Chapter 20

A Path Chosen

Harry was up before dawn the following morning and out of the Gryffindor Tower shortly after that with everything he would need for the first meeting. As quickly as possible, Harry made the journey to Professor McGonagall's office, his footsteps echoing throughout the empty hallways. He had spent half of the night reviewing questions and requests he had along with pointers he needed to remember. At the present time, Harry knew he had an advantage to many others his age and it wasn't his role in the war.

Reaching the gargoyle statue, Harry was surprised to see that it had already moved aside, revealing the spiral stone staircase. That never happened. Instincts immediately took over. With a flick of his wrist, Harry had his wand in hand as he cautiously made his way up that started moving the moment he stepped on the first step. His mind was already running through possible scenarios, each one more disastrous than the previous.

In no time, Harry reached the polished oak door with the griffin shaped brass knocker. He tried to listen in but no sound escaped the room. It was a toss up whether to knock or run into the room with his wand at the ready. Voldemort's dead, idiot. The threat is gone. There was only a moment of hesitation before Harry knocked on the door and waited only a moment before it opened to reveal the large, circular room.

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall's voice echoed slightly before she stepped into the room from the hallway leading to the personal chambers. "I wasn't expecting you to arrive this early but I suppose its better this way. There are a few things I think you should know." McGonagall walked to the desk and sat down while motioning for Harry to sit in the chair across from her. "As you know, Poppy was one of your references and your lessons with her were documented on your resumes. The Board Members have requested to speak with Poppy but Poppy was unsure of what you wanted to disclose."

Harry didn't miss the slightly confused look on her face. He was aware that Professor McGonagall knew something was different about Harry but she didn't know what it was. There had really been no need to inform her. Besides, Professor McGonagall had never been a believer in the abnormal. "Professor, I have no problem being honest with the Board Members as long as they agree to an Unbreakable Vow," Harry said at last.

"Harry!" Professor McGonagall gasped. "Is that really necessary?"

Harry let out a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. "Yes, it is," he said truthfully. "I can't risk the wrong people using my secrets against me."

Professor McGonagall stared at Harry for a long moment before letting out a sigh. "I may not agree with you, Harry, but it is your decision," she said sympathetically. "You have witnessed the worst the wizarding world has to offer. I suppose it is natural for you to be suspicious. Am I correct to assume you wish for an Unbreakable Vow from me too?"

Harry couldn't help smiling slightly. "No, Professor," he said in amusement. "After everything that's happened, I think I can trust you." Professor McGonagall shot him a warning look but the eagerness pouring off of her erased any uneasiness the look may have tried to cause. "I believe you remember the outbursts I used to have a few years ago?"

Professor McGonagall frowned in confusion before nodding. "I was under the impression they went away," she said briskly.

"More or less," Harry admitted. "I don't have them anymore but they—well—sort of left something behind…abilities that someone wouldn't be too receptive to. You see, Professor, I'm empathic and a natural healer."

Professor McGonagall gasped. "B—but that's impossible! That's—"

"—the story of my life," Harry offered. "I realize how improbable it may be but it's the truth."

Professor McGonagall stared at Harry suspiciously. "Albus knew, didn't he?" she asked. "That was why he requested your assistance last year when the students arrived. He knew you would find out who was a threat."

"More or less," Harry said with a shrug. "Professor Dumbledore thought it would be a good test considering that I would be surrounded by people every day."

Professor McGonagall continued to stare at Harry for a long moment before shaking her head and shifting her gaze to the pile of parchment on her desk. "Normally I would be highly skeptical of abilities existing in a teenager but you have never been allowed to be 'just a teenager'. I can understand your hesitation, Harry, and I am grateful that you trust me enough with your secret. Whatever you wish, I will support."

The flames in Professor McGonagall's fireplace roared to life, quickly ending the conversation. Professor McGonagall quickly rose to her feet and approached the fireplace. Harry didn't even bother listening in as she spoke in low tones before stepping back. The flames turned green and intensified only to die away as a tall, middle age witch with long short dark brown hair streaked with grey appeared, stepping out of the fireplace. Brushing off her maroon colored robes, the woman stepped aside as another woman arrived. She was also middle age but was rather plump with short sandy blond hair and deep blue robes. When she stepped aside, Harry saw a tall, stern looking, bespectacled man step out of the fireplace, his grey hair slicked back to reveal every wrinkle on his face.

Nervousness quickly crept in as Harry rose to his feet. Waves of tiredness, curiosity and eagerness poured off the new arrivals as their gazes focused on him. Silence filled the air before Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and moved to Harry's side. "Madam Johnson, Madam Fischer, Mister Williams, may I introduce, Harry Potter," McGonagall said professionally. "Harry, members of the board for St. Francis Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries in New York."

"Please to meet you," Harry said quietly.

The tall woman, Madam Johnson, smiled and stepped forward. "There's no reason to be nervous, Mr. Potter. All we want is to clarify a few areas that weren't covered on your application."

Professor McGonagall pulled out her wand and, with a few flicks, conjured three additional chairs for the board members. All of the chairs rearranged themselves so that three of them were partially facing the other two. Professor McGonagall motioned for the board members to sit down then ushered Harry to sit down beside her.

As the board members sat down, each of them pulled out what looked like a shrunken clip board that enlarged in their hands. "Mr. Potter," Madam Fischer began, "your application stated that you worked in a muggle hospital under the instruction of a Dr. Henry Rolands before you started your internship with Madam Pomfrey. Could you please compare your experiences for us?"

"Er—well—I guess the major difference was the atmosphere," Harry answered truthfully. "Regardless of the severity of injuries, there is a confidence here because people assume that magic can heal everything. In the muggle world, they don't have that reassurance. It takes time to heal broken bones. It even takes time to figure out what's wrong because they don't have anything to replicate a diagnosis spell. As a result, many muggles had nothing but faith to rely on. I suppose that's one of the greatest differences. Muggles believe in miracles while the wizarding world doesn't."

Each board member pulled out a quill and wrote on their parchment until Madam Johnson spoke up. "Out of curiosity, Mr. Potter, which environment did you prefer?" she asked curiously.

Harry hesitated. That was a difficult question but not for the reason many would think. "It would be unfair to compare the two, Madam Johnson," Harry said honestly. "My duties were completely different. Would I rather be a Healer than an orderly? Of course. I would prefer to have an actual hand in helping people. It was hard being surrounded by people who needed help and not being allowed to do anything about it."

"There are various degrees of help, Mr. Potter," Madam Fischer offered. "Many appreciate those who offer non-medical support."

Harry glanced over at Professor McGonagall who took the hint. "Before anything more is said, we request an Unbreakable Vow for Mr. Potter's safety," McGonagall said sternly.

The board members looked scandalized. "I beg your pardon!" Mr. Williams cried.

Professor McGonagall raised her hand to silence to protests. "All we require is for you to vow never to reveal Mr. Potter's secrets without his permission," she insisted.

The atmosphere immediately changed, almost like magic. The board members pulled out their wands and committed to an Unbreakable Vow. Harry had to admit that he was surprised they agreed so quickly. Most would insist on some hint as to what they were about to learn to protect themselves. Once the vows were cast, three sets of eyes fell on Harry, making him feel incredibly nervous. Please don't let them freak out.

"Well, I just wanted you to know that if you don't want anything to do with me after this, I'll understand," Harry said, certainly sounding more confident than he felt. "You see, I have empathic abilities. I've had them for almost two years." Waves of shock and amazement swirled around the board members forcing Harry to continue on. "I'm also a natural healer."

The jaws of Madams Johnson and Fischer dropped while Mr. Williams leaned forward intently. Waves of excitement were quickly adding to the mix.

"There are limits," Harry added quickly. "It only works by touch when it feels like working. I've been learning how to control it but it's been mostly trial and error when Madam Pomfrey's allowed it. She's been rather reluctant of the ability because of the way it drains my energy."

"But you have some control over it, correct?" Mr. Willians asked. Harry nodded. "And the empathy? Do you have control over that?"

Harry hesitated. How could someone control empathy? It was always active. "Well, it doesn't overpower me anymore if that's what you mean," Harry said cautiously and that was the truth. He didn't know why but ever since Voldemort's demise, his abilities had basically leveled off. Perhaps Voldemort hadn't been the only one relying on the magic of others.

"Extraordinary," Madam Fischer said softly. "I can see why you want to have a more assertive hand in helping people. You can feel what they feel. Poppy Pomfrey is aware of these abilities?"

Harry nodded. "She's taken it upon herself to serve as my personal Healer. My guardians felt it was best to be honest with her, especially when the abilities were fluctuating."

The board members shared a long look before returning their attention to Harry. "Mr. Potter," Mr. Williams began, "do we have your permission to discuss your abilities with Poppy Pomfrey and possibly see any documentation she may have made on her observations?"

Harry glanced nervously at Professor McGonagall who discretely nodded. "If Madam Pomfrey agrees," he answered, "but the same restrictions apply. I'm not sure how it is in America but here people have no problem using others to further their careers."

Madam Fischer's eyes turned sympathetic. "Mr. Potter, we understand your desire for secrecy. However, I believe you will find that you won't have the obsession outside this area. In America, we have certainly heard of Voldemort and Harry Potter but many view it as a wild fish story, something that has been stretched more and more each time it's told."

Harry had to admit Madam Fischer had a point. After all, who would honestly believe that someone his age could have survived half of what he had? I lived it and some days I still don't believe it. "But they still recognize the name Harry Potter, correct?" Harry asked cautiously.

Madam Johnson stared at Harry with a raised eyebrow. "You'll have trouble finding someone in the magical world who doesn't," she said plainly. "If you're so determined on avoiding any sort of attention, you may want to consider an alias. We have taken trainees who required similar liberties in the past."

Professor McGonagall leaned forward intently. "You've had students like Mr. Potter before?" she asked cautiously.

Mr. Williams cleared his throat. "We've had several trainees who were from well known families," he answered easily. "We've also had a few natural healers over the years. In fact, we currently have a natural healer on staff. She instructs several courses on patient care. If you choose our facility, we could possibly arrange some private lessons with her."

"Most definitely," Madam Johnson added. "It is a rare occurrence to gain a trainee with Mr. Potter's experience and potential."

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he felt the back of his neck heat. "Not to sound rude but it seems too good to be true," he said carefully. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," Mr. Williams answered evenly. "However, we will request the same from you as we do every trainee. You will be required to serve your first year of internship at St. Francis. You will also be required to abide by the rules stated in the orientation book you receive a month before classes begin."

"That is the requirement for every hospital in the wizarding world, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall offered.

The meeting didn't last much longer before Harry had to leave to catch a quick breakfast before classes began. Harry honestly didn't know what to think. It was so strange to have so much offered for so little. The board members were practically offering a chance for a new life, a chance to put everything that he hated about being the-boy-who-lived-to-be-the-savior-of-the-wizarding-world behind him.

It was almost more than what he could ever hope for.

It was extremely difficult for Harry to concentrate on anything but the interviews throughout the day. During lunch, Harry, Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey met with the representatives from St. Bernadette Hospital who were too eager for the possibility of having 'the famous Harry Potter' in attendance for Harry to even consider telling them about his abilities. Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey hadn't been impressed with them either and no problem voicing their opinions.

All in all, France just couldn't compete with what New York had to offer.

The final meeting transpired after dinner with the representatives from St. Vincent Hospital in Australia. Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey took the lead this time, asking questions that Harry actually considered were quite rude. What was even more surprising, though, was the reactions from the representatives. They smiled and commented on how refreshing and rare it was to see such protectiveness over the future of a student.

The rest of the meeting passed similarly to the meeting with the Americans. The board members were more interested in Harry's potential than who Harry was, asking Madam Pomfrey more questions than anyone else. Harry couldn't help feeling more like an observer than an actual participant which annoyed him. Madam Pomfrey knew quite a bit about his training but she didn't know him better than he did…at least he didn't think she did.

Harry figured his irritation must have been visible when one of the board members glanced over at Harry before jumping in to ask Harry questions about his personal experience. It was then that Harry realized what was actually going on. The board member that had been quizzing Madam Pomfrey hadn't meant to appear condescending. She was simply trying to get a good idea of Harry's style of learning from the teacher's point of view.

The attention was completely on Harry, however, when his abilities were revealed (after committing to an Unbreakable Vow, of course). Like the Americans, the board members were flabbergasted to hear of the presence of two extremely rare and sought after abilities for Healers. Unfortunately, St. Vincent didn't have a natural healer on staff but the board members assured Harry that they would arrange for anything he needed, should he choose their facility.

Harry had to wonder if he was ever going to know what it was like to live a 'normal' life. From the reactions he had received, he was simply trading one type of notoriety for another. His fear of rejection had backfired on him…badly. Instead of being shunned for abilities that invaded privacy, he was being treated like a walking cure for the plague. Sure, the abilities were rare but they really weren't as great as everyone believed them to be.

The meeting couldn't end soon enough for Harry. It had been an extremely long day and would most likely be an even longer night. In addition to the schoolwork he had in preparation for his N.E.W.T.s, he had to make a life altering decision. He had to choose between Australia and New York within the next few days so he could then sit down with Sirius and Remus for the discussion he was already dreading. Sirius wasn't going to like either of Harry's choices but the fact was this was what needed to be done. Harry needed a future away from all the craziness and Sirius and Remus deserved a chance at having a future that didn't revolve around the-boy-who-lived.

Harry was quickly pulled out of his thoughts when he reached the entrance to the Gryffindor Tower only to see Ron and Hermione waiting for him. Ron didn't look happy at all, the waves of anger and betrayal pouring off him could only confirm what Harry knew was coming. Hermione had already revealed Harry's decision to leave. Great. I already know this discussion is going to be far from pleasant.

Hermione smiled compassionately. "We thought you'd feel up for a bit of a walk, Harry," she said as she pulled out her wand and cast a privacy spell around them.

Harry cast a cautious glance at Ron before nodding. Frankly, 'taking a walk' looked like to be the last thing Ron wanted to do at the moment, not that Harry blamed him. Ron's reaction was most likely exactly like what Sirius' would be. Both of them would believe that Harry was abandoning them for a life that would never involve them again. That, however, couldn't be furthest from the truth. Harry had no intention on abandoning his friends and family just because he was studying abroad.

"So," Hermione began as they took off together through the empty hallways. "How did it go?"

Harry couldn't help sorting. "Great," he muttered dryly. "France can't wait to get their hands on famous Harry Potter while Australia and New York are drooling to get their hands on a natural healer. Any hope of being treated like everyone else is officially flushed down the toilet."

Hermione eyed Harry worriedly. "It can't be that bad," she said cautiously.

Harry let out a sigh. "I honestly don't know," he said softly. "I guess I'm just in shock. I expected to be called a freak but instead I'm offered the world. The Americans even offered to provide me with a different identity."

"But the Australians didn't?" asked Hermione.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Never asked," he admitted. "I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible."

Hermione and Ron shared a long glance before Ron spoke up, "So, you've made your decision then?"

Harry bit back a retort as waves of fear brushed up against him. Ron and Hermione didn't deserve to be at the end of his frustrations. Chances were high that he was completely overreacting to the entire situation. Two of the three possibilities didn't care of what he had done, only what he could do. Perhaps he was wrong to even consider that his life could ever be normal.

"Harry," Hermione began cautiously, "is it really that bad that people want to help you? After everything you've been through, I think you deserve a break."

"I never asked for a break," Harry countered tiredly. "I want to be accepted somewhere on my own merit. Is that too much to ask?"

Ron frowned in confusion. "But you are being accepted," he said quietly. "I hate to point out the obvious, Harry, but you're not like everyone else and I'm not talking about your abilities. You have experience in the medical field that few have before entering training. These Healers simply recognize all of the work you've already put into following your dream."

Harry and Hermione stared at Ron in amazement. That was the last thing either of them expected to come out of Ron's mouth. Especially considering his reaction to the entire situation to begin with.

"What?" Ron asked irritably. "I can be just as rational as Hermione, you know."

Harry could only stare at Ron. Rational and Ron were rarely ever used in the same sentence but Harry had to admit that when the rare moment came, Ron usually had a point. Something is seriously wrong here. Ron's being logical and agreeing with Hermione. All I need now is for Snape to walk into Hogwarts ready to own up to everything he's pulled. "So what should I do?" Harry asked finally.

Ron and Hermione shared a long look. "That has to be your decision, Harry," Hermione answered. "I know what we would say. We would tell you that all of the craziness will pass in time and apply to St. Mungo's. You would do it just to make us happy and be completely miserable for it. Let's face it, Harry. As much as we didn't want to admit it, we knew this was coming. You treasure your privacy too much to put up with the publicity every day for the rest of your life."

"Besides," added Ron, "it's not like we'll never see you again. There's the floo network…and portkeys..and owls…and…and…help me out Hermione."

Hermione stared at Ron with a raised eyebrow. "What do you need me for?" she asked dryly. "You seem to have no problem putting your foot in your mouth on your own."

Harry couldn't hold back the smile that spread across his face. "I understand what you meant, Ron. We'll still be friends no matter where I go. Can you two promise me something?" Ron and Hermione nodded quickly. "Whatever happens, wherever I go, promise me that you'll always be honest with me on what's happening here?"

Hermione reached out and took hold of Harry's hand, squeezing it reassuringly as she smiled at him. "Always, Harry," she said softly. "We, of course, would want for the same in return. Going to a different country on your own…well, it's scary to even think about."

Harry had to admit the concept of actually going to a foreign land and everything that entailed hadn't really crossed his mind. He had been so busy worrying about the big picture to even consider the details. Bloody hell. What am I getting myself into? "I guess I'll cross that rode when the time comes," he said honestly. "So, what about you two? Have you made any decisions yet?"

Hermione beamed excitedly. "Well, I'm hoping to be accepted in the Research and Development section of the Ministry. It's really hard to get into, especially if you're a Muggle-born. Some are still under the impression that Muggle-borns can't know as much as those raised from birth in the wizarding world."

"That's ridiculous," Harry said immediately. "Hermione, you know more about the wizarding world than most of the students here put together. Anyone who would even consider saying anything to the contrary needs to have their head examined."

Hermione flushed slightly before quickly shifting her gaze to Ron. "What about you?" she asked curiously. "You really haven't said anything about your future."

Ron shrugged. "Haven't really made up my mind yet," he said nonchalantly. "Dad mentioned that Scrimgeour has been trying to recruit as many members of the D.A. that he can but I don't think being an Auror is for me…at least not yet. With everything we've been through, I think I need a break from it all more than anything else. I was actually considering working with Fred and George in their shop or maybe take a try at professional Quidditch. I probably won't make a team but there's no harm in trying, right?"

Hermione looked like she wanted to protest but was doing everything in her power to refrain from voicing her opinion. Harry, on the other hand, could understand Ron's reasoning. Ron just wanted a break from all the stress, just like Harry was trying to do by leaving. Not everyone could handle the endless learning like Hermione could.

"No Ron," Harry said with a smile. "There's absolutely no harm in trying."

There's no harm it trying to achieve your dreams.

Deep down, Harry knew the decision had already been made. Out of the two options, only one was capable of providing something he had actually needed over the past two years, one had dealt with people like him in the past and one seemed more interested in doing what was best for him rather than what was best for the institution. That could change, of course, but for the moment, he would put some trust in the promises made.

Before breakfast the next morning, Harry informed Professor McGonagall of his choice and, together, they created letters informing the three institutions of his choice along with thanking them for their time. With the sealed letters in McGonagall's hands to send, Harry left the office with the next step looming heavily over him. Even though N.E.W.T.s started on Monday, Harry knew he wouldn't be able concentrate on his exams if he was still worried about telling Sirius and Remus. It was bound to be bad, no matter how long he waited.

It'll be even worse if the press found out before they did.

It was difficult for Harry to focus on anything other breaking the news to his guardians for the rest of the day. Telling Sirius that they needed to talk after dinner was one of the hardest things Harry forced himself to do and he could tell that Sirius picked up on that from the waves of apprehension that were already pouring off him.

Throughout the day, Ron and Hermione had tried as hard as they could to keep Harry optimistic even though it was clear they also expected the worst. Sirius was the only father Harry had ever known just as Harry was the closest thing Sirius had to a son. No parent wants to hear their child is moving far away.

It seemed that it was only a blink of an eye and dinner was over and Harry was on his way to the Marauder Quarters. With every step, Harry focused on the reasons for his decision. Regardless of Sirius' reaction, he needed to stand firm. He needed to remain confident that he had made the right decision for the right reasons…which he had. This was the best option for him and his family.

Entering the Marauder Quarters, Harry immediately spotted Sirius and Remus sitting in armchairs in front of the fire, their attention on the portrait of Padfoot, Moony and Prongs romping around under the light of the full moon. Both of them already had Butterbeers in hand, making Harry feel like an intruder on what was most likely a nightly ritual. He was tempted to let them have their peace but knew he couldn't. They needed to know.

Harry cleared his throat and moved forward as Sirius and Remus looked around their armchairs and smiled at the sight of him. It was then that Harry noticed how worn and fragile Remus looked. His movements were stiff and traces of pain were evident on his face. It was almost painful for Harry to see.

"Hello Harry," Remus said gently as he pulled out his wand and waved it. The armchair rose into the air and turned around to face Harry before lowering back down. "What's on your mind?"

Sirius turned his own armchair around as Harry slowly moved to the sofa couch facing them and sat down. No turning back now. "I'm sorry for not visiting—"

"—Harry, we know how demanding preparing for the N.E.W.T.s are," Remus interrupted patiently.

Harry let out a sigh. "That isn't why I haven't visited," he countered. "After the press conference, I began thinking about the future—for all of us. To be honest, I can't imagine facing the press every moment of the day until they finally find someone else to torment or living as a hermit. I've done what everyone insisted was my job to do. Now that their dreams are fulfilled, I would like a chance to live mine."

"That is completely understandable, Harry," Remus offered then shifted his eyes to Sirius. "Don't you agree, Sirius?"

"Of course I agree," Sirius answered immediately. "Why do you think I've been refusing all of the offers for Harry's name to be associated with every magical product known?"

Harry inhaled deeply. "I appreciate that more than you'll ever know," Sirius," he said sincerely. "Both of you have done so much for me, so much more than I'll ever be able to repay." Sirius and Remus moved to protest but Harry urged them to wait. "I know you don't agree but that doesn't change how and what I feel. Both of you have a chance now for normal lives...families of your own."

Sirius leaned forward intently while Remus sank back in his chair. "Harry," Sirius warned. "You are our family. Any future child that I would ever possibly have would be raised with you as their older brother." Sirius cast a meaningful glance at Remus almost pleading him to back Sirius up.

Remus stared thoughtfully at Harry before speaking up. "You know you're the closest thing to family I'll ever have, Harry. Meeting someone is really furthest from my mind at the moment but I suspect you have more to add."

Harry stared at Remus for only a second before he realized what Remus wasn't saying. Remus knew. He'd already figured it out and was being completely calm about it. There was no trace of anger or betrayal, just patient understanding. "Sirius, I saw you in the Three Broomsticks with Madam Rosmerta," he said softly as his gaze shifted to Sirius. "She wanted your company but you were too focused on me to notice. How much longer will you put your life on hold for me, Sirius?"

Sirius's mouth opened and closed in protest but no sound escaped his lips.

"I've come to the realization that if I'm going to maintain any sort of sanity, I need to separate myself from the madness," Harry continued, his gaze falling to avoid the looks that were bound to come. "With some help, I sent my application to several hospitals. Three replied. The interviews were yesterday." His gaze rose to meet Sirius' panicked stare. "I sent my decision to the schools this morning. I've chosen St. Francis Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries in New York. They've offered to arrange another identity for me so I don't have to worry about being the famous Harry Potter. They even have a Natural Healer on staff to help me understand my own ability."

Sirius' eyes narrowed slightly as his lips thinned. His body remained completely still but there was no possible way to ignore the waves of fear, anger, disbelief and betrayal pouring off him.

"Sirius," Remus warned softly. "It's an amazing opportunity, isn't it?"

Sirius' breathing quickened as his hands coiled into fists. Harry could feel the emotions in Sirius steadily intensifying, threatening to burst without warning. The fact that Sirius was trying to withhold his outburst spoke volumes but the nothing erased the wild emotions swirling around him. It quickly became too much and Sirius jumped to his feet. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!?!" Sirius shouted. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US LIKE THIS!?!?!"

"SIRIUS!" Remus roared. "That's enough!"

Harry looked away, his body caving in on itself. He had known…he had expected…but to actually hear and feel…it was almost too much for Harry to bear. Wrapping his arms around himself, Harry could only close his eyes and pray that the storm of emotions would end soon which they did but not my means Harry would have preferred. The waves of emotions only started to decrease when the sound of a door slamming startled Harry out of his prison.

Remus was still sitting in his armchair with a compassionate look on his face. Sirius, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen. "I apologize for Sirius' behavior although it appears that you expected no less." Remus said softly. "Tell me one thing, Harry. Is this what you want? Forget about everyone else and their needs. Is this what you truly want?"

Harry hesitated for only a split second before answering. "I don't want to leave my friends and family but I can't live in a bubble for the rest of my life. I need to get away from all of the craziness if I have any chance of being a Healer. I won't be treated fairly here. People will go easy on me because they feel like they owe me. I need to know that I will be pushed just as hard as everyone else. Going some place away from it all is the only way I can think of accomplishing that."

Remus stared at Harry for what felt like an eternity before nodding. "Then I'm proud of you, Harry," he said sincerely. "To be honest, I thought it would be at least another few months before you had enough of the attention and perhaps another year before you had the courage to confront Sirius."

Harry stared at Remus incredulously. "You—what?"

Remus smiled. "Harry, I've known for years that you wouldn't be happy here after you left Hogwarts. You cherish your privacy too much to put up with it every day for the rest of your life." He leaned forward slightly as his smile faded. "Sirius knows too, you know. I believe he thought he would actually play a part in the decision making process. The fact that you arranged everything without him only proves that you don't need him like you used to anymore."

"But I do need him!" Harry protested.

Remus raised his hands to silence Harry. "I know you do. You're just not the same abused little boy anymore. You don't need Sirius to protect and shelter you from the world. You need him to step back and support the choices you make for yourself."

Harry's brow frowned slightly in confusion. "Remus, Sirius will never be that type of guardian. That was always you." Remus avoided Harry's gaze as he shifted uncomfortably in the armchair, nervousness and fear pouring off him. Harry suddenly had a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Remus, what aren't you telling me? Are you also planning on leaving?"

Remus let out a sigh as he ran his fingers through his tawny hair that seemed to have several more streaks of grey than what Harry remembered. "Harry, I know it may be hard but I must ask you to let this go for now," he pleaded. "This isn't something I want to burden you with when you need to be focused on your exams."

There was certainly no way Harry could 'let it go' now. "Remus, just tell me. No matter what I'm going to worry. Did Madam Pomfrey find out what's happening to you?"

With obvious effort, Remus rose to his feet and slowly moved to sit beside Harry. He reached out and grasped Harry's hand, increasing the horrible feeling that refused to leave Harry's stomach. "Harry, there is still so much unknown about werewolves and what the curse does to the human body. Some of us can survive for decades while others can only last a few years. We do know that those with magic last longer but there is no way to precisely determine how long a particular person can withstand the transformations."

Harry felt his breath catch in his throat. He could understand what Remus was saying but he just couldn't process it. There was no reason to. It wasn't true. It just couldn't be. Harry felt his eyes start to sting and his chest begin to ache. No matter how much he tried to deny what he was hearing, his body insisted on telling him that there was truth behind Remus' words.

"I started noticing something was wrong about six months ago," Remus continued softly. "My recoveries were taking longer than usual and there was some residual pain in my joints that wouldn't go away. Poppy provided me with potions to keep the ailments at bay for as long as necessary so I could help with the war. Now that Voldemort is defeated, we've decided that it's best for nature to take its course. I may be in more pain than normal but at least I don't have to worry about the side affects anymore."

"Side affects?" Harry croaked.

Remus smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry. I stopped taking the potions before anything remotely drastic happened." Harry opened his mouth only to be silenced with a look from Remus. "Before you even start, Harry, you need to realize that there was nothing you could do to stop this from happening to me. This is a part of the curse that every werewolf knows about but refuses to discuss. That is why I didn't want you to use your abilities on me. I knew that as soon as you started, you wouldn't stop until you put yourself into a coma."

Harry shook his head stubbornly as tears steadily fell. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be. The war was over! There wasn't supposed to be any more death! "But I could—"

"—no, Harry," Remus interrupted firmly. "This is my choice. One of the first lessons you must learn as a Healer is that, no matter what, your patient always has the right to accept or deny treatment. You may not agree with it but you have to abide by their decision. I have decided that I will welcome every day I have left on this world. When my time is up, I will accept it knowing that your parents will be there to greet me and my surviving family will continue on, supporting each other until it is their time to join us."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Harry asked brokenly as he buried his face in his free hand. "How can you just—just—"

Remus released his grip on Harry's hand, wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. "I've had six months to accept it, Harry," he said softly. "I know this is hard to hear but you need to understand that I never expected to live as long as I have. You, Harry, gave me something more precious than I ever thought I could possess. You allowed me to experience the joy of being a part of a family and the closest thing I'll ever have to fatherhood. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for that."

Silence filled the room as Harry tried to think of something—anything to change Remus' mind but he found himself drawing a blank. It would have been so much easier if Remus had been angry or irrational in any sort of way. There was no way to argue with Remus when he was calm. Anyone who tried would only point out their own stupidity. One thing was for certain, though. Harry had no intention on—.

"Before it even enters your head, Harry, I will not let you put your future on hold for me," Remus said in a knowing voice causing Harry to sit up and stare at Remus in disbelief. "I want you to follow your dreams. I want you to live your life. We've worked so hard to give you a future beyond Voldemort. Don't throw it all away just to watch me slowly wither away. That would be the worst thing you could do for me."

Harry continued to stare at Remus as he tried to suppress the despair that was threatening to consume him. It was inconceivable to even consider life without Remus. Time was suddenly his enemy, working against him and the winner would receive Remus. Unfortunately, time held the winning hand, leaving Harry with no other choice than to stall the victory for as long as possible.

Sometimes, Harry wished for once in his life that fate could give him break.