And here it is. The final chapter of Unusual Absence. This fic sure was a rollercoaster ride, wasn't it?
Just so you guys know, I spent nearly two weeks typing this thing. I started it on the 18th and just finished it today. It has been quite the experience, let me tell ya. This thing amounts to over 5000 words. Don't say I never spoiled you rotten.
Disclaimer: Cookie doesn't own Durarara or its characters.
Me: I'll never have to say that ever again. HALLELUJAH.
Unusual Absence
Izaya sat there in his apartment, thinking about all the shit that's been going down. Wasn't it just a few years ago that he woke up every day, feeling like he could take on the world? Why did that seem like such a difficult task now? He knew the answer, but he didn't want to admit it. Orihara Izaya had gone soft.
Putting his hand beneath his shirt and feeling the rough scar that was manifested there, Izaya groaned loudly. He'd gone from being the puppet master of Ikebukuro to post-partum mother in a year and a half. Was this what they called "karma"? Did he really deserve all this bullshit?
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the familiar tone of his cell phone. Fishing it out of his pocket, he saw a number he didn't recognize.
"Orihara speaking."
"'Sup, faggot." The grimy voice came.
He could tell it was an American immediately, "Who are you? How did you get this number?"
A disturbing cackle, "How's your devil spawn doing? Oh that's right, it died, like the vermin it was."
"Do you know who you are talking to? You must have the wrong person." Izaya said with confidence, but there was a sinking feeling in his stomach.
"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't try to play dumb you fag, we know everything."
The informant desperately tried to keep a joking demeanor, "Alright I admit I left the oven on yesterday, can I go now?" Certainly whoever this guy was, was bluffing his ass off.
"Why don't you tell me how long you've been Heiwajima's fuck buddy? Shiki is just dying to know." Another chilling laugh.
Finally, the brunet was at an utter loss for words and chose to remain silent.
"Let this be a warning to you, you sniveling little cocksucker. We've been ordered to take you out, and figured we'd give you a heads up. See you around, fucking homo."
And then the line went dead. The sound of the dial tone has never been more terrifying than it was at that moment.
"So what you're telling me is, these dreams that Izaya and I have been having are glimpses into alternate universes where the kid dies, but at an older age." The blond said slowly, still trying to understand.
"Basically."
Shizuo ground his teeth, "Shit still makes no sense."
Shinra adjusted his glasses and chuckled, "I don't think I'm able to make it any simpler for you, Shizuo."
"It's all that fucking louse's fault."
The doctor smiled in amusement, "Oh yeah, and how'd you figure that?"
He scoffed, "All the ways that man has royally fucked up my life, he deserves the most gruesome death possible." He cracked his knuckles, "And one day, I'm gonna be the one to give it to him."
"C'mon Shizuo, you're still gonna say that after everything you two have been through together?" Shinra asked, rolling his eyes knowingly.
At that moment, Celty walked in rather briskly and showed a message to her partner, [Izaya is here to see you. He's a little stressed out.]
She stepped back cautiously and let Izaya in the room. The poor thing looked like he'd just seen a ghost. Seeing this, Shizuo didn't know what was scarier: Izaya's expression or whatever made him that worried. Everybody knew that Orihara Izaya was not scared easily.
"Izaya, my god, what's wrong?" The brunet scientist spoke with concern.
Ignoring his friend completely, Izaya made a lunge at Shizuo and grabbed onto the lapels of his vest, "Who did you tell?" he hissed.
"Excuse me?"
He let go, "Everyone here are the only ones that know about the pregnancy ordeal. Someone in here had to have told somebody!"
Shinra stood up in defiance, "Izaya, why would anyone say anything? What are you going on about?"
"They know." The informant gripped tightly onto the back of the couch.
[Who?]
"The Yakuza. They know everything." He then repeated the phone call, "'How's your devil spawn doing? Oh that's right, it died, like the vermin it was.' 'Why don't you tell me how long you've been Heiwajima's fuck buddy?' 'Let this be a warning to you, you sniveling little cocksucker.' That's what they said. I've got a giant ass target on my back now."
Shinra gaped, at a loss for words just like Izaya was, "Well uh… what are you going to do?"
"I was hoping that the protozoan would be so kind as to let me back in his apartment for a while." Izaya suggested lightly.
"Nope."
"Shizuo, Izaya is in grave danger. That doesn't worry you at all?" The doctor was shocked this time.
The bodyguard shook his head, "Not one bit."
Four days had gone by since Shizuo refused to let Izaya stay at his apartment. It was hell living with the flea the first time, why would he do it again? Now he didn't know too much about the yakuza and what all they do, but in the worst case scenario, Shizuo figured he could beat up a few guys on behalf of the louse.
The day was really uneventful so far. All of Tom's clients for the day had their money ready to pay, giving little work for Shizuo to have to do. The only unique thing that happened was that Kasuka called and they had a nice, albeit brief conversation. The blond was just sitting around watching television when his doorbell rang. Groaning at having to get up, he made his way to the door and opened it.
The sound of fast-paced footsteps down the stairs met his ears. Out of instinct, Shizuo ran after them. He got down 2 flights of stairs and stopped at the 4th floor, looking over the railing to try to find some sort of van or other incriminating vehicle. Unfortunately, onyx eyes met a more unnerving sight instead.
Sprawled out, lying face down on the pavement in a pool of blood, was Izaya.
Eyes widening, Shizuo sprinted down the stairs faster than he's ever run in his life. Shit shit shit shit shit shit how could I be so fucking stupid?
Once he made it all the way down, the blond knelt beside the smaller man and rolled him on his back. His face was nearly unrecognizable from the heavy bruising, dried blood and semen that were coated on his chin and forehead. Shizuo bit his lip in guilt as he further surveyed the damage. He held up Izaya's left hand and was horrified at seeing all 5 fingers twisted or distorted in some way, and the right hand just as sickening. The image of Izaya screaming in pain as his fingers were broken one by one flashed through his mind, making him nauseous. Blood stains and cuts in the fabric scattered all over the black V-neck the brunet always wore. Then Shizuo noticed a dark stain on the seat of the man's pants. Wearily, he slid Izaya's pants down to his knees—the second he did, the overwhelming stench of sweat and sex hit him. The informant's anus was still bleeding, the red mixing with the white, which was caked on his inner thighs. As Shizuo covered Izaya's backside up again, he sighed in defeat and shame.
His eyes caught the sight of a small piece of paper that had been partially stained with blood. Picking it up, he managed to translate the English-written note:
"I hope you like necrophilia, cocksucker."
Shizuo crumpled the note up in anger and chucked it out of his sight. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. For once, he couldn't blame the flea for this. This time, it was all his fault.
Having no car meant there was no choice but to carry Izaya roughly 32 blocks to Shinra's house. The ragged breathing at least gave Shizuo the comfort of knowing Izaya was still alive.
"He had several fractures, including: all 10 of his fingers, two ribs, nose, and his left ankle. There was excessive tearing in his rectum, and also we had to pump his stomach." Shinra listed off of his clipboard gravely.
"Why?"
"You don't want to know."
The blond growled, "Tell me anyway."
"Because…" Shinra started with a sigh, "there was too much semen in his stomach and it couldn't be digested."
Hearing all of these things just makes Shizuo even angrier. Izaya was a flea, yes, but there was no way he deserved something like this. Then he remembered what he told Shinra the other day.
"… he deserves the most gruesome death possible. And one day, I'm gonna be the one to give it to him."
"So will he live?" Shizuo asked, trying to get his own words out of his head.
"Miraculously, yes. Because of the massive 12-hour surgery I did, almost everything will make a full recovery." The doctor said, flipping through pages on the clipboard.
"Almost?"
"The only thing that will leave scars is the engraving on his arm." Shinra pulled out a picture and showed it to him. Jagged cuts were made on Izaya's inner forearm, which spelled out 'FAG'.
Clenching his fists, Shizuo was fuming, "Can I see him?"
Shinra nodded and let him into the room. Shizuo sat down in the chair next to the bed and watched the brunet's chest as it moved up and down. Hesitantly grasping Izaya's relaxed hand, he had a flashback of Izaya lying in the very same bed, sweating profusely, and squeezing his hand every other minute. Somehow, Shizuo felt he would rather have that scenario than the one he's in right now. He rubbed a calloused thumb over the rough scratches on the fragile hand.
"This wasn't supposed to happen. I shouldn't have let them do this to you, but I did anyway." He spoke out loud, knowing full well no one was listening, "How will I ever forgive myself for this? You could've been killed."
"Like you wouldn't do the same thing."
Steel eyes darted over and met with hazy garnet ones, "Izaya, you're—"
His sentence was cut off by Izaya coughing harshly, "I know, I look like shit. I feel like it too."
"I'm sorry."
Izaya sent a glare in his direction, "Really? You're going to apologize now? Don't even worry about it."
There was a small silence between the two before Shizuo had to say something, "So how do you feel?"
"Does your job include giving a damn about me?" He snapped back.
Shizuo shrugged in retaliation, "I was just trying to be nice, but if you want to be a little bitch about it, that's your problem."
Izaya paused for a moment to think and then sighed, "It kinda feels like I just had a fight with you on an off day. I'm used to everything in my body hurting all at once." He shifted a bit to sit up, "Although I could do without the throbbing in my ass. But it isn't nearly as bad as the morning after our 'thing'. Those bastards were like toddlers compared to you, in size and performance."
The blond rolled his eyes. Only Izaya would get beaten within an inch of his life then be awake and talkative just hours later. Almost reminding Shizuo of himself.
"Though now that I think about it," the informant frowned, "I really can't wait until all of my skin is the same color again, especially my fingers."
Shizuo chuckled but stopped when he looked at said fingers, no two looked like they were normal in the slightest. And he doubted they would ever look completely normal again.
Despite the fact that Izaya acted like he was fine, his body was saying otherwise. Shinra estimated that it would take at least 4 weeks for him to recover enough to leave. Shizuo did try to make it a habit to visit the flea every few days.
One day in particular, Shizuo was visiting with Izaya, whose bruises had mostly faded away by now, and brought up something that wasn't typical conversation.
"You seem happier today." The bodyguard remarked as he twiddled his thumbs.
Izaya nodded, "Yeah, the drugs Shinra put me on are definitely working."
The strong man gave a tiny sly smirk, "I saw you smile when I got here today, as well as yesterday."
"I wasn't smiling. I was thinking of a funny joke." The brunet defended himself.
"Both days?" A blond eyebrow rose in amusement
"They cheer me up."
Shizuo leaned over, putting his elbows on his knees, "Admit it, you care about me."
There was silence, and then Izaya burst into a fit of laughter, "I care about you? Why would I love a monster like you?"
"I never said 'love'." He pointed out, chuckling himself.
Izaya doesn't reply, instead he changes the subject. The blond feels like this is another win for him, discovering a way to have a little fun with his enemy. The slight blush that crept on those pale cheeks, knowing he was caught, that was a victory for Shizuo.
After that day, Shizuo tried often to get that same reaction. More often than not, he would succeed, making him want to tease even more. Every day would consist of a bit of teasing here and there, and Shizuo honestly saw no harm in it whatsoever. It wasn't until almost a week later that Izaya lost it.
Shinra let the blond into the house and saw as Shizuo took notice of the door to Izaya's room being closed, rather than open.
"Izaya told me that he doesn't want to you to visit today." He said lightly, a bit uneasy as to what reaction might occur.
Onyx eyes narrowed behind blue shades, "Did he now? Well we'll just see about that."
Before the doctor could stop him, Shizuo barged into the room anyway. The brunet turned around with a look of surprise, which was quickly replaced with anger.
"I don't want to see you today." He huffed.
"Bullshit." Shizuo scoffed, kicking the door closed and locking it, so they could be alone to talk, "Why didn't you want to me to visit today? You've had no problem with it up until now."
"Why do you even care?"
The bodyguard sat in his chair like usual, "Because I have emotions, unlike you."
"It's not that I don't have emotions, I just don't use them." Izaya shrugged, "Although I do love humans."
"I wish you'd stop saying that." The stronger man mumbled.
"Why, because people hate me? Do you think I don't know that? I got gangbanged and nearly killed two weeks ago—why is that so easy for you to forget?" The informant spat in retaliation.
Shizuo stood up in frustration, "It's not! I won't ever forget what happened to you that night. From now on, I promise I'll protect you."
Izaya nearly doubled over in laughter, "You're gonna protect me now?" His face got serious, "I guess that makes sense, seeing as how you took such good care of me while I was knocked up. Like when you came to my apartment, called me a slut who sleeps with clients, and threw me down two flights of stairs. Also, I remember that time when I came to your apartment drunk as hell, and instead of take me home, you took advantage of my vulnerable self, getting me pregnant in the first place."
A silent glare was a response.
He continued, "Maybe next time you oughta think before you make empty promises. And by the way, monsters don't have emotions."
"Let me tell you something." Shizuo spoke in a quiet, but firm voice, "If it weren't for me, that kid wouldn't have even gotten to see the fucking light of day. I nearly had to force you to take prenatal vitamins so he would be healthy. You didn't even want the kid, in fact I recall you wanted to get rid of it the minute you found out. I had to threaten you with your life just for you to reconsider. So if you want to talk about emotions, I definitely have more of a heart than you do. I said I was sorry for what happened to you, and I meant it. For the past two weeks, I've been trying to gain your trust and maybe gain a friendship, but if you're going to be fucking difficult, you can die alone."
The brunet shook his head, chuckling to himself, "'Friends'? We could never be true friends, Shizuo, and I'll tell you why. It isn't because we've fought for so long, it's not because we slept together, and it isn't even about the kid anymore. The reason we can never have a nice friendship is because of the Christmas Party."
"The Dollars Christmas Party? Why in the fuck—"
"Because you kissed me." Izaya interrupted with his answer, "We stood under that mistletoe and even though I told you not to, you kissed me in front of everybody. Do you know how humiliating that was for me? So no, I can't take any sort of platonic relationship seriously with you, Shizuo."
Shizuo took his shades off and pinched the bridge of his nose, "You've got to be fucking kidding me. I cannot believe you. I put all of my time and effort into everything that's happened since this all started, never once putting my best interests first. Then I get this silly little idea in my head that maybe we could call a truce, or at least get along. Frankly, I'm fucking sick and tired of being enemies with you. And here I thought that this whole journey we both had could've brought us close enough to stop fighting. After everything that I did for you, you never once thanked me or showed any type of gratitude for what I did. You'd throw another insult and be done. I was patient with you when you were bitchy and when you were suicidal. And now you decide you're going to give up on me because I unknowingly kissed you in front of others, plus it wasn't like they thought it meant anything anyway." He headed towards the door, "I can see now that these past two years have been an utter waste of time. I promise you, you won't ever have to deal with my sorry face again."
Izaya watched quietly, as the other opened the door and shut it behind him. After waiting a few seconds, he sighed to himself. About 15 minutes later, Shinra walked in and started changing his IV. Izaya could just see the disapproval behind the man's glasses.
Finally, he couldn't stand the silence anymore, "How much did he tell you?"
"He didn't have to tell me, I read it on his face." Shinra replied, not making eye contact, "You hurt him."
"He did the same to me."
It was then that Shinra finally looked at Izaya, "I hope one day you wake up and see past your stuck-up demeanor. The sooner you realize how you feel, the better. Shizuo isn't gonna wait forever."
Izaya blinked a few times before realizing what the doctor said, "Wait, what? What do you mean by that?"
"You're an informant, right? Figure it out yourself." Shinra bit back as he was walking out the door.
A month passed. Izaya healed up and left Shinra's apartment. Within a day, he was back out strolling the streets once more. He never saw nor heard about the protozoan lurking around when he visited Ikebukuro. He preferred to not dwell on the fact, focusing on more important things.
Then the day came at last, the day he encountered the monster for the first time since their argument over a month ago.
Izaya was just walking down the sidewalk and wasn't really looking where he was going, his mind off somewhere else. Suddenly, he bumped into a bigger person. Out of habit, he apologized and started to continue walking, that is, until he saw who it was he ran into.
"Hm? Oh, hey flea." The blond muttered as he went on his way.
Frozen for a second, Izaya almost let him walk away. But then those words Shinra had said to him sprung into his mind, and he thought better of it.
"Shizu-chan, I'd like to talk to you." He called out to the other, who was a few feet away.
Shizuo waved him off, "What makes you think I'd want to talk to you?"
"Because I want to apologize."
The man stopped in his tracks, "What did you just say?"
Izaya sighed, "I want to apologize."
Turning around, Shizuo walked back up to Izaya and looked around. In one swift motion, he pulled Izaya into the nearest abandoned alley, "You have 5 minutes. Start talking."
The brunet knew he had no time to lose, so he cut to the chase, "These last few years have been pretty shitty between you and me. I had been involuntarily thrown into a situation that I never thought I'd have to deal with. Not only that, but I had to experience part of what most call the worst pain a human being can endure. Among the numerous other things I went through, I guess I forgot that you had to make some pretty big sacrifices too. I don't quite know how to explain this but," he ran his fingers through his hair as he thought, "I don't feel the same around you anymore—and it's not in a bad way either. It used to be, whenever we were within ten feet of each other, I would get this excitement-fueled adrenaline rush. I only ever thought of you as my day's work out. Now, it feels all wrong. Right now even, I feel like, after everything we went through together, I can almost…" Trailing off, Izaya fought to find the right words, but came up with none, "Shinra told me something after you left that day. He said 'the sooner you realize how you feel, the better. Shizuo isn't going to wait forever.' I'm still confused as to what it means but I'm pretty sure my 5 minutes are up now, huh?"
Standing there, awestruck, Shizuo honestly wasn't even paying attention to the time. When Izaya told him what Shinra said, it reminded him of the conversation they had before Shizuo left.
He slammed the door shut behind him, exasperated beyond belief, "That fucking flea."
Shinra set down the paperwork he was working on, crossing the room to comfort his best friend, "What happened?"
"I tried to be nice. I tried to offer some sort of truce between us and he goes fucking irate talking about how we can't have any sort of 'platonic relationship' because of stupid shit." The blond rambled on and on.
"Well do you want a platonic relationship with Izaya?"
Shizuo shook his head in confusion, "I don't know… maybe?"
After giving it a thought, Shinra added, "Or perhaps you are looking for something more?"
"Excuse me?"
The doctor put a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder, "Well you know, with all that you two have gone through as a couple, I wouldn't blame you if you developed a few feelings for him."
An angry glare was sent the brunet's way, but hidden behind that anger was uncertainty and confliction. In the bodyguard's mind, a war had broken out, and no one could tell who was winning. There was a long pause, Shizuo deep in thought, battling his emotions.
"What's it to you?" Shizuo sighed in defeat.
The grip on his shoulder tightened, "Shizuo, I hope you realize what kind of position you have let yourself fall into."
"I know."
"He doesn't care about anybody but himself—including you."
The blond chuckled to himself, "Yeah, you're probably right."
"Izaya, what are you driving at?" He swallowed harshly, barely able to stand on his own two feet anymore.
"What Shinra said… is it true?"
Shizuo knew he had been backed into a corner, unsure of what to say, he remained silent.
Izaya continued, "I guess I can take that as my answer." He sighed, "You know, if it were anyone else, I would make a snide comment and thank them, yet reject them at the same time. But you… you just had to be the one to do it. I thought for sure that you would be one of the last people to come crawling to me. Does everyone I meet think that I'm their Prince Charming, happily ever after included?"
The blond gritted his teeth, "Look flea, if you wanted to reject me, all you had to do was just say 'no'. All this extra shit is doing nothing but rubbing salt in the wound."
Red orbs shone confusion for just a second, but then recomposed, "You must have misunderstood me. I never said anything about rejecting you."
"But you—"
"I wasn't finished." He explained, amusement in his eyes, "I've traveled to a lot of places and met countless people. Because of my demeanor, they act wary of me or just cold. I wonder what I've done to them to make them act that way. The only 'humans' that seem to stand me are you and Shinra. Shinra has Celty, but you… you somehow have found it in that protozoan heart of yours to choose me, out of anyone in the world. I was waiting for some girl or other harlot to throw themselves at me and I would go from there." He paused for a minute to collect himself, "I'm 25 years old—a quarter of my life already gone—and now I feel like I can't wait for that girl anymore. I fear that if I don't find someone soon, I'll be forced to walk the path of life by myself. I'm very independent, but some company every once in a while is nice, y'know? I have the ability to control everyone in this city, except you. Your damn unpredictability would give me the exciting life of a never-ending guessing game."
Izaya lifted his eyes to Shizuo's, hidden behind those blue shades. Before Shizuo knew what was happening, Izaya's warm mouth was over his own. As quickly as it had come, the warmth was gone. The taller man looked down at the other particularly dumbfounded.
Seeing his expression, Izaya giggled, "Did I cause your brain to shut down or something?" he then sighed, "Look, I'm willing to give this a try if you are. I am offering myself up to you. You get one chance, and if you screw it up, then too bad."
At that moment, Shizuo said two words that he never thought he'd ever say to the brunet, "Thank you."
Placing a calloused hand behind the other's neck, Shizuo pulled Izaya to his lips once more. With no hesitation, Izaya responded back, adding more wood to the passionate fire. He tangled his manicured, but still scarred hands into blond locks. As the kiss became more heated, tongues started to dance in each other's mouths. Strong arms wrapped themselves around Izaya's small frame, pulling him closer. It was like a mix between lust, unexpressed feelings and frustrations. So that they could catch their breath, the couple stood there, faces inches from one another, exchanging quick pecks.
"This can't be happening." Shizuo whispered, still catching his breath.
The brunet chuckled, "Why do you think that?"
He removed his shades and shut his eyes, "I didn't think you would care."
Izaya rolled his eyes and placed a hand on the blond's face, "You're so silly. Of course I care, I'm not that heartless. It just takes a bit of effort to see that side of me. All I did was carry your son for several months—no big deal."
Shizuo's eyes fluttered open as the informant placed a chaste kiss on his cheek before breaking the embrace completely. He sighed with a grin, "I hate you sometimes."
"Love you too." Izaya smiled back.
DONE. END. FINITO. GRANDE FINALE. HAPPY ENDING. NO NEED FOR A SEQUEL.
I really hope you guys enjoyed reading this story as much as I have writing it. To this day I still am obsessed with Durarara (amongst other various things) and am so happy with all the reception this has gotten. Thank you all so much who stuck it out until the end. I know I lost a few readers after Matteiru died, so some have left.
I love you guys! Maybe someday I'll write another Shizaya fic for you beautiful people. But until then, bye!