AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hey readers! I missed all of you, hope u missed me too and of course this story, I know I took forever to update, and you're basically cursing me for not updating soon enough, and also making chapters longer, sorry for the short chapters. Maybe I just really wanted to tease you a little, making you, my readers, want for more. lol. And u really want for more, ryt? So, please bear with me for not updating soon, and for the short chapters.

So, as always, I want to share something, it's really difficult to fall in love with a straight girl especially if she's your friend right? And that friend of yours, was apparently a homophobe. Well, this is exactly what's happening to me. I just realized that I'm falling for my friend. And I really hate to admit it. First, I like girls which are more beautiful than me. I'm a closeted femme and I'm attracted to femme type with long straight hair. And she's not that even beautiful, I mean, she is but she's not that pretty, I'm prettier actually, haha! She just have this appeal that makes her pretty. And she doesn't even have a long straight hair which I have. Second, she controls me. Usually I'm the one being in control but ryt now, she CONTROLS me, literally. Third, she doesn't even know I'm gay, as I said, I'm still in a closet, so apparently, she had no idea that she made me smile in a more than friend kind of way.. She's also a bitch like Santana, so maybe because of Santana, I'm now attracted to girls with bitchy attitude.

I know, it's too complicated, well, it just started when our hands held each other subtly, and I felt my heart beats faster, at that time, I already knew the feeling. I cursed under my breath, I wasn't expecting this to happen, and I hate myself for feeling this way towards her. It's just too damn complicated.

Well, anyway, thanks for reading my notes, so I hope you enjoy this chapter.. =)

CHAPTER 20

BRITTANY saw Santana near the beach; it took her a while longer before she approached her, she can feel her heart beating faster that's why it took long enough for her to calm her nerves.

This is the moment wherein she will confess her feelings for the beautiful brunette. This is going to be difficult for her. She knew Santana never liked girls before, she knew she's straight. Well, yeah, they're having sex but maybe, Santana was only curious about it, or maybe Santana only looked at her as a science experiment.

Falling in love with a straight girl is very difficult, Brittany knew that. Straight girls are a big no-no for her, until she met Santana. There's something about Santana and she can't help herself not to fall in love with. Love? Yes, she's inlove with Santana, hopelessly madly in love with her.

With all the courage she gathered in herself, she walked towards Santana.

"Hey. Can I join you?"

Santana turned around, and their eyes locked.

She's so beautiful. Brittany thought.

"Of course, Brit." Santana said then smiled at her.

"Uhm. Sorry."

"For what,?" Santana asked her.

She took a deep breath. "For what happened earlier, with Quinn."

She saw Santana creased her eyebrows before answering, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Well, I still feel that I need to say sorry, San. Just accept it, please." She pleaded.

Then with a smile, "Okay, apology accepted for whatever it is." Santana held her hand, "Come here, Brittany."

Then they held each other's hands and walked slowly near the beach, both of them not saying a word, just savouring the feeling of their hands interlocked.

Brittany felt butterflies in her stomach as she held Santana's hand, her heart beats faster again.

She turned to Santana, "San, I need to tell you something."

Santana stopped walking, turned to her, waiting for her to tell something.

"Uhm… San…" Brittany took a deep breath before she continued, "Rachel and I, we're not really in a relationship. I'm sorry if I lied to you." She lowered her head, waiting for Santana's reaction.

"Why did you do that, Brit?" Santana spoke in a very soft voice, as if not surprised.

Brittany looked into Santana's eyes again, "I don't want you to feel sorry for me. You apologized for leading me on, and I had to save my pride, San. That's why I thought of this idea in an instant. I'm sorry."

She never took her eyes away from Santana, watched her reaction, if she's mad at her or not, but all she could see was a smile from Santana's lips.

"Are you mad, San?" she can't help but be worried even if Santana was actually smiling at her.

"Nope. I'm just glad that you told me the truth, Brit."

Seeing Santana's reaction, Brittany touched her face slowly, and she cupped her chin, forcing the brunette to look at her straight into the eyes. "I think I'm inlove with you, Santana. No. Erase that, I AM inlove with you. I don't know if I'm just an experiment for you, I don't know if you feel the same way, I don't care if you just want me for sex, as long as I can be with you, it doesn't matter actually. I just want you to know that…" she said breathlessly but was interrupted by Santana as the brunette reached for her neck and kissed her.

Brittany opened her mouth as Santana forced her way inside her using her tongue. She held Santana's waist, pulled her closer, as they kissed passionately.

"I love you…" She whispered between kisses.

But instead of Santana whispering the three magical words to her, she heard her alarm clock. She groaned as she realized that it was just a dream. A fucking dream!

Brittany threw the alarm clock on the floor. Frustrated, she reached for her blanket and covered herself, closing her eyes as she wished to go back to sleep and continue to dream about Santana.

But she can't sleep anymore. Her mind drifted over to the events that led her to this dream.

She decided to give it a shot. She decided to confess her feelings for Santana. She had a go signal from her cousin Quinn, and she won't waste it.

She saw Santana sitting on a huge rock, arms embracing her knees. Wind blowing on her gorgeous black raven hair.

"Hey San."

Santana turned her head at her, and smiled, "Hey Brit."

"Uhmm. I've been looking all over for you." She said softly as she sits beside her.

"Why?" Santana asked.

Suddenly, she was speechless, she just smiled at Santana. Can she really confess her feelings for this brunette? What if Santana doesn't feel the same way? What if Quinn and Rachel were wrong? What if?

"Brittany? What's wrong?" Santana cut her thoughts.

"Nothing." She lowered her head. She should gather enough courage to tell Santana what she feels, but she's having difficulty choosing the right words. And another thing is, she's not used to rejection. She's afraid that Santana would reject her. In all of her past relationships, she wasn't the type of person who will confess her feelings first. Usually, she was the one receiving lots of love confessions. So, this is her first time and she's having difficulty expressing herself.

Then she felt Santana's hands interlaced with her fingers, she felt her heart hammered in her chest.

She took a deep breath; this is exactly the courage she needs, "San… I…"

"SANTANA!"

Both of them turned around to see who called Santana. Brittany's courage instantly dropped as she saw her cousin, Sam, carrying a big bouquet of roses. She felt Santana let go of her hand as she stands up. Brittany stands up too, and she felt a big blow in her heart when she saw, right in her own eyes, Sam kissed Santana on the lips.

"BRITTANY! Wake up!" She heard Rachel's voice as she grabbed the blanket she used to cover her head.

"I am awake, okay!" she yelled.

"Fuck, Brittany! You're having mood swings again? It's been like three days, and you still did not recover from your bitchy mode."

She groaned. Three days. It's been three days since she saw Santana Lopez. Not that the brunette wasn't trying to reach her. Santana, in fact, was calling her on her mobile for two days but she didn't answer any of her calls.

"Rache, I'm not in a mood. Can you please leave?" she said in a low voice.

"No. I'm not leaving you here alone again!" Rachel said, "Tell me, Brit, what really happened between you and Santana?"

"Nothing."

"You're not a good liar, Brittany, and you know that."

Finally, she stood up, "Let's not talk about it please, Rache." She said pleading. As she went to the bathroom, she heard her phone rang. She already knew the caller as she turned to Rachel who she caught staring at her phone, "Don't answer that!"

"FUCK BRIT! Why are you not returning my calls?" Santana said to herself while she stares at her phone. She didn't know that the blonde was this stubborn. She still remembered their last conversation after Sam, out of nowhere, arrived at the beach house.

She excused herself from her friends when she saw Brittany went upstairs. She had to talk to Brittany alone.

"Brit!" she called, thankful that the door wasn't locked. She opened the door and saw Brittany packing her clothes.

"What are you doing here, Santana?" Brittany said in a cold tone.

"I just want to talk to you." She locked the door and walked towards the blonde.

"Not now, Santana." Again, that icy tone of hers.

"You want to tell me something earlier before Sam came." She said, trying to catch Brittany's gaze. But she failed. The blonde wasn't paying attention to her at all.

"That was nothing. Just leave it."

She touched Brittany's face and forced her to look at her in the eyes. "Tell me, please." She whispered.

Brittany's blue eyes linger at her, but she felt that the blonde was giving her a cold stare.

Still, she didn't mind, she slowly leaned over to the blonde, closing her eyes as she made a move to kiss Brittany.

But… Brittany pushed her away, with that cold eyes and icy tone of hers, she said, "I will never kiss you again, Santana. It's like kissing both of my cousins. It's gross."

Santana, still shivered at that thought, she felt like a whore when Brittany told her that. She never felt degrade in her entire life. But she wants to explain herself to Brittany. But the blonde didn't give her a chance to explain about Sam and Quinn.

Once again, she dialled Brittany's phone but the blonde still didn't answer. She missed Brittany. Like a lot. If she didn't knew that Brit and Rachel aren't really together, she would die of jealousy.

She threw her phone on top of her bed and muttered, "Fuck! This girl is making me crazy!"