When the chips were down, Patrick was desperate for a date. He didn't think about it often, but when he did, he thought of nothing else.
His chosen dame-catching method was somehow typical of him. He asked random girls in the street what a particular cloud look like; they'd say "a flower", guaranteed.
"Really?" he'd reply. "I could've sworn it looked like - " here he described the female in question – "sucking off a starfish in green shorts."
Then he'd get an ice-pack or band-aid for the subsequent bruises.