Being at the clubhouse seemed almost surreal. Chibs fussed over me, asking if he could get me anything and telling me everything would be okay. It was a sweet notion and I knew he was coming from a good place, but I just wanted to process alone. Gemma shooed Chibs away and sat across the table from me.
"You need anything? Shampoo, any of that?" Gemma asked. I looked up at her and then back down at the tattoo on my wrist.
"No, I've got stuff in Lodi. We hadn't moved much of anything in yet." I said, not even thinking about what we'd lost. I was focused on who did it and what the club's next move was. If it was just my apartment then there would be a sliver of a chance the club wouldn't act on it, but it wasn't. They chose the house that Happy and I shared. There was no calling the club off.
"Are you freaking out about the stuff or the house?" Gemma asked, leaning back in her seat. I shifted Millie to a more comfortable position on my lap and looked up at Gemma.
"Neither. It's just stuff. Even the truck and the house. I'm worried about what happens during the coming war. What happens when Happy comes home covered in his own blood instead of someone else's? What happens when any of them are hurt? I don't care about the stuff, Gemma. I care about the people I consider family." I said. She looked surprised at first, but then she started to smile.
"You're definitely an old lady." She said, patting my hand. "Look, sweetie, they've been through hell before. They'll need us more than ever when this pops off. The only thing you can do is make sure he's not coming home to another war with you. Be there for your man."
I nodded and looked at my ring on my left hand that Gemma was holding. Happy had to make it out of this okay. I never thought I'd admit it to myself, but I found myself needing him. I stood up and gave Gemma a tight smile.
"I'm going to be in Happy's dorm. I just need some alone time." I said, grabbing on to Millie's collar. Gemma was nodding, but her eyes were focused on something behind me. I turned around and shook my head. The sheriff was walking into the clubhouse with another deputy by his side.
"Ms. Conner, I need to talk to you." He called. Chibs stood from his seat at the bar and approached Roosevelt.
"The lass just came home to 'er house burnin'. Why don't ya give 'er some space?" Chibs said, stepping in the sheriff's path. Roosevelt stopped and eyed Chibs with a smirk.
"Don't do something stupid, Telford. Just need to bring her in and ask her a few questions about the fire." Roosevelt said. I opened my mouth to object, but thought better of it.
"I'm not talking to you without legal representation. Unless I'm under arrest, you can't force me to go with you. You can contact my lawyer about setting up a time to speak with me." I said, putting on hand on my hip and holding Millie's collar with the other. She was leaning against my legs, trying to prevent me from going anywhere. I heard motorcycles approaching and Millie started barking loudly, telling me one of them was Happy.
Sure enough, Happy burst into the clubhouse moments later, looking rapturous. Roosevelt turned to face him and Happy stopped right at his toes, towering over him. I saw Roosevelt tense and his hand hover over his gun.
"I fucking told you to leave her alone. She was with me the whole time." Happy yelled, not letting Roosevelt's badge intimidate him. I watched as Happy gave Roosevelt a look that could kill him ten times only, if only looks could kill. Chibs seemed to recover from his shock and approached Happy carefully.
"She's not talkin' to him, brother. Go take care of ya'r woman." He said, glancing over at me. Happy looked down at Roosevelt for another minute before smiling eerily and moving away. He walked over to me and kissed me possessively. I blinked hesitantly but kissed him back.
"I'll give him Lohen's card. You two get somewhere behind closed doors before you both get arrested." Gemma said, motioning towards the dorms. Happy snapped his fingers and pointed down the hall, sending Millie running ahead of us. I followed Happy, holding on to his hand and taking extra long strides to keep up.
"Do they know anything?" I asked, sitting cross legged on the bed. Happy shrugged his kutte off and placed it on top of the dresser as he shook his head. I nodded and spun my engagement ring around my finger. "We do though, right?"
"Yeah, J. You know them even more than we do. Arson's their thing. I've got prospects sitting on your place in Lodi until we can get stuff moved out of there." He said, pulling his shirt off and over his head.
"How did they know we lived there? We haven't even moved in yet." I said, looking up at him. He toed his boots off and leaned forward with a sigh.
"I don't know, baby. They could have put a tail on one of us…" He let himself trail off, not saying what I knew he was thinking. I nodded and put my head in my hands.
"If anything happens to you or anyone else, it's going to be on me. I brought the club into a fucking war." I looked up at him as he stood up and crossed the room.
"Jaden, you didn't do this." He said, pulling me onto his lap after sitting next to me. I scoffed and opened my mouth to object but he cut me off. "No, listen. You can't put their actions on you. You didn't start a fire in an Son's house, J. Whatever happens is on them, not you."
"It goes deeper than that, Happy. Why did they start the fire? Why did they ever even come to Charming? Me." I said, wishing he would just call it like it was. He cracked his neck and took a deep breath.
"Jaden, stop." He said with an air of finality. I shook my head and stood up. He just watched me as I crossed the room in a huff.
"Stop what, Happy? Stop telling the truth? I'm going to be here for you every day, no matter what but you've got to stop lying. Just admit that if I never came around, you and the club wouldn't be going to war with the Aztecs." I said, petting Millie as she walked over to check on me. She shoved her head into my hand and licked at my fingers.
"What's that gonna do, Jaden? You really think they'd start a fucking war over some shit from years ago?" He asked with a scoff. I narrowed my eyes at him, looking for more.
"What did you do?" I asked after he stayed silent for a few minutes. He cut his eyes over at me and clinched his teeth. "Happy. Martinez wasn't at BJ's earlier. You killed him for hurting me, didn't you?"
"Yeah, I did." He said, towering over me and looking me in the eyes. "What now, Jaden?" I swallowed hard, biting my lip. I knew what he did for the club but knowing someone had died by his hands, because of me was new. I brought my eyes up to his and saw the same man I'd fallen in love with. He wasn't any different.
Instead of answering him, I raised up on my toes and kissed him. It seemed to take him off guard for a minute, but then he picked me up and moved me over to the bed. I pulled him down on top of me, wanting to feel his warmth and feel secure. He supported his weight on his forearms but obliged me by kissing me deeply and taking it slow.
He held me throughout the night, my back pressed up against his chest the whole time. I'd wake up every so often, not able to sleep, and he'd kiss my shoulder and pull me closer to him. I knew that when morning finally came, he'd have to deal with the aftermath of the Aztec's retaliation. Knowing that it wasn't directly my fault didn't make me feel any better. If anything I was more worried that Happy would put himself on the line because of the role he played in bringing this on the club.
"Can't sleep either?" Jax asked as I creeped into the main room. I stopped trying to be sneaky and shook my head. He nodded and pointed towards the coffee pot behind the bar.
"Can I ask you something?" He looked up from his coffee, neither giving me permission or denying me. I put the pot back on the warming plate at poured some sugar into the mug. "Do you know?"
"He's my Sergeant at Arms, Jaden. I knew before it ever happened." He said, not needing clarification. I nodded and looked down into my coffee. "It was voted on, Jaden. No matter how you try to blame yourself, every member of this club agreed to take this risk."
"For me." I said, shaking my head in disbelief. Jax laughed and gave me a smile.
"Yeah, Jaden, for you. You're part of this screwed up family. We look after our own." He said, staring at my with his light blue eyes.
"Thank you." I said quietly. He nodded as Happy walked into the room in a pair of gym shorts. I gave him a smile and walked back to the dorm room as he approached Jax.
"So, you never have to explain being sore again." Barbie said with a little giggle as I walked into the room. I was surprised to see her but crawled into bed with Millie and my coffee.
"What?" I asked, not completely sure what she was talking about. She laughed and her cheeks reddened.
"Well, I kind of walked in on your man getting dressed. I'm not used to living with men. I knocked but then I tried to knob and it turned and I walked in." She spoke quickly and I cracked up laughing, causing her to blush even more. "I mean I know he's tall and you're not super tall but I didn't realize he'd be like, you know, huge?"
"I needed that laugh, thank you." I said with a giggle. She rolled her eyes and started laughing as well.
"How are you doing?" She asked after we both stopped laughing. I shrugged my shoulders and poked Millie with my foot.
"As well as I can be after our house burned down. What time do you want to head to BJ's?" I asked, looking for work to do. She shrugged and sat down on the corner of the bed. Mille bounded over to her, hoping Barbie would play tug-a-war with her.
"Whenever I guess. I think I'm going to wait to tell Juice about the baby. You know, until this blows over." She said. I shook my head and she frowned.
"No way. You need to tell him, Barbie. If anything, its motivation for him to come home safe." I said, refusing to let her out of telling him this time. She nodded and gave me a little smile.
"You looking for a threesome or something?" Happy growled as he walked in. Barbie blushed and he smirked. "You're the one on my bed and checking me out."
"Happy! Jesus Christ." I said with a laugh. He smirked and hitched his shoulder before walking into the attached bathroom and closing the door. Barbie's cheeks were almost as red as Destiny's hair.
"So, I'm going to go back to Juice's dorm and pretend none of this happened. Come get me when you're ready to go." She said sheepishly. I laughed and promised I would before going into the bathroom as Barbie left the room.
"You know you're horrible, right?" I asked, stepping into the shower with him and trailing my hands up his chest to rest them on his shoulder. He nodded and kissed me quickly.
"You love me, so you're just as horrible. Rat and Juice are going to BJ's with you today." He said, passing me his body wash. I curled my lip but knew my options were limited at the time. He kissed me passionately as I washed my body. I laughed when he took the loofa and washed my back. "I'm going to protect you, Jaden."
"Happy, I'm more concerned about you coming back whole. Promise me that, if anything. Promise me that you'll come home safe." I said with the water crashing over my head. He nodded kissed my forehead.
"I promise, Jaden." He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before moving to the sink to shave. I let a few, silent tears mix in with the water before steeling myself and stepping out. "We'll stay at your place in Lodi once the lockdown is over. At least until we can find a place closer to Charming."
"Okay, Hap. Are you almost done? I need to get ready so we can get down to the club." He made one final pass with the razor and then used a smaller towel to wipe the shaving cream off his head.
"Call me when you get there, J. Keep your phone on you." He said before leaving the bathroom to get dressed in the bedroom. I did what I could with my hair before getting dressed in the clothes that I fortunately kept at the clubhouse. They weren't the cutest clothes, but they were clean and would do in a pinch.
I walked out of the clubhouse, wondering why Barbie wasn't in Juice's room like she said. I found her sitting in my car, holding a pack of cigarettes. I bit my lip and leaned against the back door as Millie tried to lick Barbie happy. She pet the puppy halfheartedly and looked up at me. I saw that her mascara had all but run off her lashes and onto her cheeks.
"What happened?" I asked her. She scoffed and raised the pack of smokes. I twisted my mouth, not understanding her gesture.
"He asked me if I needed money for an abortion. What am I supposed to do with that?" She asked, her laughter turning into sobs. I frowned and squatted down in front of her. "I knew he'd be surprised but I didn't know he'd make me get rid of it."
"Is he though? Was he telling you to get rid of the baby or asking if you wanted to, doll? I know you're upset but I can't see Juice not wanting a baby with you. He thinks you hung the moon." I said, wondering what the world was coming to. Barbie shook her head and tapped the pack of cigarettes on the heel of her hand.
"Does it matter? Let's just go." She said with a sigh, handing the cigarettes over to me. I slid them in my back pocket as I stood up. "Where are you going?"
"Juice and Rat are our tails today, Barbie. I've got to let them know we're leaving." I said, turning towards the clubhouse. Juice met me at the door and looked across the lot to my car. "Good job, asshole."
"What? I never said I didn't want it! I just didn't think she would." He said with a frown. I raised my brow and he shrugged. "I mean, she's a stripper."
I smacked my hand across Juice's face with a pop as Rat walked out of the clubhouse. The prospect froze, clearly unsure as to what he walked into. I pointed at my car and then jabbed my finger into Juice's chest.
"She's your old lady, asshole. She used to strip and now she owns a club. Neither of you ever call her a stripper again. It's one thing when you're saying it as a compliment but that's not who we are, it's what we did. You want that kid? You better start fixing your fuck up or else she'll do it without you." I said before spinning on my booted heel and storming back to my car. Barbie looked like a deer in headlights when I got in the driver's seat.
"He wants the kid, he's just an idiot." I explained as I reached into the back seat and hooked Millie's harness to the seat belt. Rat and Juice's bikes roared to life and they positioned themselves in front of and behind my car as we headed out of the lot, the gate sliding closed behind us.
A/N: Again thank you so much for your continued support!