Hello!

It's summer over here in Sweden, and even though it's still pretty cold, I'm filled with the happy feeling most people get at this time of year. Mostly because school's over, but anyway.

So, summer. What kind of drabble are we going to start off the summer with?

A Christmas one, of course.

Merry Christmas Darling – The Carpenters

HAZEL

It was truly beautiful.

The whole camp was decorated with colorful lights, garlands, and Christmas trees. Wreaths were hanging on the doors, and some demigods were wearing Santa Claus hats, all so happy and excited about the holiday. Gifts and greeting cards were exchanged between friends and old enemies decided to ignore each other instead of fight (which was a big improvement).

Everybody was still aware of the strict rules, but it didn't matter; it was Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year. Even Reyna was a little loose, smiling more often and sometimes pretending not to see when people broke small rules.

And yes, the happy mood rubbed off on Hazel. Maybe not that bubbly excitement most people felt, but a peaceful bliss. She didn't let herself feel joyful, because she had so much to think about.

Hazel was standing in front of the huge Christmas tree in the heart of New Rome, admiring the beauty of it like a couple of other demigods, too. She let her gaze sweep over their surroundings, and stuck at two boys standing on the other side of the tree, partly invisible because of the green mass parting them and Hazel.

Jason spotted her and leaned to the side to see her clearer. He was grinning, wearing a jacket and mittens, and he poked his friend and pointed at Hazel.

Frank looked troubled, but he smiled anyway. The two boys waved, and Hazel raised her hand too with a small smile. She tried to ignore the guilt that bloomed in her chest when she saw her ex-boyfriend, because the break-up was still fresh and even if he had understood and it had been calm and quiet, she still felt very guilty whenever they met. Of course they were still friends; they hung out with Jason together all the time, but they weren't as close as before. Hazel hated it; it was herfault.

But no one could deny that it had been necessary. She had been so confused, because Leo, Sammy, Frank, and it was all so strange and messy. She had left Frank to get some air, to be able to breathe without feeling like she was suffocating by the choice she had to make and all the expectations, pain, guilt and jealousy. It had been too much.

And now Hazel was free, alone, feeling like she was fleeting. She didn't feel any more ready to decide what to do, and all she had gotten out of breaking up with Frank was a feeling of slowly disappearing in to her head since nothing was there to ground her.

She needed time, and the stupid thing was that she had so much. Because Frank had been so gentle and understanding – sad, yes, but he realized what she was facing and gods she really did love him. Just not in the way he wanted, and that made Hazel feel so filthy, because she should love him, she really should. And she had tried – during the whole quest, she had pretended that everything was okay, that her feelings weren't slowly becoming platonic and tangled and messy, and she had tried so hard to love him like she should, so, so hard. Hazel had hated herself for not being able to feel what she had felt before she met Leo.

Leo didn't even know.

Hazel had avoided him. Escaped every opportunity to spend time with him, because it made her heart feel heavy and light at the same time, and it made her feel lightheaded and giddy and everything she should've felt with Frank. And Leo had just accepted her stupid behavior, he left her alone as much as he could, and she had felt so horrible.

And then they had parted. Here she was, in Camp Jupiter with Roman demigods that never had cared about her and two friends, whereof one of them should hate her.

She had all the space and time anyone could wish for, and still didn't feel any wiser than when she was in love with both Frank and Leo.

Sighing, Hazel turned and left with heavy, dragging steps. She buried her hands deeply in her pockets and looked down at the ground, wishing she could sink down and disappear.

Someone suddenly appeared next to her, walking just as slowly but with much lighter steps. Hazel's head snapped up in surprise.

"Hello, Hazel," Reyna said coolly, not even bothering to look at her. "How are you?"

"I… I'm fine," Hazel said slowly, blinking in confusion. "Um, has something happened?"

Reyna didn't casually talk to her like this. Reyna didn't casually talk to anyone. Worry started to settle in Hazel's mind. Something had to have happened.

But the praetor just turned and looked at her, her dark eyes not as piercing and hard as always.

"No. Why would you think that?"

Hazel blushed slightly and quickly averted her eyes.

"You just… I find this very unusual," she murmured.

Reyna stopped walking, and Hazel automatically did the same.

"Hazel, look at me." She slowly obeyed, finding the praetor smiling. "Can't I speak to a camper?"

"Of course." Hazel's cheeks flushed more. "But – "

"However, something unusual actually has happened. This was sent to you," Reyna cut off, looking down and pulling out a small object from a pocket on her coat. She handed it to Hazel.

With brisk steps, the praetor left Hazel with the thing in her hands, blinking confusedly. Slowly, Hazel uncurled her fingers around the object, to find a small box. It was white with a small, red ribbon on top. She twisted and turned it in wonder, but there was no note or anything else to announce who it was from.

Carefully, Hazel pulled away the lid. As soon as she did that, a piece of neatly folded paper fell out; she caught it just before it hit the ground. Momentarily forgetting the box, she quickly unfolded the note and read the squiggly, messy letters written on it.

I wanted to give you something since it's your first Christmas in the modern world.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Leo

A smile slowly spread across Hazel's face, and her fingers tightened around the edges of the small note. She reread the message a few times, soaking in every detail of the handwriting, before remembering the opened box in her other hand.

Hazel quietly gasped.

It was a necklace: a very thin chain with a small star on it. She instantly knew it was gold, and even without her demigod-powers, what else could be shining so brightly? With trembling fingers, she carefully took it out from the box and let it rest on her palm.

Something in her chest tightened as she watched it and realized that Leo had wanted her to have it.

Hazel carefully let her fingers grip the ends of the necklace and brought it to her head, locking it on the back of her neck and letting her fingers trace the thin, golden chain until it reached the cold star that was resting on the skin just between her collarbones.

For the first time since the quest, her head felt perfectly clear. Finally, she knew exactly what she wanted.

I've just one wish this Christmas Eve, Hazel thought and looked down at the necklace, wishing that somehow, Leo would hear her wish. I wish I were with you.