The matter of Ayden's accident is settled once and for all, though Jade has an unexpected reaction. She gets a little tough love from her friends, and Eric surprises himself. Eric's POV is added, and his timeline of events runs parallel to Jade's at the end.

Warnings: language, verbal abuse, sexual situation, angst, mentions of suicide

Enjoy!

-Emmy

Ashley is sitting at her desk when I get to my office. She looks up from organizing my schedule, taking note of my no-nonsense expression and sense of urgency. "Hey," she greets curiously. I'm going to get straight to the point...I need to see what's on this file, but my workload is heavy today. It'll have to wait until I can squeeze it in.

"Hey...when is my last meeting for the day?"

"It looks like….3:30 with Timothy, the Ambassador from Candor."

"About what?"

She taps the file on the screen, looking up. "He's coordinating a press release about the increasing factionless uprisings in the city and what Dauntless is doing about it. He needs a statement from you to print." I shake my head no.

"Cancel it. A meeting isn't necessary. Go over my notes from our last faction rotation report and write one. I'll review it, and once approved, send it."

"Okay…"

"Also...I am under no circumstance to be disturbed today, unless Max needs me. Anyone else will have to wait."

Ashley smirks for a second. "Even Eric?" She teases playfully, stopping when I don't laugh with her. "Especially Eric." She doesn't say anything, just types in my instruction. "Everything all right, Jade?" She finally asks in a cautious tone. I swallow the lump in my throat, heading into my office. "There's just something that needs my undivided attention, and I can't be distracted," I call over my shoulder.

Shutting the door, I hurriedly sit down at my desk. Plugging my phone to my computer, an icon pops up. Once I click on it, what looks like a video appears. I'm surprised, expecting a typed report. Just as I'm about to hit 'play', my anxiety level suddenly spikes. Staring at my computer screen, suddenly I'm not certain I should do this... I might be opening Pandora's Box. Sitting here second-guessing my decision, part of me wonders if I should just delete and forget it existed. Questions attack, as I wrestle with what to do.

Is ignorance really bliss? Do I really want to know what's on here?

What if Eric was behind it…what if he wasn't…

If he's innocent, what will that mean?

Just then, I jump as an e-mail pings through, giving a welcome distraction as well as a reminder that I have a job to do, and my personal life is going to have to wait. I'll watch it later, I reassure. Going about my day, I get my work done as quickly as possible while glancing at that little icon. It might hold the answer to everything, but I can't shake this bad feeling.

After completing my last task, I run out of excuses. Taking a deep breath, I brush my fingers over it, once more hesitating. Whatever is on this video can't be unseen…I shake my head with an irritable sigh, disgusted with myself.

"Just play the fucking thing," I snap out loud.

Pressing play, my heart begins to pound as the screen lights up. Surveillance footage from the train...this is from the day Ayden got hurt.

At first, it's just an empty car so I fast forward. Getting impatient, I finally stop when the guys board. Studying Ayden for a moment, I notice something is definitely off. He's stares forward, not really paying attention to the other guys. His eyes are glassy, his face holding a dead, blank look resembling a zombie. Otherwise, it's nothing suspicious. The guys are talking for a minute, then Ayden appears to say something. Logan reaches into his jacket, then Ayden starts to walk. But instead of stopping when he reaches him, what the guys said was true.

Ayden walks off the train, without anyone touching him...He did it on his own...

Tears well in my eyes as I squeeze them shut. Eric is innocent... He had nothing to do with it. No one pushed Ayden, threatened Ayden, nothing. He either wasn't paying attention and it really was an accident, or…guilt stabs me as I consider the alternative.

He purposely jumped.

This tape was recorded a few days after Ayden visited me at Dauntless, presumably when he discovered my affair with Eric. I didn't think Ayden would ever be the type to commit suicide, but the proof is right here. They guys were right; Ayden looks like he walked off the train on purpose.

"Oh," I begin to sob, guilt attacking me. Putting my hands over my face, I desperately try to wipe away the tears streaming down my cheeks. I broke Ayden's heart…if he did try to kill himself, this is my fault...all my fault...

Grateful my office door is closed, I silently let my tears go as grief takes over. I was so desperate to believe Eric was somehow behind this, when it was basically impossible. I let myself completely break with reality. I've been deluded this whole time, and so many people have suffered for it. Self-hatred and loathing start to burn through me, realizing how much damage has been done. All because of one ugly self-truth...

I'm just a pathetic…weak…whore.

Trying to gather my composure, another question suddenly arises. Eric had nothing to do with this, and I accused him of essentially trying to murder Ayden. He's had proof of his innocence this whole time...he could've settled this once and for all.

Why did Eric hide this from me?

Pondering that fact, a moving image catches my eye. The footage didn't end after the train accident. I roll my chair closer, leaning my arms on my desk. The camera has now cut to what looks like an old barn at nighttime. This was before his accident, as Ayden's face has just appeared on the screen. As I watch in confusion, Ayden stumbles down the hallway and almost falls into a door. He's obviously very, very drunk, barely able to stand. This must be where his quarters are.

Why is this included in the investigation?

Ayden tries unsuccessfully to open his door, looking up for a minute. My breath catches at his expression...tense, angry, evident pain in his eyes, at least to me. My eyes drop to the corner of the screen, where the recorded date is shown…

This is right after he found out.

Ayden props himself up on the doorframe. Rage masks his features, suddenly punching the door. Starting to feel sick, I decide I don't want to watch any longer. Just as I'm about to turn it off, Casey, a Dauntless guard, make her way down the hall. She stumbles into Ayden, whispering in his ear. As I watch in disbelief, Casey leans in and kisses him. Ayden stiffens in surprise. After a moment, he kisses her back. Casey takes his hand and leads him into a room, shutting the door.

Feeling like I'm in a trance, several other clips play...all of Ayden with other women. Some Amity, some Dauntless. All different times, all different women. He's drunk and looks angry in all of them. Finally, the video stops as I just stare blankly at the screen.

Trying to process my feelings, I'm strangely numb, not knowing if I have a right to be upset or angry. Quite frankly, I got what I deserve...None of this would've happened if I had just had the will and good sense to stay away from Eric. None of this would've happened if I hadn't pushed Eric's buttons, setting this in motion. Suddenly, a painful suspicion starts to snake its way through my mind.

Did Eric know Ayden would do this? Did he set him up to do it?

He works for me... I'm always aware of what goes on with my soldiers… You may think you know him, but you have no fucking clue…Eric's voice rings through my memory.

He's known this whole time...he's been laughing at me behind my back…he made a fool out of me.

Eric may not have had anything to do with Ayden's accident, but he sure as fuck was the reason Ayden was put in Amity in the first place. He set him up…he's been planning to humiliate me from the beginning. This must've been his plan; make me stupidly believe he ever cared about me, then drop this little bomb… That's the only reason he would have this…the only reason he would have it filmed…how many people has he watched this with, laughing at my expense?

I rest my head on the back of my chair, disgusted with myself. How could I have been so stupid? I told Eric that he would never make a fool of me again, and that's just what I let him do. I consider myself an intelligent woman, but for some reason, I do 'stupid' really well….

When the fuck will I ever learn?

Letting myself into my apartment, I'm still reeling from the day's events. After pulling a bottle of water out of my fridge I place both of my hands on the counter, staring blankly out the window. I just can't wrap my head around this... It feels like a fucking nightmare. I can't face Eric right now, not wanting a repeat of our fight.

The faint scent of cigarette smoke grazes me, as I whip my eyes to my balcony. My blood starts to boil all over again, my hands clenching into fists. After a moment the door slides back, Eric walking through it. Fury clouds my vision, but I force myself to remain calm while training a steely gaze through narrowed eyes. He tosses the butt over the side, starting toward me but stopping when he sees my expression.

"Why aren't you answering my texts," He demands with no preamble. I remain silent, gripping the counter so hard my knuckles turn white. Closing my eyes, I silently will myself to remain calm and not let him get the best of me... I will not give him the satisfaction of making me lose control again. Still facing away, my entire posture remains tense. Closing my eyes, I clench my teeth.

"Get out, Eric," I seethe.

He doesn't respond, as my pulse begins to race. "Why?" I don't answer him, inhaling and exhaling heavily. I'm practically shaking with rage, and it's taking all my self-control right now not to lose my shit. "Answer me, Jade…." I still say nothing.

"What is your fucking problem? What did I supposedly do now?" He demands. His boots thump on the tile, until they stop just behind me. He grips my elbow, turning me to face him. Wrenching my arm away, I once more nod toward the door.

"Are you fucking deaf as well as an asshole? Get…the fuck…out!"

I shove against his chest with all of my might. Eric stumbles back, shock and confusion evident on his face. He shakes his head, recovering and reaching for me again. Before I know it, my hands clench into fists as I raise them to strike. Eric stops dead in his tracks, both breathing hard as we stare each other down. Finally lowering my fist, I take a deep breath. Eric stays rooted in his spot, keeping a piercing glare on me.

"Jade…. what the fuck is the matter with you…. what is going on…" He utters lowly. Rage is simmering in every fiber of my being, flashbacks of our last horrible fight attacking me. Not eager to repeat that night, I need to calm down. Struggling to form the right words, I realize I won't be able to. Instead, I storm over to my kitchen table, snatching my phone. Holding the screen so he can see, I press play.

"This….is what the fuck is a matter..."

Eric's eyes slowly drop to the screen as it lights up. A heavy silence falls between us, my wrath continuing to grow. Eric's gaze is transfixed, his features beginning to harden. His eyes are filled with accusation and what seems to be cold anger, as he brings them up to mine.

"How did you get this," He demands, his brow creased. "This was…" Realization hits him as he inhales sharply. "There's only one file... only I had it…. There's only one place you could've gotten this." Placing my hands on my hips, I mentally prepare myself as he steps closer, his frigid stare practically freezing the entire room.

"You were snooping... You stole this," He rumbles. I toss my phone on my table in disgust.

"Never mind how I got it...that's hardly the fucking issue here Eric," I spit, crossing my arms. His face instantly sets into a hardened mask, as I see him mentally calculating. Taking a step towards him, my face twists in a furious snarl. Eric's icy demeanor remains intact as I level him with my glare.

"What is the issue here then, Jade?" He finally asks in an even voice.

His feigned innocence pisses me off even more. He's mocking me, and it only fuels my already burning rage. "I guess I should congratulate you on a job well done. Your plan finally came to fruition," I fume as he narrows his eyes in confusion. He shakes his head, his eyes roving over me as if the answer is somewhere on me, he just can't see it.

"What 'plan'? What the fuck are you talking about? You're acting even crazier than usual…"

My eyes flare in rage, no longer able to hold back. "You know something, Eric? Maybe instead of being angry, I should just be relieved... I mean, you finally got what you wanted, so I assume you no longer have any use for me and will finally just get the fuck out of my life!"

My heart is racing to the point I might actually pass out. Eric still says nothing, but a cold, analyzing look is starting to ice over. With a sarcastic chuckle, I just glare with open contempt.

"I can only imagine how much fucking fun you had with this...did you enjoy making a fool out of me?"

I swallow the lump in my throat as he steps closer but makes no move to touch me. I realize he's about to use one of his greatest strengths; intimidation. He used it on initiates during training, and it still has the same effect now, as it did then. I will not concede...

"I'm only going to ask you one more time. I obviously don't know what you're talking about, so use your words like a big girl, and for fuck's sake, tell me what the hell is going on…now," He commands in a deadly, low tone. I step closer, until our faces are mere inches apart. His eyes flick to my lips, but I ignore the clenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. Focus, I order myself sternly.

"What's going on, you piece of shit, is that you set this whole fucking thing up...you sent Ayden to Amity with the sole intent of ripping us apart, and you succeeded….and you were sick enough to have it filmed! Tell me, when exactly were you planning to humiliate me?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" Then it dawns on him. "Wait...you think I put him up to it?"

"Didn't you?"

The tension is thick enough to cut with a knife, as Eric shakes his head. "Let me get this straight...you find out your ex-fiancé, whom you were cheating on for months …was getting his dick wet every chance he got …found out by stealing a confidential file from me….and somehow I'm to blame for that?" He whispers incredulously.

Completely ignoring the sensibility of what he's saying, I press on. "This originated with you! It never would've happened had you not set out to destroy me! Well...congratu-fucking-lations, you've finally done it!" I scream desperately, cursing the tears springing to my eyes.

Eric seems to remember himself, immediately composing his face into a stoic mask. "You think I somehow managed to make him fuck any female hole that would have him, and he had no say in the matter? Does that about sum it up?" He waits for my answer, but I just glare.

"Jesus Christ, are you fucked in the head!" He finally roars.

"Oh, I'm fucked in the head? You've been secretly compiling this little gem-" I gesture toward my phone "-to use against me at a time of your choice, and I'm the one fucked in the head? Look in the fucking mirror!"

Angrily turning away, I wisely put some distance between us. Taking a deep breath, I again force myself to calm down. Turning back around, I look down for a minute, then back at him. "If you were truly innocent in all of this, you wouldn't have hid it from me...why do you even have this, Eric? When were you planning to use this little weapon of mass destruction?" I demand angrily.

Eric glowers as we face off, my heart rate spiking. We're both as angry as we were the night I left, and I don't want things to get out of control again. His hands clench at his sides, his jaw muscles jumping out.

"Not that I have to explain a Goddamn fucking thing to you, but let me remind you of a few imperative facts; I am a Dauntless leader, and he worked for me... this was an official investigation…a confidential investigation…and had nothing to do with you. His accident was considered suspicious. As you can see...Ayden may have had a few enemies in the form of scorned women that didn't take kindly to being used. All angles had to be covered. Why the fuck would I tell you that?" His eyes start to glitter dangerously as I come to a complete loss for words.

"There was no reason...it's none of your fucking business!" He snarls.

"None of my business! He was my fiancé, and I had a right to-"

Eric immediately cuts me off. "So sorry to shatter your narcissistic illusion of self-importance here, but you what you have a right to, is jack-fucking-shit when it comes to me doing my job, as hard as that may be to believe. How the council as a whole…not just me…decides to handle a matter within the faction, has fuck all to do with you... Council business is just that; council business, and none of yours!"

Eric takes a menacing step toward me as my heart practically stops beating in my chest.

"As for when I was 'planning to use this against you' …I wasn't. What happened was ruled an accident with possible suicide attempt, and the book was closed. It was over...there was no need for you to know…but you just couldn't leave well enough alone….don't blame me for seeing something you were never intended to..."

The temperature between us falls to sub-zero. "You're completely full of shit," I whisper, looking down. "You were planning to somehow use this against me…if not you would've told me…" A small voice in the back of my head is telling me to be reasonable, but I can't accept that he was innocent.

With a mirthless chuckle, Eric shakes his head disbelievingly. "You know what? Believe me or don't, I don't give a shit... It doesn't matter what I say here, nor do I owe you any explanations for anything. You've already made up your mind...there's no point. You aren't fucking worth it anyway...you want to believe that your precious Ayden is a fucking saint that can do no wrong, go ahead. But I will say this..."

He finally turns a furious eye on me, as I swallow thickly.

"Since you're so into the truth, let me give you a little bit of it about yourself: You're a crazy bitch that's completely deluded...you're immature, blind, and quite frankly, stupid... you play these asinine games, thinking the bullshit you pulled on boys, will work on grown men... Sorry you discovered it won't….no wonder Ayden got sick of your shit and started looking for pussy elsewhere..."

Eric and I stare each other down, and I refuse to look away. "Thank you," I whisper after a moment. "Thank you for finally dropping this whole bullshit act and reminding me of the kind of man you really are. I was right from the very beginning..." I curse the shakiness of my voice.

Eric leans in slightly, making my heart freeze. "And thank you, Jade...for reminding me of what a sanctimonious cunt you really are."

His words cut me like a knife, but I'm determined to not give him the satisfaction. Eric's eyes flicker as his jaw clenches. Looking me up and down with disdain, he silently shakes his head, clicking his tongue against his teeth. He turns and walks toward the door, stopping when he turns the handle.

"Remember Jade…you're the one who wanted it this way."

He silently stalks off, slamming the door behind him. I wait for a few more moments until certain he won't come back. Walking into my bedroom, I sit on the edge of my bed. As the numbness slowly starts to fade, the magnitude of what just happened hits me. Ayden is done with me, and now so is Eric. It's over... It's really over. Instead of feeling relief, I feel weighed down and tired.

I feel like I've lost everything.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Exhaling slowly in concentration, I pull the trigger...bullseye.

I turn back to the girls, all watching me. "So yeah, the mother fucker facilitated the whole thing, and was laughing at me behind my back the whole time," I growl. I start to reload, looking up to see them glancing at each other. I just told them about my fight with Eric, and I'm still a little on edge. We had some time to kill, so we came out to the range. Although as upset as I still am, I'm not sure I should have guns so easily accessible.

"Okay…hold on…back up at second," Samantha says. With a pensive expression, she puts her gun down and turns. "I just want to make sure I understand you correctly." She glances at Rachel, a silent message being passed between them. She clears her throat before continuing.

"You were going through Eric's shit and found this file…. copied it to your phone… found out that Ayden was fucking everything that moved…and got mad at…Eric?" She shakes her head in confusion. "Is there another part of the story you forgot to mention? I'm lost…."

My eyes narrow, picking up on the unspoken conversation between them, on which I'm not included. "He knew the whole time what Ayden was doing...he set him up to do it. It was his plan all along...that's why I'm pissed."

"That's why you're pissed," Ashley repeats, furrowing her brow. "Okay just to clarify…because Ayden was fucking around, you broke up with …Eric?" Her tone rubs me the wrong way as I cut my eyes sharply.

"He purposely set out to destroy me through Ayden, and I have every right to be upset….and I didn't 'break up' with Eric…we were never together."

All shake their heads disapprovingly. Glowering back, my irritation grows. "What?" I snap. Glancing at each other, finally Rachel speaks up. "Okay, I'm just going to say it. Please don't hate me, but I'm going to tell you my honest opinion here." She nervously brushes her hair behind her ear as I wait for her to continue.

"Jade… you're one of my best friends, and in any other situation, I'd have your back no matter what. But I'm sorry, I have to side with Eric on this...I really think you fucked up pretty bad," She admits sheepishly, and my jaw drops open.

"How did I fuck up?! He's the one that kept this from me and lied to me! How the fuck can you take his side?! He's completely wrong-"

Ashley cuts in. "What did he lie to you about? I'm confused as well…what exactly did Eric do wrong?" I snap my eyes to her, clenching my teeth angrily. "He knew what Ayden was doing. He was laughing at me, sitting back and enjoying watching my relationship crumble-"

"How do you know that's what he was doing?" Samantha cuts in, as my eyes whip to hers now.

"What?"

"How do you know he was laughing at you? Don't you think if this is something he'd have taunted you with, he'd have thrown it in your face the first chance he had? He didn't say a word, and you were none the wiser until you went snooping…finding something in a room you shouldn't have been in..."

I'm suddenly feeling very defensive, as what she says echoes that little voice. "I wasn't snooping... I was charging my phone and happened to see it in there. I admit that I shouldn't have taken it, but c'mon. Any of you would've done the exact same thing." They glance at each other again, as I feel myself getting more and more worked up. I raise my brow in challenge, but they aren't backing down.

"Jade," Leah starts, and I know to be on my guard. She has that look that says I'm-about-to-mind-fuck-you-with-my-Candor-bullshit. "I have a simple question. What are you mainly upset about? What's bothering you the most?" I throw my hands in the air in frustration.

"What the fuck do you think? Eric set Ayden up to do…what he did…he sent Ayden to Amity with the sole intent of coming between us, and it worked." I cross my arms and glare. An uneasy feeling is starting to settle in the pit of my stomach, as the more I say it out loud, my theory doesn't seem as solid as it did before.

Leah sighs, shaking her head. "See, that's what's interesting here, Jade... I would've thought you'd be most upset about Ayden cheating….do you even really give a shit that he was screwing around? I have to guess no, as you really haven't brought it up at all, and that should be the root issue here. Not Eric 'keeping it from you' or whatever you think his intentions were. In fact, it seems that Ayden has very little to do with this at all... The only thing you seem to be focused on is Eric, and what you think he should've done, or not done."

Rachel nods her head in agreement. "The way I see it, Eric did exactly what he should've …. which is nothing."

My eyes round in furious disbelief. "How can you say that?" I demand incredulously. Rachel squares her shoulders, visibly gathering her courage to continue. "You kept telling Eric that your relationship with Ayden was none of his business and to stay the fuck out of it...that's exactly what he did, and now you're pissed? It wasn't his place or responsibility to tell you...you're not making sense …." Leah nods, backing her up.

"Jade, something you have to ask yourself: If Eric had told you, would you have believed him? What do you think your reaction would've been?" Leah probes intently, as all of them turn expectant gazes on me. I open my mouth to retort, but nothing comes out. Leah nods, her eyes locked with mine as if reading my thoughts.

"Exactly...you would've called him a liar and wouldn't have believed him, even if he showed you that tape himself. You'd have made up some excuse as to why it wasn't real."

"Jade," Ashley begins gently, "While I agree that you have a right to be upset, you do realize your anger is a little misplaced here. Instead of being angry at Ayden for something he did of his own free will, you're somehow blaming Eric for it? How is Eric responsible for Ayden deciding to fuck anything that would fuck him at Amity?"

"Because Ayden never would've been at Amity if Eric hadn't set this whole fucking thing up! He wanted to tear us apart-"

Ashley puts her hand up to interrupt. "Jade, listen to yourself...again, you are completely glossing over that Ayden was fucking around, trying to make it Eric's fault someway, somehow. Why aren't you pissed at Ayden for what Ayden…not Eric…Ayden did?" She waits for my answer, but I can't give her one.

"You're projecting this on Eric because you still feel guilty..." She shrugs while turning up her palms. "Even if Eric had set it up…. doesn't really sound like he did, to be honest…. he didn't make him fuck anyone. Even if he knew what would happen by putting him in Amity…which you don't know for certain that he would… Ayden made that choice. That's on him, not Eric. So again, why are you mad at Eric, for Ayden cheating? I agree with Rachel. That doesn't really make sense…"

Samantha makes a small 'thank you' waving motion with her hand. "With all that being said Jade, let me just throw this out there as well; Eric is on the Dauntless council, and did not get there by letting his personal life interfere with his professional one. He may have had motivation for choosing Ayden to be deployed to Amity, but he's not going to risk his job for someone that keeps telling him 'we aren't a thing, we're just fucking'. That's not how guys like Eric operate…." I shake my head stubbornly.

"But Eric still should've told me-"

"Why? You wouldn't have believed him...what purpose would that have served him or you?" Rachel challenges.

I swallow the lump in my throat, refusing to acknowledge their sound arguments. Shaking my head furiously, I glare through narrowed eyes. "I cannot believe you guys," I hiss. "You're supposed to be my friends, and you're turning this around on me for whatever reason-" Samantha cuts me off mid-sentence.

"Jade… we are your friends…so please see that all we're trying to do is get you to pull your head out of your ass and stop getting in your own way..."

Gaping in stunned silence, I take a step toward her as she gulps. I'm pissed off and still holding my gun, so she's right to be nervous. I hastily put it down and face the four of them, placing my hands on my hips. "What the fuck does that even mean? How am I 'getting in my own way'? Enlighten me," I demand in a heated tone. All four of them avoid my eye, then Rachel takes a deep breath.

"We're not ganging up on you...we're just helping to provide some objective standpoints." Looking at me intently, she continues. "Jade, I've known you since we were little kids, and I've seen you do this exact same thing countless times, but I know it's for a different reason this one." My full attention is captured.

"What am I doing? What reason would that be?"

"Normally, when you got bored and just wanted out, you would find something, anything wrong with him, no matter how trivial. You used it as an excuse to end things... but that's not your reason with Eric."

"I admit I may have done that in the past, but that's not what I'm doing here-"

"Yes, it is Jade. But now you aren't doing it because you're bored...this time you're doing it because you're scared."

"Scared? Scared of what?" I demand indignantly.

Rachel takes a sip of water, pointing the tip of the bottle while pursing her lips in a grim smile. "You are so freaked out at the thought of commitment, you are subconsciously bound and determined to sabotage it. But it won't be that easy for you this time, because you, my love, have finally met your match and you know it…even if you're too stubborn to admit it."

I scoff, quickly looking away. "That's completely insane," I mutter. Even though the spring day is fairly cool, I suddenly feel hot and clammy as I take a swig of water. "Eric and I are far from being a match. We can't go ten minutes without arguing..." Leah smirks wryly.

"You can't go ten minutes without fucking, either. Like it or not, Jade, you and Eric are a pair. You just don't want to admit it, but it's the truth. But if you don't fix this, it won't matter."

My pulse races, desperately trying to think of a plausible rebuttal. Leah's words finally break through some barrier in me, as tears well in my eyes as I finally admit defeat. All four of their faces immediately soften, taking their places by my side. "Fuck," I whisper, rubbing my forehead. They're right, all them... even if Eric had set up Ayden, it was ultimately Ayden that made that choice. This wasn't Eric's fault, as desperate as I was for it to be. Rachel was right...

I fucked up, and fucked up badly.

Samantha puts her hand on my shoulder. "Look Jade...ultimately, this is your life and your choice. We aren't going to get on your case about it...but the bottom line is this." She turns a serious eye on me, as I gaze back bleakly.

"If whatever you have with him is worth saving, it's on you to make it right. If Eric matters to you, fix it... if he doesn't, then don't. But make a decision, before it's too late and you no longer have options."

Later that night, I stare at my phone while sitting on my bed. It's late, and I have to work tomorrow, but there's no point in trying to sleep…I've been tossing and turning since the night Eric and I had our fight.

The fight that was my fault.

Curling my knees to my chest, a nervous vibe begins to hum through my body as my hands shake. Why is this so hard? I've been trying to muster up the nerve to just call Eric and apologize, but I can't seem to do it. Partially because my head is telling me that this is for the best, that no good can come of this, and to be smart and just get out while I can.

My heart, however, is scared that it no longer matters, and Eric will crush it into a million pieces by rejecting me. He can only hurt me if I let him...but I won't know unless I at least try…

Shaking my head in disgust, I snatch my phone. "Stop being a pussy and call him. Just pick it up and do it…" I mutter, dialing Eric's code before I can stop myself. It rings for a moment, then a strange sound chirps in my ear. My heart sinks, realizing what that particular sound means.

It means the code can't receive a signal, or you've been blocked from dialing it.

Completely numb, I just stare at the ceiling. I guess I have my answer...this isn't fixable, and whatever Eric and I were, is over now. I force myself to go through the motions of getting ready for bed, changing and brushing my teeth. Once I slip under the covers, I feel his absence beside me with a physical ache.

When I stretch my arm out, running my hand on the space I used to think of as his side of the bed, I finally break. Deep sobs wrack my entire body as tears stain the pillow under me. Even though we're done with each other...and he was never really mine to begin with...it doesn't hurt any less than a real break up. It looks like Samantha was right...

It's too late, and I no longer have options.

ERIC

Eric stalks back to the Dauntless headquarters, pissed off and tired from an already long day. Several scurry out of his way as he passes, not wanting to be caught up in his famous temper. He gets to his office and doesn't bother to acknowledge anyone, as they tactfully ignore him as well...it's obvious that the wrong person is going to set him off any minute. He turns on his computer and looks over his schedule, relieved to see he has no more meetings. He closes his eyes as yawns attack him. He hasn't been sleeping well lately, and it only worsens his already foul mood.

He can't sleep, because Jade hasn't been in his bed.

He hasn't seen Jade since he left her apartment. Not at the food hall, not out in the complex or the Dauntless sector of the city, nowhere. She's made herself very scarce, pissing him off more. Even though that isn't what he wants, he refuses to be the one chasing her this time.

She's the one that fucked up. It's on her to fix it….if she even will.

Eric swears under his breath as he takes a sip of water, thinking back to the other night. He knows he went too far, and definitely said things he didn't mean, but this didn't work out the way he thought it would. He didn't think she'd be completely fucking delusional, actually blaming him.

Foul play was initially suspected in Ayden's accident. Since it happened at Amity, a source of recent factionless attacks, all security data from around their compound had been pulled. At first it was the boring and ordinary surveillance, not worth his attention. There was no way Ayden's 'accident' could be traced back to him, so he wasn't concerned. But Eric is not one to gamble with his career, and he wanted to make sure all his bases were covered.

Though satisfied that there was no trace of evidence against him, he still mentally went over any possible link. He decided to pull the footage from the day he'd seen Ayden, to make sure his little visit couldn't be construed as malicious in some form. That's when it hit him...

The Dauntless council had decreed that since Amity had been under constant assault from the factionless, security cameras would be installed all over in every quarter, every barn, etc. The day he caught Ayden fucking that little slut was probably recorded. Eric had scrolled back to that day, an evil smile breaking over his face as his suspicions were confirmed. However, he then found himself with a dilemma.

He didn't want Jade to know he'd visited Ayden right before the accident, as she'd be even more convinced he was behind it. Though Eric is not innocent in this case, he still didn't want Jade to have even a shred of evidence to go off of. He'd pondered his options, when he realized that probably wasn't the first time Ayden had strayed.

Eric had to shake his head. When he had Ayden assigned to Amity Detail, his sole intention was only to put distance between him and Jade. He needed them apart in order to work on getting Jade to where he needed her. When Ayden started fucking everything in Amity, as well as the female Dauntless guards, it was just a convenient and unexpected addition. That's the one thing on which he can claim complete innocence.

It's not Eric's fault the guy is a moron...he had Jade Crawford, and thought he could do better? Idiot...

When he scrolled the tapes from outside Ayden's quarters and saw just how many other women there actually were, it was like a prime opportunity had fallen into his lap. He needed Jade to find out, but not from him. She needed to see for herself that she could do better, that ending it was the right choice. He'd decided to compile the tapes into one, while editing his visit. He left the drive in his apartment, knowing Jade would find it eventually.

Jesus Christ, it certainly took her long enough, He thinks with annoyance.

He should've known, though. Jade is too fucking blind, and still too guilty over what happened to Ayden to accept the truth...she'll never accept that she belongs with him. She'll use any excuse she can think of, to convince herself of bullshit she's desperate to believe. He sees now what Jeanine meant, when she said human nature is the flaw of mankind...he let himself be ruled by his emotions. Eric has tried to open her eyes, and his effort has been for naught.

But…he's in this too deep to get out.

Even if he did truly want to cut Jade loose, Jeanine would never let him. Jade is too valuable to not follow through with their initial plan, even if his agenda has changed. But perhaps he should remember his business deal with Jeanine and should treat Jade as such. His eyes narrow as his stomach sinks. If he abandons her, she'll be left to Jeanine's machinations. Eric won't let that happen...as much as he hates it, Jade is too valuable to Eric himself.

He may have had different intentions at first, but the game has changed now. Whether he likes it or not, he knows he'll never find a better match. He needs her as much as he wants her, and there's no way around it.

Just like she can't escape him, he'll never really be free of Jade either.

Eric glances at his desk drawer, deciding against his better judgment to open it. He pulls out the new photo he now keeps of Jade, holding it carefully by the edges. When he was scrolling through the data on her phone one day, he found a picture Leah had taken out in the city. In it, she's wearing one of Leah's dresses as she gets ready to make a meeting at the Hub. She's smiling over her shoulder, her long blonde hair falling in glimmering layers.

His eye lingers on the graceful curve of her hips, traveling down the impossibly long length of her toned legs. Eric blood heats as his cock twitches in response. It's been days since those legs have been wrapped around him or tangled in his sheets...the ache of Jade's absence is felt in almost every part of his body.

His frustration and longing get the best of him as he violently swings his arm, knocking it and several other things off his desk. Two assistants passing by hear the clatter and stop outside his door, but don't dare enter. Noticing his dark glower, they silently turn and leave. Eric exhales slowly, willing himself to calm down as a knock sounds on his door. Sebastian walks in, greeting him with a nod while noticing Eric's expression.

"What's up with you, man?" He asks, raising his brow while setting a report on Eric's desk. He sits in a chair across from him, lighting up a cigarette. Eric pulls out one and lights up as well. "Nothing, I'm just tired." Sebastian nods. "Something happen with Jade?" He asks cautiously after a heavy pause, leaning back in his chair.

Eric looks away for a moment. Since he and Sebastian are friends, Sebastian is one of the few people that can get away with this question about his personal life. Eric shakes his head, staring past him at the wall. "You could say that." Knitting his palms over his stomach, Sebastian smirks casually.

"What exactly is Jade to you?"

"In terms of what?"

"I know you're fucking her, but she's obviously more than just that."

Eric shakes his head angrily as he puffs on his cigarette. He leans back in his chair, biting his lower lip as he exhales with a deep breath. "At this present point in time," He growls in a low tone through clenched teeth, "She's a psychotic bitch that's making me doubt if she's worth all this bullshit." He jams his cigarette in the ashtray and pushes it away from him.

Sebastian shakes his head. "What exactly happened? Why are you so pissed at her?" Eric shrugs, then tells him about their fight. Sebastian listens, creasing his forehead in confusion as his eyes shift to the side.

"Hold on... she found out Sawyer was nailing every piece of strange from here to Amity, and she's pissed at…you? Why? I'm confused…"

Eric's temper erupts, throwing his hands in the air. "Because she's a crazy fucking bitch, that's why!" He practically yells, making Sebastian's eyes widen in shock. He and Eric have been friends for years now, and he's never once seen Eric lose his cool...especially not over a woman. Sebastian thinks for a moment, but wisely chooses not to say anything, knowing Eric doesn't want to talk about this right now.

Eric is like him, and when he gets pissed off, there's only three ways to relieve it. Luckily, they're in Dauntless and those options, one in particular, are available at any time and especially to Dauntless councilmen…and councilwomen…if they so choose. Sebastian suddenly gets an idea, thinking of one particular face.

"Want to go for a drink tonight?" He asks, and Eric shrugs.

"Might as well, got nothing better to do," He mutters.

Sebastian nods as he stands. "I'll be back in an hour…but let's not go to the Pit, let's go to the lounge." Eric waves him off, not really paying attention.

After the work day is over, they grab a quick bite, then make their way up a few floors to the sectioned off bar reserved for the upper tier. The same pretty brunette is behind the bar of the nearly empty lounge, looking up with a smile. "Hey you," She giggles as Sebastian leans over, giving her a quick peck. "Hadn't seen you around much," She coos, giving a flirtatious wink. He gives her a leering grin, placing both hands on the bar.

"Yeah, I know…been busy...if you know what I mean."

Pursing her lips, she pulls out a tumbler and fills it with ice, equally blending a bourbon and water. "Well, when you stop 'being busy' you know where to find me," She giggles, sliding it toward him. Sebastian smirks, taking a sip. "Will do." She turns to Eric, as he pulls a cigarette from his pocket.

"Whisky…neat, right?" She calls. Eric nods, sitting on the stool. He finds himself checking his phone for the hundredth time, willing himself not to type in Jade's code. Just then he gets a beep, the distinct sound of the council alert. He doesn't look up as she pours his drink, engrossed in his message. As she moves to the other side Sebastian follows her, motioning for her to come closer. She leans in as he makes sure Eric isn't paying attention before continuing.

"I need to ask a favor..."

"Sure thing…what do you need…"

"Nothing for me, but maybe for him."

Sebastian nods toward Eric, her eyes growing wide as she glances in his direction.

"Oh…Sebastian, I don't know about that…"

"Why not?"

"He's with Jade Crawford, right? That's someone I don't really want to piss off…nor would any other non-suicidal person in their right mind…"

Sebastian moves closer. "Oh, c'mon Angie," He coaxes, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "You've never had a problem with discretion before. Besides, I don't even know if they're still a thing. Little trouble in paradise, and he could use a 'distraction'…there's no better person I can think of to provide that then you….do it for me?" She sighs, giving a wry smile.

"You're lucky you're one of my favorites. I'll see what I can do."

"Knew I could count on you, sweetness."

Sebastian winks as he makes his way back to Eric, sipping his whiskey with a brooding expression. He looks from her, back to Sebastian while raising his brow. "Friend of yours?" He asks in a smug tone, though he doesn't need to. Sebastian nods with a smirk. "You could say that." Eric glances at her again.

"She looks familiar, but I can't place her…"

"She was in our Initiation class."

"I don't remember her…"

"She's Dauntless-born, so you didn't train with her. She didn't pass Initiation…. couldn't make it through her fear landscape."

"Then how the Hell is she...oh…"

It suddenly dawns on him. "She's a Reserve," Eric says slowly, as Sebastian nods in confirmation.

When Max took over Dauntless, he established a new level in the Dauntless hierarchy, the Reserves being the lowest. Whenever an Initiate fails the final test, they aren't automatically dismissed from the faction. Max and the council determine whether or not they could still be 'useful'…normally the very attractive women and men are offered this very last chance to not be factionless. They have a choice; accept that they are expected to be indebted to Max and the council for keeping them from becoming destitute, or they could leave. Unspoken 'favors' are usually expected of them, and discretion is key.

They work the odd jobs around Dauntless, such as waitresses, bar backs, dining room clean-up, etc. They live in a separate building not connected by the old subway system, rarely seen in the compound outside of working hours. They're afforded dining privileges, and allowed in the compound, but everyone knows what they are so they make themselves scarce.

They barely make anything in credits, but the lucky ones favored by certain leaders find themselves well taken care of…as long as they always make themselves available and keep their mouths shut. They usually do, knowing they could be dismissed at any time.

Sebastian and Eric drink and bullshit for a little while, and it starts to get a little late. Sebastian checks his watch as he finishes his drink.

"I'm going to head out….

"Already?"

"I'm meeting Rachel at her place."

"That's a thing now? Since when?"

Sebastian takes one last swig of his bourbon, setting the glass beside him. "Since the night you assigned me to her, when Jade left." Eric smirks, though he doesn't like to think of that night. "You're welcome." Sebastian chuckles as he picks up his jacket. He glances toward the pretty brunette, whom nods in understanding. "I'll see you tomorrow."

After he leaves, she approaches Eric again, gesturing toward his glass. "Another?" Eric shakes his head, deciding to head out in a little while himself. When she starts wiping down the bar, Eric watches her for a moment. She's petite, with long, dark, almost-black hair. She's olive skinned, with big brown eyes. A sexy snake tattoo winds around her rib cage, visible through her black crop top. He shrugs...she's hot, but he's not interested.

She places both hands in front of her, staring for a moment. "Sure I can't get you anything else? Seems like you could use a something to take the edge off...that happens to be my specialty." She drops her gaze, but Eric is only half-listening. "I'll stick with the whiskey," He responds curtly, still scrolling through his phone.

"That's not exactly what I meant." She crosses her forearms, leaning on the bar. Eric finally looks up to find her mere inches away, giving him a coy smile. Eric flicks his eyes over her face, her meaning not lost on him. Though they've barely said two words to each other the whole night, her offer is crystal clear.

"What I meant," She purrs in a low voice, "is that I'm excellent at making one forget their troubles…but not always by pouring drinks." With her eyes never leaving his, she reaches for a bar napkin, pulling out a pen. She writes on it quickly, then slips it his way. Eric glances down. South building #1289B. He brings his eyes back to hers as she bites her lip.

"Just in case you could use a little...amnesia... for the night."

Eric stares at the napkin, an unfamiliar feeling coming over him. He doesn't know why he's hesitating...Jade has made herself crystal clear they are not a couple. All of his effort thus far has been for nothing…Jade doesn't see what's right in front of her...she never will. He's letting her get to him, becoming someone he hates.

He needs this distraction. It'll remind him to keep his head in the game, and what needs to happen. He needs some perspective, a way to regain some control. He can't let Jade fuck with his head anymore...she keeps talking about the hold he has on her, but hers on him is just as strong, and Eric needs a way to combat it.

Screwing this little slut just might break the spell…even if he doesn't want her.

Eric takes another puff of his cigarette, letting the smoke billow around them as he silently debates what he should do. If Jade finds out about this, he doesn't really know how she'll react…she might be angry, she might feel betrayed, she might even be hurt… but should he even care? You already do, a voice whispers in his head. Eric shakes his head vehemently, trying to silence it. Jade made her choice…now he needs to make his with a clear head. He doesn't even want this bitch, and needs to decide if it's worth what may happen.

Whatever choice he makes, there will be no going back either way.

She doesn't say anything after he doesn't answer for a while, cutting her eyes away as she turns. She glances over her shoulder, as Eric still says nothing. Finally, he tosses the rest of his whiskey back and stands.

"When do you get out of here?"