Chapter Twenty

After the disaster of a meeting with Ethel's parents Ada had to think of something else in order to help her troubled pupil. She had promised Esmeralda she would come up with a plan B and she had. She thought Ethel should see a therapist. Esmeralda liked the idea but the problem was getting Ethel to go to the meeting.

Currently the two oldest girls were sat in Esmie's room as Esmie told Ethel about the therapist.

"I am not seeing a therapist I am not mental." Ethel said quietly still really suffering.

"I know that Ethie, no-one is saying you are but it might help you. I will tell you what if you go to one meeting then decide you don't want to go to anymore I will not push you." Esmie told her knowing pushing her would not help, she had to want to get better herself.

"Alright...if it will stop you nagging." Ethel replied sad after the meeting with her parents went so badly.

A week later on Friday night after lessons Ethel was stood outside Ada's office for her first meeting with the therapist. She was really nervous but tried to keep herself calm. Ada came out after talking to the therapist for a few minutes and told Ethel she could go in. Ethel pushed open the door and stepped into the office.

"Hello Ethel, my name is Sandra Cauldronhead, please take a seat." the woman said kindly. Ethel took a seat on one of the comfy chairs the staff normally sat in and took a proper look at the woman.

She had curly brown hair and a pair of red glasses on her face. She was wearing a grey suit and had a notepad and pen ready. The woman could tell the blonde girl was nervous.

"Just try to relax, there is no pressure for anything. I am just going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer them as best as you can, or if today you don't want to talk that is okay too." Sandra said trying to relax the girl.

"So Miss Cackle tells me you have a very strained relationship with your parents is that true?" Sandra asked wanting to hear from the girl herself.

"They hate me." Ethel replied with a shrug not going into detail.

"And why do you believe that?" Sandra asked needing to know what made the girl think that.

"They don't bother with me only my sisters, they treat me much differently to them." Ethel replied quietly.

Sandra looked down at her notes in concentration reading the information about her patient.

"Your sisters are Esmeralda and Sybil is that right?" Sandra asked clarifying.

Ethel nodded confirming that was correct.

"Can you explain in what ways you are treated differently?" Sandra asked her next question.

"Well...they totally blank me most of the time, they never show up to anything important if it is to do with me and they are always comparing me to the other two." Ethel stated still very quiet when she answers.

Sandra wrote down what Ethel said as she listened to the girl talk.

"And how would you say you get on with your sisters? Does this different treatment affect your relationship with them?" Sandra asked wanting to get deeper into how it was all affecting her.

"Well Sybil and I fight a lot but it is normally just bickering, we are only a year apart so we find it hard to get along a lot of the time. I would not say she hates me though." Ethel replied telling her how she viewed her relationship with her younger sister.

"Esmie and I get on quite well most of the time, we are close, though I push her away a lot." Ethel admitted to the woman.

"And why do you do that?" Sandra asked curiously.

"I don't know, I guess I feel a bitterness towards her for being the oldest, and she is perfect at everything and nothing ever goes right for me." Ethel replied sadly.

"So do you feel compared to her a lot?" Sandra asked as she got that impression.

"Yes, everyone always compares us, I am Esmeralda's little sister, or the disappointing Hallow." Ethel replied with a sigh.

"So you feel like you are always in her shadow?" The woman asked needing more detail.

"Yes because I am, even if I do something well it doesn't matter because she did it first." Ethel replied in a sad voice.

Sandra nodded writing on her notepad.

"You know I am a middle child myself, it can be hard being in the middle so I do understand that." Sandra told her expressing how she had found it hard to be in Ethel's position.

"I bet your parents loved you though." Ethel replied shrugging again.

"How would you say your relationships are with others, teachers, classmates?" Sandra asked seeing how she was with others outside her family.

"Alright I suppose, my classmates and I don't get on very well though." Ethel replied honestly.

"Why is that?" Sandra asked her intrigued by what she was saying.

"Well I guess it is because I can be mean to them sometimes." Ethel replied not really bothered if the woman judged her as she was used to getting judged for bullying people.

"Do you pick on people because it makes you feel better to see someone else suffer?" Sandra asked making sure she did not sound judgemental at all.

"I suppose...I like seeing other people suffer instead of it being me and I suppose I panic. I don't think I fit in and just say something mean to cover up how I feel." Ethel replied sharing the truth. She had not spoke properly in weeks so she was not sure why she was suddenly revealing all to this woman.

"Oh so you feel like you don't fit in?" Sandra now asked happy to be finding out more.

"Yes, I don't know I always feel different." Ethel admitted to her.

"To me it seems you are not happy with yourself would you say that is a fair statement?" Sandra asked wanting to know what the girl felt.

"Yes that is true." Ethel replied agreeing with her.

"How do you feel about yourself?" Sandra asked probably the most important question.

"I feel like an outsider, like I am not as good as everyone else and that I will never achieve much." Ethel replied honestly.

Sandra nodded as she saw the clock. The hour was already up.

"The hour is up already Ethel, thank you for talking to me today now there is something I want you to do for me for the next session." Sandra started sharing what she wanted her to work on.

"What is that?" Ethel asked sounding a bit worried.

"I have noticed you are very hard on yourself and seem to have lost your own sense of self identity so I want you to write down a list of as many things as you can that you like about yourself." Sandra told her giving her an assignment. Ethel nodded.

"You also seem to think everyone is against you, I want you to write a list of all the people you believe love or care about you." Sandra told her providing her with a second assignment.

"Alright...thank you." Ethel replied as she got up to leave the room.

"How was it?" Esmie asked as her sister came out of the room.

"It was okay...maybe you were right." Ethel replied quietly.

Esmeralda smiled at her sister hoping things were finally going to start looking up.