Chapter 19! This is the REAL beginning of Sienna's downfall! I could've worked more on this chapter I know, but I felt like I couldn't because I'm so engrossed in the second half of Sienna's fall from grace. I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I had fun writing it… because I know the majority has made it clear that Sienna needs to learn karma is a bitch! Like JT sings, "What goes around… comes around" (true believer in that!) Ok so after this, there are 3 more posts left: second half of Sienna's downfall, our bbs, and an epilogue! This is written in Dan's POV and may be a little vague but it'll be clarified in the next chapter!
Song lyrics in the chapter: "Half of My Heart" by John Mayer ft. Taylor Swift and "Good Goodbye" by Diana Degarmo
Don't own GG but I do own mistakes here!
As always, R&R please!
Waking up this morning, I know it's an important day. Today would be the turning point in my life… although not exactly the way I thought it was going to go… but that would come later.
"I'm getting married. I'm ready."
In a mere 4 hours, I would officially be a married man and Sienna would officially be a Humphrey.
"I'm getting married. I'm ready." Right?
Yes.
Ding.
I perk up to the arousing aroma of Folgers' French Roast that awaits me.
I browse through the cue cards as I sip the scalding liquid from my favorite blue ceramic mug.
I, Dan Humphrey take you, Sienna Vattani, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward.
I promise to run out and get ice cream for you in the middle of the night.
To always put the toilet seat down when I'm done.
To pick up my dirty socks every day.
To occasionally miss a game of COD with Nate and Brady when we have something else to do.
I promise I will be true and loyal, and cherish you for all the days of our lives.
All this and more I vow to you, from this day forward until death do us part.
I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been
then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
trying my best to understand all that your love can bring
oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
half of my heart takes time
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)
oh, with half of my heart
I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else
I made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself
lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came
Showing me another way and all that my love can bring
oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
half of my heart takes time
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)
oh, with half of my heart
with half of my heart
your faith is strong
but I can only fall short for so long
Down the road, later on
you will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart
but I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
[x3]
but I can't stop loving you with half of my...
half of my heart
half of my heart
half of my heart's got a real good imagination
half of my heart's got you
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that half of my heart won't do
half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring
And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything
half of my heart
It's decent and heartfelt enough, but I know it didn't pour my heart and soul out.
I… I love Sienna… I really do… but I just couldn't.
I still clearly remember the original vows I wrote for Blair and Louis' wedding, the unedited version, which I plugged my name into the lines.
I, Dan Humphrey take you, Blair Waldorf, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward.
Looking back over the many years, I always thought you'd be the death of me. And you are… you are the death of me Blair Waldorf, but in the sweetest way possible.
Blair, you're amazingly talented, fiercely strong, independent, outspoken, beautiful, intelligent, intuitive, and capable of anything. And those are just the bare minimums to the many sides I see of you.
I will love you for you and all your purses and shoes.
I will love you through shopping splurges and days you consider "bad hair" days, which I think is never.
I will love you when I sleepover at Nate's after we argue about watching Breakfast at Tiffany's… again.
I will take "Cabbage Patch" as words of endearment and not be entirely offended when you criticize my writing.
I will love you even as you go through my plaid infested closet and set fire to my clothes, whether or not you are under PMS…
I will love you and be by your side every minute through our families' crazy visits…
And…
I will cherish our life together as lovers and as best friends for as long as we both can stay sane.
I've decided to change at St. Joseph's, our chosen venue. Sienna and I were extremely thankful they let us hold our wedding there in such short notice.
Receiving a text from Nate and Brady, who were waiting to drive me up to the church, I grab my belongings and grab one last item from the closet.
My wedding gift to Sienna.
Sienna mentioned how adventurous she was but always regretted never keeping a scrapbook filled with her adventures. Well, I got her a giant maroon colored scrapbook, hoping we'd fill in the pages of our adventures together. Because of the material, I was allowed to stitch words on the cover.
The cover was stitched with the Italian words:
"La Nostra Avventura Libro" *
The scrapbook was carefully hidden behind a few books of my stuff that was on the top shelf of our closet.
Pulling the scrapbook out, I, being the clumsy man I am manage to knock over some of Sienna's boxes of shoes that were adjacent to me.
From the scattered heels I try to match up and place back in their boxes… I find a letter that fell and landed at the corner of the room.
Unsure of what to do with the letter and being pressed for time, the letter gets placed in the inside of my suit jacket, along with my cue cards.
"Dude, what took you so long? Don't tell us you had second thoughts because the girls are already at the church!"
"No, of course not! I just wasn't expecting either of you to be so… punctual… seriously, when have you guys ever been on time for anything? Uh… I think never!"
"When our best bud is getting married, we thought: To hell with it! Let's break tradition!"
"Haha. Very funny."
"Are you ready to get married, Dan?"
"Yes. I'm ready. I'm getting married and I'm so ready!"
My voice is filled with nerves and hopefully they take that in context of standard pre-wedding jitters… not because I'm doubting myself… which I am most certainly not.
The three of us dress to our charming selves from head to toe. Stepping out to check on the girls, I was left on my own to gather any last minute thoughts.
"I'm getting married. I'm ready."
I hope our scrapbook will be filled with many adventures and will lead to several volumes, as I flip through the current blank pages. To go over my vows one last time, I pull out the cue cards.
Again, like earlier, the letter which I had actually forgotten landed on the ground, when I pulled the cards out.
"I'm getting married. I'm ready."
I know it's completely rude and inconsiderate to be reading the letter but my curiosity took over and won, as I wondered why Sienna needed to hide it within a box of her heels, if it weren't so important.
I was expecting a gushy letter directed to me or an intimate letter to or from an ex…
What I was not expecting however, was a piece of paper to be the turning point of my life.
I thought that special moment was meant to be the wedding ceremony… but I was clearly mistaken.
This piece of paper... these words…I… I don't know what to make of them.
What I do know though, is that I need clarification and I needed this clarification before I end up at the end of the aisle, vowing my love and life to a woman, who may have manipulated our whole relationship.
"I'm NOT getting married. I'm NOT ready."
Bursting through the door was Nate and Brady.
"Hey, so are you rea-"
"WHERE IS SHE?"
"Who? Sienna? You know you ca-"
"WHERE IS SHE?"
"Dan, are you ok? You need to calm down man!"
"Yeah! Like Brady said calm down. Dude you're gonn-"
"SOMEBODY JUST TELL ME! WHERE ARE THE GIRLS? BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T THINK THERE'S GOING TO BE A WEDDING IF WHAT I JUST LEARNT IS THE TRUTH!"
So they told me. Not without confusing looks and pleading to calm down. But they told me.
Heading to the room where the girls were changing, I had enough common courteousy to acknowledge my presence by knocking on the door, despite my uncontrollable rage.
"Sienna, we need to talk!"
"Dan, what are you doing out there? We can't talk. We're getting married in less than an hour!"
Not if I have anything to say about that.
"Just open the door Sienna; this is a conversation that can't wait until after the ceremony!"
Serena, Vanessa, and Evangeline open the door and wore expressions that matched Brady and Nate's. With the seriousness plastered over my face though, the three women scattered double-time, leaving myself alone with Sienna.
In hindsight, Sienna looked immaculate.
She truly was… but I couldn't have cared less.
"How long?"
"Dan, are you ok?"
"Just answer the question! How long?"
"How long, what?"
"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MANIPULATING OUR RELATIONSHIP?!"
Here we are again
All alone
Standing here with you
Now I see Oh
We fought so hard
Now there's just one thing left to do
This is our good goodbye
Been coming around for sometime
We gotta let go of the the lies
We gotta move on with our lives
This is our good goodbye
But it's never a good goodbye
Here we are again
And we both don't want to face it
'Cause we know the end
Is standing at the door
We ran so far
Now there's just one thing left to do
This is our good goodbye
Been coming around for sometime
We gotta let go of the lies
We gotta move on with our lives
'Cause I know, I know
That we are both not meant to be together
I know, I know I guess I just love you more
This is our good goodbye
Been coming around for sometime
We gotta let go of the lies
So we can move on with our lives
This is our good goodbye
But it's never a good goodbye
So of course I had to end this chapter at this point!
* Our Adventure Book – note: I took the idea of the adventure book from the animated movie Up.