A/N: I hope you enjoy the less choppy, plot-line tweaked, and somewhat improved version. The non-canon Denouement – Caskett shippers, enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Castle – all credit goes to Andrew Marlow and the writing team for ABC's Castle; my thanks to them for providing a foundation for this little exercise
20
Kate awoke near ten o'clock on a lazy Sunday morning at the end of the second week in May. The strong sunlight was beaming in through the slats in the blinds and reflecting off the polished floor. She reached behind herself toward the other side of the bed only to find it was not only empty, but that side was no longer warm. Richard must have arisen quite a bit earlier, so she listened for any clues as to what might be going on. As her head was clearing from the fogginess of sleep, she remembered something that Lanie had told her one afternoon in the city morgue. Lanie had been right (again, of course). People thought they had all the time in the world, but Kate was surprised at how fast her time had drifted by. It had been pretty much two years since that conversation; it was now going on three years since that fateful week just before Memorial Day when Richard had first asked her to visit the Hamptons with him; and it was just a few months shy of five years from the time she had first laid eyes on that wild playboy whom she had come to love. She smiled as she remembered how stunned he looked when he saw her holding the NYPD shield in his face. She could have had her way with him nearly five years earlier, but she hadn't seized the opportunity.
Her daydreams faded into the background as she heard the front door to the loft apartment open.
"Hi dad," Alexis said as she entered.
Apparently, Richard was in the kitchen doing something other than fixing breakfast because no culinary invitations had reached her nose yet. Alexis had completed her freshman year in college. Kate felt that what had seemed to Alexis as nearly forever for those semesters to come to completion, were like only a couple of months in her own life given all that had been going on. She keyed in on the conversation that had started between father and daughter.
". . . Well dad, weren't you the one who told me once that any relationship that lasted longer than a breath mint was going to have its challenges," Alexis apparently said in reply to something Kate had missed.
Maybe Kate had missed breakfast as well. She remembered that Martha was up and out before nine o'clock on Saturdays and Sundays due to her involvement with theatrical tutorials. The conversation continued.
Kate gathered that Richard was using his experience with her to explain his point of view on relationships; and how people came to be as they appeared to the outside world. Richard became lost in a monolog. . .
"Okay Alexis, take yourself for example. How do you feel about your personal future now that you've left high school and have made it through the first year of college? I say that because I remember your heartfelt speech at your graduation ceremony . . . how you were reluctant to leave that former world knowing that everything was going to change. And that's just my point. Many people seem to feel that their upbringing and their parents, whether for the good or the bad, are the main things that define their lives. One of the things that teenagers in the 1960's used to like to say to piss off their parents was their declaration that they were the product of their environment; or that if one wasn't part of the solution, then one was part of the problem . . . things like that. So, for some reason if their family was poor; or mother or father were either a crook or an alcoholic that they too would most likely be condemned to that same pattern. It's like they came packaged in a box, and that's how they were going to fit into society; like whatever shape and size that box happened to be, that's where it would fit. Remember those collectible dolls that Susan, your friend, had when you were in fifth grade; the ones you used to try to convince me to buy for you? She never took them out of the box to play with them. They were only for show. I wonder where they are today. Likewise, there are people who never ever try to do anything with their initial package when they leave home and enter the world. I've developed several characters like them in my books. Sure, everyone comes in a package; I'm not saying there are those who are just free spirits and those who are constrained – that's not what I'm talking about. Again, sure, anyone can have one or even several highly emotional or even traumatic events in their lives; and there is no doubt those events will shape that person's outlook; and even their personality to a degree. But personality and destiny are two completely different things. I don't agree with the fixed box philosophy. Remember when your friend Rita was killed in a car accident just after she got her license; and how you swore you'd never drive a car? But you did eventually overcome it; and you can drive now if you want to. The point illustrates my philosophy. Yes, we start with a particular box of a given size and shape; but the very important difference is that we put forth the effort to start pushing the sides of that box. The size and shape have to do with our fears, our past experiences, or the limitations we assign to ourselves. Maybe things have defined us, labelled us, and shoved us into a corner; but what's to stop one from pushing the sides more and more until that corner becomes a curve; or even flattens out? What's to stop a person from exerting tremendous energy and even bursting the box wide open and becoming something or someone completely unexpected? In my book, Alexis, we never stop pushing and shaping the sides and the corners. It's only when we've become too old, too weak, or too lazy or too depressed to care anymore, that we stop pushing on the walls that constrain us. Remember when you got upset with me about working at the precinct thereby putting myself and even the family in needless danger; and you told me to grow up and stop pretending to be a cop? I told you I would grow up. I had to make good on that promise to you, to myself; if I hadn't, other people would have been seriously affected. I realized it wasn't about running around, writing books, and having a good time anymore. I pushed the wall on that side of the box and I'm very glad I did.", Richard concluded.
"I'm glad you did too," Alexis replied getting up from the kitchen stool to give him a hug. "Dad, like I said before, don't grow up too much."
That jogged Kate's memory to about four months earlier when the original 'deep fried Twinkie', Meredith had shown up to nurse Alexis back to health, or so she said. In answer to Kate's question as to why things had not worked out between her and Richard, she had complained that she knew so little about him; whereas he knew basically everything about her. Kate had just learned something. She had just heard the real Richard Alexander Rogers, the inner man, not the other man who appeared to the world as Richard Castle. She realized she had held the key to it all along but had made the same stupid mistakes that his two former wives had made over and over. If the average man had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder when it came to connecting his tongue to his innermost feelings, then Richard Castle was on the extreme end of the hyperactive scale. For Castle, one had to signal that playtime was over; that the game had ended for the day; but just snapping one's fingers and giving the command like some classroom teacher to her students, wasn't going to accomplish the task. Castle was the kind of man that needed a long time for the churning waters, which comprised his mental activity, to become still; and after that, one needed to listen patiently. Kate realized she had caught one of those very rare moments. She had seen how Martha had accomplished it, now that she looked back on their history together. Kate hoped she could recreate it in the future. Perhaps that was why he had been so patient with her, even when she had been less than kind to him. Perhaps he had interpreted those difficult times as her efforts to push on the sides of her own enclosure; and he didn't want to interfere with such important steps. Kate had just brushed it off as her way of dealing with personal issues but maybe Richard apparently had seen it as something else. One thing was for sure, Kate had chosen to learn things the hard way. Maybe the time had arrived to push on that side of the box if she was to keep her relationship running smoothly with him.
Kate remained in bed for a few more minutes thinking about the man with whom she was now sharing that bed on a regular basis. She chided herself for having been so blind at times. Lanie had told her the very same thing repeatedly, yet she had brushed it off. Castle had been waiting for her. All that time and well over a hundred major cases together and he had always been there for her – just like he said 'Always'. It was her he cared about. She was the one that got coffee delivered every morning. She had almost thrown that away; but no more. She had found the right man – her man from now on. She threw off the covers and stretched; then got up and got dressed. About twenty minutes later she emerged from the bedroom looking like the Kate Beckett that Richard was always so glad to see at the precinct and this morning was no exception. He beamed as he looked at her. Apparently, Alexis had left for destinations unknown while Kate had been getting ready to meet the day.
They greeted each other with a kiss. Richard wanted to know what he could fix her for breakfast.
"I don't know – anything, just as long as it's not one of your S'morelettes that Alexis warned me about," Kate replied.
"No culinary appreciation," he muttered.
Castle enjoyed another cup of coffee with her as she ate. They cleaned up together. As they were working side by side, Kate also thought about Richard's mother and daughter. They were good people. Martha adored her, having confessed that she was probably the best thing that had ever happened to her son. Kate loved how respectful and sensible and caring Alexis could be. If one had to have a step-daughter, Alexis would be the kind to wish for.
"Castle, I've been thinking," Kate began, as they were leaving the kitchen.
"Thinking what," he inquired back.
"Thinking that we need to go for a long walk in the park on a day like this . . . only this time it's not to examine any dead bodies . . . rather I think it should be to discuss what we're going to do at the Hamptons this year for Memorial Day weekend," she said, in a tone that hinted at a playful mood.
They left the apartment together and made their way over to Central Park, walking in sync like the genuine item they had become. For the moment, they were free from all the demands and limitations their world could impose. Kate was not on call nor was Richard facing a deadline; finally, they could be themselves sharing time together far out of the range of Captain Gates' radar. Kate glanced at Richard as they walked along. She noted his expression; she remembered that look because it was the same one he had worn the evening of the first Nikki Heat book launch. The evening he had finished telling her that she was extraordinary, but this time she didn't dare open her mouth. His expression revealed that was proud to be in her company and that she had made him the happiest man in the world. He glanced toward her and caught her eye. They both snickered as they jointly remembered the first time they had played that game while reading stacks of his fan mail back at the precinct for clues to their first murder case. As they continued walking, Castle silently promised himself that he would do everything in his power to keep them walking together, no matter how rough the future path might become. The Universe had nothing more to say as the glare from the midday sun upon NYC hid them from its view.