Chapter Twenty

The school year continued without John Winchester, and the weather began to warm. As the sun was seen more, Dean Winchester was seen less. Since John left the pair of Winchester boys, Dean put in an effort to give his brother and himself the best life they could for the time being; no monster hunting or research but food and a house that didn't threaten to collapse on them regularly. It was not everything, but it was more than Sam would have asked for.

To repay him, Sam did a lot of Deans homework. That, along with Castiels tutoring, was the only reason he was getting through his classes with Bs, and the odd A. Along with assisting his older brother and enjoying his new freedom, Sam was making a relationship. He was quiet about it, not sharing the mile long stories dancing behind his lips of late afternoons, moonlights, and gorgeous daylight hours. The heart fluttering, stomach twisting, mind blanking moments were his and Jess' to keep, and theirs alone. Surely Dean knew, his teasing told Sam that much, but he didn't know the details. Maybe one day that would chance.

Castiel felt, for the first time in his life, happy. He had picked up at job at the diner Dean works at and, while it wasn't much, it was enough to get him the necessities. He still had not come clean to his boyfriend as to why he needed the job. Somehow he kept the long, cold nights in his hide out a secret. Despite the struggles, he was happy.

"So you plan on wearing that through summer too?" Dean teased as he pulled on the sleeve of Castiels coat, grinning widely at his boyfriend who stood beside him at the lockers.

"It is quite chilly in school, Dean."

"Not trench coat cold."

"Dean, this is my only coat," He reminded gently. He kissed his frowning boyfriend and shook his head, regonizing Deans concern. "Also, I enjoy wearing it. It is quite comfortable and reminds me of you."

"You say that like it's a good thing."

"It is. Very much so; I enjoy being reminded of you." His blue eyes smiled without his lips twitching and it brought a wide grin to Deans flushed face. "Although it is not normally nessary, seeing as you're usually on my mind anyway."

"Flattery will get you nowhere." Dean whispered in teasing as he pressed a long kiss to his lips. Slowly the pair had become more open in the halls of school and the people around them had come to accept it; or more so deal with it. Dean did not deal well with bulling and Castiels football fit muscles were often menacing.

Football, thankfully, was over. The last game had passed months ago and Castiel was thankful for its ending. As a senior, he did not have to go to training afterschool, which was starting up once again to prepare for next season.

However, Castiel had received word to be in the locker rooms this evening to receive something coach wanted to give him. He was not aware practice was even occurring for the boys this evening and figured the coach, like all members of any high school, would be eager to return home. However, the small rising junior was trustworthy and he decided to stay after to see what was happening. Dean held harsh opinions and encouraged Castiel not to attend, only giving in when his lover agreed that Dean would stay after with him and keep in close distance to the locker room. This was the reason behind Dean carrying his gun to school for the first time in months. During the day it hid in his Impala, but he pulled it from the careful hiding spot under the floorboard in the back, which was created by a younger version of himself and Sam years ago, and slipped it into the waist band of his well-worn Levi jeans. This occurred after the last bell rung and Castiel walked with him before the pair made their way towards the gym locker room in the nearly abandoned halls of the school. The sound of the band practicing echoed and a few classrooms held kids making up assigments, tapping pencils audible in the halls as well.

"You sure you can't just go check in with him in the morning?" Dean asked as they came to the locker room door. Castiel had forced Dean to agree to stay outside of this door unless any struggle was herd. Coach was not fond of non-players in the locker room after school hours.

"Dean, its fine. Honestly, you worry far too often. " Deans outgoing words were cut off behind his lips as Castiel pulled him by his shirt front and kissed him. "I will be fine. Realx."

Dean Winchester could not relax as he watched his boyfriend enter through the doors in front of them and he was left behind to wait. He texted his brother to pass time, see where he was.

Hanging out with Jess. Why? Everything OK? Need me home? Was the speedy reply from Sam, which brought a smile to Deans face.

Everythings good. Just checking. Need condoms?

THIS IS WHY I DON'T TEXT YOU BACK!

Love you too. Stay safe, Sammy.

I hate you.

Sadly, the conversation did not calm Deans nerves as much as he had hoped.

Inside the locker room, Castiel was finding Dean had reason to worry.

He had just stepped into the open rows of lockers when hands grabbed ahold of him with tight grips and a cloth entered his mouth, gagging him. He struggled, but the hands had too strong of a grip. It was a blur of faces of his old teammates with grinning looks as he was pushed back and held onto a bench. He continued to struggle but the metal loops hurt his back and he found the struggling was only causing the grips to tighten. He did not stop in his efforts but focused them more on his gag rather than freeing himself.

"Castiel. You do look far better gagged, I must admit." The voice was low, cool, and recognizable. The image shot into Castiels head was clear and sharp. It stung it like a bee.

Anna.

He struggled against the restraining hands in his shock, making a sound against his gag as the redhead came into view. Panic and rage rose in his chest and he continued to fight.

"Shh, come now. This will go over much smoother if you do not fight." She spoke lowly and that gave Castiel the hint; they knew Dean was outside the door. All he had to do was make a loud enough noise and Dean would come busting in.

"Look Castiel, I don't want to date you. But we can't have you just… walking around the way you are. I can fix you." As she spoke, she started to undress his legs, which were held down by two of his past teammates that he did not speak with often.

Did they all hate him so much? Only because he found happiness and love for the first time in his life with someone of his own gender?

Was this truly something that needed to be 'fixed'? Through raping him? As if sex was some magic postion, even if it was forced down his throat? He was sickened at the thought.

He stopped fighting, however. Let it happen. He decided in the midst of Annas monologue of how she was "wronged" by him. It's not the worst thing to happen, and at least they'll leave me be.

His boxers were gone and the sick feeling in his gut had worsened, yet he did not struggle. He felt discusting, as if he was the wrong party here, instead of the wronged. He blocked his thoughts out before they could increase, numbed himself to the point that he could hardly feel her long fingers scraping along his skin. Words were muffled in his ears as he herd his teammates spoke, argued in hushed-he assumed they were hushed-voices.

Ice cold air hit the skin that was once covered by his boxers as they were removed. The feeling rose goosebumps on his pale thighs but he could not be bothered by it. His mind was blank. He was 9, back in his house. His uncle hit him for the first time. Hard slap across the face. Smack! He was stunned. Unsure what to do. Head reeling. Had that happened? Did he imagine it? Why would he-Smack! His uncle was yelling at him to do something. Mind buzzing. Nine planets in the solar system. 5,280 feet in a mile. Smack! More yelling. Block it out. 365 days in a year.

Now Castiel was doing the same thing. Standard knowledge, useless factoids, and little thoughts of Dean floated in his head as he waited for the horror to be over. He was so zoned out that when he snapped back to the sound of his name being called, he was stunned to find that no hands were holding him and Dean was in front of him. Silently, he wondered how long Dean had been trying to get his attention. He didn't get the chance to ask as Dean threw his arms around him in a hug tighter than he had thought possible.

"You're safe. You're totally safe, baby. Are you okay?" The concern in his voice was almost overwhelming, but Castiel was still stuck in the numbed place. He blinked his wide blue eyes, adjusting to the light as Dean untied the gag. The locker room was empty except for Dean and himself. There were skid marks from shoes on the way out the door and Castiels clothing was piled at the side of the bench, except for his shirt which was still on his body. Beside it lay a pair of Annas underwear.

Panic shot though Castiel and for a moment he was only happy to feel something.

Then it was nothing, again. He could not remember what had happened and he was not awear of Dean attempting to talk to him now. Finally, he herd his boyfriend sigh and stand up.

"Come on, lets get you out of here."

Dean had never seen Castiel look so…empty. It terrified him. Silently he helped his boyfriend dress and had tucked the girls underwear into his back pocket-evidance, he figured, in case Cas wanted to turn them in. He wanted Cas to because he wanted justice, but he knew that he had a gun and that alone could lead into a lot of trouble. Still, evidence.

They made it to the car in silence and Cas still had the faraway look on his face. At first, Dean attempted to talk, even small talk, but he got no response from his partner. Eventually, he gave in. He drove in silence and, when they arrived at his house, walked Cas in in silence. There was no words from the teenager for hours on end, leaving his boyfriend to think of the last words he HAD her Castiel speak.

I will be fine. Relax.

Dean was pissed. He had only been this angry one other time in his life, when his dad hit Sam. He wanted to kill. He wanted to rip something apart, something that deserved it, piece by piece, and inflict the pain he was feeling onto something else-anything.

But he would not leave Castiel. Not for a moment. He had him sat on the couch and kept an eye on him the entire time. He would speak, ever so often, so Castiel knew, if he was listening, that he was not alone. Even when Dean was cooking dinner, a task he normally lost himself in, he kept an eye on Cas.

How could someone do that to anyone, he wondered. Something so sick and defiling. It made him sick to think of it, and it also added to his anger. Eventually he turned on AC/DC to give him something to listen to, to distract himself with. He kept it low so Castiel wouldn't be disturbed.

Sam came home and gave an odd, questioning, concerned look to the boy sitting on his couch stairing in to space who did not respond to his normal greeting. Thankfully, he didn't ask any questions after getting a shake of the head from his older brother, and even took his food up to his room. Dean figured there was a few reasons for that besides being kind enough to get out of his and Cas' way, one of the having something to do with the way Sam was holding his jacket to block his crotch.

Dean ate dinner beside Castiel and made a plate for his boyfriend which went untouched. Castiel did drink something and nibble on a bun at Deans request, but that was the only movement the entirety of the evening, including the hours after dinner they sat together, Dean reading, or failing to, and glancing up at his boyfriend ever few seconds. Eventually, however, he had to call it a night. Not only did exhaustion weigh on him, but he did not think he could sit beside Castiel who looked so empty, without breaking down, and he did not want his boyfriend to see him cry. He stood and announced his plan to his lover before making his way out of the room, pausing for a moment. He left, with a heavy sigh, after Castiel did not speak, and stopped when he got to the doorway as he heard a tiny, broken voice.

"Dean?"

The response was immeadate, Deans hunting skills kicking in as he turned on his heel. "Yeah, Cas?"

"I… Don't recall what happened.. Could you…"

Deans ass was back on the couch before he could count to two. "You…wanna talk about it?"

"Just tell me what happened." Castiel asks, shaking his head at Deans question and looking up at his boyfriend with pleading sky blue eyes that took Deans breath away, like every other time he saw them.

"Well.. You were taking a long time so I went in there to see what was going on. And you were on the bench with like six guys holding you and Anna had her skirt pulled up and was about to…" He drifted off, not sure what words to use. The thought of the scene sent rage flaming through his veins which was almost painful. He was certin that his skin would be unbearably hot upon the touch, but Cas took his hand with no problem, and squeezed.

"But she hadn't..?"

"No. And she didn't get a chance to." Deans words were a growl and he forced himself to breath deeply for a moment to calm down. "I whipped out my gun and pointed it at her, demanded to know what was going on. Two of the guys fled immeadly but the one, the idiot that was there the other time we were in the locker room, pulled out this pistol of his own. He started yelling and screaming and at this point Anna had moved and the guys had let go of you but you were so out of it…" Dean drifted off for a moment, shuddering at the panic he had felt in that moment, unsure if Cas was even there anymore. "But I had to get him to shut up so I sorta…fired off a round into his wrist. He dropped the gun and they scrammed." He paused and looked back over to his boyfriend, who at least looked more like himself again. He almost smiled at Deans confession of shooting a kid. Almost.

Castiel was finally starting to think of the afternoons events. "They grabbed me when I went in." He whispered to Dean, his eyes focused down on his shoes. "Pinned me down; I don't know who was all there, I didn't bother to look really. Then Anna came out and started…talking about how disgusting I was, and how I needed to be…to be fixed." The words were rocks in his throat, logged in his windpipe to seal his breath away from him. He took a deep, long, shuddering breath as he started to think of it, of how they stripped him and mocked him, muffled words appearing in his head that he had herd without hearing at the time. Castiel felt as though his skin was crawling, itching with unease. He felt sickened, not by the events but by his own self. He pulled back from his lover and seemed to fold into himself, kneels pulled to his chest. "I kinda just…tried to block it out." He couldn't bring himself to look back at his boyfriend, who undoubtly would be blaming himself for Cas pulling his hand back.

"Castiel. Look at me." Deans voice was strained, sharped, an order that was not to be questioned, but Cas could hear the shaking terror behind it, the panic. Dean Winchester, the man who shot someone in the wrist to save Cas, who got beat up by the football team without even flinching to protect his sibling, the flat out bravest person Castiel knew, was reduced to voice shaking terror because Cas wouldn't look at him.

This pulled Castiel out of the cowering panic he felt rising in his chest long enough to turn his wide blue eyes to his boyfriend.

"What they did was wrong. It was sick. But it was not your fault. Listen. Not. Your. Fault." Each word was short and to the point, as if trying to pound the thought into Casitels head. The teenager attempted to absorb the words, let them fill him as the words spoken by his teammates had. "Come on Cas… Don't lock yourself away."

Castiel pushed his way into Dean Winchesters arms, clinging to him much like a child would. Dean let it happen without complaint as Cas tucked his face into Deans neck and let loose sobs that could only be described as broken.

"You're safe now. You're okay.." Dean whispered words of comfort to Cas as he cried, tucked into Deans side. It hurt Dean to hear the person he had fallen so in love with to sound so injured, so lost. Finally he started speaking of the pain in his life, as if that could take away from the pain in Castiels. He spoke at length about loosing his mother when he was younger and how his dad went nuts and became abusive, how Dean took all of it for Sammy. How it was his fault Sam got lost that one time, or ran away from home. Dean Winchester, the loner, found himself spilling his life story to this boy who had changed his entire life. He spewed emotions and stories he had hardly even admitted to himself, much less anyone else.

It wasn't for a long while that he realized Castiel had stopped crying and was sitting in silence listening to Deans tales of tragedy. He was stunned at how much pain could be shoved into one person who still smiled with such glee at times, constantly joking at everything. Dean eventually stopped talking and Castiel sniffled, the room falling into silence.

"My parents kicked me out." The words were rocks with a mind of their own, falling out from between Castiels lips without his permission. "They found out I was gay, Lucifer told them, and they kicked me out. That's why I've been living in that shack. I didn't want you to worry so I-"

"You're moving in." Deans words were final, yet Castiel challenged them.

"No, Dean. I-"

His lips crushed Castiels, cutting him off mid word, mid-sentence, mid breath, mid thought. He crashed into Castiels self loathing feeling the same way he crashed into his life; fully without warning, infecting him in the most beautiful way, saving him.

Dean Winchester thought through the months he had held Castiel to him, the way he had fallen in love with this jock who never should have expressed interest in some new loner. He thought of the darkness in his life that disappeared around Castiel, the way he felt as though he could make something of himself, even something small. He thought of how Castiel had saved him.

Sam sat alone in his room, his girlfriend having passed, halting their conversation two hours prior. He could hear the vibrations of Deans and Castiels voices from the living room, but could not make out the words. He thought of how his life had changed so distractedly in this small town that should have gone down like all the other towns the Winchesters had passed though; forgotten and unknown in their rearview mirror. Within the few months they had spent in their shack of a house, he had felt freedom for the first time, happiness, love from a source other than Dean. He felt safety for the first time, not having to hear the sick sound of a fist on skin or of their fathers slurred words as he beat his eldest son and Sam cowered in his room. It was not perfect, nor was it forever, but for now, Sam was happy.

Dean and Cas ended up falling asleep together on the couch, but Dean helped Cas move in the next day. The two were sickeningly cute together, but Sam wouldn't admit that just like they would not admit it to each other. However, the third wheel feeling was just a little too strong when the pair of them broke off into a kissing brake ever few minuets, so Sam abandoned the spring cleaning they were attempting to go out with Jessica.

It wasn't until late afternoon when Dean and Castiel sat in the kitchen, eating, that they started to speak of the previous day.

"You have to turn them in." Dean insisted, almost casually as he took a bite of his sandwich. "They're skumbags, Cas, and they can't get away with this."

"Dean, you had a gun. If I report them, you will get in trouble as well. Also, the underwear don't prove anything. All we have as evidence is our word and they may not believe us over them."

"Why not! They don't have a reason not to! Cas come on, you've gotta-"

"No." Castiels voice was sharp and it startled Dean slightly at how determined he was. "Dean please, I just want to forget the entire thing happened. I do not wish spend hours fighting for some sort of justice. They will not bother me again."

"What if they do, Cas? What if they come after you again and I'm not there!" Deans voice had risen, and it echoed around the room, seeming to clear away the white noise. His face was pulled into an angry scowl but Cas saw the terror in his shining green eyes. "I don't want that to happen, and I won't. Just go to the police, get them out of your life for good." Dean couldn't help but be reminded of all the people he had saved through the years by getting monsters out of their lives. He had to do it for Cas, too.

"Dean, let me forget it. Please." Castiel sounded exhausted and, although he could see how much it meant to Dean, he couldn't bring himself to want to go through trials and fight for months when this could be over now, done with.

"Cas.."

"Dean, you are worried, and that's natural. But I can't bring myself to go through so much when it can be over now. Please, Dean. I will never ask anything of you again."

Dean looked hurt for a moment. "Castiel you can ask anything of me, always, but this."

"This is what I am asking."

Silence settled between them. Dean finally let out a heavy sigh and nodded.

"I'm not saying I'll forget it but… for now, I'll drop it."

"I will take that." Castiel set his sandwich down on his plate and stepped over to Dean. He pressed a long, soft kiss to already swollen lips. Dean dropped his own food back on the plate and rested his hands on Cas' waist, pulling him closer and letting his eyes close as he indulged in the kiss, the sweetness of his boyfriend. When they broke off from their kiss, Dean pressed his forehead to Castiels, his hands framing the teens face.

"I'm sorry." The words were quiet, gentle, as if afraid of shattering the air around them. Castiel shook his head, firmly.

"Don't be. Ever. I love you, Dean Winchester."

"I love you too, Castiel Novak."

The both had come to hate their own last names, the words leaving bitter tastes in their own mouth when they spoke. Hearing them from eachothers lips, however, seemed to leave a different sound to the surname. When they pressed their lips together for another kiss they found no bitterness on each other's tongue. Only love.