Chapter 20
"Kiss me..."
She whispered the words into the seductive darkness that was Jen's hair, as it framed Jen's face, which was completely entranced with her.
The words filled the air between them as Jen looked down at Tilly, sitting there on the ancient seat looking up at her, just inches away. Tilly's eyes were unguarded and shone their longing for her in the late summer's light, which was beginning to ebb away into an evening dusk across a pink sky...
"You're beautiful. Do you know that?" Jen murmured back and used her index finger to sweep the hair out of Tilly's eyes. Then she smiled, warmly, mischievously, the smile fading as she fixated on Tilly's eyes first and then her mouth, where her gaze stayed, unwavering.
Tilly reached up then, towards Jen's face, wanting the secretive silken world of her skin; wanting to stroke it where it lay waiting for her touch; hiding underneath her beautiful hair, almost black, which now fell down around Tilly; caressing her face as Jen bent down even closer to her.
Jen's were the most mesmerising eyes Tilly had ever seen – usually an alluring hazel shade, but darker right now, more mahogany, because they were so full of emotion as they gazed down at her. If love was an ocean, then it was like looking into the deepest, most fathomless part of it, Tilly thought. Jen had lost herself momentarily, Tilly could see, and it made her want her all the more. In fact, Tilly herself felt she was being pulled into a more private, sultry place the whole time she was looking into Jen's eyes. She knew she wanted to live in those eyes forever... She felt her stomach flip again and her heart skip another beat, electrified in a current of attraction still so strong it took her breath away. The need to touch her was too powerful to resist, so she didn't try and fight it.
"Kiss me... please..." Tilly repeated, barely breathing out the words, faintly, desperately. She stroked her fingers through Jen's silky hair, to caress her beautiful satin skin once again, this time at the nape of her neck, and then she drew a playful line around her ears before feeling the thickness of her dark hair again – that part which had been lifted up loosely into a ponytail. God, how she loved to touch her!
Jen's body tensed at her touch and shook slightly. Yet she maintained her stillness, like a passive observer enthralled by a sculptured work of art. Jen's stillness defied the surge of emotion which was urging her onwards. It was like a tsunami, her immense feelings for the younger student, who was sitting beneath her, looking up at her adoringly; her feelings collectively surged inside her in one giant pulsing wave; it swelled her heart with its strength and urgency. Yet, despite its power, Jen remained as she was: still, controlled. That is... apart from the frantic beating of her heart, the ragged pattern of her breathing, and the mesmerised searching of her eyes, which never left Tilly's face. They drank in its expressions, and the fluctuating tension of her lips – which moved to speak again...
"Jen – " Tilly whispered a third time, "Jen, I'm begging you. I can't bear it. Kiss me!"
Hearing her name repeated seemed to wake Jen out of her earnest trance and she blinked and immediately smiled at her... a gentle, slow smile. Then she moved both of her hands to hold either side of Tilly's face, so gently, as if it was fragile and easy to break. She bent further forward, so that their noses touched lightly, and kissed her tenderly, her partly-open lips lingering on Tilly's before breaking away for air...
Tilly melted right into her kiss and knowing that, and feeling it, made Jen melt too and respond by kissing her slowly, tenderly, searchingly again. And again. And again...
It didn't matter that their surroundings were so humble and scruffy. It didn't matter that they were only together there, in the half-derelict, abandoned hut that Tilly had known about and taken Jen to, out in the wooded part of the park not far from the church ruins near the centre of the village. No one went there, she knew, so it had become something of a get-away for them; a stop-gap where they could occasionally meet up without the danger of being spotted, and they had made it a cosy retreat, of sorts, by adding candles and (cheap) throws to cover a sparse selection of old furniture – a tatty armchair and two-seater sofa... But right now it didn't matter that it was worn-out and very basic and hardly the usual romantic environment: it felt, to both of them, that they were in fact together in a place that was rich and luxurious; exotic and palatial; exquisite.
The summer breeze touched the warped wooden door and window to make them both shiver and rattle slightly and Jen broke off, looking up, suddenly scared. She was suddenly aware again of what it would mean if someone followed them and saw them together... Like this. No, they weren't naked, but both of them were revealing the occasional glimpse of bare torso or bra; chest bone or collarbone and expanse of neckline – all areas which had already been covered with slow, delicate kisses and caresses – because both of them were half-undressed with their tops half open and either off a shoulder or rippling imperceptibly in the warm, gentle breeze... Jen particularly loved to nuzzle into Tilly's neck, breathing-in her faint floral scent the whole time she was kissing her, as she had just been doing a moment ago, and the way it made Tilly giggle, and shiver coyly, made Jen want to do it all the more. But now she was tensed, alert and listening, eyes zeroed-in on the rattling door...
"What?" Tilly asked in another whisper, worried by the sudden look on Jen's face and her stiffened posture.
Jen paused for a moment longer, listening intently. And then she relaxed, and turned back to her, smiling once more; coming-in close again so their noses were almost touching.
"Nothing. I thought I heard someone outside... but it was just the wind."
"Oh. You're sure?"
"Yes."
Jen smiled again, touched by the look of concern in Tilly's eyes, and by her maturity at understanding, fully, the dangerous predicament Jen was in.
Jen pushed that thought to the back of her mind. Or tried to.
Yes, she'd gone online and done some research into her position, legally, over Tilly, and she'd found to her horror that Diane was completely right: if they were discovered she would indeed go to prison, for being inappropriately intimate with a minor – and, so it seemed, because she was, as her teacher, legally in a position of trust, which the law would see as her abusing that position with someone under the age of eighteen... If only they were a year on, and Tilly was eighteen now, they would be fine. But they weren't, and she wasn't. Being in love didn't matter in the eyes of the law: that would be it, Jen would face possible years in prison for the crime of: 'Abuse of position of trust'!
Jen also knew it would mean the end of any teaching career for her. When she'd first felt her attraction for Tilly (almost immediately on seeing her), the moment she realised how far she could fall for her, she'd been frequently worried by nightmarish thoughts of being publicly humiliated – by accusations of exploiting one of her students, and worse – being labelled that hideous name: paedophile! Either way, Jen knew she stood to lose everything! And she feared for Tilly too, who faced such a promising future as Keeler's best hope for Cambridge – after which, well, all the doors in the world would be open to her. Yet if her reputation was publicly tarnished by this socially forbidden relationship, what then? Jen doubted Cambridge would overlook it and base their acceptance of her purely on her grades, no matter how good they were. No, it was all too scary to contemplate, for both of them: they both had so much to lose!
But Jen also knew that Tilly was now an integral part of her... So how she could live, how she could exist without her, she simply did not know. And simply stopping it and not seeing each other for the rest of the year, until Tilly reached the acceptable age of eighteen, was also, she knew, completely impossible: they were in too deep with each other. It was too late...
So Jen pushed that thought to the back of her mind. Again. And, instead, drank in the beauty of Tilly's adoring face, gazing up at her.
"You look far away," Tilly was saying, "Come back to me."
Jen smiled reassuringly at her, looking at her mouth and then up to her eyes; unknowingly making Tilly's heart leap at the same time, and ache with longing.
"What are you thinking?" she asked simply, curious to know what was going on in Jen's head.
"Oh, just looking at you. You take my breath away Tilly. You really don't know how much."
Tilly smiled back coyly, shyly dropping her gaze, heart racing, body throbbing.
A look of regret crossed Jen's face. "I'm sorry I can't do the Paris trip with you right now after all. If only those job interviews hadn't come up in the meantime we might have actually gone, eh? Sorry. One day though, I promise. As soon as I can."
"Hey, I've already told you it's okay. Jen, it's amazing you've been called for interview at two schools already. Isn't it? I thought you'd be over the moon. All that hard work filling out applications has paid off. It's what you've always wanted; a full-time teaching job in Art. Just think of all those creative minds you can show the beauty of the world to! Wow, I'm jealous of all your future students!"
Tilly's up-beat encouragement placed a warm smile back on Jen's face. Yet again, the student-teacher felt in awe of her mature take on life and felt moved that she cared so much for her to be happy. She wanted to wrap her up and consume her everywhere!
"Ha! And I'm jealous of all your future teachers!" she replied, grinning. "Now..." Jen resumed emphatically, "...where was I? Ah, yes..." and she drew herself into Tilly once more, stroking her face with both hands, gently rubbing her nose up and down Tilly's, and then she pressed her mouth into hers once again for more soulful kissing...
The summer breeze made the warped wooden door and window of the half-derelict hut shiver and rattle again at its gentle touch, and this time there came the added sound of the branches of one of the trees, which moved to tap faintly against the roof above them, while the other surrounding trees whispered secretively, knowingly; they created a hushing sound, like distant water, which was soothing.
Jen finished unbuttoning Tilly's floral blouse and moved her hands inside it, to stroke her perfect porcelain skin beyond, and then moved herself lower, breaking off her exquisite kisses to reposition her sultry mouth onto Tilly's ribcage, just beneath her bra, where she began again to kiss, and caress her with her mouth, her tongue, moving down... and down... and down... Tilly's breathing quickly became heavy, laboured, and she threw her head back and closed her eyes in a breathless moan...
This time Jen didn't stop to listen for footsteps or other, different, breathing outside the hut, hidden by the sound of the rattling wood and tapping trees in the summer breeze. She felt safe and was lost again, deep in the moment...
.
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