A/N: Sorry for the long wait! Gonna go work on LOVE now!

"Have you ever had a day when all you think about is the 'what if's' of life?"

Randy kept his head down, focusing on the lush, green grass of the park after mumbling his question and interrupting John's talk about their plans for the day.

"The what?"

Randy finally looked up and sighed, meeting John's confused gaze. "The 'what if's' of life. Like, what if we had never met? What if I had not gotten kicked out of the marines and you had stayed in body building. What if we had hated each other at first sight instead of clicking? What if I had admitted to myself that what you were doing was flirting and we had started dating immediately after we met?" He smiled and shrugged. "Don't you think about those things?"

John smiled back and shook his head. "Haven't ever given it much thought. I guess I figure there's no point in thinking about that. I'd rather live my life in the present with the choices I've made."

Randy rolled his eyes and turned away, a small smile on his face. "Why do you have to be so goddamned sensible? You always make me seem like the crazy one."

John laughed and reached for Randy's dangling hand between their bodies. "You're not crazy, Ran. You're just way smarter than I am and your brain works in a different way."

"I'm not smarter than you, college man," Randy's eyes moved down to look at his and John's linked hands. He fought to keep his hand steady but the awkwardness of the hold wasn't lost on him and he was sure it wasn't lost on John, either. Ever since Dwayne's surprise visit to Raw, despite their promises to not let it interfere with their lives, it had changed things. The interesting thing was that both men had their own reasons for the change.

John assumed Randy's odd behavior had to do with his working out his feelings over Dwayne's appearance in their life and the choice he'd made to forgive him. Despite Randy's focus on keeping things normal and moving forward in their relationship, he had distanced himself from John. He was quieter, more nervous and skittish and had withdrawn into himself. In other words, he was not himself. John figured the best bet was to give him the space he needed to work things out on his own in his own way. Pushing Randy never worked and he of all people knew that.

Randy knew he was acting different around John even though he tried every waking moment to remain as normal as possible. His encounter with Dwayne weighed heavily on him and his parting phrase to him echoed in Randy's head on a loop.

"You know, you and John are such a great couple, Randy. You should really enjoy it while you can,"

Was it meant as a warning? Was it just a simple, innocent statement? Whatever it was, it was driving him crazy and the fact he hadn't shared his conversation with Dwayne with John was damn near ensuring he was going to end up in an asylum. John knew he and Dwayne had seen each other and spoken in the hallway thanks to Alanna but that part of the conversation Randy had kept to himself. He wasn't even sure how he would begin to bring it up. Would John think anything of it or just blow it off? The last thing he wanted to do was bring his and John's relationship any more stress. He knew the older man was also concerned about Brock and Cody's developing friendship and adding a concern over Dwayne was only going to make it worse. It felt dishonest, though, to not share his concern with John. Not to mention that by hiding his concern, he was acting differently towards John and probably worrying him.

"Yeah, I think the best way to live life is just by living in the present. There's no point worrying about what could've been. It will just depress the hell out of you sometimes. You gotta take what you're given and make it work…"

Randy frowned when he realized John had continued speaking even as he'd drifted off. He shook his head and plastered a smile on his face as he turned to meet John's eyes. "You're right. There should be no thinking of what ifs. I mean, there's no point in thinking what would have happened if we hadn't met because I am positive I could never have made a better friend or lover than you. There's no point in wondering what would have happened if we started dating years earlier because the point is we did start dating and we're together now and we'll be together always, right?"

John nodded. "Absolutely." He lifted Randy's hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "You see; you're brilliant."

Randy rolled his eyes but smiled as they continued on one of the many paths in the park. Alanna's swimming class wouldn't be over for almost another hour so John led them to the benches overlooking the pond. They collapsed onto a bench and Randy sighed deeply, slouching down so he could rest his head on the back of the wooden bench. The sun beamed on his face and another sigh, contented this time, escaped his lips.

"Ran,"

Randy opened his eyes slowly, his free hand coming up to shield them from the bright sunlight. John stared at him, concern clearly displayed over his face.

"What?"

John lowered his eyes. "I know you've been worried about stuff the past couple of days but I wish you wouldn't. I just don't know what to say to you to convince you that my getting past what happened with Dwayne has no effect on us and our marriage, whatsoever. He's never going to be a part of our lives. I've forgiven him so I can move on from what I did, baby and I hope to keep working on forgiving myself because you know I still blame myself for cheating. Dwayne and I are not gonna be friends and he isn't going to be around all the time now. I barely liked him before this all began, remember? You don't have to worry about him in our lives."

Randy smiled slowly and shook his head. "I'm not worried about him becoming your version of Ted, baby. I know he isn't going to become a constant in our lives." He sighed and the smile faded from his face. "Look, I have been worried about something and I've been letting it drive me crazy. All I do is think about it and try to analyze it and I'm losing myself over it and I don't want to but I don't know how to make it stop."

John frowned and turned over in his seat to face Randy. "What? Did something happen?"

Randy took a deep breath and nodded, his eyes moving away from John and to the pond. "Yeah...at least, I think it did," He could feel John slide his body closer to him but didn't move his eyes from the clear blue water. "Dwayne said something to me the other night."

"What? What did he say, Randy?"

Randy finally turned over to face John, the older man's face now serious. "He said we were a great couple and that I should enjoy it while I could."

John frowned. "What?"

Randy shrugged. "That's what he said. It wasn't what he said, though. It was the way he said it. It was ominous, John; it was a warning. He looked happy, almost like he knew something I didn't but he couldn't contain it. He wanted me to know he knew something and to wonder what it was. It was like he wanted me to worry about what was coming." He stopped abruptly, his forehead creased into such a deep frown it hurt.

John sighed softly and squeezed Randy's hand. He remained silent and tried to think of a way to address the younger man's confession. After noticing Randy's raised eyebrow, he figured he would just give it a try and tell him what he really thought.

"Ran, I can understand why you would be thinking that. I think you're reading too much into it, though,"

Randy's eyebrow remained raised, the skepticism written all over his face. "Is that so?"

John bit his lip as his heart began to race. It didn't take a genius to see he was on a very slippery slope. Telling Randy he was overreacting could only lead to a blow out and the younger man accusing him of not taking his side but telling him he was right could make things worse.

"Ran, you don't like Dwayne. You don't think he's truly sorry for what he did and that when he told me he was, he lied. You don't understand how I could forgive him," John took a deep breath. "That's all in your head, though, baby so of course when he tells you we should enjoy each other while we still could, you think it means something." He tentatively smiled. "I mean, would you be thinking this if anyone else has said it? How many people told us pretty much the same thing after we told them we got married?"

Randy stared at John wordlessly for what seemed like hours before he turned back to stare at the pond. He pulled his hand from John's grip and the older man groaned in frustration.

"What; are you angry at me now, Ran? Do you want me to lie to you?"

Randy shook his head but kept his eyes trained forward. "No, I'm not angry at you. And no, I don't want you to lie to me." He shrugged. "It's pretty much the reaction I expected from you anyway."

"Ran, I don't want you to think this in any way means I don't trust you or that I'm taking his side or that..."

"John," interrupted Randy. "I just meant that you are very much a forgiving soul who tries to convince himself that everyone is a good person. That's it,"

John smiled and shook his head. "Don't make me sound naive, though. I know there are bad people in this world, too. I'm not a blind fool, you know."

Randy shrugged. "It doesn't matter, John. Let's just stop talking about it."

"I don't want to just stop talking about it, Ran. I want you to stop worrying about it and stop thinking Dwayne or anyone is going to try to hurt our relationship." John's smile faded as he tried to persuade his husband to relax.

"Yeah, well, unfortunately you can't control my head," Randy sighed and turned to look back over at John. "You weren't there so you can't understand why I feel the way I do about what Dwayne said. I know what he said. I know the tone he used and the look in his eyes when he said it. Every bone in my body is telling me something was off about it and whether you think I'm overreacting or not doesn't matter. Nothing you say will convince me otherwise, either."

"Well, then you're just going to let yourself be driven into a straight jacket. I mean, first you stress about Brock and Cody and some imaginary conspiracy you think they're planning and now you're gonna go crazy trying to decode meaning behind Dwayne's words when I'm telling you everything he says is meaningless!" John stood up and began to pace, unable to sit now that his own frustrations began to grow. "Come on, Ran. How can we move on if you keep focusing on things from the past? You're letting them consume you and distract you from the most important thing right now. We have 5 months to fix our relationship, according to you, and you're not helping me fix it! I can't do it all on my own, Randy!"

Randy stared into John's face, barely blinking despite being directly in the path of his anger. "How hard was is for you to get Dwayne into bed?"

John frowned and stopped his movements, an incredulous look on his face. "Are you fucking kidding me with that question?"

"No, I'm serious. Was it easy to get Dwayne in bed with you? Was he really that drunk? Did you have to make a move on him?" Randy shook his head. "I wonder..."

"We were both drunk off our asses, Randy! I've told you this a million times! We're lucky to have even made it home without getting into a car accident!" John threw his arms up in the air. "Why are we talking about this?"

Randy shrugged. "Because he didn't look drunk to me. Don't forget, I walked in on you guys. He looked pretty damn lucid as he climbed off our bed and got dressed."

"Randy..." began John in a warning tone.

"What if he wasn't as drunk as you think he was? What if we've been making a mistake focusing on what Brock and Cody are gonna do when Dwayne is the one we should be worrying about?" Randy slowly stood and leaned against the bench. "Those 'what if's' are a bitch to think about."

"Then, stop fucking thinking about," growled John. He moved over to where Randy stood and gripped his arm tightly. "None of this shit matters. If you feel Dwayne said what he said in a certain way then he probably did it to fuck with you. It shouldn't matter, though. Let him try and fuck with us as much as he wants; let Brock and Cody, too. Let's stop worrying about what other people are gonna do and say, Randy."

The men stared at each other in silence until Randy suddenly spoke.

"Who drove home? I remember that night seeing only your car in the driveway. How did it get there?" he asked, ignoring John's request.

John sighed and shook his head. "I refuse to keep playing this game, Randy."

"That's the last question, I promise. From now on I'll keep all my theories to myself." Randy lifted his hand to his heart and made a cross over it.

John rolled his eyes. "Dwayne drove my car home. He had a car drop him off after I called and told him to meet me at the bar. I wanted to hop in a cab after since we were so bombed but he said he could manage the drive and thankfully he was right and we didn't drive into a ditch." He raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Are you happy with that answer? Can we stop this shit now?"

Randy nodded and turned over and watched the ducks in the pond, floating along without a care in the world as some splashed in the water. "Sure, but just tell me one thing...how could an answer like that not make a couple of 'what if's' of your own pop into your head?" He shook his head and met John's confused stare. "You were in one of the hottest bars in Tampa with a millionaire movie star with a pretty clean Hollywood rep so far but a star we know to be one of the most conceited, pretentious and selfish assholes on this planet. There had to have been tons of paps around and tons of cops making the rounds to fill their ticket quotas and looking to have their 15 minutes of fame when they arrest a celeb for drunk driving. It would make for a humiliating situation and could cost a lot; fans, movie deals, money...but Dwayne still hopped behind the wheel of your car and risked it."

Randy smiled slowly. "Does that sound like something Dwayne would do; bombed or not, would he risk his career and rep for a simple fuck?"

John shrugged. "What are you saying, Ran? That Dwayne wasn't drunk? He just wanted to fuck me and pretended to be?"

Randy shrugged as well. "I'm just saying what if..." He glanced down at his watch. "We better go. Al's class is over in a few minutes."

John nodded mutely and followed Randy around the bench and towards the path they had walked on earlier, his head now spinning what what if's.

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