Forbidden Love

Using all of his strength, Harry apparated off of the school grounds- After burning his copy of Hogwarts, A History, he found that the enchantments barring wizards and witches alike from apparating to and from Hogwarts had lifted.

Taking out the pocket sneakoscope he had packed in his rucksack, he asked it the question that he wanted the answer to most.

"What did I eat for lunch?" Harry asked it, a tear glistening in his eye and his stomach growling.

The sneakoscope began to whir loudly, indicating that Harry had eaten nothing at all. Worried, he pulled Crookshanks out of the bag, and ruthlessly tore off the poor cat's limbs.

After he had had his fill of Kneazle, Harry giggled and wiped the blood off the corners of his smiling mouth.

"That hit the spot," he said to everyone and no one at the same time.

Setting off on his noble quest once again, Harry soon met a fork in the road. Consulting his deluminator, he took the left fork and followed the orb of light onward. Finally, he reached a clearing, which a little stream was running through.

Glaring at the gently flowing stream, Harry barked, "You asshole," and used his favorite spell, Finite Incantatem, to make the stream disappear. Instead of disappearing, Harry was confronted with the last spells he had used that day, some of which were quite nasty.

The grey, ghostly form of Pansy Parkinson slid out of the tip of his wand, swearing loudly at him in Gobbledygook, which was her first language.

After about five minutes of this, the nastiest spell of all came spiraling out of the tip of his wand. It was the Engorgio that he had secretly cast on Ron's left eyebrow before departing from the common room, which had made him look like a troll. Cringing, Harry snapped his wand in two.

"Damn, now I'll probably have to rely on the items that I packed in my rucksack!" Harry said aloud, kicking himself in the shins. But this action didn't hurt him at all, because everybody knows that you use less force when inflicting pain upon yourself.

Deciding to settle down in the clearing, Harry prepared to spend his first night under the bedspread that he had packed for himself.

Lying on the soggy leaves, Harry pondered to himself, trying to figure out where he was.

Finally, it came to him. Bingo- the Forbidden Forest!

Harry walked over to his rucksack, and pulled out Hedwig's cage. He had forgotten that Hedwig had died weeks ago, and set up her cage a lookout, oblivious to the fact that it was empty.

That night, Harry slept a restless sleep. Every ten minutes he was awakened by the sound of what he took to be Hedwig's rustling wings, trying to warn him of danger.

"What a pussy,"Harry thought to himself. His owl had always been frightened of little things, like Voldemort, death, and pain.

After a while, the rustling was getting more and more persistent, so Harry stood up and trooped his way over to the cage. Upon seeing that it was empty, Harry screeched and cried in despair.

"What have you done with my owl?" he called to the open air, knowing that the fiend couldn't be far away, "My parents! He betrayed them! He was their friend, and he betrayed them!"

"Silence," said a quiet voice from the shadows.

Startled, Harry turned around, and was face to face with Moran the centaur.

"Wassat?" Harry asked, mortified.

"My name is Bane," Moran began, chuckling to himself.

Harry, catching on to the joke, grinned and said, "Well then, I'm James!"

The centaur, delighted that Harry was joining in, wheezed, "I'm Ronan!"

"Lily!" Harry laughed openly now, completely at ease.

"Silence," the centaur repeated, glaring at him. He had killed the joke almost as quickly as he had started it, "What are you doing in my clearing?"

"Just hangin' around," lied Harry, casually. He nonchalantly pinned Percy's prefect badge to his chest, hoping the centaur would notice its gleam.

The centaur gazed at Pluto, and said, "The stars tell me you're lying."

Just then, another centaur appeared, "Pluto looks bright tonight…"

"That's because this boy's lying," Moran sneered, shooting a disgusted glance at Harry.

"Okay, okay. I ran away. I killed a girl and had to flee the country. And fine, I'm just wearing this badge to impress you!" Harry began to shake with silent sobs.

"Pluto has considerably darkened. You must be telling the truth," the centaur said thoughtfully, scratching his head with his hind-hoof.

Soon after this dark encounter, Harry and Moran the centaur became friends.

One evening, not long after they had met, the two made love under the stars.