"Graham had a car accident. He died."
My mouth went dry and my lungs stopped working. All the sounds seemed far away: my phone falling on the floor, Regina's voice, the sound of the chair sliding, her steps. The words that Ruby told me echoed in my head. My sight became blurred by the tears that came up to my eyes. I didn't wipe them away. He's dead. Graham is dead.
I heard my name and the questions Regina asked me and I didn't answer. One touch, only a slight touch in my arm and it was like if I had waken up. I left the kitchen running somewhere; I didn't know nor care where. My feet led me to Regina's room and I dropped on the bed, curling up in one of the sides of it. I closed my eyes tightly hoping I was still sleeping and this was only a nightmare. I let the tears stream down my cheeks and fall on the white pillow. I never cry. Or at least I thought so.
After a long moment, familiar steps stopped at the edge of the bed as Regina sat on it. She didn't say a word, only laid next to me. "Emma," she said lowly after a few minutes. I rolled on the bed and curled up next to her, burying my face on her chest. I felt alone and lost.
I unburdened myself, sobbing quietly, and she did something I wasn't expecting her to do: her arms wrapped around me and stroked my back slowly. Again, she didn't say anything but hugged me in silence. I don't know how many time we stayed that way but when I ran out of tears she didn't push me away; I didn't separate either. My voice sounded raspy when I finally spoke, "I brought you a gift."
I couldn't see it but I felt her smile in her voice. "You didn't have to," she said as she caressed my hair gently. Then, silence. Our breathing and the beat of the seconds passing were the only things that were heard in the room. Still with my eyes closed, I felt Regina suddenly holding me tighter. I was trembling. Tick, tock, tick, tock, two seconds, inspire; four seconds, exhale.
"Emma," Regina repeated. "We need to move. Do you feel like going to the hospital?" I waited for a moment before giving a response. I saw the image of Graham at the hospital, lying motionless, without the up and down on his –probably bloody- chest on a stretcher, white as everything in the room and with a dangling label with his name written. I shook my head no. "You need to eat something. At least drink."
I rolled on the bed again and watched the sky through the window; the dark clouds covered the sun. Once again, the weather matched my mood. Regina stood and left the room. She came back later and left a glass of water next to me, on the nightstand. It had a label on it. Reaching for it, I read it: Drink me. A smile crept up my face against my will. It's one of those times you don't want to but someone makes you smile or laugh.
I drained the glass and looked at Regina, who said, "Feeling better?" I shrugged. "You need to recover all the water you lost." I suppressed another smile and sighed. Regina bit her lip. "If you're feeling like it I'd like to show you something. I was going to wait but I want you to know it. But only when you feel ready."
I shot a glance at the clock; 15:30. "Can it wait?" She nodded and smiled, "Sure. I'll bring some food and leave you alone." I opened my mouth to speak but then closed it; I needed to be alone.
She brought me the food. I didn't eat. I just stared at the ceiling trying to keep my mind blank, failing miserably. I'm used to the abandon; I've been with five families by now plus the time I spent at the orphanage. I'm alone, they find me, they love me, they leave me; it's like a curse. But this time everything was going great. I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh.
Regina was in the kitchen and raised her head from the newspaper she was reading when I came in. She had put black jeans and changed her shirt to a purple one. How did she change if I was in her room? "What did you want to show me?"
She stopped the car at a graveyard. I frowned and stayed in the car when she got out of it. Regina opened my door, "Come with me." I did.
She took me to a white mausoleum. It was as big as a mausoleum can be without getting too noticed. On top of the door, there was a big stamp: a tree with lines symbolizing its brightness. Regina opened the door with a key and pushed it a little. I still couldn't see the inside. She nodded to encourage me to get in and I walked by her, inside the infrastructure.
There was a grey grave in the middle of the room. I got nearer and blew the dust that covered the inscription. Henry Mills. Beloved father. I turned to look at Regina but she was looking at the grave, wearing a sad smile and placing her hand on it. "You don't get it over but you learn to live with it." Then, she looked at one side, smiling at something I couldn't see. I rounded the grave and saw a smaller one next to it. Henry Mills Jr. You never reached our world but I'll always love you. I gasped.
"You've asked about the closed room. You thought about a sex dungeon, a large dresser even a mirror room but it is time I tell you." She looked at me and took a deep breath. "I fell in love once; Daniel was his name. I got pregnant but one day he just left. The next day I went to the hospital because I woke up at night and the bed was full of blood. I had an abortion. Natural causes!" She laughed without joy, her eyes shining with tears. "I was 6 month pregnant. That room is the baby room, his room. "
A single tear ran down her cheek and she wiped it away. I opened my mouth but she cut me off, "I know what you'll say. I've heard it all before so save it." I didn't hesitate when I hugged her, neither did she when she hugged me back. It's the second time today –and ever- we hug. And it feels right.
"Thank you," I whispered. "For trusting me."
"You don't have to be in this alone, Emma." I hugged her tighter and felt her surprise before she held me closer in her arms.
Back in the car, on our way back, she drove in silence and for once I was glad she did; I had a lot to think about. The recent events provoked me a mix of feelings: lonely because Graham is not here anymore but comforted by Regina's trust.
I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket with another incoming text; I have been getting them since the afternoon but all of them are the same. Are you okay? How are you? or Where are you?
Rows of white houses passed through the window and I stared without really seeing. I can't help but feel guilty. I saw a missed call from Graham; he had called me and I hadn't answered, I hadn't even noticed. What would have happened if I had taken that call? I couldn't stop wondering over and over again.
On the other side, I had seen the real Regina. She had opened to me, revealing her story; now I get why she had resisted so much about starting a relationship. The loss of a father I've lived , I didn't even had the chance to met him, but losing a child, her child and having to face it alone at such a young age? I looked at her and saw a different woman. She wasn't a control freak, she just don't want anything to go wrong. Regina had a wall around her to protect herself, experience had made her that way and I can't blame her. I saw something that connected us. We both have been broken.
"I have to take you home; they must be worried about you." We had arrived at her house and I hadn't even noticed it. I nodded and said, "I'll go get my stuff."
Regina handed me the key and I entered the house, heading upstairs. Her room was as I had left it: the bed was unmade, there were pieces of clothes on the floor and the glass and plate she had brought me was still on the nightstand. After picking up my things, I took one of the scarves Regina had used to tie me to the chair last night and wrapped it around my neck. Downstairs, I took my bag and left the house.
When I came back Regina handed me my phone. "It fell when you got out of the car. Someone called; I didn't pick it up but you should call back." I scrolled through the missed call and saw the last one: my mother. I clicked on the red button and put my phone inside my pocket. Before she started the car again I stopped her and pulled out a package out of my bag.
"For you." She looked at it and hesitated but then she took it. Regina ripped the gift wrap and opened the cupboard box. I felt nervous and my heart fluttered. She pushed the bubble wrap and stopped, staring at the inside of the box. She slowly pulled out the glass frame and read its inscription I had chosen. "To a great mind, nothing is little," she whispered it and then looked at the signature of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle below.
"It's…wow Emma." She looked at me, then at the frame and then back at me with a smile. "This is beautiful."
I let out the breath I had been holding with relief and returned the smile. Regina put the gift back in its box and closed it carefully, putting it on the back seat making sure it wouldn't break there. Then, looked at me and smiled again. She leaned in and whispered a thank you against my lips before closing the narrow space between us. I smiled in the kiss and I felt her doing it too. Even in the worst days there's a possibility of joy.
A/N: I wasn't expecting this awesome response from this so thank you a lot for the reviews and alerts!