WARNING: This chapter contains possible triggers for suicidal thoughts; so beware as you proceed.
Hello, my lovely readers. There are we're going check up on Caroline in this chap. On with the show…
Chapter 19: This Isn't the Life I Asked For
No one ever asked Caroline Forbes if she wanted to be a heroine. Alaric just showed up. Then "destiny" kicked in and Caroline's old life began to unravel into the mess it was up until she found herself in a coffin, covered in chains. No, this is not the life Caroline would have chosen for herself, but, again, no one ever asked her what she wanted.
"Somebody, help Meeeee!" Caroline screamed until she felt her lungs beginning to burn. Nope. Not very superhero-y. A true hero would not lie in this dilemma and beg someone else to bail them out. They would figure out how to save themselves. Perhaps that was their fatal flaw, the inability to accept the need for anyone else's help.
Caroline thought back over the summer. Maybe she'd been blind, due to her rage toward Klaus and should have taken a step back. Maybe she should have shared with her friends how badly Klaus' betrayal had wounded her. Well, that was too bad. The past had already been written. Caroline did what she did. And, now… Now, she might die because she was too stubborn to accept help.
"Help MEEEEEEE!" Caroline screamed, choking on a sob. She tuned her hearing for the sounds of a rescue team but her ears met dead silence from above. The only sounds to keep her company were that of the worms and other bugs which lived in the earth. Getting a very vivid image of what these things would do to her, Caroline let out another shriek: "HELLLLLPPPP!"
Nothing.
Caroline swore to herself. "If I ever get the hell out of here, I am totally going to have Alaric come up with a safety device. Like a cute necklace I can wear and it will send out a Bat Signal." She chuckled bitterly. "If I don't die in here."
Taking long, shaky breaths, Caroline concentrated. She should be able to work her way out of these chains. And then, making her way out of the coffin, would feel like child's play.
Caroline focused on the chains down by her feet. If she could just wiggle them off… She closed her eyes and began to slide her legs up and down. It would help if she had something slippery to ease the chain off her skin where it was biting into the fabric of her pants.
Nothing wet in here. Funny. With all the rain pouring out of the sky. Caroline let out a frustrated sigh. What's wet? Damn it! she thought.
Then it dawned on her. And the thought did not make her feel any better.
Blood. Blood could be used to help her slip out of the chains. But getting it from her mouth, or wrist, to her feet. That would present a challenge.
For once Caroline cursed her height. If she were shorter, like Elena or Bonnie, she might have more wiggle room. Not with this body.
Okay. How to do this? Caroline questioned herself, trying not to allow panic and despair to take over.
After a long moment, Caroline came to a decision. She took a deep breath and bit the inside of her mouth. It hurt like hell and she felt the warm liquid pool into her mouth, choking her. She began to spit, feeling her blood beginning to coat her lips and chin as she continued to spit as much of the stuff out as possible. She had to get it further down. Her arms were chained down by her waist. Oh, this would take forever. Taking another breath, Caroline bit herself again, and again. The taste of her own blood made her stomach heave. Maybe if she threw up…
No. She would do that if the blood thing did not work. There would only be so much ickiness that Caroline could deal with at a time.
Somehow she'd managed to spit far enough that she could feel the blood close to her left. Wriggling, Caroline pressed her head against the top of the coffin and felt a whole lot of pain as she pushed higher, as if she meant to break through the top of the coffin using her head.
"Come on. Come on!" Caroline whimpered. Then she felt the blood on her wrist. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" she cried and began to slide her wrist up. The feeling of her skin tearing at the chain as she attempted to force it free made Caroline scream. Not like anyone could hear her anyway.
Her palm became slick with blood. Caroline registered that her wrist was almost free but she'd opened her wrist in the process. She might have out-of-this-world healing powers but she wondered how much blood she could lose and not be in serious danger.
Tugging her wrist free, Caroline peered at her wrist. She couldn't see it in the coffin which emitted no light whatsoever. If she were on a moonless street, she would be able to see clearly, but not in this damned coffin.
Caroline moved her sleeve to her face and felt blood pouring back into her mouth as she took hold of the fabric, tearing it and ripping away a chunk. Clumsily, she managed to make a make-shift bandage for her wrist. It would have to do, for now.
"Nurse Caroline is in the house," Caroline whispered to herself. Now, she just had to get her other wrist free and her legs. No big deal.
Taking her free wrist, she spread blood from around the wrapped wound and spread it against the still chained wrist. This left her wincing in pain, but the notion of escape forced her to press on. I'm losing oxygen. My friends are missing. I really should stop thinking aloud, given how little air is in this box…"
Caroline decided to stop talking and to keep doing. She would get out of here. She would find her friends. She and Klaus would defeat his parents. Life would go on.
Only the feeling of her other wrist opening up broke Caroline's happy plans. She bit her lower lip, trying not to scream, again. She could feel the blood pouring out, again. Doing what she did the first time, she made a make-shirt wrap and then began to work the chains over her head. The process felt like it would never end.
By the time Caroline got to the chains around her legs, she felt her energy slowing. Too much blood loss. Even for someone like me. Time for a little time-out. Caroline inhaled and exhaled, taking in as little air as her body would allow her to.
Even though she was not like every other human on the planet, Caroline was still human. She needed her blood in her body. She needed air. And she was losing both. Too quickly. If someone did not come, soon, it wouldn't matter if she got out of these chains; she would still die.
Shaking with frustration, Caroline began the slow work of easing the chains off her legs and wriggling them down, off her feet.
Finally. Free of those, Caroline relaxed for a moment. Now, it was time for the hard part. Finding the strength to get the hell out of this coffin. Lifting her hand, Caroline began to dig at the fabric it was lined with. Breaking through that was easy. She then began to rake her fingernails over the wood. It felt like a long process because she was beginning to wear down.
Closing her eyes, Caroline set her sore wrists on top of her chest and decided to take a tiny break. Nowhere to be. Nothing to do. Other than claw my way out of this hell.
Then a doubt crept into Caroline's mind: What if the reason no one came to help her was because they changed their minds and decided they would be better off without her in their lives? Klaus would not have to deal with his destiny. Bonnie must have wondered if her life would be easier without a so-called vampire hunter around. Bonnie and her Grams could leave town, start a new life. Kol must have enough money to set them up anywhere in the world. Rebekah and Elijah must wonder what if Caroline snapped one day and decided to go on an all-out-vampire-crusade? Wouldn't it be easier to just leave her behind?
No. None of that made any sense. Bonnie was too loyal. Klaus might have a million faults, but he loved Caroline. Kol might skip town, with Rebekah, but Elijah would try to reason with Caroline, even if she did lose her mind.
The truth was Caroline felt afraid that her friends would come looking for her. And they would die at the hands of Esther and Mikael. They were too strong. Caroline did not feel like she could defeat them. If she were honest with herself, she did not believe that Klaus would kill her: she thought that his parents would defeat her in this battle. The worst part of accepting this reality was…
Caroline wanted to die.
The words filled her head and Caroline opened her eyes. She'd never really allowed herself to accept that idea. Ever since Mikael stabbed her, Caroline felt like something was wrong. She was wrong. She did not know why she'd lived. And she'd been so angry. So very, very angry. Finding out that Klaus lived: that had made a sort of sense. Her mission came back into view with a clarity that startled her: She came back to fight Klaus. One more time. This time would be the end of it.
However, if Caroline died in this sad coffin, without her friends, or his family getting in the way, no one else had to be a casualty of this stupid prophecy. This made Caroline smile bitterly. She wanted for it to be over. She wanted to be done. She wanted to lay down her sword and say: Screw whoever put me in this position. Screw whoever allowed me to fall in with love with my arch-nemesis. Screw whoever sat down and wrote that the love of my life would be my end.
No. Whoever wrote that prophecy; they did not get to win. Caroline closed her eyes again. She would allow death to come. She would allow Esther what she would believe to be a minor triumph. However, it would be her downfall. Klaus, in his grief-stricken rage would find his mother and his father and put their reign of terror to an end. This made Caroline smile genuinely.
Okay. Fine. I'm done now, Caroline called out to whatever made her. With a concentrated effort, Caroline slid her fingers under the bandages she's made and slid them off. It's time for the next slayer, hunter thing to take their place. My watch it done, she thought wryly. Time to see what comes next. I'm ready. I'm not afraid.
Blood began to pour over her clothes as Caroline rested her arms over her chest. Corpse position. Yup, the yogis are right, this is comfortable.
Caroline allowed her mind to drift. She hoped her mother would forgive her. Elizabeth Forbes would have told Caroline to fight. You can't give up, baby. I love you, Caroline. And her dad… She would not see her parents until they died, too. Or maybe not. Who knew what came after? Caroline certainly did not. Maybe she's done some bad things and would end up in a bad place. Nah.
"Good-bye, mom. Good-bye, dad. Good-bye, Bonnie. Good-bye, Elena and Damon. Good-bye, Stefan. Good-bye, Matt. Good-bye, Jeremy. Good-bye, Friday Night Movies." Caroline let out a quiet laugh. "Good-bye, Tyler. Thanks for trying to help. Good-bye, Elijah, Kol and Bekah, I will miss you guys. Good-bye, Alaric; you were a great mentor. If I could think better, I would have a lot of really nice things to say about you, but my brain feels kind of fuzzy right now, sorry. Good-bye, Klaus…I loved you with my last breath…"
With one more exhale, Caroline felt herself drifting away. It did not hurt. It felt a lot like sleep. This would be okay.
"Caroline!" a voice shouted at her and Caroline turned around to face a frowning Klaus. "What in the bloody hell do you think you are doing, love?" he demanded, stalking over to her and grabbing her by the shoulders, shaking her hard.
Klaus' presence told Caroline one thing, she must have passed out but had not died, yet. However, Klaus did not seem to be in favor of her plans for the moment. Caroline wondered where he was.
"Klaus, let go of me!" Caroline snapped, trying to shrug him off. His fingers dug in more tightly, the glimmer of the wolf appearing in the yellow of his eyes. "Klaus…"
"No! Not until you forget this madness. You will wake up and you will fight, do you hear me, Caroline!" Klaus shouted back at her, shaking her again. Caroline felt like a rag doll and did not appreciate it.
With a growl, Caroline lifted her leg and kicked Klaus. He dropped to the ground, holding himself and glowering at Caroline who stepped out of his reach. "It's not your call to make," Caroline turned her back on Klaus and headed deeper into the woods. She wondered if she created this landscape or Klaus did. It didn't matter. Soon it would all fade away. And blessed quiet would settle over everything.
"Caroline," Klaus came from her left and Caroline dropped into position. Her two fists balled in front of her, she leaned slightly forward, her shoulders hunched, her legs were splayed to keep her balance, in case someone of something aimed to drive her off her feet.
A body collided with her own. And instead of knocking her to the ground, Klaus looked shocked when Caroline sent him flying with a one arm and shoulder thrust. His back and head slammed into a tree. Flinching at the impact, Caroline watched Klaus' expression become pained, his lips pressing together and his eyes closing.
"Just let me go, Klaus," Caroline snapped. She took another step to find Klaus blocking her step. "Klaus…"
"Caroline, you cannot do this!" Klaus snapped at her. His hands went back to her shoulders. His intense expression left Caroline doubting her decision. "Caroline, your friends need you, darling…I need you to live."
"No, you don't, Klaus. You've lived, for, like, forever. Literally. You've seen nations created, cities topple and been through actual wars. You have your siblings. All you need is your family, Klaus. Okay? You'll be better off without my blood on your hands."
Shaking his head, Klaus' expression turned stony. "Without you I lose my mind. I will tear through others as I have never done before. You should know I am famed for my brutal exploits. Imagine what I will do to your little friends, without you to protect them?"
"Now, you're just trying to manipulate me into getting mad enough to fight." Caroline shook her head. "I'm sorry. I've already made up my mind."
"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Think of it, now, how fragile little Bonnie can be without her magic. There are ways to preventing her from accessing it. I have done so with other witches in history. Her end will fill the chapters of the Bennett family history books. Children in her family will shake with dread at the mere mention of my name." Klaus grinned at Caroline and she ground her teeth together. "Oh, and Elena, have I ever found a way to show her how I feel about her faking her own death? No? Perhaps I should."
"Klaus, you're not going to harm my friends," Caroline replied with more conviction than she felt. "What good would it do? And you know that if you take things too far; Elijah will find a way to stop you."
Klaus let out a laugh. "Not if he's busily rotting away in a box. Oh, sweet Caroline. I have been living too long, have done too much, know how to outsmart all of my enemies, because that is how you stay alive as long as I have." Placing a hand on Caroline's cheek, Klaus looked deeply into her eyes. "You want to live. If not for me, then for your loved ones."
"Klaus, you don't get it. Maybe when we meet again, you will." Caroline broke his grip on her and strode away.
She could hear Klaus striding after her. "Caroline, do not walk away from me!" Klaus thundered.
"Or what?" Caroline snapped. She turned to stare at him.
Without another word, Klaus backhanded her and Caroline stumbled before falling on a pile of leaves. "Get up and fight, coward," he challenged her.
"Coward?" Caroline scoffed. "Coming from the guy who's scared of Mommy and Daddy? You can't even stand up for yourself."
Klaus strode over and lifted his foot. He would have come down on her leg if she had not darted away from him. He could not really hurt her. This was not real. None of it was real.
"Stop it," Caroline snapped.
Klaus did not reply. Instead, he walked over to a tree and snapped off a branch with a nastily sharp end to it. Hefting it in his hand, he turned to Caroline. "Shall we fight? You have mere moments left. Why not enact the prophecy while we're here, shall we?"
"We can't," Caroline snapped, pushing herself to her feet. "None of this is real. This is like those dreams that you used to give me."
"Yes. It is. Currently, I am trapped beneath a tree with a gigantic limb stuck through my heart. Isn't that ironic?" Klaus sneered. "Now that we're all caught up." Klaus spread his lips to reveal his hybrid fangs and launched himself at Caroline.
Caroline dodged out of Klaus' path but his weapon ripped through her shirt. She rolled on the ground and gasped, looking at the blood trailing down her wrist. It reminded her of the blood in the coffin.
"You're looking a little worried, darling," Klaus taunted her. "Afraid it's true what they say: That you can die in your dreams. Did you ever wonder what it would mean if the prophecy took place? World peace? I think not. I think it would unleash a chain of events that would end in the great unhappiness of many. But I suppose we can find out."
Again, Klaus launched himself at Caroline. He was not holding back as he swung his branch at her face, cutting her cheek open. His arm snuck around her waist and he licked her cheek. "You taste like the most delicious wine I've ever drunk. I would die happy with the taste of you."
"Get off!" Caroline lifted her right hand and socked Klaus in the jaw. She rained blows across his cheeks and nose, watching as a trickle of blood began to ooze from where she'd broken his nose.
"Is that the best you can do!" Klaus cried, grinning, and Caroline felt anger course through her. Her instincts were telling her to take the branch and to ram it through his undead heart. He was a monster. An undead thing that masqueraded the earth, pretending to be human.
"Not even close!" Caroline did a quick somersault before she landed on top of Klaus. She went for the branch and Klaus smacked her hand with it. She let out a groan and kicked him in the ribs. She heard the sound of shattering and Klaus gasped in pain.
Caroline did not have time to think before Klaus took the business end of the branch and ran it through her middle. She coughed, feeling blood burble into her mouth and then he jerked the object out. Still, the pain felt nothing like what Caroline had felt since Mikael drove a sword through Klaus and into Caroline.
"Give up, now, love," Klaus warned her. "Just wake up. This can all be over."
Crawling off of him, Caroline shook her head. "No," she groaned, crying as she looked for something to defend herself with. Her blood dripped out of her as she placed her hand over the wound. "I'm doing the right thing, Klaus. Something you seem to be unfamiliar with."
Klaus' hand came down on Caroline's shoulder and she cried out when he flipped her onto her back. "Caroline…" He ran a hand down her cheek, slipping down her neck and chest before he slid a finger into her middle and she screamed like he'd placed a fire poker inside her. "Wake up!" he cried. "Wake up. Damn it!"
"You can't make me," Caroline hissed back, her eyes wide and she could feel her vision blurring as Klaus slid another finger inside her wound, digging into her and she sobbed.
"This literally hurts me more than you," Klaus moaned. "I am begging you to not give up. If not for me, for Alaric, and your mother. For your future! You have too much to do, Caroline."
"No," Caroline said and the pain stopped.
Opening her eyes, Caroline found that Klaus sat on his haunches. He looked like a wolf, evaluating whether its prey was worth its time. "You're making the biggest mistake of your long life. And, you are right, I have lived what seems like forever. I have seen things, done things, you could not imagine. Nor would I want you to. Because of this I know you will be replaced. This girl, or boy may be clever, and a skilled fighter. They will not last long when I find them. I will make it my mission to end every single child they send in your stead. That will be your legacy, Caroline Forbes. Death."
"Klaus…" Caroline thought of the vision Esther gave her, of the girl who would come after her and she felt her heart squeeze tightly.
"No matter. You will not live to see it," Klaus said, his voice low and then he lowered himself on top of her. Caroline did not manage to say another word as Klaus claimed her, his teeth sinking into her neck and she felt pain and then pleasure as he sucked down her blood.
This dream world began to fade away and Caroline closed her eyes. She would die in Klaus' arms. The prophecy would come true, even in a dream. It was all over.
Then…
"Caroline!" a voice called to her.
Caroline opened her eyes to vast darkness. Nothing. The coffin. She wasn't dead yet. Sighing, Caroline closed her eyes again.
"Caroline, if you can hear me, just hold on. Okay? Caroline! I'm here. I came to save you. Just don't give up," the voice pleaded with her.
Now, Caroline knew she wasn't losing her mind. She had heard a voice. Close by. In fact, really close by. And now she heard the scrape of a shovel. "Help me," she hissed, barely enough air left to choke out the word. "Please! Help me!"
Then she heard someone unfamiliar chanting. "Come on," the first voice cried. "Come on. Come on. Caroline, we're almost there."
"It's done," a woman said.
Caroline inhaled as the coffin lid opened and she blinked back fresh tears as the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen came into view: sunlight. And with it, someone she should have known would always find her. "Hi," she whispered.
"Don't try to talk. We need help," the voice said and Caroline nodded, falling back asleep. She meant to wake soon. She had so much to do.
Thank you reading, faving, following and reviewing.
Peace,
J