You'll see when you meet her."
"Can't wait."
Friday night, Andy walked into the Penny with Chris and Gail. Traci was already there with Jerry and Dov had met up with Oliver hours earlier. She hadn't talked to Sam since after CJ 101 because his afternoon class was cancelled, but he was supposed to be there, too. Gail tugged on her jacket and nodded toward Traci, Jerry, and Dov and they met them at the bar.
"Hey!" Traci greeted them, louder than was expected. She must have taken the end of her boyfriend's finals very well. "I'm so glad you're here."
Then, she was hugging Andy tighter than she'd ever hugged her before moving onto Gail and, finally, Chris. When she was back at Jerry's side, Chris quirked his eyebrows at Andy and they shared a smile. "What are you guys drinking?" Gail asked, flagging over the bartender. Traci and Jerry held up some vodka drink while Dov held up a beer. Gail opted for the vodka while Andy and Chris ordered beers.
About halfway through her beer, in the middle of a laughing fit she was sharing with her friends, she felt a hand run down her back. She turned to see Sam smiling down at her and she smiled back sitting up enough for her lips to meet his in a quick kiss. "What's so funny?" He asked, taking the beer she was offering him.
"Jerry was just telling us about the time you two got into a fight over the TV in your dorm room freshman year," she said and Sam laughed, running his tongue along the inside of his teeth. She noticed he did that when he laughed and it was one of those things that was purely Sam.
"It's funny now," he said, taking off his jacket and tossing it on the back of her stool. "Not so funny when I broke his nose and we both got kicked out."
"Oh my god!" Dov laughed nearly spitting out his drink and Sam nodded.
"I see why the dorms are not your favorite place in the world," Andy said and he shrugged with a smile.
"When we got back from winter break, we had nowhere to live so we ended up getting an apartment together off campus," Jerry explained and Andy and all her friends narrowed their eyes in confusion. "And now we're best friends. It was fine once we had our own rooms."
"It sucked," Sam promised. He pulled over a stool and sat next to Andy, his hand curling around her knee before moving steadily up—and then back down—her thigh. Over and over. "I mean, it would have been fine, but it was too expensive for two freshman."
"Yeah, I definitely don't recommend it," Jerry agreed. "Stay on campus as long as you can. Don't get in stupid fights and get kicked out. You'll regret it."
Andy and her friends nodded and she turned toward Sam, their knees knocking underneath the bar. "How's it feel to be done your first semester of grad school?" She asked, leaning her head toward his.
"Really good," he nodded. "Is this your last hurrah before you go into a finals hibernation?" He asked and she laughed.
"Unfortunately, it is," she told him and he nodded, his face turning serious.
"So, that means you'll stay over tonight before going under tomorrow, right?" He asked and she smiled wide. Things were feeling back to normal and, even though they didn't see each other much over the week while he studied, she wasn't worried anymore. She may have spoken too soon for his comfort level, but she knew he cared about him. It was obvious in the way his hand still continued to move up and down her thigh and how his eyes never left her face.
"Yeah, I think I can arrange that," she said and he finally cracked another smile before kissing her. "Wait, where's Oliver?" She asked and he shrugged so she looked to Dov. "Dov?"
"He was here right before you came in," he said, looking around. When he focused on one spot longer than the rest, she followed his line of sight. "Who is that?" He asked.
Sam pushed himself to sit taller and looked. "Celery," he told them and Andy looked at him. "New girl he met earlier this week. He'll bring her over eventually."
Andy turned back toward him, suddenly interested in nothing but him and his presence. "I missed you this week," she said and his eyes found hers as his finger brushed hair out of her face.
"Me too," he said quietly and she put a hand against his cheek, her thumb grazing his bottom lip. "Gonna miss you next week."
"Then I'm gone for a month," she reminded him sadly and he shut his eyes as his forehead fell against hers. "I'll come back for New Year's."
"I'm sorry for this week, McNally," he told her quietly, his eyes still shut and his forehead still on hers. "With finals and, well, you know."
Andy did know, but she was still a little surprised he wouldn't say it. In the little time they'd spent together since Sunday night when she dropped the love bomb on him, he never let her say the word and he had never come close to saying it himself. She was starting to realize there was a good chance he never would.