Ch 20: Edmund Hedges His Bets

"We thank you for the gift," said the giant king. "Lord Humrubble, please be certain that it is sent to the kitchen pantry. As you can see, Edmund of Narnia, we have no intention of carrying on with such bothersome details as parley."

Ed thought fast. Asha started edging away from him toward the door of the throne room, but Humrubble scooped her up. She squirmed and fought, but Ed had to admire that she didn't yell for his help. He knew by the look on her face that she didn't believe she'd receive it. He gauged the distance to the throne room door. He'd be no match for the ten to twelve giants in the enormous throne room--thirteen, if the king decided to enter into it. What he needed was--

Boom. Boom. Boom.

The giant king sat straight up in his throne at the noise outside. "Guards! See to that disruption!"

There was rather a lot of milling around after that, in which the giant lords and the guards all hurried out of the throne room. "Humrubble," shouted the king, "see that this ambassador of Narnia is shown proper Harfang hospitality."

Ed felt pretty certain that he'd be shown straight to their ovens. He put a hand on his sword hilt--by Aslan, he'd die fighting if he were to die at all--but Humrubble picked him up in one huge fist, pinning his arms to his sides, and tromped out of the throne room with him and Asha. Out of one large window, Ed caught sight of fireworks bursting madly in the sky.

Striving for his best show of calm (not easy when one is about to become tonight's main course), Ed said to Humrubble, "Tell me this isn't how you treat all of your ambassadors."

"I wouldn't treat them anyhow if I had my druthers," the giant grunted. "One's got to have a job to feed one's family, eh? Who knows how I manage that on this salary."

"Which is ...?" Ed avoided responding to Asha's astounded look. When Humrubble told him his rate of pay, Ed scoffed. "That's your wages? How big is your family?"

"My wife, myself, two little'uns, another on the way."

"You know," Ed said, "I do have a solution to that problem."

Humrubble eyed him as he tromped along. "I'm listening."

"Narnia could use a heavy guard like yourself. We certainly pay better for a family of five." He smiled, and Asha's mouth dropped open. "Cair Paravel's right on the sea. Excellent fishing."

Humrubble stopped walking then and Ed could see the wheels turning in the giant's head, calculating the cost of living for his family in Narnia as opposed to the dismal rate of pay a soldier got here in Ettinsmoor. Uncommonly smart, for a giant, Ed thought. He was glad he'd guessed right on the giant's disposition toward his job. Humrubble had mentioned a taste for seafood, as well as a dislike for Harfang's "blasted freezin' winters and roastin' summers."

Finally, Humrubble gave another grunt and resumed walking. "Have you ever tried to defect from an alliance? They hunt you until there's no rest, let alone a spot o' fishing."

Ed smirked. "Actually, I do know something about that." From the corner of his eye, he saw Asha snap her mouth shut. Humrubble's attention zeroed in again, and Ed made the most of it. "You'll have the full backing of the Narnian army, as well as that of our considerable allies. I doubt serving us for dinner will provide your family with such lasting satisfaction."

Humrubble paused, his face dark and beetle-browed, and Ed wondered if he'd pressed too far. But then the giant gave a roaring belly laugh. "What do they call you at home, King Edmund of Narnia, Duke and Count and Knight of somesuch? Awfully long name for a working man to remember."

"Just Ed."

"Well, Just Ed," Humrubble said with another booming laugh, "if it's you offering, then I'm accepting." He set Edmund on the ground and gave him a teeth-rattling thump on the back.

Edmund staggered a little. Asha gave him a frantic look. After a stern pause in which her expression grew more terrified, Ed nodded toward her. "About my ... er, gift to the king? I'm sure you feel that since he's rejected my offer of parley ...?"

Humrubble plopped her down as well. Asha stumbled and landed on the floor, her wrists still bound by his belt. Ed hauled her to her feet by its end. "Edmund," she began, "I--"

"Later," he interrupted. "Humrubble, how do we get out of here?"