Corad: Ok...now this is a short story which runs for three chapters. It kinda became too big to be one whole chapter, so it's been cut up. This short story is based on Batman...or sort of anyway...well, let's just say it's how the Baron sees himself as a superhero...if you don't follow Batman and never will, then hopefully you can still understand and enjoy this...but yeah...thank you to all the reviews for our last chapter, and thank you to cardmaster7777 for giving us some funny ideas! We'll use them for sure! Thankyou!

Don't Own Jak and Daxter or Batman...thank god...imagine what it would be like if you really did fuse these two together? (shudders) Let's not think about that...

Palace Stories – Most likely been exaggerated

Chronicles of Fatman – Part 1

"Of all the dastardly deeds the villains have to do, why must they pick today?" Yes…another tale of idiocy. Now, this certain "adventure" happened…or began…one fearful night, located deep in the Palace of the Baron.

"If those villains taste my wrath, they will be screaming for mercy," the Baron sneered, pulling what looked like extra large, black undies over his grey tights. "They think they can run from me, and steal my favorite shampoo brand, but I know they are cowering in fear by the mere thought of me," he continued, now grabbing hold of a large, chunky, golden belt and placing it around his large waist.

"Sir, I don't want to intrude or anything, but do I really have to wear this?" Praxis flicked his hand to get rid of the elf that stood at his doorway, holding up a costume he'd been issued with. "I will show no mercy, and I will be the knight of the night…the darkness that destroys all living things," yes, the Baron had lost it…again…Praxis moved over to his large mirror above his dressing table, and yanked a black looking mask over his head.

"I am…the terror of Haven City…I am, Batman!" he screamed, turning around to look at Erol, still standing in his doorway with an un-amused look on his face. "Fear me!" he bellowed, pointing at the other elf. Erol rolled his eyes, and took a step forward into his room, holding up his costume.

"Fatman more like it," Erol muttered under his breath, laying the costume on the Baron's bed. He turned to see Praxis glaring at him, through his batman imitation mask. "Sir, I don't want to nag, but why are we doing this? It's about 12 at night…everyone's probably in bed, asleep…I would like to be in bed too. I mean, this is so stupid!" Erol cried, sagging his shoulders.

"Pigeon, we are needed by the city to remove those villains plotting against it. We will be its savior, and be remembered at the fighting duo of the night…" Praxis said proudly, pointing to the Robin costume on his bed. Erol took a step back, as Praxis glared at him expectantly. "Father, it seems someone has put this in my room," Ashelin said loudly, wandering into the Baron's room, holding up a batgirl costume.

"No one put that in your room sweetie…I did…" Praxis said, glancing at his daughter through his left eye. Ashelin sighed loudly, and stopped beside Erol. "Father, why did you put in there? I mean, why are you dressed up as Batman?" she asked, feeling those anger management classes go to waste.

"He's not Batman. He's Fatman," Erol interjected, laughing at this. Praxis looked like he was about to explode in rage and shame. "I am not Fatman! I am Fatman!" he screamed, fleeing from the room crying. Ashelin and Erol looked at each other, both holding the same, confused expression.

"Oh, you guys hurry and change. Meet me in the Fat cave after you're done to helpavenge the city," Praxis said, sticking his head through the doorway, obviously forgetting his previous crying fit. He left again, and Erol and Ashelin looked toward their costumes, both lying in a heap on the Baron's bed.

"I guess we should just…play along so the city doesn't suffer any more than it should…I mean, you remember that last time we didn't play along…how the whole city somehow caught on fire when we refused to play "X men"…" Erol said, picking up his skimpy looking Robin costume. So, the two dressed quickly, and wandered through the Palace together, heading for the garage…or what the Baron called the 'Fat Cave'.

"Ah, you made it at last. Fat Girl, Pigeon…I'd like to you to meet Slack Woman," Praxis said, motioning to a new recruit wearing a Cat Woman costume… "Is that Veger?" Ashelin spat, after realizing how thin and tall the other member was.

"Please don't tell anyone about this…" Veger moaned from inside his cat mask. Erol and Ashelin both began to laugh, and very soon the Baron had joined in laughing too. His loud laughs echoed throughout his 'Fat Cave', sending a distant car alarm going off. "Now that that's over, I would like you all to meet my Fat Mobile. See!" Praxis said happily, pointing to a large McDonalds delivery truck parked a few meters away.

"Um…isn't the Bat Mobile meant to be sleek, black and fast…that however is abnormally large and by the looks of it, will struggle to pass 20 km an hour…" Erol said, eying up the huge truck before them. Praxis began to laugh, before flicking his hand again. "This isn't the Bat Mobile…it's the Bat Mobile…err…Fat Mobile," Praxis claimed, averting his eyes from the rest.

Everyone shrugged to show they understood, so Fatman ran to his vehicle, and opened up the doors. He waved at his team to get in too, so the four imitation Batman squad sat all squashed together on the bench seat inside the truck cabin. Unfortunately for Erol, Ashelin and Veger, Praxis would actually be equivalent to two people, so that would mean there'd be five sitting on the bench.

"Ok, let's get rolling!" Fatman (Praxis) screamed, starting up the truck, and flooring the accelerator. The truck began to move like a snail towards the garage door, and halted every few seconds as the Baron changed a gear…from what the other three picked up, was that Praxis had never driven a manual vehicle before…or he had, but failed miserably at it.

"Prepare to die, villains!" he yelled again, as the truck stopped abruptly as he changed a gear. "Sir, maybe let me drive…" Erol suggested, starting to feel light headed at the constant brake happening. "Sidekicks don't drive! Beside, I am Fatman, so I get to drive the Fat Mobile… isn't that right Slack Woman?" Fatman roared, slapping Veger on the shoulder.

And so, Fatman somehow managed to drive the truck out of the Palace Garage and towards the Underground where he knew The Smoker (The Joker) and Torn Freeze (Mr. Freeze) were scheming their evil schemes.

"Sir, I seem to be feeling sick," Erol muttered, clutching his gut as the truck picked up some speed and stopped again. For a Bat Mobile the truck was awfully loud, and the sidekicks all had a feeling that Jinx and Torn would know they were coming from a mile off due to the noise.

"Die you stupid Villain Cat!" Fatman screeched, running over one of his own Hellcat cruisers. Erol and Ashelin cringed, knowing that had been Praxis' vehicle, seeing it had the famous King Throne as the driver seat. He kept laughing, as the other three glanced back to see the red heap of metal lying pathetically on the ground…

"Just wait till I kill you Torn Freeze…I'll teach you to ally with The Smoker…" Yes, the Baron had finally lost the plot…yeah, we decided that basically at the start of the story, but well…urgh…

(At the Underground)

"Checkmate!" Torn said loudly, flicking Jinx's chess piece onto the floor. Jinx growled in anger, and leant down the pick up his castle piece, but never actually managed to reached it…

(Back in Fat Mobile)

"Yo! I'll tell ya what I want! What I really really want!" Praxis has somehow found his favorite song…again…and was now listening to it full bore and singing along, shaking his head like an idiot to the music. The other's stayed silent, as Praxis drove to the underground, enjoying his karaoke with only him as the contestant.

"There it is…there is the base for the evil doings of the evil doers…" Praxis hissed, turning up the truck's headlights to full beam, which shone on the Underground door. "BWA HAHAHAHAHA!" he screamed in laughter, shoving his foot down hard on the accelerator, and the engine roared as it picked up speed…it was a miracle… the truck was currently traveling 25 km an hour…it was a world record.

"DDDIIIIIEEEE!" Fatman carried on, as the door of the underground came dangerously close to the bull bar on the front of the truck. Ashelin, Erol and Veger all covered their ears to block out the Baron's roaring laughs, as well as the screeching metal as the door was slowly ripped off.

(In Underground)

Jinx was reaching for the chess piece, until the door was suddenly torn off… "What the hell is that!" Torn screamed, standing up from his desk and knocking the chessboard to the ground. Jinx turned around to see the open hole in the entrance, and to see the front of the truck forcing it's way into the wall.

"ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!" they both screamed, clutching each other and backing into the back wall in fear. From the look of Batman's face, both guys knew he would be showing no mercy tonight…

Corad: If you thought that was stupid...wait till part 2...and 3. Yeah, there's Fatman for you all...probably can't guess which villain Samos will be...kinda obvious if you like Batman, but yeah...I hope you guys managed to enjoy this chapter. If you wanna know the two guys fate aka The Smoker and Torn Freeze, then it should be up soon. If ppl decide to review, may be up faster so I know ppl are actually reading it, but if not, should be up in a few days. I'll see you all in the next update! Toodles!