Note: this part of the fill is mostly gratuitous - you can probably safely skip it. Also, in case you started reading way back when I started postinng here, the first time Sherlock called John was December 14th, after getting irritated with message board wars on relationship theories. Below, the thread.

To be honest I would have loved having readers weigh in with their own opinions, role-playing along. Oh well. Would have been SO fun.

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Welcome to London Dating, the site for putting 'relate' into relationships!

kittypink (2009/11/27) writes: Finding the One
It's like 'The Rules' say, ladies. There are times when it's best your partner finds out *later* what you are really like. You can't be yourself - time to pretend to be someone better, nicer, better dressed! Why? They can't handle the truth! So put on the slap, your best togs and show us your game face. 'Cuz it's war, and you need some tactics if you want to find and win the prize.

QTdaMighty(2009/11/28) : War. God is it ever. Time for that diet...

tall-dark&clever(2009/12/8) writes: I noticed this thread and wanted to comment. "The Rules" are an antiquated set of notions regarding the best way to find a mate. Really. 'Be a creature unlike any other?' Aside from the fallacy of being a 'creature', I would advise against what you propose. Be yourself - otherwise you are setting yourself up for unpleasantness. How can any partner be pleased with someone who has blatantly deceived them from the start? Also - you may want to consider your use of metaphor - I spent some time deciphering your message.

AltogthrNow(2009/12/8) writes: Plz. No one wants to see the 'real' you on a first meeting, much less the first date! Your partner wants to know you're making an effort - otherwise you look like you don't care what he or anyone else thinks!

kittypink(2009/12/8) writes: Excuse ME grammar Nazi. BTW, I only meant you have to look your best. And 'The Rules' say you should act kind, mysterious. Play a small role to keep him on the line. After you are married and sure of his love, then you can reveal yourself bit by bit.

tall-dark&clever(2009/12/10) writes: While I'll be the first to admit I enjoy mysteries, there are too many problems inherent in what you propose. I pity the person who is trapped by such ploys. Also, I was not correcting your grammar, merely questioning your phrase choice. Very idiomatic.

tall-dark&clever (2009/12/10) writes: Truth in Relationships.
To clarify what I am saying: In order for your relationship to be successful, it is self-evident that you be as forthcoming as possible before entering a commitment. Too often people who have some character defect enter a relationship without disclosing it to their partner. This is a mistake. If something is not right about you — you think you've got a bad trait or characteristic — it's going to come out eventually. You might as well be honest from the beginning.

kittypink(2009/12/10) writes: So you ought to be honest about your defects from the beginning eh? Then why "tall-dark&clever"? Shouldn't you be "fat-ugly&obnoxious" in that case? Hypocritical berk.

tall-dark&clever(2009/12/10) writes: There is no hypocrisy in my user name.

kittypink(2009/12/10) writes: *eyeroll* Likely story.

Angel43(2009/12/10) writes: FFS, God knows we've all got our problems. But don't put them out there right away! You have to lure them in with the good stuff first :-) Later you'll know if they can deal with your 'issues', or vice versa!

tall-dark&clever(2009/12/11) writes: You should not distort yourself to attract others, you are only lying to yourself if you do. Apparently the bulk of the female population willingly does so.

Angel43(2009/12/11) writes: WTF? Noone is perfect at first sight, so why shouldn't we try a little harder? Do you hate women? Is that your problem?

Xirtam(2009/12/11) writes: JFC since when did dressing up nice and being considerite = hiding defects and trapping with ploys? Your a piece of work, td&c. I doubt you would like the 'real thing' if you met it. I'd hate to see you on a date. I'd hate to run into you even casuallly in RL! Wanker.

Anonymous(2009/12/11) writes: Dont feed teh troll. Don't pet it. Just don't. lol

whotoseek(2009/12/12) writes: I think that TD&C and kittypink both have good points and they don't have to be in disagreement. KP says you have to be your best to find someone and TD&C says you have to be honest about yourself, even your faults before you commit to a relationship. I think you can be at your best in the beginning and then come to gradually know each other's flaws. Before you need to commit you'll have learned what you need to know!

AltogthrNow(2009/12/12) writes: How's that fence you're sitting on? Comfy? Mind if I join? *pulls out bag of popcorn*

whotoseek(2009/12/12) writes: *takes some popcorn* Tah! Anyway, to continue. You seem to be addressing women exclusively td&c - but the fact is, men are just the same. And when it comes to relationships there are times when hope overcomes reason, and we just want to it to happen.

tall-dark&clever(2009/12/12) writes: The level of hypocrisy continues to amaze me. You deceive your partner, who wants to be deceived and is therefore deceiving him or herself? Is that correct? Does anyone else see the problem here? I myself would despise such equivocation.

kittypink(2009/11/13) writes: You are the hypocrite! You have no clue about what makes a relationship do you!

tall-dark&clever(2009/11/13) writes: I know how relationships fail.

Anonymous(2009/11/13) writes: OMG U 2 R so cute! kittypink and TD&C stop flirting already and get a room! Tee-hee ;D

tall-dark&clever(2009/12/13) writes: ... I have no words for this.

kittypink (2009/12/14) writes: PISS OFF

bamboolkr (2009/12/14) writes: Typical useless internet convo - Can we move on to something more useful?

tall-dark&clever (2009/12/14) writes: I'm willing to test the opposite viewpoint. I don't think I'm wrong, however.

Angel43 (2009/12/14) writes: You do that. Alternatively, EADSU you arse.

Bamboolkr (2009/12/15) writes: Eat a dick... ?

Angel43 (2009/12/15) writes: Straight up.

Anonymous(2009/12/16) writes: LOL good one!

kittypink(2009/12/18) writes: Is that all? No witty comebacks? Where R U, squat-stupid&hypocritical?

Anonymous(2009/12/21) writes: Thank GOD. What an arse.

tall-dark&clever (2009/12/24) writes: *Edit* Truth in Relationships

The premise that one can present oneself to a potential partner with the intention of deceiving them in order to begin a relationship *is* plausible. However keep in mind that honesty is and continues to be the best policy in relationships. There are those who will definitely not appreciate your prevarication, no matter what kind, no matter your intentions.

But to maintain and deepen the relationship? It cannot be done. There will be inevitable upheaval and emotional distress when your lack of candour is found out. So again, be honest from the beginning.Otherwise, you will find yourself in a trap of your own devising, as I did.

If one has established a connection with another person under these circumstances, my congratulations! You've both managed a mutual level of oblivious self-deception unparalleled in the history of human relations! Even Iwas not able to - john john damn it damn it DAMN IT FFFfffdsaZDXS idiot

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Sherlock shut his laptop with a firm click, mouth tight. There was no time to address the problem - no, not a problem, John is not a problem. Not an experiment. But he needed to analyse what had happened, and better - how to proceed. Sherlock couldn't let it go, let John go like that. Interesting. Unprecedented.But again - no time. He had to deal with a 'happy' Christmas gathering with Mummy and Mycroft first - the inevitable aggravation and copious amounts of food forced upon him upset his thinking for days. Ah, well.

Be that as it may. Sherlock thrust his laptop into his overnight bag and leaned back against the sofa cushions, pressing his palms together. John. Why? He pressed the tips of his fingers between his brows into the frown line that appeared. A knock at the door interrupted his reverie and he gritted his teeth. Later. He picked up his bag, the violin (Mummy enjoyed having her boys play traditional Christmas pieces together), and strode out.