Satus novus-chapter 20

I don't own Twilight.

Recap:JPOV
I was secretly happy for the fact since it would be somewhat hard to explain what I was doing in his daughter's room this late at night.

BPOV
I woke up after a restless sleep which was full of nightmares. The crash continued to replay in my head; and I was amazed I never fully woke up. I guess luck was on my side.

The first thing that caught my attention was how bright it was. With a glance at the clock I realized it was already past 1:00. I'd have to thank Charlie for not waking me; although it was not calming I knew I was in need of some sleep.

The second thing that hit me was how cold I was. Usually I was nice and warm under the three blankets I keep on my bed year long. As I climbed out of bed I rubbed my eyes trying to become really awake. When my bare feet hit the carpeted floor, I looked down and noticed my dress was still on. Had I really forgotten to take it off? The better question to ask myself was, how did I even get home?

I'm pretty sure Charlie did not drive me. It took a moment but I soon noticed that I could not have gotten home alone. I remember Carlisle coming to check on me, after that nothing. I pushed that thought out of my head for a moment and walked towards the bathroom. I was in dire need of a shower.

Once inside my actions became somewhat robotic; turn on the shower, get a towel from under the sink cabinet, brush my teeth quickly. I was about to remove my clothes, when I realized I did not bring any with me to change into.

JPOV

Over the day I was watching over her; but from a distance this time. I would not be in her room when she woke up. Other than just being awkward, she did not need to know that I got her home last night. That would just bring up another round of questions.

After I saw her get out of bed and heard her turn on the shower I took my chance to go inside her room again. I would never admit to anyone that she affected me in a way not many humans could. It was somewhat painful to even think about it myself. I remember very clearly what happened the last night I lost control.

After leaving my mother's house I ran. Her cries continued to ring in my head and I needed a way to remove them. The quicker the better.

I ran to one of the only places I could; my father's grave. For the most part I just sat there. Being unable to cry was one of the first things I learned about this new life; other than having to drink blood for survival of course.

There was no way for me to release these feelings I have. The guilt I had was more powerful than anything else; I later learned that it was due to losing control of my powers.

Since time was no longer important I spend the next few hours on the floor next to my father. I leaned against the tombstone, and felt myself drown; not literally of course.

There where three things I learned that night. Killing yourself was no easy task; it did not matter if you were human or vampire. Vampires could actually get drunk; it does not phase your judgment, but it does make you relax and 'let lose'. Humans, especially of the female gender, where easy prey.

I was getting late, and although I never wanted to leave I made myself. If I had stayed the night I would convince myself it was a good idea to stay forever. Before leaving town I drank from my last human prey. She looked a lot like Bella, but with piercing green eyes.

Although I promised myself to be a gentleman, my human 'needs' where calling out; we where out of the bar quickly. I had barely been able to feel the starting effects of the liquor take hold; it seems vampire metabolism is slower than humans. Her pulse was beating fast and I was far to close to her neck.

As my instincts took hold, I bit down slightly on her neck hitting a major blood vessel. I don't think my prey minded; a better interpretation would be to say that she was not able to do anything to stop me even if she tried. Drinking was one of the worst experiences in my life. Yes, the blood was good but it made me feel like a monster.

The last stop I made that night was to my high-school sweetheart's house. I left very early for the war; way before the legal age limit and we seemed to have a hard time saying good bye. Her house still looked the same, and I climbed up to the window her bedroom used to be at.

Her personal belongings seemed to have been moved; in place was a crib. It was at that moment I looked around and noticed the name Adrianna painted above it. Looking inside the crib, the baby I saw carried her mother features.

Testing my luck I bent over the railing and picked up the child; she looked to be about one by her size. Before I realized what I was doing, she was cuddled into my chest; for some reason I was unsure of at the time, I realized it felt good. For the first time since my 'birth' I was not considered a monster and I promised myself that is who I wanted to be from now on.

The way I acted towards Bella last night reminded me of this time. I was happier when I could do good, and others could see me as something I was not.

I was so deep into my memory I did not notice Bella's scent until too late. I waited until she took a loud enough breath to turn around a look into her eyes. Still keeping eye contact I step forward. She responded with one back. The one thing I could not do was scare her; that would end me even being able to talk to her right now.

"H-how did you g-get in my room?" She asked slightly scared.

"The window." No need for her to know that I was here almost the whole night; at least not yet.

She nodded but did not press further. It looked as if she was trying to think because she was biting on her bottom lip. She opened her mouth only to close it again, most likely thinking of reasons I would be in her room. There was a long pause before any of us spoke again.

"Why are you here?" She asked slowly.

"I wanted to make sure you are alright." I replied tentatively; not sure how much she can handle right now.

"You know how I got home."

It was a statement, not a question so I let her continue.

"Please tell me." I was torn on this one. The moment I heard the shower running I figured out a way to buy myself some time.

"Why don't you take a shower and we talk about this over food or something." At the time I said this, her stomach growled and I tried to suppress a smile.

"Fine," she said reluctantly, "but I do want answers."

At this she turned her back to me and went back to the bathroom. I let out a breath I had not realized I was holding.

I walked towards the bedroom door so I could go downstairs and almost ran into Bella, who happened to be just in a towel. As expected, her cheeks flooded with blush and she ducked her head.

"Emm. I forgot clothes." I nodded and slid to the side so she could pass. In a hurry now, I took the stairs at a not-so-human speed.

BPOV

After the 'run-in' with Jasper, I went to my dresser and grabbed a simple band shirt which was blue and a pair of jeans I found laying on the ground. My shower went faster than my usual ones; it might have something to do with Jasper being downstairs. I did not worry very much about my looks today; my hair was just rubbed vigorously with a towel and combed through several times.

When I reached the end of the stairs, I saw Jasper looking at my baby pictures with Renee. I coughed as to announce my entrance. He looked up and met my eyes like he did earlier today. His eyes seemed to be very golden today, and he was in a button-up with slacks.

"So you said that I could ask my questions?" I started.

He smiled, and it created dimples.

"Of course. Why don't we get you some food first?"

There was no way I could fight his one track mind so I nodded and he came over to me and placed he left hand on the small of my back. He led me towards the door and I noticed there was no car in the driveway other than my own. Before leaving the house I pulled on a pair of converse and grabbed my keys.

"Do you mind if I drive?" He asked politely.

I handed over my keys without answer, and walked over to the passenger door and opened it for me. I climbed in and put on my seatbelt just as he opened the driver's door. He got in with grace, and started the car without putting on his seatbelt. This caught my attention.

"No seatbelt?"

"Ohh, sorry. I'm so used to driving the bike 'round town."

I nodded. It seemed like a reasonable excuse.

He reversed the car and put it into drive with ease. Not many knew how to drive stick and it surprised me that he did; but then of course he does most things like that.

My truck was then pushed to it's limit. I think it was pushed to the limit; which was sadly only about 55. We made it to the dinner that Charlie used to eat at all the time, and parked in a spot close to the door. He once again helped me with the door and handed me my keys, I am not sure why though. Wouldn't he be driving back?

We took seats in one of the booths and when the waitress came over and asked us what we wanted to drink along with setting us up with menus. I ordered a water, and Jasper did the same. I skimmed through the menu not asking any questions for the time being; we had time for that soon.

She returned to place the water on the table, and asked us what we wanted to eat. I picked my usual ravioli and to my surprise Jasper ordered nothing. Nodding, she walked away from the table.

I took a sip from my water and looked to Jasper. He was starring out of the window and had a composed look on his face.

"So can you answer me now?" I asked, tired of him putting it off.

"What do you remember from last night?"

It took me a while to answer. "I was in a car with Mike, and I think we were a little tipsy. The truck went off the side of the cliff, and I remember blood. Carlisle came to check on us. I think I passed out after that, and when I was home I remember a call from Charlie."

I said this with shaking my head. How could I know nothing about last night?

"I was there too. Do you remember that?"

I thought really hard, and replayed the night over in my mind again. The doctor visit was in my mind, but I tried to make my mind go back further. The best I could do was thinking about all the blood.

Everything returned rather quickly. I now felt my heart throb, and I seemed to be able to hear the noise of feet nearby. My eyelids where heavy but I seemed to manage them open little by little. In front of me was Jasper, and next to him someone who I had never meet. As he walked closer I noticed he looked a lot like the other Cullens; same gold eyes, fair skin, and perfect facial features. He reached to his side and I saw he carried a bag. I watched him remove all types of medical equipment which was used in physical exams. With caution he moved towards me.

Carlisle exam was after that, and I knew I passed out after he told me I was doing well. Although I was back and forth between consciousness and unconsciousness I do recall hearing things.

"Can she be moved? I want to make sure she gets home alright."

"I don't know of her condition, but her vitals look good. She was fine until she fainted again. I never meet a human who could smell blood before."

"I need to take her now. If Charlie sees her like this it would devastate him."

All this came back to me. I tried to keep my composure, but I don't think I was doing a good job. Jasper watched me the whole time.

"Do you remember now Bella?"

I nodded, and in retaliation he sighed.

"That was phrased wrong forgive me." He stopped to take a deep breath. "What I meant was, do you understand?"

I looked at him in shock. What was that supposed to mean? There was something different about him. That much I knew. I waited a moment before I shock my head.

He nodded in response. "Ok. Ask whatever you don't understand."

For those of you who did not read the AN, it was just letting you know that I was going to post today. - I also noticed some people can not read this chapter just yet because my AN was just deleted off of it. Thanks for waiting and checking back.

I hope everyone understands this chapter. I was reading through it, but it may be a little confusing.
Send me a review or a PM if you have a question, or even just to know how you liked the chapter.

Up to 261 reviews right now, and I thank you all.. even the anonymous ones.. for leaving them. They make my day!
Hopefully the next chapter will come out soon. I left it at kind of a cliffhanger so I should be able to start off writing it faster. :D

EDIT: I have posted my intro chapter for the story everyone voted on. Hope for updates on that around the month of May!!!

Until then. emotionalvamp