Standard: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight, but gosh darn i just want one day (or night preferably) with Edward!! a special shot out to my favorite reviewer of late: tayloredwardcullen!!! Thank you for all the reviews!!!

Chapter Title: Deserving Better

(Epov)

She just stood there looking out into the crowd; she was scanning it in search of someone. The once dimmed lights became bright and abundant. I could see her as clear as day. And with Rose and Alice jumping up and down like crazed lunatics, it took both Jasper and Emmett to keep them from falling over from their current positions. Bella looked over to Alice and Rose and was beaming. Things then got worse as she eyed over Jasper, Emmett and then me. The look on her face was of apparent shock.

Oh Shit.

Alice glanced over my way.

"It will be fine. Don't worry." She told me.

We all proceeded to sit down awaiting the results.

"Would the four groups of finalists please return to the stage ." A voice over the P.A. sounded.

I watched as Bella made her way onstage and stood next to two guys that were trying to get a little too friendly. I felt something in the pit of my stomach as I watched them continue to glance her over and over again. I was clenching my fists, trying to keep the beast down inside me.

"We would like to announce the winners or the talent show." The principal announced.

" Fourth place goes to Lauren Mallory, Jessica Stanley, and Rachel Evans." The voice started. "Third place goes to Megan Peters." I saw Bella begin to fidget by biting her lower lip and swinging her arms in haste.

"Second place goes to …..Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley." At this Bella's eyes began to get large in recognition of what she understood. Rose and Alice were already standing, hands held together awaiting the announcement….

"And the winner of the Forks High School 2009 Talent Send-Off is Bella Swan." Bella went to the center of the stage and received a trophy from her principal. She glared at it for a moment and then turned to the ever fervent crowd; she smiled and held the trophy up high for all those ready to see. She looked so amazing in this single solitary act.

I just continued in my admiring of her, but was abruptly shaken out of my dream.

"Edward, did you hear me?" Jasper said. He was pulling me by my sleeve.

"NO, what?" I said rather harshly. As I yanked out from beneath his grasp.

"Hey watch your bitchin', we need to get out of here now. Before everyone starts walking past us."

"Sorry, I.. I just." I started then started nodding.

"Hey I understand, just no need to snap." He responded, as we made our way to the back of the room through the doors.

I smiled to acknowledge.

We made our way down to the Hummer that was going to be towing us about town tonight. We made sure that Kate used our regular service to keep the vultures at bay.

After a few minutes of talk about how great Bella's performance was, the back auditorium doors opened. I knew that she would not be able to see us from her current position. I started chuckling as I spied her looking frustrated at not being able to track us down.

"Hey are you coming or what?" Alice screamed. As Rose and her were waving out of the sunroof.

"Yeah just let me get these heels off." Bella answered. She then proceeded to take her first heel of; jumping forward while trying to balance herself while completing the task. She looked so adorable.

The driver was at the door helping her with her entrance when I decided I have been away for far too long. I quickly snaked both my arms around her drawing her closer to me.

"Hey," she said as she laid into my chest. This felt so good, so right. I never wanted to let this go.

Then don't.

"Hey yourself, beautiful," I answered while I started kissing her neck.

"What are you doing here?" She asked while pulling away from my body.

"Well here, I am holding my beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, brilliant, smart, extremely stubborn," I kissed her nose with the stubborn declaration, and then continued, "talented girlfriend. What are you doing here?" I decided to have fun with her. I loved it when she got all agitated.

Loved.

"No Edward, what are you doing here, at my school, tonight of all nights?" She huffed. I could not help but smile at her certain perplexity.

I quickly bent my face down to her ear and gently kissed her earlobe before whispering. " Well a little birdie, that may or may not look like a pixie," I decided to play with her before I continued. " May have or may not have mentioned to me that there would be a performance of a hot, very hot, new talent that we needed to see."

"Alice how could you!" Bella screamed at her. It was such a loud shriek I had to cover my ears.

"What? Oh Bella, quit acting like a drama queen, you were awesome up there, just like I predicted. Thank you very much. Plus he wanted to see you sing, so get over it." Alice responded.

"Rose were you in on this too?" She asked.

"Bella, just stop everything was fine." Rose stated, as she continued to smile while Emmett was kissing her neck. Ew. That is just gross.

"Bella, you were perfect up there. Why didn't you ever let me hear you before this? I think, no I know with out a doubt that you are better than us." I inquired.

"Yeah, we could dump him and you could sing lead anytime. Is that not right, Jasper?" Emmett added.

"Bella, believe me. I would much rather deal with you then that whiney shit that you are sitting next to. You are defiantly more pleasant even on your worst days than he is on his best." Jasper said.

"Ha, ha, ha," I sarcastically answered. They loved to try to belittle me.

"Baby, are you going to let them talk to me like that?" I whispered into her ear as I began nuzzling myself into her neck.

"I think you are a big boy, and I know better than to interject myself into your family business." She joked at me. I began my feverous pursuit of her ever luscious neck.

"But really, Bella, no lying and joking all for Edward's benefit, aside. For us, doing this for a few years now, I do have to say that you could probably leave this town and go on tour or go record a record tomorrow with no problems." Jasper interjected, while she started pulling away from me. I instantly started missing the closeness.

"He is right you know? I said, "you could just pick up and leave and do this if you wanted. I could help. I, I mean we know tons of people that…" I was eventually cut off by Alice and Rose.

"You are not taking my best friend away from me." Alice huffed. I got to give it to the little gnome. She looked evil.

"Yeah, it is bad enough hat we only see all of you only every weekend. What happens when you have to go back to L.A., Do you think you are going to not only deprive us of not only you, but my sister as well?" Rose added.

I looked over to Bella trying to gage a response and she seemed lost in herself. She was dwelling on something that was said and not in a good way.

Was she thinking about possibly doing this for real? I think that she has the talent, I could certainly introduce her to the right contacts and everything. But would I want this life for her? I was just condemning her to my life. She is better than that. She is better than me.

Yes she is.

"Guys come on it was only two songs and.." Bella said.

"And you wrote, played the guitar and the piano and sang." I answered, smiling down at this creature in my arms. She was trying to downplay her actions, her capabilities, her talents.

"Plus did all the back up music." She whispered sheepishly.

"What?" All three of us exclaimed at the same time.

"I thought.." I spoke.

"No, I only had Ben help me with the drums, I rather hate percussion instruments and try to avoid them at all costs." She admitted.

"Wow," I responded and then continued, "I do have one absolutely amazing girlfriend." I was so proud of her and everything that she did tonight.

"I don't know about all that, but I do know that I am actually very happy that you came, even if I was enormously embarrassed to see you out in the crowd. I missed you." She said, then briefly kissed me, " I missed you so much."

"Bella Swan, what am I going to do with you? There is no reason for you to be embarrassed around me ever. You performing up there was wonderful." I told her and then pulled Bella in tighter to me and spoke, " I missed you so very much, Bella, so very, very much. I hate being apart form you for even a day." I leaned in and kissed her. This kiss was more powerful than the rest. I wanted to convey to her just how much she meant to me.

"We are really pathetic." She told me as we pulled away from each other to catch a breath.

"Yes, yes, you are." Emmett boasted, while rolling his eyes and gaining everyone's approval with that remark. Everyone but Bella and I.

"Oh, shut up Emmett, you are just as bad if not more with my sister." Bella said.

"Yeah Emmett you are really not one that needs to be talking about who is pathetic. Gross look at the two of you." Alice squealed in a disgusted tone for being subjected to their very open public displays of affection.

"Alice, dear Alice, we do nothing that is so shocking that you and my brother, Jasper have not flaunted in front of all of us innocent children." Emmett laughed.

"So where are we going?" She asked, quiet loud to get everyone's attention.

"Well, woman of the hour, where would you like to go since this is your night?" I inquired.

"Ummm… Ice cream?"

"Ice cream it is, love." I answered. I then informed Jeffery, our driver of our plans.

Love?

We all proceeded to get out at the local Baskin and Robbins.

"Don't tell me you rented out the local ice cream shop for tonight did you?" She asked. She was thinking back to our first date when we rented out the local theater in Port Angeles so we could avoid the Paparazzi.

"No, I did not know that you even wanted to come here, remember?" I answered. Bella then blushed with this information.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, Bella, that Jessica was having a party tonight, that is probably why we do not see anyone." Alice said.

"That explains my invitation being lost or not being sent at all." Bella remarked sarcastically. I went over to where my brothers were but was still within ear shot of the girls. I went ahead and ordered two sundaes for us.

"Yeah, sorry Bella, I think it probably has something to so with the fact that her boyfriend, Mike, is head over heals for you, and since she cannot stand any competition for his attention, would most likely be a problem." Rose commented.

"Whatever Rose." I could hear Bella answer.

"Think what you want, but is it not nice to know that if you and Edward do not work out that there is someone waiting in the wings?" Rose laughed.

What? Someone at her school wanted Bella? Not that I would blame them at all. I wanted her from the first moment that I laid eyes on her. And if we didn't work out? I really had no blueprint for where this was going yet, but I knew I just could not be with out her. I needed to figure my feelings out about all of this. And soon.

"Ohhhh, I think that he wants more than to wait in the wings for Miss Bella here, Rose. Give her more credit than that." Alice added.

"Rose you know that the same could be said about you, Emmett and Royce." Bella smarted back. I could tell that she did not like the conversation. That was something I learned about Bella pretty quickly. She liked to deflect.

"Okay, enough said." Rose spat back.

I decided that I could intrude upon them now after seeing the looks upon their faces. I quietly came up behind Bella with her sundae that she wanted. I wanted to talk to her about what the conversation that I just overheard.

"What is this 'if we do not work out' that I heard Rose talking about." I asked.

"Nothing just Rose trying to be funny." Bella said and then she stuck her tongue at Rose as she was eavesdropping on our conversation casually.

"How is that funny?" I asked. There was nothing funny about taking about my girlfriend having a back up plan if we didn't work out.

"Oh, I was just telling my baby sister about a certain admirer that has been pinning for her ever since the first day of Freshman year, and was joking with her about if the two of you did not work out, that it is nice to have someone to fall back on. Sorry Bella no pun intended." Rose interjected herself in our conversation. I guess that she thought it might help somehow? She was sorely mistaken. I looked at her and rolled my eyes. That had to be the stupidest excuse ever.

"What I was just joking. You know ha, ha. God, chill people." Rose stated, once she caught onto Bella's and my distaste for her unwanted comment.

"So is this someone that I need to worry about?" I turned to ask her. I was truly getting aggravated with her sister's assumption of our relationship. In no way did I find any of this to be a joke.

"No, no way, she is talking about this silly, silly boy named Mike, he is absolutely, one hundred percent harmless." She tried to reassure me. Maybe it would be better for her to be with someone else. The constant hiding has to be taking it's toll, and when the press gets wind of this, her life will get even worse. She deserves better than that.

She deserves better than me.

"Okay," I just said and got up to walk away from where we were sitting together.

"Edward, what?" I heard her ask from behind me.

"Nothing," I answered. I needed to figure this out. I do not want to be with out her, but how can this be fair to her. Once we go public and eventually someone will find out; that is inevitable. Her life will be over as she knows it. She will be followed, her privacy invaded, pictures constantly on the cover of rag magazines.

If I did love her how could I do this to her?

But are you strong enough to let her go?

"Edward, let us just be practical for one second. Can we? If anyone here needs to be worried it is me, not you." She stated and then walked past me to join the others. I did not want her to leave me yet so I grabbed her arm to pull her to me.

"Bella you are being preposterous, you have with out a doubt, nothing, and I swear, nothing to worry about." I informed her. I tried to pull her in closer to me, but she resisted. No one has been this close to me ever. If she was thinking that I would just drop her at a moments notice. I was not that guy. I needed for her to see how sincere I was. I lifted her chin so I could look into her eyes as I spoke.

"Bella look at me." I demanded.

"I am, Edward, I see it all, all of you, I see everything that is going on. At least I am being the real one here. You are you-Edward Cullen. I am no one. You have fans all over this damn planet. No one outside Forks even knows that I exist. You could have any woman that you want and I do not understand why you would want to be with someone as plain and average and…" What in the world is she thinking. She must be insane if she even thinks I would want anyone else but her. I decided to show her rather than speak so I just kissed her off in the middle of her ramble.

"Edward, I was…." She started then I discontinued her words.

"Bella, stop, just stop it, you are being so stupid." I told her and then walked away. I didn't want to fight with her, not over this. Not now.

"Oh, so now I am stupid." She said, I turned to face her. Big mistake; she threw her hands up in the air. I was getting angry at the situation and her illogical assumptions.

"About. This. Yes." I spat. The anger was just boiling.

"Well for your information, I think that you are stupid for wasting your time with someone like me. God Edward sometimes I feel like I am not even good enough to breathe the same air as you. " Bella stated and then for some bizarre reason started laughing. Then she went on, "I know what is going on, I. Am. Not. Stupid."

"Oh wise one, then tell me what is going on since I am apparently not on the same page as you." I challenged.

Maybe she truly is insane. Who would even think things like that. If anything, I am no where even good enough for someone as splendid as she is. My life will just taint her and ruin her. I am the selfish one here. I know what will happen and still I stay.

Because you love her.

"Well maybe-and I am just speculating since I really do not know what goes on in that mind of yours-that you are just with me because you are bored, and you just needed something or someone to occupy your time with while you are on your little hiatus. And then you will go away again on tour or whatever to L.A. or New York where all the 'beautiful people' live and you will forget all about me." She said, as she kept waving her hands all around in constant motion.

How could she even think like that; my life is no where even remotely boring. I have actually cut back on everything even more so I could be with her, spend time with her. It is a willing sacrifice that I would make over and over for her. I had no idea where this was going to go as of yet, but there is no way that I could forget her.

Not that I would want to.

If I had my choice I would take her away with me. Have her go to college there in L.A. and then have her go on tour with me. That would be so selfish of me.

She deserves better.

"Bella, love, I am not like that and you of all people should know that. You make it out like you are just some passing fancy. But you are not. I enjoy spending time with you. I cannot wait every day that you are at school until you get home so I can just hear your voice. And kissing you has to of become my most favorite hobby ever." I explained. She had to understand how important she was to me. I pulled at her arms to try to pull her closer.

"I have been told those same things by a person that I deeply cared for, only to be cheated on and tossed aside for the next best thing that threw her skanky ass at him. So right now where I am standing I have to be realistic and actually look down the road at what could and most probably will happen with you. See that's how I do not understand how you think I am being the stupid one, if anything I am being the 'prepared' one." Bella admitted. I fully thought that she was going to start crying.

She was right. Neither of us knew where this was going. I did not know what her expectations were. I knew what I felt: I was falling for her. But for what? For one of us to get hurt? Or grow apart? She would eventually want more from me, for us. I would get so into recording in L.A. that I might not speak to her for a couple of days, and then what a week, then two? She would be left wondering what I was doing.

I never looked for this, I didn't want this; a relationship. What do you do when everything you have ever wanted walks into your life: you covet it and head for the hills running.

I needed her, this much I knew. At what cost?

I cupped her face so she would look at me.

"Bella, do you not know…." I started but the words did not come out correctly. "Scratch that, can you not see or at least feel how extremely important to me you are? I have never and I mean never felt even one ounce what I feel for you for anyone else."

"Yeah right now," She whispered, pulling away from me.

I knew right there and then that we needed to figure this out. We both needed to figure out what we wanted.

"Damnit Bella stop, just stop it, stop all of this negativity about us. If you continue to think this way about you, me, this, us, then shit will happen." I told her.

"See now even you agree that it will happen. Let me ask you something, and be truthful with me, as in please do not spare my feelings. Edward what is going to happen later on this summer when you go back to L.A. to finish your record and I go to college? What then?" She asked me. She just stood staring me down, challenging me.

The truth? I didn't know, but was I stupid enough to admit that to my girlfriend in the middle of a fight.

What kind of dumbass do you take me for?

I just need to think this through and figure out what the right thing to do is. I do not want to complicate the situation by saying something that I might regret.

"Yeah that's what I thought." She said.

She took my silence as affirmation that she was right.

"Bella."

"Don't, just don't, I need to be alone and think about things. I can not do this again." She said as a single tear started falling down her already flustered cheek.

"No, what again?" I asked. What did I do?

"Well it is not actually again, at least I do not think so." Bella started saying then got lost in thought; like she had some sort of epiphany.

"What Bella, are you talking about?" I wondered out loud. She looked at me. Apparently bothered by my question.

"About falling," she said.

"Bella what is falling?" I asked. I had no understanding of where this conversation was headed.

"Me, falling, falling in love with some one, for them to just walk away." She admitted, she looked defeated for a second then pushed off from that thought with some internal confidence.

Wait, rewind. Did she just say love?

"Bella, what?" I questioned. I was a little taken off guard by her saying love.

Did she just… Does she mean?

"Edward, did you even hear what I said? I said I am falling in love with you. I. Love. You." She spoke, looking straight into my eyes with her admission. Her brown eyes where burrowing into mine looking for some solace

She just said she loves me, Bella is in love with me.

Oh crap.

I didn't think we were to the stage of saying 'I love you' yet. Shit I don't even … I …I just needed to figure this out. What and where this is going before we both get our hearts broken by something that may or may not ever come to be. What do I say?

"Bella, you can't…" I started and then she cut me off.

Note to self: Wrong thing to say.

"No forget it, forget all of it, forget everything." She spat as she turned and ran away from me.

What did I just do?

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I must of not been paying attention to all the spectators that had been watching. Not even one minute later Alice was running over to me with a worried look upon her face.

What am I going to do ? I just let her walk away. She told me that she was falling in love with me. That she loved me. I just stood there and said nothing. Nothing except trying to talk her out of it. Was I really ready for this? I have never been in a relationship before? How am I supposed to know if I am in love with her. I know I cannot stand to be a way from her, I love talking to her, I love kissing her , I love everything about her. I know that I was not ready to tell her yet. I had no freaking idea what was going to happen when I went back to L.A., or when she went to college. I know that I do not want to be with out her. She gets me, she understands me. I know her, every little quirk, every silly remark, all of it. And she loves me, she freaking loves me. I was quickly pulled away from my train of thought of how to fix this. I had no idea.

"Edward, what did you do? Why did Bella leave?" Alice asked, after watching her best friend walk off into the darkness.

"Nothing, I did nothing." I said while pinching the bridge of my nose with my eyes closed. I didn't lie, I was not trying to place the blame on Bella. I was a wrong. I did nothing.

"What do you mean 'I did nothing'?" She yelled at me. Her sudden volume increase startled me out of my stupor.

"Nothing, just leave me alone Alice. I don't want to talk about this right now." I answered back and than walked away.

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I had called Kate and asked for her to call a cab to take me home. After about three and a half hours from the time I let her walk away, I walked through my parent's front door. The lights were off, all except the ones coming from the kitchen. I walked in to see my mother pouring herself some tea. She was replacing the pot to the stove.

"Hi mom," I said, as I put both of my hands in my pockets and shrugged.

"Edward darling, what are you doing here? I thought you boys were at Bella's talent show tonight." She said with a apprehensive look upon her face.

I just looked at her and tried to give a timid smile in response, but I failed miserably.

"Edward, what's wrong? Why are you here?" She asked.

"We had a fight." I admitted and then looked away shamefully.

"About what?"

"She said she loved me mom."

"Oh Edward." She sighed.

We stood in silence for a few moments until she made her way over to me and motioned for us to sit.

"What did you say when she told you ?" She asked.

"I told her she can't." I revealed sheepishly. I felt as if I just commited a major sin.

"Why would you do that?"

I just shook my head.

"Do you love her?"

"I… I don't know." I whispered.

Liar.

"Well what happened when said that?"

"She told me to forget everything and then she walked away." I disclosed. I started ringing my hands together, focusing on the motion.

"I see, and how do you feel about all of this?"

"Well I'm upset mom, what do you think? I just let the first person that I cared about just walk away because I am too emotionally crippled right now to try to figure this out." I sighed and then got up to pace about the room then continued. " She asked about what was going to happen when I went back to L.A. and she went to school. I had no answer. I didn't know what to tell her. She thinks that I am just bored and that's why I am with her. That I'll move on and forget all about her, and then she told me she loved me. I was shocked mom, I just stood there. I wasn't expecting that at least not yet. She just stared at me and I told her she can't love me and then she just left. I couldn't even follow because I had no idea what to say." I told her. I stopped pacing just to look at her.

"Edward, I think you need to figure out what you want and talk to Bella. You two need to figure this out together. I know that your relationship is not a normal one, nor will it be once people find out." She started, but then I cut her off.

"But mom that's just it. She deserves better than that. She shouldn't have to worry about the rumors, the constant paparazzi following her, people digging into her past. She will get it ten times worse than Rose or Alice ever will and you know it." My mother just nodded in agreement.

"Edward, I want you to think long and hard about this one question and I will leave you to yourself." I nodded in agreement.

"How would you feel if she was out of your life for good?" She asked and then patted my hands before leaving the room.

I just sat on the couch looking out into the darkness as I pondered this.

I knew I was starting to fall for her, but I just couldn't tell her or even admit it to myself until after she left. I had to figure out away to keep her with me and also protect her from my life.

I had to figure out what was more important: Her life at peace without all the constant interruptions, or my selfishness.

If I truly love her, then I want what is best for her without seeking her out for my own selfish needs. I need to step back onto my own life and let her see what she thinks she loves. I am famous. I have fans. I am followed by lowlifes just wanting a piece of me all the time.

I'll just give Bella her space and I will think about what I should do. Lord knows I am the last person that she wants right now.

I know this because I let her walk away.

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OK every one whatca think? Please review and let me know!!! Let me just say that I am not especially happy with this chapter, but after changing it about five different times i just felt this was the best way.

The next chapter will be there time apart and Bella will be alittle hostile about this. please bear with!!! i love all the reviews and your support!! you guys keep me wanting to write!!