A/N: Wow i have been gone so long! missed writing fanfiction :) well recently i've been through a rather harsh breakup and i thought i needed write it out. i realize this chapter probably won't hit home for anybody and isn't particularly good in any sense but if i didn't get it out i feel like i'm really going to hit something. And if anyone is wondering, yes it is based of a true situation. So as usual reviews are welcome but not neccessary! happy thanksgiving, though i am a day late and good luck to any university kids out there like me who are preparing for midterms :) peace out!

Penguin

Game

Maybe to her it had been real from the start. For him, it was nothing but a game. The game to get what everyone said he couldn't have. It was his own personal mission, and he always won. He's seen the looks that Wes gives him, he notices the flash of anger in Alyssa's eyes and he's seen the way that every time he looked into one of their faces, he saw disappointment. He could look in their eyes and ignore everything, but the moment he looked into her eyes, he knew it was over. He wasn't sure when it stopped being a game for him and become something real, but he knew it had to end either way. He couldn't let her get close, he couldn't let anyone past the walls he had built because he knew in the end it would all just be pain. He tapped on her door, the hollow echo sounding throughout the house. When she answered the door, he could already see the sadness in her eyes, he knew that she knew.

"Wanna talk outside?" she asked, glancing back into her house for a second, "Alyssa's over" He nodded and stepped away to let her outside.

"Would you like to talk in the car?" he asked, noticing her shiver in the cold. She shook her head in the negative.

"Let's just get his over with" she muttered.

"Well I'm sure you've noticed my..." he paused to search for his words, "lack of attention this past month. I've been too distant and I don't think it's fair to you. So..." Eric let his words trail, knowing that Taylor heard the hidden message in the silence. Not surprisingly, she was holding herself pretty well together. Her arms were wrapped around her torso, and her eyes were looking everywhere but at him.

"You came out at 10 in the night just to tell me this?" she whispered to the ground. Her voice cracked on the last word, but Eric pretended not to hear. Nearby, one of Taylor's neighbours was having a loud conversation outside his house. Both of them looked towards the source of the noise, a perfect distraction for the tense silence.

"Well I wanted to say it in person"

"What do you want me to say?" Her voice cracked a little more, the armour of her heart starting to crumble even more.

"I'm sorry, it's not fair to you" he repeated, "I...yeah" the unfinished sentence hung in the air like a knife.

"Well... goodbye I guess"

"Yeah good night..." Eric turned to his car, trailing awkwardly, casting one look back before disappearing into his car. Taylor all but ran back into the house, the tears still welling in the pits of her eyes. Taking a calming breath and wiping away any traces of tears, she entered the house.

"Hey was that Eric?" Alyssa asked

"Yeah" Taylor replied, putting on a cheerful smile despite her crumbling emotions.

"Oh what did he want so late in the night?"

"Nothing" Alyssa glanced curiously at the former Air Force Officer.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing important."

"I guess he just wanted to see you huh?" Alyssa suggested jovially, dropping the subject.

"Yeah" Taylor lied smoothly. The White Tiger avatar, let out a giggle.

"Well I have to head home now, so I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Of course." With another wave, Alyssa departed from Taylor's house, leaving the Soaring Eagle avatar all by herself. She collapsed onto her couch and let all her tears flow from her eyes. She didn't know how long she cried, but it didn't stop until her eyes were red and puffy and her throat hoarse. Thinking a shower was what she needed, she proceeded to bathroom, but found the running water just made her cry even more. It hurt her to think that after all they had been through; he could be so callous about their breakup. It hurt to believe that despite every effort on both their parts to communicate in spite their varying schedules, that he could just suddenly walk out of her life at the most crucial of times. It hurt to think that he would shut her out of his world, when she wanted him in hers the most at the moment. It wasn't fair too her? He was damn right it wasn't fair. Not fair that he wanted to make himself look good by even suggesting that he was doing this for her. Not fair that she had invested so much in this relationship only to have him spit it back right into her face. She slammed her fist into the wall. The raw pain in her chest was clouding her thoughts. She didn't think that it would hurt more than any Org attack, hurt so much despite how many times she had prepared herself for this inevitable fate. It didn't compare to the hurt when she could see a stranger staring out of his eyes, hurt more than when she heard another lame excuse, hurt every time she collided with another wall he had put up to defend himself. It had all been a game to him, but to her it had been everything and now she had nothing. Nothing but the hollow echoes of her heart beats, and the pain of knowing what it was like to lose everything you thought you had, but never really did. In this sick game of love, Taylor had lost more than she could possibly afford; she lost her heart to the only person who could, and would, never give it back.