Saul's day had started out calmly.

"AAAAAHHHH!"

It didn't last.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!"

Normally, he would've been fine with his head in between a pair of taut, athletic thighs. Excellent, even. Except that those thighs led down to a pair of scaled, bird legs and massive, foot-long talons that gripped his torso; not hard enough to cut through his shirt, but firm enough that he couldn't escape.

"Ooooohhhh goooddd…"

Those thighs also led up to a body, a body with massive white wings, the feathers tipped with black. He could see them out of the corner of his eyes as the beat the air. Because they were flying. He was being carried through the air by a Harpy. A Harpy who was strong enough to carry him above the treetops, in danger of getting creamed by a helicopter.

His hands gripped the thighs that gripped his head tightly, squeezing his eyes shut as he panted in fear. "Be calm, be calm, be calm," Saul chanted quickly, "Nothing's wrong here, you're just being carried hundreds of feet off the ground…by a Harpy you don't know…and judging by the strength, stamina and talon size, it's a carnivorous Raptor Harpy. This is…this is fine. Nothing's wrong."

Feeling him calm, the Harpy tilted her wings and dove, the tips of his shoes brushing the leaves before they swooped over a wide, grass valley.

Saul screamed as the ground approached at a velocity he was very uncomfortable with. "NO! NO SWOOPING!" He patted the Harpy's knee quickly, pulling his legs up under himself. "SWOOPING! IS! BAD!"

Most of his words had been swept away by the wind, but the Harpy could understand his wriggling enough and flew them back up into the sky. The author went limp in relief and sighed deeply. "Why me? Why does this never happen to anyone else?" he asked the thin air, resting his head against the Harpy's thigh. He had nowhere to go, after all.

And my day had started so well. I'd woken up earlier than usual, partially because of my alarm and partially because of the Snow Woman clinging to me. She shifted in her sleep, and her ice cold breath had gone straight into my ear. I had to wake her up with kisses to make her let go, as well as promise that when I got back, I'd take a shower and a bath with her. Terrible, I know, but those are the unfortunate sacrifices we have to make for the people we love.

After another kiss, I hopped out of bed…then hopped back in with a very manly squeal, as the floor around the bed was still covered in about four inches of snow.

Yukio dealt with the snow and went back to sleep, I went and took a quick shower, threw on my exercise clothes, and met Cerea at the front door. She greeted me with a bright smile and a pair of water bottles, and we set off at a decent pace. Didn't seem too hard.

Thirty minutes later, I was wishing I would die.

I probably made a pretty pathetic picture, bent over and heaving like I'd never breathed oxygen before and just realized it was necessary for survival, drowning in my own sweat while Cerea stood nearby, looking like she'd just taken a short jaunt around the block. "Thou are more out of shape than I had realized, Master," she worried, biting on her thumbnail. "We've barely run four kilometers and you're already winded."

"Just…just give me…a minute," I panted, my eyes stinging, my hands fumbling for the top of my water bottle. Popping it open, I downed a third of it before I felt like I wouldn't die of thirst. "I'll be good to go in a bit. How much more?"

"Well, my typical morning run is thirty kilometers," Cerea shrugged modestly, as if that wasn't fucking inhuman. "That would be twenty-six kilometers to go."

I opened my mouth, paused, then continued. "Cerea…you know I'm human, right? I can't run thirty kilometers, not without training, and certainly not in a morning. Hell, I could barely make it four. I'm pretty sure if I tried, I'd die."

My Knight blushed embarrassedly, turing away as she grabbed her arm. "I…I had not thought about that, Master," she murmured, ashamed. "I…I am a horrible knight! I was so excited to be running with you that I forgot your limitations!"

And didn't that make me sound handicapped. "Hey now…"

"Thou could've been hurt because of my neglect!" She cried, the back of her hand pressed against her forehead, and I was very glad we were alone. "No punishment is too great for such an oversight! The only choice is banishment, exile! I must-"

Shakily, I hauled myself up on her back, reaching forward to wrap an arm around her chest while I grabbed her chin with my free hand, turning her head and meeting her lips with mine and slipping my tongue in when she gasped in surprise. Her hand came up to rest on my elbow, my thumb stroking her cheek as we kissed. Pulling back, I resisted the urge to kiss her again at seeing her surprised, blushing face. "Cerea," I said gently, taking a free lock of her hair between my fingers and giving it a sharp yank. "Shut up with the banishment talk. We all forget things, it's a natural part of living."

"But-!" She made to protest, but I silenced her with a finger.

"Nuh. You stop it right now, or I won't kiss you again." That was a complete and total lie, obviously, but Cerea reared back with a horrified expression as if I'd just threatened cut off her food.

"V-very well," she gulped audibly, bowing to my completely unreasonable demands. "I will speak no more of it, Master-eep!" She yelped as I lightly pinched the tip of her ear. "I mean Saul!"

"Better." Pecking her lips, I settled down on her back. "Now, since I'm a limited human and all, I'll ride you while you run, like weight training or something. And then, when we're getting close, I'll hop off and sprint the last kilometer. How does that sound to you, Cerea?"

"Acceptable," Cerea grumbled, her hooves clopping against the concrete as she gained speed. "Please hang on!"

It was no trouble for me, holding on to her hips as she ran, enjoying the breeze and the occasional tickle as her hair touched my face. I'd left my phone behind, so I didn't know what the time was when she slowed to a stop, beads of sweat running down her neck. A surreptitious check later, and I discovered that we were still alone. So I began licking her.

Cerea had been drinking from her water bottle at the time and jumped, dumping a decent amount on her and myself. "Saul!" She squealed, a hand flying back to clutch my hair. "P-please, that's unhygienic!" Despite her protest, she made no move to actually push me back, though I stopped. Her sigh could've been in relief or disappointment, probably both.

"You know, Cerea, you are the best mount an Ignoble Master like me could ask for," I whispered into her ear, lightly nipping the lobe.

Her chest swelled with pride even as she blushed. "Don't tease me so, Saul," she murmured, shaking her head and resuming her run.

A few minutes later, once we were back in familiar territory, she halted again and helped me down. "Alright, I can do this," I said to myself, shaking out my legs. "I'd say we should race, but I know I'd lose. Or you'd lose on purpose, which is the same thing for me. So, let's go."

By the time we'd reached home, I was panting and heaving, climbing the steps on shaky legs. Stopping at the top, I drained my water bottle and it slipped out of my hands, hitting the ground with a clatter. I had to lean on Cerea just to get inside, leaving my bottle behind for the moment. "Do you need me to carry you, Saul?" My Knight asked worriedly, cradling my head against her bosom, which felt nice but did nothing to help my sweating problem.

"No, no," I sighed, regaining my breath. "I just need a minute and I'll be fine. I think a lukewarm shower and a bath are the only things I'm going to do before I pass out, so can you go grab Yukio and get that started? I'll be with you in a moment."

"Very well," Cerea nodded, her cheeks pinking before she leaned down and kissed me softly. "I am glad we got to spend this time together," she murmured, stroking my sweat-soaked hair. "We will do this again, yes?"

"Of course," I whispered, capturing her lips again. "Give me some recovery time and I'll be ready."

"Excellent," she tried to remain stoic, but she couldn't contain a large, rather shiny grin. "I'll get the bathroom ready."

As she trotted away, I leaned against the wall for support and waited for my heart to stop hammering. It wasn't helped by a sudden "Hey."

I jumped as if stung, whirling around to find a surprised Smith standing in my kitchen, a mug of coffee in her hand. "Jesus, don't do that!"

Her sunglasses slipped down her nose, revealing her wide brown eyes. "I actually managed to surprise you?" She asked aloud, before a smirk came over her lips. "Losing your touch, are you?"

"Oh go to hell," I muttered, patting my chest. "I'm exhausted. I'd like to see you being completely alert after going on a morning run with a centaur."

Smith snorted. "See, I wouldn't be on a morning run with a centaur, because I like being alive," she replied with a chuckle. Then, her face grew serious. "Saul, there's something I need to talk to you about. Well, someone."

"Who? Miia? Dinah?" I paused in thought. "Papi?"

"No." She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Remember how you bitched about not knowing Mero was coming?"

"…Oh goddammit." I sighed, turning away. "What's going on? What other wrench is the Government going to throw into my life?"

"More apropos than you'd think," the Agent grunted to herself, taking a deep draw of her coffee. "Where are you going?"

"To grab my water bottle!" I called, opening the front door. "I can hear you just fine!"

"Whatever. Listen, there's a girl who's been causing some trouble, scaring her host families. No one wants to take her, and she's one strike away from being deported. I don't want to add to your burden," my snort went tactfully ignored, "but you're the only person I can think of who won't refuse her outright."

"You said scaring her families?" I asked, bending to grab my bottle. "How?"

"Usually by kidnapping them-" Was all I heard before a pair athletic, jean-clad thighs wrapped around my neck and taloned feet closed around my torso. With a series of deep, powerful wingbeats, I was carried off into the sky, the ground shrinking below me.

Naturally, I screamed.

Saul sighed as his flashback ended, looking out at the world stretching below him. "And now I've been kidnapped by a Harpy…again." Tilting his head back didn't reveal the identity of the Harpy carrying him, as his sight-line on her face was blocked by the undersides of her breasts. "Well, she actually has boobs, so it's definitely not Papi."

Sighing again, he made himself comfortable, gazing at the scenery passing him by. Besides the terror of being kidnapped by an unknown Liminal for an unknown purpose and nearly pissing myself at being so high…this whole flying thing isn't that bad. Glancing up at the sun, he realized that it was nearly at the apex, which meant the Harpy had been carrying him for well over an hour.

"Hey, Miss Harpy!" He called, patting her thigh. "I'm not freaking out anymore! Can we set down somewhere and talk like civilized creatures?!"

No reply.

"I don't know if you're aware, but kidnapping is kind of illegal!" Saul tried again.

Still nothing.

"Could we at least stop soon?! I'm starving!" His stomach grumbled in agreement, voicing it's dismay at only being fed a light breakfast before the run. "I don't know how a Harpys' stomach works, but you gotta be hungry too!"

Her wings began to beat faster, gaining height before his feet cleared the top of a tree, a large, freshwater lake stretching out before them.

Wow, Saul thought faintly, his eyes drinking in the magnificent view before him. It's one thing to see the world from an airplane, to be so far above that everything below seems like ants, and this. Seeing it like this…no wonder I dream of having wings. He shook himself out of his thoughts as he felt the air begin to rush passed him as the Harpy swooped down over the lake. Ah shit. She took me to this lake to drown me, didn't she? I knew I shouldn't have opened my stupid mouth to my kidnapper…again. I really hope this doesn't become a thing for me, getting nabbed.

He squinted his eyes shut as the wind tore at his skin, but even through that, he could make out the slim silvery forms of fish under the water, their scales glinting in the sunlight. Saul drew his legs up as they flew over the lake, so close to surface that he could've reached out and grabbed a fish. The Harpy pounded the air with her wings and pulled them up, digging her talons into his side and giving him a little shake. "What?!" He shouted over the wind pulling at his face, "Did you want me to grab a fish?!"

Her talons squeezed him again, but lightly in affirmation.

"I've never done something like this before! But why the hell not!" Saul called, shrugging mentally. "Dive!"

As the Harpy leaned into a steep dive, the author released the death-grip he'd had on her knees even after he'd relaxed, and flexed his fingers. As they sped over the water, he pulled his hand back, fingers rigid, and waited for the right moment. His eyes locked on the glimmering form of a fish visible beneath the lake and he thrust his hand forward, water splashing up into his face even as his fingers dug into the scaled flesh. With a triumphant, "Aha!" Saul pulled his catch out of the water, hooking the fingers of his left hand inside of its gills.

Ignoring the gross sensation of cold wet tissue contracting around his digits as the fish tried to breathe, he plunged his hand into the lake again and withdrew another fish. "Got 'em!" He shouted, securing the second fish and holding both up. "Lookit these babies! God, I always thought fishing was boring! Woo!"

The Harpy said nothing, but he got the feeling she was satisfied. She flew them to the far side of the lake, setting Saul down on the rocky shore, sitting on his shoulder for a brief minute before she released his head from between her thighs and fluttered away. She landed a few feet away from him, and the human got to look at her properly.

Her hair was pure white, the roughly-cut ends barely touching her shoulders and framing her heart-shaped face. Her pointed chin, ears, and half-lidded eyes gave her an almost elfin air, if not for the massive white wings in the place of human arms. From what Saul could see, the Harpy must've had a wingspan of at least eight feet, if not more, and she was only 5'4", if that. Her skin was a deep, nutty tan, contrasting nicely with her wings, hair, and the white tank top that she wore. Along with the top (which contained a pair of generous breasts, especially for a Harpy) her long, athletic legs were clad in a set of ripped and faded jeans.

Saul blinked after taking her in. "…Hi," he greeted her calmly, "Nice to meet you face-to-face. My name's Saul Dewitt. What's yours?"

"Her name is Haru," the Harpy announced proudly, patting her chest with a wing. "She is a Raptor, and is glad to meet you. She has heard much about you from her previous prison-families."

He frowned. "Prison?" Saul muttered, making to tap his chin before remembering that he had dead fish on his hands. "How about we talk while these cook, Haru. You know how to clean fish, I presume?"

Haru nodded, a slight smile on her light brown lips. "Haru does. She grew up eating fish with her sisters. We used to eat them raw, but after the merging of our species, I've found that I enjoy them more when they are cooked." She eyed the fish in his hands with a satisfied glint in her amber eyes. "Saul has a good eye for fish. They will be very tasty for you."

"Well, you too," he shrugged, handing them off before noticing the surprised expression on her face. "What? I can't eat both of these by myself."

The Harpy gulped audibly, her cheeks reddening slightly. "Y-you are gifting Haru a fish? So quickly?"

Saul frowned, feeling like he was missing something. "Uh…yeah." He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as the color in her cheeks deepened. "I mean, you did snatch me from my home, but you also had literally hundreds of opportunities to drop me or smash me into a tree or drop me in the lake, and you didn't. 'Not killing me' isn't exactly a high bar, but besides the snatching thing, you seem fairly nice. Do you…not want the fish?"

"N-no," Haru licked her lips, her eyes shining with something that sent a shiver down his spine. "I accept your gift of a fish, Saul Dewitt. Haru thanks you from her soaring heart."

"…You are welcome," he replied slowly, an inexplicable sensation of Impending Doom descending on his shoulders like a death shroud. "I'm gonna go find some wood, be right back."

"Haru will await Saul's return," she promised solemnly, though the effect was somewhat ruined by a goofy smile.

Pushing through the undergrowth, Saul searched for twigs and fallen branches, with the dry heat of summer leaving a plentiful supply. With his arms full of wood, he returned to the beach and set about making a fire pit, digging a wide, shallow hole and lining it with rocks. Then, he cracked a log open, taking a sturdy twig and sharpening one end with the edge of one of his shuriken. Planting the tip into the log, he took it between his palms and began rapidly spin it. Within thirty seconds, a flicker of flame burned to life.

Feeding it dry grass and twigs, he built it into a decent fire. Taking the cleaned and gutted fish, Saul secured them to a pair of branches and had them cooking before leaning back on his hands. "So, Haru, as nice as the flight was…after I stopped screaming and flailing, that is, why did you snatch me from my home?"

"Haru knew she would be placed with you next," she replied from her spot by the fire, a bright smile lighting up her elfin features. "She wanted to get to know her new host before the coordinator could taint his judgement." She frowned. "The coordinator does not like Haru. She isn't sure why, but I don't like her, either. She put Haru with her prison-families."

"Why do you call them that? 'Prison-families,'" Saul asked, carefully rotating the roasting fish.

"Because they caged Haru, tried to yank her pinions and leave her trapped on the ground," Haru answered mournfully, her sad eyes falling to gaze at the stones of the firepit. "They made her wear clothes that wrapped my wings and made it impossible to fly. To a Harpy, freedom is life. Imprisonment is death. They wanted Haru to die."

The human tapped his chin thoughtfully. "…Do you think that, maybe, they were trying to show you human culture?"

"By making me human?" The Harpy frowned, "Haru isn't a human, Haru is a Harpy! She wanted to experience new cultures, not be painfully caged! New cultures shouldn't hurt!"

"True, true," Saul nodded agreeably, sitting back on his hands. "So, did you ask to get moved to a new family? Smith told me you'd been in various homes."

Haru shook her head, her white hair waving. "Haru didn't not ask the coordinator. They wanted to trap Haru because they did not understands what it means to soar, to be among clouds and tree-tops. So, she showed them." Then, she scowled. "Well, she tried. They kept wriggling in my talons like a giant fish. I almost dropped them several times. They did not enjoy it like Saul did."

At that, she directed another large, goofy smile at him, baring her sharp teeth. "…I see," the author said slowly. If she snatched them and flew them around, nearly dropping them, I can see why they wouldn't want her around. Though, she is very cute.

"And then, when Haru landed, they ran away screaming, like she'd tried to kill them!" Haru finished, disbelief thick in her voice. "If Haru had wanted them dead, she would've sliced their throats with her talons while they slept! And when she tried to explain this, they screamed louder!"

"Yeah, some people are just impolite," Saul nodded sagely. Haru definitely seems smarter than Papi…but she's still a bird-brain. I think Saul-I mean, I think I see why she's been passed from home to home. "What happened after that?"

"The coordinator came and took me away, brought Haru to a new home with only one host. She thought he was cute and nice, and maybe he could be her husband, but then she overheard him speaking to his friends!" Haru dug her talons into the dirt, gouging thick lines into the ground. "He said he had been spying on Haru while she changed and bathed! He said he wanted to molest Haru's breasts and stuff her like a turkey!"

The author's face went blank. "Ah, one of those guys," he muttered distastefully, "The ones who think that perverted shit is cute instead of a jailable offense."

"Yes!" The Harpy crowed, waving her wings, "He compared me to a turkey! Haru is not fat, and can fly! And his bald friend said it was a shame Haru was a Raptor and without a childlike body! And the other with glasses asked for pictures so he could molest Haru with his mind! Which was surprising, because she did not know humans possessed telepathy."

"We don't," he replied quickly, "That asshole was talking about imagining doing it, not using telepathy. So, you're obviously not with him anymore, what happened?"

"Well, after she heard him agree to take pictures, Haru waited for him to do so before confronting him. I told him she'd overheard him, and that Haru thought being peeked on was exciting," she snorted ungracefully. "She told him she'd let him touch her if he showed me the pictures he took. And like hungry fish, he took bait. He went and got the pictures, chanting 'Breasts, breasts, breasts!' the whole way."

Saul's eyebrows rose. "I didn't think people like that actually existed," he admitted with a shrug. "I thought it was some kind of caricature."

"Caricatures are based on reality," Haru pointed out, getting a thoughtful nod from the human. "Anyway, after he showed me the pictures, I told him I was so impressed by his shot composition that Haru wanted him to touch her, but only in the dark of a closest. Then I locked him inside and called the coordinator."

The author leaned back on his hands, chuckling loudly. "Well, he definitely wasn't thinking with his brain," he laughed, shaking his head. "Good god. You're a tricky one, aren't you Haru?"

"She is, indeed," the Harpy giggled, before sighing. "He was removed from the program, and Haru was moved to a new prison-family again. But these one thought I was like a sparrow, delicate and in need of caging for her safety. Haru was never able to go outside by herself or fly above the treetops, or hunt for food and fun. She supposes they were nice, but she was never allowed to be alone or to bask in the silence. There always had to be company and noise, and Haru doesn't like those things in excess. I enjoy talking and being with people…but not all the time. Haru is a Raptor…we need our space."

"I understand," Saul muttered, pushing the burnt wood away to expose the red-hot coals underneath. "Believe me, I do. The women I live with, I care for them, most of them, anyway, but sometimes it seems like I can never be alone for more than a minute."

Haru nodded knowingly, her eyes glittering in the firelight. "I had hoped you would understand," she waved a wing at the fire and the sky, "That is why she took you for a flight, so that you could see the world as she does, so you could know why Haru does not wish to trade one prison for another. She is glad to have met you, Saul."

"'Met' isn't the word I'd use," the author shrugged, smiling at her. "But it's nice to meet you too, Haru."

Silence fell, leaving only the crackling of the fire and the hissing as the juices of the fishes boiled. I wonder if the girls are freaking out? Saul wondered, before snorting to himself. A better question is, have they stopped freaking out yet? There'll probably be a lot of shouting when I get home, and I really should've asked Haru to take me back an hour ago. But it's peaceful, and quiet. All things I need right now…and will probably be in short supply, soon.

His thoughts wandered to his writing situation, and he sighed. "Shit."

"What?" She asked curiously, tilting her head.

"Oh, I thought the fish were about to burn," the human replied quickly, reaching out pull the impaled fish away from the fire. "Nope, they're good. Here, enjoy." He handed one to her, the Harpy carefully gripping it in her talons.

"She thanks you," Haru smiled brightly, blowing on the steaming fish before tearing a chunk out of it. "Mmmm…"

Grinning at the contented hum, Saul cooled his own meal before taking a bite. He paused, before chewing and swallowing. Then, expression unchanging, he put it back by the fire. "That's not fully cooked," he told Haru, going to the lake to rinse his mouth out.

Eventually, though, his fish was cooked and they shared a quiet meal by the dying fire, the sun having reached its apex and begun to descend. Kicking dirt over the smoking coals, the author stretched his shoulders and sighed. "I guess we should be getting back, huh? Can't say I'm looking forward to what'll be waiting for us, but we can't put it off forever."

Haru slumped slightly, wrapping her wings around herself. "Does…does this mean you'll accept Haru into your nest?" She asked hopefully, her eyes a little wet and pleading.

"Of course it does," Saul smiled gently, stumbling back slightly as the overjoyed Harpy leaped at him, wrapping him up in a feathered hug.

"She is so happy!" the Harpy cheered, kissing his cheek loudly before drawing back. "Oh! I have something for you!" Twisting her neck awkwardly, she brought her wing to her mouth and began to root around.

"You didn't have to…" He grimaced as she yanked a feather out with a muffled cry of pain, "…Get me anything…"

Panting slightly, Haru grinned around the feather in her teeth, leaning forward to offer it. "Do you accept Haru's gift of her pinion?" The Inexplicable Sensation of Impending Doom returned, and Saul unwisely ignored it.

"Sure," he paused, trying to recall what she had said earlier. "I thank you from…my…um, land-based…heart?"

She nodded approvingly as he took the feather from her mouth, wiping the bloody end against his the leg of his shorts. "Then it is done, and we can return to our nest," Haru proclaimed formally, before her goofy grin returned. "Stay here, and Haru will fly and snatch you into the air as she did before."

"Please don't," he said quickly, tucking the feather into his pocket. "Being snatched is not something I feel entirely comfortable with. How about…" Saul scanned the beach. "Ah! Get on my shoulder like you're carrying me, then I'll sprint down the beach, you spread your wings, and that should generate enough lift to get us going! How does that sound?"

She tilted her head at him, her honey-eyes glimmering. "Haru knew she made the right choice," she murmured, taking to the air to land on his shoulder, her talons tightening around his torso. With her wings spread, Saul gripped her legs and began to run down the beach; before long, he felt her wingbeats and the ground disappeared under his feet, the two taking to the air.

Very much unlike his first experience, the human trusted the Harpy to hold him, holding his arms out like an airplane and smiling as the wind rushed over his skin. See, this is why we need jetpacks, he thought, allowing his head to rest against Haru's thigh. Man, I wish I had wings. "Haru!" He called, her talons briefly squeezing him in acknowledgement. "Why don't we swoop a little?"

"I thought Saul said swooping was bad?" She asked quizzically, her words a bit hard to hear over the wind.

"I did, but that was when I thought I was going to die!" He yelled back, patting her knee.

"Okay, then!" Haru said, her wings flapping mightily as they began to descend. "Hold on, Hu-!"

The rest of her words were drowned out as the noise overruled Saul's hearing, squinting his eyes as the air tore at his face. And even then, he let loose a whooping cheer as his toes skimmed the grass.

They flew for well over an hour, Haru occasionally swooping down to Saul's vocal enjoyment. But a problem with their mode of transportation became obvious as they traveled over the suburbs. "Haru will show you a real dive, Saul! Hold on to her!" The thunder of her wingbeats echoed in his ear as they began to ascend, the buildings and people shrinking down to matchboxes and ants.

The human stiffened as he heard the rapid buzzing of a rotary aircraft."Haru, that's a helicopter!" He shouted, nearly slapping her leg in panic as the chopper came towards them, a surprised pilot gaping at them through the glass. "Watch out for the chopper! Dive, Dive!"

Haru snapped her wings shut, and they dropped like a stone.

Saul couldn't even scream, as it seemed like his esophagus had been smushed down on top of his stomach, taking it and the rest of his internal organs and squishing them together somewhere in the vicinity of his ankles. His hands gripped her legs tightly, and a distant part of his mind made a note to apologize for the hand-shaped bruises he was undoubtedly leaving on her skin; that is, apologize after his coherent thoughts were more then: Oh god oh god oh god oh god-

The Harpy opened her wings, smoothly transitioning their dive into a smooth glide, and Saul found his organs were now trying to escape out of his mouth.

Finding the right spot, Haru descended and gently set her new host down, hopping off of his shoulders before quickly wrapping a wing around him just in time to stop him from collapsing on gelatin knees. "Is Saul alright? Did…did Haru do a bad thing?" She asked worriedly, her eyes shining with remorse.

"Good god, that just about scared the shit out of me," he breathed heavily, wiping the sweat from his brow before turning a comforting smile on the anxious Harpy. "The swooping was fun, but I don't think I'm built for that kind of dive, Haru. Now we know, and no one got hurt, which is good. Just give me a minute for my legs to stop shaking."

Haru held him up until he gathered himself and could stand without immediately flopping over. "Does he feel better?" She asked gently, "Does he need her to hold him more?"

Sighing, he wiped his forehead and stepped away with a pat on her shoulder. "No, I'm good now. Listen, you might see a bit of an ugly side to the ladies staying here," he noticed the imposing black SUV in the driveway, "And Smith, but I promise, they're mostly very nice." He said, opening the front door and stepping inside, the Harpy following. "Guess who's back!"

A thunder of footsteps followed his call, the girls dashing into the foyer with Smith at their head. "Saul!" She shouted in relief, before her eyes fell on the girl at his side and her face hardened. In one smooth motion, she drew her sidearn from within her suit, flicked the safety off, and fired.

Saul's hand snapped out, catching the tranquilizer dart in the center of his palm. Hissing, he tossed the dart on the floor and shook his hand out. "I'm flattered you're so pissed on my behalf, Kuroko, but I'm fine." He gestured at himself. "As you can see, no need to tranq anyone. Besides me, apparently."

"Saul," Smith sighed, lowering her gun but not holstering it, "I know you have some weird need to make girls fall for you, but Haru's hit her third strike, and she's out."

"Excuse me?" Cerea coughed into her hand, and Saul noticed that she hadn't changed out of her workout clothes. "Her third strike? That flying wench has done this twice before?!"

Mero had her hands clasped to her mouth, her eyes glittering with what at first glance appeared to be worry, but by the smile she hid was actually enraptured excitement. "Our Dear Sir was captured by a serial kidnapper?!"

"…Does no one care that our Host has just been shot?" Dinah asked incredulously, stepping around Smith to take Saul's hand. Pressing her forefinger to the miniscule wound, she closed her eyes and concentrated, pulling a stream light green liquid from inside of him. Gathering it into a ball, she smiled and batted her eyelashes at him. "Welcome back, Saul. You gave us a quite a scare, and yet you've allowed the perpetrator to come inside."

"Her story's more complicated than it appears," he returned, reaching out to pat her arm. "Thank you, by the way."

"Of course," she nodded deeply, her eyes flickering over Haru. "I trust your judgement. Excuse me while I dispose of this."

"What do you mean, 'more complicated?'" The agent asked, her tranq pistol hanging loosely in her grip as she peered at them over her sunglasses.

Saul glanced at Haru, who folded her wings. "Haru won't shout into a storm," she huffed, turning her nose up. "The coordinator isn't going to listen anyway."

The human sighed, pinching his nose. "Smith, what's Haru done?" He asked in exasperation, raising a hand to stifle the Harpy's protest, "I'm asking so I can clear it up, Haru, not because I don't believe you."

"Well, first of all, she tore up the clothes her first host family got for her, and threw away the jewelry," Kuroko held a finger up, frowning.

"They wanted to imprison her!" Haru interjected angrily, scowling. "They shackled her with their clothes!"

"They were gifts!" Smith retorted, "Gifts to welcome you into their family, not shackles!"

"Gifts," the Harpy spat sarcastically, "That Haru could not take off! She only has talons and wings, she lacks the ability to remove a necklace and earrings without cutting herself, and they knew! A leash that gleams is still a leash!"

"And then," the agent continued, her voice harsh, "She grabbed one of them and flew them up into the air! And after they reported her actions, she threatened to kill them in their sleep!"

"Haru made no threats!" Haru shouted, waving her wings furiously, "She simply rebutted the accusation of threatened murder!"

Saul cleared his throat, fixing Haru then Smith with a flat look. "Please stop shouting," he said calmly. "You're standing ten feet apart, and it's very loud."

"Haru is sorry, Saul," the Harpy bobbed her head contritely. "Haru simply stated that, if she was going to murder her prison-family, she would've done it in their sleep. It is only polite."

"But why did you take one of them flying in the first place, Haru?" Saul asked leadingly.

Haru shrugged her shoulders. "They tried to trap Haru in their home. She thought that, if they realized how amazing it is to be in the air, they would let her free. But they wouldn't stop wiggling and I didn't want to drop them."

The Host turned to agent, arching an eyebrow. "Smith?"

"I told them to keep her inside for awhile," the only other human in the room said bluntly. "There was a storm coming in…not to mention, we had more than a few helicopter pilots shouting down our ears about a Harpy they nearly hit mid-air."

"Alright, see?" Saul said calmingly, "There were misunderstandings on both sides. And am I right to assume that her problems with her third family were a mirror of the first?"

Smith stared at him for a brief moment, her eyes flat, before she sighed grudgingly and stuck her gun back in her suit. "Yes, they were," she sighed again, loudly, and pushed her sunglasses back up. "I guess she can stay. But!" She held up a commanding finger as Haru cheered, "Haru has to apologize to her previous hosts and explain why she did what she did."

Haru rolled her eyes. "Fine," she muttered, before breaking out into a wide smile and jumping on Saul's back. "I knew you would help Haru! She was right to accept your proposal!"

"Proposal?" Miia spoke up, a frown on her face.

"I said she could come live with us," Saul explained with a shrug, the Harpy on his back bobbing with the motion.

"Besides!" Haru continued, ignoring the conversation, "The coordinator couldn't separate Haru and Saul anyways!"

The Inexplicable Sensation of Impending Doom returned full force, and he felt something burning cold worm its way up his spine. "…Why not, exactly?" Smith asked slowly, narrowing her eyes over her glasses.

"The Program doesn't allow the separation of husband and wife," the white-haired harpy said simply, resting her chin on Saul's head. "And we just got married!"

A thick, heavy silence fell, hot like a layer of molten rock. "…Married?" Rachnee, who had been watching the proceedings with an amused smile, dropped her arms and drew herself up to her full height, towering above even Cerea. "Married?!" She hissed, her eyes narrowing into furious slits.

Mero, who had been sitting next to the Arachne, went a deathly pale and tried to subtly push her wheelchair back, only to roll it over Miia's tail. Miia jumped and squealed, drawing her tail to herself quickly and thus upending the mermaid's chair, sending her spilling to the floor.

No one noticed, as they were focused entirely on the apoplectic spider-woman. "Married?!" Rachnee nearly growled, her armored fingers screeching against her hands.

"Yeah," Haru scowled at her, as if questioning her intelligence. "Haru gave Saul gift of flight, Saul gave her gift of fish. Then, he gave me gift of nest, and I gave him a gift of pinion. Thus, by Harpy Law, we are now married." She gave a deliriously happy grin and nuzzled Saul's hair affectionately. "Haru loves her Husband!"

Saul blinked rapidly at the array of indignant blushes, disappointed and betrayed looks, and raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, I didn't know," he protested, "I was just being nice, and I thought she was doing the same."

Smith pinched the bridge of her nose, looking like she wanted to either hit him or drink heavily…possibly both, the former followed by the latter with the bottle. "So, you're saying…you got married to the Harpy that kidnapped you…on accident?" She asked incredulously.

The Host opened his mouth, paused, then nodded once. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying," he said bluntly. "I was unaware of the meaning behind it so, legally speaking, it doesn't count."

"Of course it counts, Husband!" Haru protested, sounding offended. "You said all the right things at all the right times! Saul had to have known!"

"Uh, no, I didn't," Saul replied flatly, slipping out of her wings. "Plus, we just met! You can't say you love someone after knowing them for a few hours! And then marry them! Especially when that them is me!"

"Look," Smith stepped in before another argument could take place, "Legally speaking, there's no grounds for this marriage to stand on. Both people have to be of sound mind, and willing. Also, while the ban on interspecies relationships has been lifted, the ban on marriage has not."

Rachnee sighed explosively, the dark, burning aura fading as she slumped, "Good, that's good," she murmured, reaching out to pull Saul into a hug. Above his head, her solid red eyes snapped open, piercing the Harpy with an angry, possessive glare. "Listen, Chicken, I don't care if you have sex with Saul or even fall in love with him; I encourage it, in fact. But the first woman he marries is going to be me. Understand?" She bore her teeth in a rigid mockery of a smile, ignoring the muffled question of 'first woman?' that came from her cleavage.

"Alright, alright," the Agent stepped in, taking Haru by the shoulder and pushing her towards the door. "I think we all need a little space and time to calm down. I need to get Haru's paperwork and effects, so take that time to cool off, okay?" Smith sighed, rubbing her temples in exhaustion as she shot a tired glare at the Host. "Saul…I really hate you, sometimes."

"Yeah, me too," he replied with a shake of his head. "Rachnee? You wanna let me go?"

Her arms squeezed him slightly. "No," she said bluntly, her forelegs wrapping around him before she picked him up and carried him to their room,, ignoring the rest of the girls. She closed the door behind them, spinning around to drop them on her hammock. "…You really scared me, y'know?" Rachnee murmured, running her fingers through his hair. "All I hear is you screaming, then I run outside to see Smith shouting at the sky…and then nothing, for hours."

"And then I showed up with my kidnapper and invited her to live with us," Saul added dryly, turning his head to press his ear against her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart. "Pretty sure that's a Stockholm Syndrome record right there."

"Probably," the Arachne agreed, tilting his head up to meet his eyes. "You owe me for those scares, Saul. I thought my heart was about to stop beating when that Chicken said you were married…" Her eyes narrowed, her grip tightening. "You owe me quite a bit."

"I'm sorry you were scared, Rachnee," he said softly, a hand stroking up her side, "But it wasn't like I had a choice."

"Oh, I'm very aware," Rachnee muttered, tugging on his ear. "But that Harpy isn't here, is she?"

Saul blinked at her. "Fair enough," he shrugged, grinning slightly as he leaned forward and kissed her. "I missed you too."

His lover pinched his lips shut. "Shush," she whispered, rising from her hammock with him in her arms. "Don't slip out, Saul," she warned gently, quickly spinning a bed-sized web angled from the floor to the wall, sticking him to the center before binding his wrists and ankles. "You owe me."

Sighing, the human relaxed against the web, watching Rachnee strip her clothes off with half-lidded eyes. "Somehow, I don't feel like I'm the one apologizing here," he noted, swallowing as she stalked towards him, climbing her web until her bare breasts were level with his face.

"You will soon," Rachnee promised softly, her sharp fingers sliding through his hair once more. "Pleasure me, Saul."

Leaning forward, he buried his face in the valley of her breasts, kissing and nipping at the center while he rubbed his stubbled cheeks against her sensitive flesh. A low groan echoed from her throat and he drew back slightly, focusing his lips on a rapidly-hardening nipple, sucking gently. Then, he drew more of her into his mouth, lathering her with his attention and tongue.

Separating from her breast with a pop, Saul tracked kisses across her chest to the her other nipple, experiencing a moment of frustration as he tried wrap his arms around Rachnee but recalled his bound state. Huffing slightly, the host poured attention on her breast, attempting to make up for his lack of hands, taking the pink nub between his teeth and lightly biting.

Rachnee gasped sharply, her fingers digging into his scalp. "Just like that," she uttered, her cheeks darkening as a familiar tenseness began to coil in her gut.

Tap, tap, tap. "Excuse me, Rachnee?" They jumped as Yukio's stoic voice came from the door. "Is my Beloved available? He promised me a bath."

"He's not! We need some alone time!" The Arachne moaned as his mouth found a particularly sensitive part of her chest, which he took advantage of by focusing his attention on that spot. "Tomorrow! He can do it tomorrow!"

"…Very well," Yukio sighed, her quiet footsteps disappearing down the hallway.

Rachnee pulled away, panting slightly as she crawled farther up the web. "Again, Saul," she murmured, pushing his head between her legs. "I'm close, but don't think that means you're nearly done."

Humming agreeably and smirking at the shudders that caused, Saul kissed her lower lips gently, like he would her mouth. His tongue slipped out, trailing up her core as it parted eagerly, lapping at the welling juices before turning away, nipping at the creamy skin of her inner thighs. She growled warningly and he turned back to her lips, pressing his mouth hard against her as he tongue dug deep, licking against her pulsing, silken walls.

Rachnee threw her head back and moaned deeply, her eyes fluttering as pleasure strobed through her body, the penetrating muscle thrashing inside her. "Yes!" She gasped, sweat dripping down reddened cheeks as her breasts heaved with every inhale. "A little more! Just-!"

"Um, hello?" A light knock pulled her out of her oncoming orgasm, and the Arachne turned a furious gaze on the closed door. "Darling?"

"What?!" Rachnee snarled, trying to focus her anger on the Lamia outside, but finding it hard to do so as Saul devoured her core like a starving man.

"I, uh, wanted to see if Darling would sleep with me tonight?" Miia asked, and they could hear the blush. "N-not like that! I-I mean, sleep in my bed! With-"

"Tomorrow!" The lavender-haired woman shouted, "Now go fuck!" Rachnee nearly shrieked as he attacked her clitoris, the storm of sensations overwhelming her as she clutched his head to her core. A flood of juices spilled forth and Saul drank of her eagerly, nipping at the hyper-sensitive bud and delving between her lips, trying to prolong her orgasm as long as possible.

A shuddering sigh escaped her mouth and she slumped bonelessly. Rachnee blinked slowly, her eyes glazed as aftershocks of pleasure rippled through her, not helped by the humming Saul was doing against her skin. Pushing herself back on shaking arms, the Arachne stepped down from the web, bringing them face-to-face. Her lover smiled before she pulled the silk blindfold she'd just woven over his eyes, turning it into a frown. "Hey, now I can't look into your eyes!" He protested, experimentally wriggling his wrists. "Or hold you…which is the point, isn't it?"

"Yup," she answered bluntly, "This is a punishment, after all."

"…I don't think that's very fair," he said after a moment of thought.

"I'm not feeling very fair at the moment," Rachnee replied, her sharp fingers tearing through his shorts and underwear with no trouble, leaving him naked from the waist down. "But I do love you, so I won't be too harsh." Her hand closed around his erection, Saul stiffening as she gently stroked him with her armored digits.

She teased him at first, grinding her soaking lips against his tip, nipping at his chin with her teeth as she pushed her chest against his. But before long, Rachnee sank down on him, wrapping her arms around him as she buried her face in the crook of his neck and began to rock her hips. At that point, Saul would've melted against her, embracing her lovingly even as he plumbed her depths fiercely; instead, his arms and neck were corded with veins as he strained against his self-restraint, stopping himself from slipping out of his bonds. In lieu of such things, he grit his teeth and imagined seeing the Arachne's red eyes, glimmering with a depth of love that took his breath away.

It was ruined somewhat by the feeling of Rachnee's eyelashes fluttering against his sweaty neck, her barely-audible murmurs drowned out by the sharp slaps of flesh meeting flesh. "Rachnee…" He groaned, his nails digging into his palms, "Please, let me out of this…I need to see your face…"

"No," she panted, drawing back and taking a strong grip on his shoulders, slamming herself onto him. The frustrated grunt her denial drew from her human brought a smirk to her lips. "I can feel you tensing, Honey. Are you about to feed me your sweet nectar?" Saul frowned at her, shifting slightly before thrusting forward, drawing a loud, pleased gasp from his lover. "Oh! Struck a nerve, did I? I suppose-" He struck that sensitive spot again and again, "Yes! I supposed I can-Aah!-allow it…"

In a sharp contrast to her teasing words, Rachnee had begun to buck against him, her orgasm fast approaching. As she felt the climax coming, she grasped Saul's cheeks and kissed him deeply, her tongue delving through his lips to find his, locking them together as her walls clamped down around his length. He groaned harshly into her mouth as he painted her insides, even as she flooded their joined groins with juices.

When they had calmed down, basking in the afterglow, Rachnee shakily reached up and cut Saul's wrists free, pushing the blindfold up. His eyes remained closed for a few long minutes and he made to no move to take her in his arms, and the Arachne began to worry if she had gone too far.

Then, his eyes opened, fixing on hers immediately. He gave her small smile and kissed her gently. "I love you," he said quietly, wrapping her up in a soft hug. Then, he rolled them over and set about proving it.

…

The next day, Saul stood in the kitchen with Yukio, putting together sandwiches as she cut fruit up for a salad. "Mm, can I have the Cerea's sauce?" He asked, gesturing to the glass jar besides the Snow Woman. It wasn't really sauce, more mayo mixed with a few ingredients that neutralized the stronger flavors for the Centaur's sensitive taste buds.

"Here you go, Beloved," Yukio traded the jar for a quick smooch, smiling as he nuzzled her cheek briefly before going back to his work.

"Saul, I've finished mixing the sun tea and juice," Dinah announced, walking into the kitchen carrying a large jar of light red tea. Cerea followed behind her, a much larger jug of lemonade in her arms.

"Put it outside, please," he replied, putting another piece of bread on top of a sandwich before cutting it in half. "We're just about finished here, we'll be out in a minute or so." They nodded and left as Saul began to load a platter with the finished sandwiches, setting a pile of napkins atop it as he picked it up. "Done?"

"I am," Yukio answered, sprinkling a pinch of sugar over her completed fruit salad and lifting it in her arms. Together, they carried their dishes through the dining room and out through the back door, where the rest of the household had spread out blankets for their picnic lunch.

It was an excellent day for such a thing; the sun beat down through a mostly cloudless sky, with a pleasant and frequent breeze to take the edge off. A good day to lounge around in the sun. "Lunch is served, ladies!" Saul announced grandly, setting the platter of sandwiches down in the center of the blanket circle.

"Looks delicious, Dear Sir," Mero complimented with a smile. "But, ah, there doesn't seem to be any cups."

"Gah!" Cerea smacked her forehead in reproach, frowning as she turned to Saul. "Please forgive me, Master, I've forgotten our cups."

"Don't worry, I'll grab them," the author replied, turning back to the house. As he grabbed the cups from the shelf, the doorbell chimed. He gulped as a shiver of cold dread ran down his spine.

Tentatively, he approached the door, slowly twisting the knob and pulling it away so that he could peek through the gap.

"...What is my Husband doing?" Haru asked puzzledly, peering at his peeking eye.

"Oh, it's just you," Saul sighed, pulling the door open the rest of the way, revealing that it wasn't, in fact, just Haru. Behind her stood Smith, who was smirking at him over her sunglasses; Tio beamed next to the Agent, while Manako glanced at him from under her straw hat. Behind them, Zombina bared her teeth in a rather savage grin, while Doppel had a knowing look in her yellow eyes. "...Hey, everyone…"

"Hiya, Sweetie!" His Oni girlfriend greeted him with a cheery wave. "We came to drop Haru off and have lunch with my boyfriend!" She paused, glancing at the women around her. "Well, I did, anyway."

The author arched an eyebrow at them. "Did any of you bring food?" He asked dryly, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway.

"I didn't!" Haru announced, raising a wing. "But Haru can go catch a few fish!"

"You don't count, Haru," Saul waved her off, before gesturing for her to come inside. "Now that I'm your Host (and only that), your well-being is my responsibility. That includes food."

Tio patted herself down, retrieving a granola bar, a candy bar, an opened pack of gum and a small bag of mochi from her almost skin-tight jeans. "I have some!" The oni smiled, presenting her offerings eagerly.

"I was joking…mostly," he admitted, opening his door and bading them to enter. "Give me a minute to make some more sandwiches, but there should be plenty of chips, tea and juice in the meantime."

"Thanks, Honey," Smith stepped passed him with a brief wink, "Oh, do you have any-?"

"Yes, I have chilled coffee," Saul answered, moving into the kitchen to grab his materials and make more lunch. He was joined by Tio, the red-skinned oni bending to kiss him, their lips smacking loudly.

"Don't worry, Sweetie!" She smiled sweetly, grabbing a knife from the drawer before getting to work on some sandwiches of her own. "I'll help you feed those freeloaders."

He gave her a teasing smirk. "So, when it's them, it's freeloading, I see."

She bumped his hip (well, about a foot above his hip) with her own. "And when it's me, it's just your girlfriend wanting to have a meal with you."

"Makes sense," Saul said dryly.

They completed their task in a comfortable silence that was broken when Tio stuck her finger in the jam, then smeared it on her lips and pulled him into an enthusiastic, albeit sticky, kiss, after crying out, "Taste me!"

After that little event, they carried the extra food outside and sat down to a pleasant, if loud, lunch. As Saul ate a tuna sandwich while wedged between Tio and Rachnee, he trailed his eyes over the bevy of women eating and chatting happily, sprawled out in his backyard. They're part of my family, he realized, stilling as the thought struck. Well, Haru and Mero are like visitors right now, but in the future…

After the food and drink had been consumed, the blankets for folded away and the dishes gathered. "So, Haru, the attic room's empty, and I think the window up there is big enough to squeeze through when you want to go flying," the Host explained, leading the way back into the house with an empty jug in his hands. "But first, let me give you the tour, starting with-"

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Saul froze, the blood draining from his face as his eyes went wide. Like a rusted metal automaton, he slowly twisted to look at the front door, sweat beading on his forehead.

"…Saul?" Smith asked, voicing the concern most of the women felt at the sudden out of character behavior. "Who is that?"

He licked his trembling, voice a dry croak as he answered. "… Her." The purity of the dread audible in his tone sent shivers discomfort up and down their nerves, not helped by the slow methodical steps Saul took as he walked towards the door, like a man sentenced to death walking to the gallows. The doorknob creaked as he turned it, the hinges squealing like the tortured screams of the damned echoing up through hell.

He opened the door fully, but they couldn't see past his back, and that only made it worse. Who could it be, to drive Saul to such anxiety? Who could inspire such fear? Rachnee could think of only one, and she prepared her webs to ensnare the bitch that had twisted her lover's mind.

Saul stepped back from the door, the afternoon sunlight spilling in behind the woman to illuminate…a woman who was at least a head shorter than him.

At first, they thought it was another government agent, given the sharp charcoal suit she wore, but the woman didn't carry herself as such. It hugged her figure, highlighting legs long enough to rival Kuroko's but more muscular, the jacket hinted at breasts that matched Rachnee's but on a smaller body, her entire form speaking of athleticism and power without saying a word.

And her eyes, a fierce, piercing yellow brushed by a fringe of roughly-cut bangs, seared the message into them: this woman demanded respect. And she would have it, by any means.

Her gaze swept over the gathered ladies, narrowing on them in silent accusation, before flicking back to Saul.

The author sighed and slumped, putting a tentative hand on the woman's shoulder. "Ladies," he began roughly, giving them a shaky smile, "This…is Crosse St. Claire."

"She's my agent."

…

…

…

…

…

A/N: Well, this took a bit longer than I wanted, but that's what happens when you get a job, isn't it?

That's right, ladies, gentlemen and the increasingly large spectrum of everything in-between, I gots me a jub. Now that I live in Key West, Florida, I figured it was high time to get back on the job-searching horse and guess what? Two weeks later, I started my new job as a Attendentant at a Shell Station. It ain't glamorous and it's fresh hell on my heels, but money is money and money is good.

So yeah, it'll take me a bit longer to write, but at least I'll be able to do it from the position of having income.

See, this wouldn't have been a problem if you sent me money. But nooo, you just had to be stingy.

What's that? I never told you my PO Box? Why the hell would I tell you that?

Austin: Yeah! Now you have to contribute to society now, Sol! Just like me, hehe… I want to die… Just kidding! I love my job.

Anyways, I hope you done enjoyed this chapter, and the introduction of the last monster girl from the game, Haru. Did you notice that she's a lot like a somewhat smarter, older, well-developed Papi? ME TOO.

See, when I wrote Papi out, Haru was the one I had in mind to replace her…y'know, when I wrote it years ago. And also before I started the story. That way, there's still a Harpy in the Dewitt Household, but one that I wouldn't be uncomfortable being in a relationship with! Yay!

Big thanks, as always, to Dairegh, NorthSouthGorem and AJR3333 for their help. Why not check them out and then follow them? And then find them in real life and follow them there, too? I'm sure they'd appreciate it.

Austin: No. No I would not. Follow me virtually ONLY.

I know I do, Wanda.

And now, we return…to the Dream…

(Saul is Dreaming)

He watched as Saul faded, sipping from his tankard as Dovahsaul and Chilled began to brawl. It was rather amusing to watch, given that neither actually wanted to kill each other or mess up the only place all the Sauls could go to be with the people who understood them the most.

"Ice?!" Dovahsaul shouted, charging through a wall of cold mist. "Bitch, I'm half Nord!"

"Hey, dumbasses!" Junior called, chucking an empty bottle at the two, "No fighting in the bar! You wanna rumble, take it to the Thunderdome!"

He felt the tell-tale tingle of his dream coming to an end, bringing his tankard to his lips and draining it in four massive gulps. "It seems my time has come, gentlemen and ladies!" He announced grandly, slamming his empty cup on the table. "Until next time!"

(Saul has Awoken)

Saulus von Wilhelm snorted as he sat up on the couch, brushing the sleep from his eyes and peering blearily at his apartment. "What was I dreaming about?" He wondered aloud, catching his reflection in the glass of the coffee table. "Whatever it was, the people sure were attractive! And I'm very thirsty, for some reason…"

He looked up as the doorbell chimed a second before the door was flung open, the figure of his long-time girlfriend stepping through, clad in her usual attire of skin tight orange pants, her mother's bomber jacket, and the white, technological harness with a glowing blue core that kept her tethered to normal time. "Evenin' Love!" She greeted him brightly, closing the door behind her and stepping onto a pad set in the floor. "'Ave you been napping the day away without me?"

"Good evening, Lena Dear!" He replied with a broad smile. The harness clicked into the wall, a pulsating blue glow washing over the walls as tingles rode up his skin. "And of course I haven't! I cleaned the apartment, I made the bed, I started dinner, then I cleaned my armor and weapons! And then I took a nap."

Lena pulled her orange goggles away from her face, letting them hang from her neck. "And that took you all day, you big lug?" She kicked her shoes off, springing over the loveseat, vaulting over the coffee table and jumping into his lap. "Perhaps you should be a bit…quicker?"

"Quick is all well and good, Darling," he purred into her ear, his chest rumbling as he nuzzled her freckled cheeks, pressing his lips to her skin as he tracked a path down her neck. "But you know I prefer to be more…thorough."

Lena giggled throatily, grasping his cheek to pull his lips away. "Oh, I know, love," she murmured, fluttering her eyelashes at him. "It's one of the many things I love about you." That said, she pulled him down kissed him gently, her eyes fluttering closed as he pulled her closer, her arms wrapping around his neck.

They stayed locked together, kissing languidly even as she directed one his hands to her orange-clad rear before slipping her own up the front of his shirt. Minutes later, they seperated, cuddling together on the couch. "How was your day, my dear?" Saulus asked, stroking her chocolate brown hair. "Were you judicious in your application of vigilante justice?"

"I caught a mugger and a few shoplifters," she shrugged, kicking her feet. "And does it count as 'vigilante justice' when I'm sponsored by the Bobby-in-Chief?"

"Perhaps," he nodded agreeably, "but 'vigilante' is much more attractive than 'Deputized Member of the Local Law Enforcement.'"

"Ooh," Lena cooed, "I love it when you talk fancy to me."

"Indeed," he nipped her earlobe teasingly. "Did you meet anyone interesting?"

She perked up on his lap, grinning brightly. "I did, actually! There's a barista at the coffee shop at the end of King's Row, a girl named Emily. She's very nice, and…" Lena leaned up to whisper in his ear, "She's a redhead."

Saulus gasped theatrically, clasping her against his chest. "Oh no, a redhead! Your greatest weakness!" Then, he gasped even more theatrically. "Oh no, a redhead! My greatest weakness!"

Lena giggled musically. "I probed her a little-and not in the way you're thinking!" She added quickly, and Saulus donned a look of innocence that wouldn't have convinced a baby. "She seems…open to the concept, though I have to wonder…" The time-bending pilot frowned up at him, "Are you sure you're comfortable with this?"

"Lena, darling," he spoke softly, stroking her hair, "Do you remember what you said to me after our first mission?"

She flushed in embarrassment. "Not really…I was somewhat…delirious at the moment."

"You told me I would be perfect for you…If I didn't have a penis." He smirked and winked. "Though over time, you have grown to accept that fault of mine."

Lena looked down, her expression falling. "You…you know I don't think like that, do you? Before I fell in love with you, I just thought…I guess I just hadn't met the right person." She looked up at him, her eyes shining. "Is that why?"

"No, darling," the paladin replied gently, "I love you, deeply, but you haven't tried everything yet. I want you to truly know how you feel…and you need more friends, Lena. I don't count, and neither does Winston. That hairy scientist is more of a brother than anything."

Lena hummed thoughtfully. "Alright, love. I don't think it'll work, but…I'll try. And it would be nice to have another girl around."

"That's the spirit, darling," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. "Now, why don't you go get cleaned up? Dinner is almost ready, it just needs a little more work. Unless…you aren't hungry for my Slow Cooker Shepherd's Pie."

"No!" She squealed, bounding from his lap to race down the hall, shedding her jacket and pants in the process. "Oh, by the way, didja hear?! Mondatta's coming to King's Row soon! Oh, I can't wait to meet him in person!"

"Wonderful, darling!" He called, stepping into the kitchen, sliding the prepared halves of bread into the oven. "We should go early, see if we can't meet him in person before the speech!"

The sound of running water drowned out her reply and the son of Reinhardt began to serve up dinner, ladling large servings of meat, sauce and potatoes into bowls. As he was checking the status of the garlic bread, his eye twitched and a messenger popped up.

G: She moves in a week.

S: Where?

G: Where do you think?

S: When?

G: During the speech.

S: Where will she be hiding?

G: *shrug emoji*

S: Helpful, truly.

…

G: Are you ready, Paladin? Once it goes down…the future is uncertain.

S: When has it ever been certain? I'm ready.

"Or I will be, soon," Saulus muttered to himself, casting his gaze through the walls in Lena's direction, listening to her cheerful singing. "I hope, one day, you will forgive me, my dear. But sometimes, to clean up…"

"…You have to get dirty."

And bam.

Hope you enjoyed! If you enjoyed this chapter, and the above, let me know with a review! Until next time.

Stay Awesome.

-Soleneus

P.S.: In the days, or more realistically, weeks to come, you may be seeing something new from me.

It's not what you think.

But I hope you enjoy it, nonetheless.

Stay Awesome Some More.

~still Soleneus