WARNING: my readers, please read with caution. This chapter contains sensitive subjects and scenes (abuse, rape, etc), if you are uncomfortable with such scenes, they have been written in Italics So you may know when such scenes are over. Some of you might be thinking this warning is ridiculous, but there are many out there who are sensitive to certain subjects.

Chapter Twenty

"What?! You just cursed me!" I yelled at the gnomes.

"You're the one who was stupid enough to let yourself draw blood from the thorns," Carrot retorted. "That's how the flower takes effect. Have fun with that."

My eye twitched. "So basically if Jin and I don't love each other anymore we'll both die?"

"Precisely," Cabbage said softly, twiddling his thumbs.

I face palmed. "Great...I didn't even know I was in love!" I exclaimed.

"Well now you do," Cabbage said sweetly.

"Not helping."

"Sorry..."

How could you not know you were in love with the shinobi?, Selene asked me.

Shut up Selene!, I mentally yelled and suppressed a growl before leaving the garden. "Wait!" Carrot called after me but I ignored the damn gnome. Probably wanted to mention another killer flower to me.

I made my way through the halls randomly like before but I wasn't numb this time but rather...pissed off. Emphasis on the PISSED OFF part. God how was I going to tell Jin that he was basically stuck with me?! Maybe he didn't even love me in return...would the flower even still take effect if it was only one sided?

"Ugh, just one more thing to add to the list," I muttered, pinching between my eyes.

"Mistress," a familiar voice caught my attention.

"Mierda!" I screeched in surprise. Where the hell had Edna come from?! Calming myself, I said, "Was there something you needed, Edna?"

She bowed her head. "It is time for the third trial, mistress."

My eyes widened. "Already? It's only been a day since the last one!"

Edna nodded and gestured for me to follow her. "Master Griq wishes for this one to start at dusk. I must...prepare you for this trial."

She was leading me down more unfamiliar halls and we finally reached a small set of double doors. "Edna, what do you mean prepare me?" She only remained silent and opened the doors, quickly shutting them once we were inside.

The room was incredibly dark, only lit by a few candles here and there. Using my harpy senses I was able to make out a desk and several racks scattered around the room, clothing hanging from them.

"Is this some kind of dressing room?" I asked.

"Yes, mistress. You will still be required to wear your ceremonial kimono but there is another part of your attire that is needed for this trial." She was rummagging around the clothing racks, looking for what this other attire was. Edna finally pulled a cloak from one of the racks. It was black and just barely shimmered in the candles' light. "Please, put this over your formal attire when you are dressing for the trial. Only two hours remain before the third trial."

I nodded, taking the cloak from her. "Edna, can you tell me what sort of trial this will be?"

The grey woman stiffened, her eyes staring at me through the shadows of her hooded cloak. "In this trial...you will be forced to relive your worst, most horrific memories."

My breath caught in my throat and I was just about to ask her something else before she exited the room, disapearing down the hall. "My worst memories...oh god..." I knew exactly what memories I would be forced to relive...My hand bawled into a fist and I felt a sharp stab in my palm. Looking down, I remembered the olentis amor flower bud. I glared down at the flower but held onto it. God only knew what would happen if I were to throw it away. My head would probably explode or something...

"Lucy? Are you okay?" Yukina asked me later in my room. Jin and Touya had left to go somewhere before the next trial began.

I shook my head. "Yukina...I don't know what to do." I had done my best to explain the flower situation but I probably only confused her further. And I hadn't told Jin yet.

"Well, maybe you and Jin do love each other. It may work out just fine," she tried comforting me.

"I love him...I just don't know if he feels the same way about me."

"What do you mean? I thought you two were together now."

I bit my lip, thinking. "We are but...that doesn't mean it's love. Not for him anyway...and I hid the flower so I wasn't able to tell if he could smell it." I glanced out the window once again, the sky growing darker and darker by the second. It would very soon be dusk.

"We should probably go ahead," Yukina said, standing from her seat.

I nodded and slowly rose, pulling on the cloak Edna had given me. We had been intructed to follow the corridor to the left of the dining hall and we would come across four doors. The two middle doors were for myself and Valen, while the outside doors were for our guests.

I gulped when we reached the doors. The middle left door had my name scrawled across it in fancy golden letters. "Do we just go on in?" Yukina asked.

"Guest, please enter your designated room," Edna appeared out of no where again, making me jump out of my skin. Yukina gave me a quick hug before she opened my guests' room. "Mistress, it will be dusk any moment now. Master Valen should be here any moment as well. As soon as he arrives, both of you must enter your rooms at the same time."

I nodded, eyes glued to my door. "What exactly am I supposed to do once I get in there? And what's this cloak for?"

"You must leave the past behind and conquer your fears," Edna whispered. "And the cloak is a part of the tradition of this particular trial, nothing more." Her eyes shifted to look behind me and she bowed. "Master Valen, have you been briefed of the third trial?"

The thunder demon nodded stiffly, looking nervous himself and dressed in a similiar cloak to my own.

"When you have completed the task, your door will immediately unlock. Let the third trial of Grey commence," Edna said, motioning us to our doors. I stepped forward but not before I heard Edna barely whisper, "Conquer." Before I could ask what she meant, the door closed and I was left in darkness...

...4 Year Old Lucinda

"Where the hell have you been?!" daddy yelled at mommy.

"Unlike some lazy fucker I actually have a job to support this family!" Mommy yelled back.

I was peeking around the corner, watching and listening to them.

"Don't you dare disrespect me!" Daddy flipped over the coffee table. "You're cheating on me aren't you?! Who the fuck is it?!" He picked up a glass cup and threw it at Mommy, thankfully she dodged it.

"I'm not cheating on your sorry ass!" She screamed right back at him.

I leaned forward to get a better look only to slip and fall on my face. Mommy and Daddy looked at me and I started crying. "Shut the fuck up!" Daddy screamed at me.

"Don't you dare speak to my child like that!" Mommy stood in front of me, protecting me from Daddy.

"She's my child too! I can yell at her if I want!" He pushed Mommy away and slapped me. "Stop crying!" He screamed at me only making me cry harder.

He raised his hand to hit my again but Mommy hit him in the head with a vase. "Come here, sweetie. We have to leave," Mommy told me as I cried in her arms.

"Daddy's gonna chase us!" I cried into her shoulder as she quickly packed some of our stuff.

"Lucinda I promise I will keep you safe from him," she told me, grabbing my hand to pull me out of the house. As we drove away I heard Daddy yelling...and what sounded like firecrackers...

...15 Year Old Lucinda

"Hehe I finally caught you," the man grinned at me as I backed away, my eyes never leaving him. I realized too late that I was cornering myself against a wall, trapping me. "Don't worry," he said, grabbing me by my shirt and ripping it, causing the shirt to hang loosely from my shoulder.

This man had been stalking me for several months now, always leaving me creepy letters and gifts...I guess he had gotten tired of watching from afar.

I screamed and kicked, doing everything I could possibly do to against a man more than twice my size. "Play time," he whispered, pinning both my arms with only one hand and using the other...to...to...

*Screaming*

He just left me in that alley, left me to die. I felt so...dirty...why...why had no one heard me...I curled up and started bawling...

...18 Year Old Lucinda

"What a worthless little bitch," he sneered at me, turning to walk away but I stopped him.

"Please! I'll do anything! I love you, let me prove it to you!" I begged him.

He turned around and looked me dead in the eyes. "Okay. Prove you love me...open a vein and bleed your heart for me. Maybe then I'll believe you love me."

My eyes widened but I pulled out the pocket knife I always carried and hesitated before slicing from my wrist to my elbow. Tears welled in my eyes from the pain but I forced them back and looked at him. "Do you believe me...?"

He stared at my bleeding arm in disgust. "Can't believe you actually did that you freak." And he walked out...

...

Over and over my worst memories kept replaying, each time worst than the last. How could I conquer what destroyed me? My father abused me and my mother, I was raped, my first love made me to slit my wrist, my best friend was murdered...there was no getting over any of that, no forgetting it...conquer it? How? How can I do that when everytime I even think of such things I just cry and cry?

I closed my eyes and curled up into a ball, wanting to disappear.

My daughter, Selene whispered to me.

What do you want?

They are but memories...painful indeed...but daughter, you're okay now. You are a rare, powerful, and beautiful creature...embrace what you are now...and not what will hold you back...

Shut up! You may have seen the memories but you didn't actually live them!

Lucinda, say goodbye to your fears lest they take over and control you...

I don't care anymore...I thought I could at least block all those memories from my mind but now they're being shoved down my throat.

You can't escape or truly forget them...embrace them. Those events have carved you into what you are now, what have helped lead you to your new friends and beloved shinobi...

I hated it but her words made some sense. All I could do was accept...and move on.

Opening my eyes the memories had stopped playing over and over. Once again I was in the pitch black room in Grey castle. I slowly stood and retraced my steps back to the door, grateful it was unlocked. I had completed the third trial. I had...accepted my past.