Chapter 20

THE CULLEN HOUSE

I climbed the massive winding staircase in search of Edward. I had to make him understand. As I passed the large wooden cross above my head, I was again struck at how surreal it was to be in this house. I really didn't know where I was headed but I knew his room was upstairs somewhere. I reached the top of the second floor stairs. "Edward?" I called out to him, "Edward?"

He was beside me in a flash. "Why?" His eyes were black and his demeanor angry, "Why do you insist on putting yourself in harm's way and making me insane with worry about you?"

"I'm sorry that wasn't my intention, Edward let's not fight." I soothed.

I reached one hand out to grasp his and with the other I reached up to caress his cheek, "Please forgive me and in my defense it's only because I love you."

That disarmed him, "You don't fight fair," and his angel's face melted into a smile and the black faded from his eyes.

"Not when it comes to the people I care about, besides I can think of much better ways to work out that anger and stress," while biting my lip for emphasis.

"Your incorrigible," he gave me a devilish smile.

In seconds the air between us crackled. His eyes took on a hooded look and his smooth marble lips came down slightly hard on mine, his kiss demanding and possessive.

I returned his kiss with just as much feeling, savoring his hard cool mouth, the taste of him on my tongue, the scent of him in my head.

His arms tightened around me, a wave of desire engulfed me and I instinctively molded my body against his hard cool frame. He moaned against my lips and backed me up against the wall.

I wasn't aware of anything but this man's hands on me, his lips on mine, his cool perfectly sculpted body pressing mine against the wall and the exhilarating feelings flowing through me.

Edward froze and I open my confused eyes to see Edward's irritated expression. A loud chuckle assaulted my ears, before I heard Emmett's booming voice, "Edward I can't believe I'm saying this but get a room dude."

Edward's irritation faded, replaced by irony. "As if that would help, like you can't hear us from any room in this house. Why do you think I feel the need to leave so often?"

That was like a splash of cold water on me and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I had forgotten that the lack of privacy in the Cullen house was appalling. What were we doing at the top of the stairs anyway?

Edward's expression softened and his warm amber eyes looked down on me, his hand instinctively caressing my cheek, "I love that so much," he sighed and continued, "Why don't I show you my room?"

I nodded my agreement and he led me up another flight of stairs to his room. He opened the door and I stepped inside, my feet sank into the plush gold carpet beneath me as I looked around.

Although I knew what to expect, the glass wall with an incredible view of the Sol Duc River and the Olympic Mountain Range. The other wall covered in CD's, the heavy fabric draping the other walls and of course the lone black leather sofa. I wasn't prepared for the sudden feeling that I was an intruder, that I didn't belong here. It was an ominous feeling and I shivered as I try to shake it off.

Edward noticed, "Are you cold, we can raise thermostat, we don't pay too much attention to the temperature." He was still by the doorway, watching me take it all in.

"No its fine, it's actually perfect." Esme must have taken my human body temperature into account because it felt like a perfect seventy degrees in this house.

I continued to walk around staring at his things, still feeling strange about being in Edward Cullen's room. How different this situation was and how different Edward was, even his reaction to me in the hallway.

"What are you thinking just now?" he said with genuine curiosity.

I turned to face him and my breath caught in my throat; he was just so heart-stopping-ly beautiful. Instead of immediately answering all I could think was how could anyone look so good in a white button shirt and blue jeans? I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

I answered with my own question, "You want to tell me what happened back there in the hallway? You are so mercurial. One minute you're mad at me, the next minute I'm up against the wall, not that I'm complaining but what's gotten into you?"

His golden eyes burned into mine with such intensity, such unbridled desire, that my whole body was suddenly in flames with every nerve ending deliciously on fire for him. I could barely keep my knees from buckling as my stomach did somersaults with anticipation.

He strode toward me and captured my face in both his hands. "You've gotten into me. You're under my skin; you're behind my eyes and having you here with me in this house, in my room. Knowing that you love me and that your mine, you have no idea what it does to me."

His words, his touch, his scent, his eyes had me reeling with joy and desire. I had never felt so wanted, so desired and so loved, Edward was beyond my wildest dreams.

His lips claimed mine again hungrily and I melted into his kiss. I would never tire of this man, of his magnificent taste, of his cool delicious tongue possessing mine.

Modesty was all but forgotten, but as always, Edward put on the breaks before it went too far. I felt him pulling away and as tempted as I was, I did not resist. A small voice in my head reminded me that Esme was here. She could probably hear us and besides I had agreed to Edward's pace.

He gazed down at me, happiness and contentment etched on his beautiful face. Sometimes he was so beautiful he was hard to look at, he seemed so human, so carefree in this moment and I could feel the love between us. I knew the Cullen's future was uncertain but when we were like this I felt like we could conquer anything.

His beautiful smile buoyant, "Would you like a tour of the house?"

"Sure." I answered and he led me by the hand. It was pretty much like the tour in the Twilight notebook but backwards since we started our tour in Edward's room. Most of what he was telling me I already knew from the Twilight notebook. It was so strange how some things played out very similar to the Twilight notebook and others didn't.

He pointed out his brothers and sisters rooms along the way. When we finally reached Carlisle's office and he explained the different paintings, my eyes couldn't help but linger on the Volturi painting. I felt myself shiver at what the Volturi would do once they knew about Edward and Alice.

At some point I had to tell Edward about "Breaking Dawn." He needed to know, they all needed to know what they were really up against.

But once I told Edward about Renesmee how would he feel about that? How would he still feel about me? How would he feel about Bella "the-would-be-mother" of Renesmee?

Once they knew that Bella would be a shield and that she could protect them from Jane and Alex, would the Cullen's want her to join their coven and be their shield? Would they still consider making her a vampire? Would she still want Edward? And if she did, could I compete?

At this point I was hoping that Jacob and Bella were a serious couple. It was ironic; I had originally wanted Edward and Bella to be together but now... now… I couldn't imagine my life without him. Giving him up, even for his own sake would be next to impossible.

I couldn't give him up. I wouldn't give him up, not without a fight, there had to be another way to protect the Cullen's from the Volturi.

"Where did you go just now?" he said in that velvety voice I loved so much, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I didn't want to lie, but I wasn't ready to face this conversation yet. I still had to get through the meeting with the Quileute's.

I sighed deeply and turned towards him, "No where good."

He was standing by Carlisle's desk a slight frown marring his perfect features, "I hate not being able to hear your thoughts."

I smiled, "Don't hate that, it's probably the reason why you fell for me."

His face melted into disappointment, "That's not why I love you."

I smiled back at him, "You were waiting Edward."

Disappointment turned into confusion, "Waiting? For what?"

I gently shook my head; although he was one hundred and eight years old he could be so naive, "For someone you could discover and for someone to discover you. With your ability there was no mystery, no fantasy. And with me or Bella you had a chance to discover someone without knowing their every thought good or bad."

His angel's face was thoughtful as he contemplated my words, so I continued. "It would be almost impossible to love someone if you knew all they were thinking all the time. Not being able to hear my thoughts allowed you to discover me, not to make judgments or assumptions on me based on random thoughts. Most of which by the way, people don't think to censor or control."

I shrugged my shoulders for emphasis, "No one is perfect, but when people fall in love, they fall in love with an ideal. You never had that chance, till now. Bella and I have nothing else in common, other than a mind that is closed to you, and you have every reason not to fall for either of us. Bella is your singer and me… well I'm just a disaster."

He was instantly pulling me into his arms and looking down at me like he was the luckiest man on the planet, "You're not a disaster. You are my angel, an angel come to save me from myself."

I warmed all over from his cool embrace and his words. I loved when he talked like that; Edward always made me feel beautiful, special and cherished. Edward made me feel as if I was the only woman in the world.

It made me wonder why Bella had always described feeling like less than him or that she didn't deserve him. I didn't understand how any woman did not feel beautiful and treasured in Edward's arms. His adoration was unmistakable; it was in his eyes, in his words and in his incomparable face.

One of the best things about being in love is seeing yourself through your love's eyes. If I had to guess, that was also the reason why he loved me. He was finally able to see himself through another's eyes. To see himself as the man, the lover and the hero I knew he would be.

What had he said, that I had an almost "knightly" concept of him. Yes, if I was his angel, then he was my knight, my knight in sparkling armor, and I definitely wasn't going to give him up without a fight.

Edward turned towards the door before I heard the knock. Still in his arms, Edward answered, "Come in."

Jasper and Alice entered. Alice practically danced her way into the room with Jasper smiling behind her. And for first time in a while, they both didn't look worried or upset. This house had an amazing effect on all of them, a soothing effect.

"Esme has prepared a breakfast for you downstairs." Alice stated in her singsong voice as she pirouetted around me and Edward. She gracefully made her way back to Jasper who grasped her hand and twirled her out the door.

"We will be right down." Edward turned from his exiting brother and sister, back to me. His hand leaving my waist to tuck the hair behind my ear as he gently kissed my nose. He was happily smiling down at me, the love in his eyes bright and shining, making me blissfully happy from head to toe.

But I still had to ask, "What's with the chaste kiss?"

He gave me a devilish smile, "I don't want to start something we can't stop, and Esme is waiting." With that he spun me out of his arms and led me out of Carlisle's office.

We went back downstairs to the kitchen, where Esme was happily finishing up breakfast. Of course there was enough to feed four people but I was grateful that she had tried at all. Alice and Jasper were already in the kitchen watching Esme with fascination as she set out my breakfast.

Esme was warm and vibrant, she was definitely the heart of this house and there was a joyful light in her that was like a gravitational pull on everyone around her. She was a joy to be around.

"You've given us an excuse to finally use the kitchen," Esme stated with a warm welcoming smile, she was almost beaming.

I couldn't help but smile back at her, first because of her genuine warmth and second because I realized that I'd be hearing a lot of conversations I had already knew, although this was from the movie.

That thought struck me as odd, if Jen2 wrote the books then the movies didn't exist. I should probably talk to Edward about this, or maybe I was making too much of a coincidence. After all I hadn't seen a wall of graduation caps yet and so far Edward hadn't called me 'Spider Monkey' once, thank God.

"Thank you Esme," I responded as I took my seat at the kitchen island counter and began to eat." I was feeling a little self conscious being the only one eating. As usual it was delicious, which was very surprising for people who didn't cook or eat human food. I guess vampires did everything well. As I finished my meal and pushed my plate away, Esme beamed at my progress.

Alice broke the contented silence and sullenly stated, "Carlisle has just spoken to Eleazar he will be filling us in, in a few minutes."

All at once the lighthearted mood in the kitchen seemed to disappear. As if on cue, Carlisle entered the kitchen "I have spoken with Eleazar." The look on his face and Edward's face plainly said the conversation wasn't good.

Carlisle stopped near the kitchen island and began, "I asked Eleazar why the Volturi is interested in my family. He said that any coven whose numbers become too large, becomes of interest to the Volturi. It is standard practice for that large coven to be watched and that we should not be concerned or worried."

Carlisle paused as he let that sink in, "He also mentioned that Aro has always been fascinated with our way of life. When Eleazar had chosen this lifestyle to be with Carmen, Aro could scarcely believe it and questioned him endlessly about it before he left."

Jasper leaned in, "Did you ask him about Aro seeking out vampires with special abilities?"

Carlisle shook his head, "No, Eleazar seemed to make light of everything I had been asking, and I didn't quite know how to bring up such betrayal. Questioning the Volturi's commitment to the law is not something to be done lightly even among friends."

My heart sunk, that was the most important piece of information they needed. Jasper seemed as upset as I was about not getting that information, his winsome smiling face back to a brooding pout again. It was easy to see why Jasper and Rosalie passed for brother and sister they both had that old Hollywood movie star beauty.

Carlisle continued, "There's more, he also told me that they had a visitor that Irina had become quite taken with. He had recently parted ways with the nomad clan he had been traveling with. A charming fellow named Laurant."

All eyes in the room turned towards me expectantly, but that statement had taken me by surprise as well. I shrugged my shoulders in response to their questioning eyes; I didn't have any answers either.

Edward spoke, "So Laurant left his coven and found Irina even though no one told him about the Denali Clan.

I answered without thinking, "It's like I said, something's have changed and yet others seemed destined to happen. I guess he was destined to meet Irina and she was destined to fall for him."

That gave me another sinking feeling and I turned my eyes away from Edward back to Carlisle, not wanting Edward to see my worry or my doubts. I took a calming breath to steady my voice before I spoke, "If Irina tells Laurant about all of your abilities, he will share this information with Victoria, you have to warn Irina."

Jasper's expression lifted again and he stated, "Not necessarily, we are not Victoria's enemies this time. The wolves are, and she has no reason to learn about us or even consider us a threat. As far as she knows we are just another coven in the area and we have to keep it that way. This time, we are going to be the element of surprise that brings down the newborn army not the wolves. We cannot let Victoria know we are her enemy."

Alice chimed in, "She's not hiding her plans right now, so she doesn't know she supposed to yet."

Jasper was right Victoria didn't know the Cullen's were her enemies and she wouldn't be expecting them to come to the aid of the wolves. Again I spoke without thinking, "It's the same storyline, just with the characters switched around."

This time Carlisle answered, "What do you mean by that?"

"In the notebooks Victoria wanted to avenge James by killing Bella and needed a newborn army to do it, she had to battle the Cullens for Bella; the only difference is that this time she thinks she's battling the wolves for her. Just look at James he still died while playing a hunting game against a powerful clan with Bella as his trophy, the only difference was the wolves instead of your family were protecting her. See same as in Jen2's notebook just with the characters switched around."

While everyone seemed to mull that over, I turned my attention to Alice. "Has Victoria thought of the new born army yet?"

"No, she hasn't. Right now her plans are about Bella and how to lure her away from the wolves. It hard to see all of her plans, because so much of it is centered around the wolves and their actions, and once they come into the picture, the picture gets fuzzy." Alice quicker than my eyes could follow, leaped onto the kitchen counter and took a seat. Her legs crossed gracefully at the knees and the disappointment on her face was apparent.

Jasper placed his arm around his wife's waist and instantly Alice's whole demeanor lightened up. The whole mood in the room seemed to lift; I assumed Jasper was working his magic.

Alice continued, "I agree with Jenny, as I told Edward before although the future is subjective to the choices people make, some things do seemed destined to happen. As though if you make the wrong choice circumstances will intervene and force your hand. Like in Jen2's notebook, Edward never wanted to end Bella's human life by making her a vampire and although he kept choosing against it, circumstances intervened like the Volturi decreeing Bella dies or becomes a vampire. So it seems like regardless of the choices we make, some things are destined to happen."

I felt the color drain from my face as Alice spoke my worst fears, even though Edward had chosen to leave Forks that day never to return. Here we were, back in Forks with Edward now forced to be Bella's protector, forced to be around her and maybe even fall in love with her.

Jasper interrupted my disturbing thoughts. "Well if that's the case then it's more important now than ever that we convince the Quileutes to work with us and if they are going to believe Jenny, she should have her own place in town. She also shouldn't be associated with us."

Esme glanced at me and looked chagrined at Jasper's callousness, she must have mistakenly thought my pale pallor was because of what Jasper said.

Jasper recognizing this as well, quickly continued, "You'll mostly stay here of course but there will be fewer questions if you and Edward aren't seen together. Forks is still a small town."

Edward immediately frowned at the idea, but it made sense. Jasper was as usual right on both the Quileutes and the gossip. Although in Europe because of his demeanor and confidence Edward had easily passed for twenty-one, twenty two, here in Forks he was supposed to be seventeen and I was in almost in my mid-twenties. I remembered Jessica and the gossiping about the Cullens from the Twilight notebook, our age difference would certainly be cause for gossip in this town.

Jasper ignored Edward's scowl and continued. "And since we are going to be here for a while, we need to return to school and keep up appearances."

School! My mind silently shouted, Edward had to return to school and be around Bella all day long, that's just fabulous. Damn Destiny! By the darkening look on Edward's face he wasn't happy about it either.

Carlisle turned his attention to his wife, "I will call the hospital to see if I can get my old position back and Esme dear will you make the school arrangements?"

"Of course dear," Momentarily forgetting her human pretense, Esme cleared away my plate and the remnants of the breakfast at super speed. She was obviously lost in her own thoughts and worries.

Carlisle headed back towards his office. Rosalie and Emmet passed him as they headed our way and into the kitchen, Rosalie's beautiful faced was marred with disdain, "High school again?" she complained.

Emmet responded, "Well at least we are seniors and you're a shoo-in for prom queen again."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Don't soft-soap me Emmet, its still high school.

High school? I thought as I looked around at the supermodel vampires surrounding me, again wondering how any of these people passed for mere mortals. Then I remembered this was the least of my worries.

School! Bella! Edward! Would soul-mates trump Edward's love for me? Why did Jen2 see Edward together with Bella in the first place unless they were destined to be together? So much of what Jen2 wrote was still happening, just in different ways. I had to wonder again Just how badly had I messed things up?

Edward's arm slipped around my waist and he gently pulled me from the chair to my feet. "Walk with me," he said in my favorite silken irresistible voice.

I gazed after my beautiful knight and silently thought to myself, I would follow you to the end of the universe and back, and I honestly don't know what I will do if I lose you now.

He led me out onto the back porch, off the kitchen. We stood side by side and I was met with a breathtaking view of the Olympic range's endless majestic mountains and I could see why they loved it here.

"I know what you're thinking?"

I tore my eyes away from the magnificent scenery and turned towards him with raised eyebrows and a mock half smile, "Really you can read my thoughts now?"

"No, but I am learning your expressions." He stated the words confidently but his beautiful golden eyes were full of concern.

"I don't want you to worry about Bella Swan or what Jen2 wrote, this is right," he emphasized his words by placing his cool strong arms around me, "This cannot be wrong, I have never been more sure of anything in my existence than you and I."

I immediately placed my arms around him as I looked into his warm amber eyes and I could see he meant every word. I could feel the love between us, it pulsed with a life all its own, encompassing us both.

Could this love be wrong? Whenever I was in his arms I believed as he did, that this had to be right. That it would all work out somehow.

I reached up and pulled him down to me, his kiss like all the ones before was exquisite. I wanted to lose myself in his kiss, stay in his arms and just forget about soul-mates and destiny. Edward pulled away sooner than was normal even for him and I finally heard someone clearing his throat.

I turned to see Carlisle, smiling happily if not embarrassingly for his son. "I'm sorry for interrupting but Edward we need to," Carlisle cleared his throat again unsure of his next word, "Hunt."

Edward sighed down at me and I answered, "Go. Go. The sooner you go, the sooner you return."

"I will return soon." He kissed my forehead and then went to join his father.

I tried to watch as father and son quickly disappeared into the thick green woods, but my human eyes simply could not keep up.

True to her word Esme quickly found me on the porch. She took me on her version of a tour of the house detailing all of her renovations. I appreciated her warm welcoming presence. Our tour was winding down and as I was thanking Esme, we ran into Alice. There was something I had to ask Alice, so I stopped her.

"Alice may I ask you a question about your visions?"

"Sure, follow me." I followed her as she glided into the living room area. She gracefully sat down on one of the white chairs and gestured for me to sit on the sofa.

I took my seat and asked, "Do you ever get random visions about people you don't know?"

She cocked her head to the side as she thought about how to explain. "Yes, say for example I had a vision of Carlisle helping a patient; if I focus on the patient I will usually get a vision of their future as well. Why do you ask?"

"I am trying to figure out why Jen2 had all these visions regarding Edward and Bella. Other than the fact Edward and Jen2 are both from Chicago. What's her connection to Edward or Bella?"

Alice shook her head, "Well it's not Chicago; we thought you might be descendent of a distant relative of his, but as far as we can tell that's not it. Alice hesitated before she continued, "I personally think you are the connection."

"Me?" That took me by surprise, "What do you mean?"

Her face was apologetic as she spoke, "You know all about us, maybe Jen2's subconscious was not as ready to die as she was. So it's possible that you might have stumbled across Edward somehow through Jen2's visions and focused on him as a means of saving yourself through immortality. Once you did, you saw this whole possible future with Bella. But when Edward didn't return to Forks right away, you stepped in."

Her words made me shiver with dread; if Alice was right then I may have deliberately put myself in Edward's path. I didn't like this possibility at all, the idea that my stepping in hadn't been altruistic, but self-serving was awful, but I had to admit it made sense.

"No wonder you didn't like me, I don't think I like me right now." I said aloud.

Alice gave me a reassuring smile, "That was before I knew you and how happy you would make Edward. Regardless of the reason you found us, I am glad you are here and I hope we can be friends."

I returned her smile, "I would really like that." I knew from the notebooks what a great friend Alice would be and I could really use someone other than Edward to talk to here. I got up to leave and paused as I had a second thought, "You know you and Bella were supposed to be great friends, I'm sorry about that."

Alice stood up and practically floated over to the glass wall as the sunlight shimmered off her skin, she stared out the window at the magnificent view and absentmindedly said, "That's not your fault, once Edward chose not to return to Forks that day, good or bad, he changed all our futures."

"Thanks again for everything Alice. I think I'll rest up while waiting for Edward," and I made my way back to Edwards's room. As I lay down on the comfortable black couch awaiting Edward's return my mind kept mulling over my conversation with Alice. I fell asleep again wondering if I truly was an interloper.

EPOV

Carlisle and I had made quick work of some local deer and although I wanted to return quickly. I knew he wanted to talk, so I sat upon a large boulder and I waited for him to ask.

We were surrounded by the thick green life that seemed to cover everything in this forest. So much so that it seemed to have its own pulse. We all loved it here for more than just its beauty. We had many homes around the world but Forks was perfect, its weather allowed us the freedom to come and go as we please that so many places didn't.

Carlisle took a seat beside me bringing me back to the matter at hand, "So tell me about you and Jenny."

I felt myself smile from the inside-out, as that vibrant alive feeling pulsed through my frozen veins warming me all over. "She's unlike any human I have ever known. I don't know how or when but somewhere along the way she became all I could think about and feelings I didn't even know I was capable of consumed me. It's as if all this time I merely existed and she has brought me back to life again. The pure joy I feel at her nearness, the indescribable pleasure of just touching her cheek. She is heaven on earth to me Carlisle. Mere words cannot do justice to the feelings I have for her.

The smile on his face grew wide and he silently thought to himself, That certainly sounds like love.

I answered his thoughts as was our habit, "Yes, I love her; I love her more than I thought was possible, the depth of my love for her astounds me. I can't measure my love, there's nothing to compare it to."

His happiness at my declaration was unmistakable and he silently added, So you love her and she...?

I continued his thought, "And she loves me. I want to marry her but," I paused and sighed deeply before my next words, "I have nothing to offer her, none of the things she truly wants." My thoughts turned to Rosalie and her resentment of not being able to have a child.

Nothing? He answered again silently, Edward, you can save her.

I answered him incredulously, "At the cost of her soul?"

Carlisle shook his head adamantly and he answered aloud and with certainty, "I don't believe that."

"You can't guarantee me that."

"Edward there are no guarantees in this world."

My frustration was palpable, "You don't think I haven't thought of it? Sometimes it's almost all I think about, the possibility of having her by my side forever, but I love her and love doesn't destroy."

Carlisle stared out into the thick green forest not really seeing it at all. Although he tried not to, Carlisle thoughts turned to making me a vampire and wondering if he made the right decision.

I was immediately contrite, "Carlisle, never think that, I have always been thankful for the incredible family you have given me and the love I bear all of you. And I have never been more grateful than I am now that you made me an immortal. Had you not, I would have died in nineteen-eighteen never having known the glory of first love, this magnificent in-love feeling and the exhilarating relationship that I share with Jenny. As I told Jenny just yesterday if I ceased to exist right now, it would have all been worth it because I have loved her. Without you that would not have been possible."

Carlisle smiled a world weary smile, "Thank you son, sometime's when I hear you talk, you sound so embittered. Almost like Rosalie and I have to wonder if I made the right decision with you, as I so often wonder regarding her."

"No Carlisle I have heard Rosalie's thoughts and although she would have loved to have grown old and had children and grandchildren. Royce took that choice from her, not you. She would have died never knowing the kind of love a real family shares or the true love that her and Emmett share. Although she's bitter at what Royce took from her, she may not say it often but she is thankful for our family and Emmett."

My words pleased him and Carlisle's thoughts returned to Jenny, So what does Jenny want?

"She wants to be with me, but she doesn't want to be a vampire."

He was so surprised by my answer he spoke aloud again, "She has said this to you?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "No but it was only after I told her I loved her that she asked me to turn her. Not because she wants to be a vampire, not even to save herself, more so because she's afraid of what I will do after she passes. That damned notebook, has her convinced I will do something stupid." I grabbed the nearest rock and pulverized it in my hand venting some of my frustration as rock dust fell silently to the forest floor.

Carlisle placed his hand upon my shoulder; that got my attention, so I turned to face him.

His eyes were solemn and I could tell by his thoughts he earnestly wanted me to understand what he was about to say.

"Son, if you lose her you will mourn her forever, imagine the incredible love, happiness and joy you have right now, turned into the deepest sorrow, pain and grief. You see how crazed Victoria is over the loss of her mate. She is as much on a suicide mission as she is on a revenge mission and her reaction is not uncommon for vampires who have lost their mate."

Only Carlisle with his endless compassion could see things through the eyes of Victoria. The rest of us saw as her as a villain who wanted to bring destruction and pain upon the Quileute's and Forks. He saw her for what she really was, a being suffering unendurable pain and grief, lashing out and probably looking for an end to her own pain. I didn't think it was possible but my esteem for my surrogate father rose even higher.

Carlisle then patted my shoulder and said, "Come, you don't have to be a mind-reader to know you are anxious to return to Jenny."

I was taken a back, "You don't want to talk about Bella Swan?" The mere mention of her name brought a surge of venom into my mouth and although I had just overfed, flames licked at the back of my throat. I swallowed hard.

"No, you wouldn't be here if you couldn't handle it, I have faith in you Edward and I told Jasper as much."

With those words, Carlisle rose and silently sprinted into the forest. So Jasper had already discussed his concerns regarding Bella Swan with Carlisle. I choked down the venom still pooling in my mouth. Carlisle couldn't feel what Jasper did. He didn't know how badly just the thought of Bella Swan made me struggle with an insatiable thirst. I wished I believed in myself the way Carlisle did, the way Jenny did.

Jenny... The thought of her helped as it always did. I took one last look around the forest leaving my worries and doubts here for the trees to ponder. For the moment I will just allow myself to be happy, happy to return to the woman I love. Happy that she is waiting for me at my home, I took off at a run and caught Carlisle in three strides.

JPOV

I awoke to find Esme and Rosalie standing above me. I brushed the sleep from my eyes and saw there was genuine concern on their faces. "Is something wrong? Is Edward okay?"

Esme quickly answered, "Edward is fine dear, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

There was compassion in Esme's voice, "You were shouting in your sleep calling out to Jennessa."

Hot tears sprang into my eyes as pain seared through me, for a moment I couldn't breathe. I just stared up at Esme as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I clutched at my chest, as the hole in my heart, the one I had been trying desperately to ignore burst wide open. A torrent of tears poured forth as fresh pain ripped through me.

"My daughter!" I choked out through sobs. Strong cool arms surrounded me, and although it was not Edward I could feel her genuine concern and compassion.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry for your loss." Esme's compassionate words reached my pain racked brain as she gently rocked me back and forth as a mother would a child.

I clung to her, to the comfort and solace she was offering, as the loss and agony tore through me. Wave after wave of grief washed over me drowning me in sorrow and pain. I'm not sure how long this went on, but exhaustion and numbness began to finally takeover, slowly beating back the pain with its black nothingness. But this was better, so much better than the pain; I reached for this escape and let myself go under.

"I am okay, I didn't faint again and I'm not going to the hospital." I got up off his black leather couch to prove my point.

Edward was over protective to a fault, since he'd come back from hunting, he was insisting we go to the hospital. Trying to appease him, I had even let Carlisle exam me and he said I was fine.

"Why are you so stubborn?" Edward asked, as he ran his fingers through his bronzed hair and paced back in forth like the mountains lions he so famously hunted.

"Why are you so overprotective and overbearing?" I responded and his face fell into a hurt frown.

I caved, "Edward this is grief, plain and simple, only time is going to make this better. There's nothing they can do for me at the hospital, there's nothing anyone can do for me. I am mourning people that don't even exist."

There was a trace of pain on his beautiful face. He couldn't fix this and couldn't protect me from this pain. Edward wasn't used to being rendered powerless.

My heart went out to him. I crossed the room and grasped his hand to stop his pacing. "I just have to go through this, but I don't have to do it alone. I have you and your love will see me through it."

He encircled me in his cool steely embrace. I let that languid warm feeling wash over me already feeling better. When I was in his arms I could think about all this, without all the suffering. I realized that sleeping in his arms had kept me together and kept away the dreams.

Mental note to self, no naps or sleep without Edward until most of this Victoria-Quileute-Newborn Army crisis is over. We can't afford me falling apart. Another part of me recognized I was just putting off the inevitable.

Due to Edwards overprotective nature regarding my health concerns we did not attempt to meet the Quileute's that day.

The next morning per Jasper's advice, we rented me a small blue one bedroom cottage. It was perfect. It was on the outskirts of Forks, so not a lot of nosey neighbors but also close enough to the Cullen house for Edwards's peace of mind. It had a cozy living room with a fireplace, a vintage kitchen and one bath. The bedroom was actually a loft overlooking the living room. It was a perfect cottage retreat, although I'd probably never be there if it is up to Edward.

I was almost surprised he let me see the apartment and sign the lease by myself, because he was so overprotective. But Edward heeded Jasper's advice, Forks was a small town. Too small for Edward to be at my lease signing, not that he wasn't just thirty yards away at all times in the woods watching.

Now that I had a new address, it was time to handle a few legal matters. I stopped at the post office to put in a temporary change of address for Jen2's mail. I called her building and had the building superintendent forward all the current mail and packages in her box. I also called the military to ask if they would ship Jen2's brother's things to the cottage. No matter what was in them, I still wanted Jen2's journals.

I spent the next seven days at the Cullen house. Every day we got ready to meet the Quileute's and every day after school, Bella went to La Push instead of Jacob coming to her house.

My days were spent getting to know each of the Cullen's better and my nights were filled with Edward and exhilarating practice, passionate practice and more exquisite practice. I didn't know what Edward was holding back for, and although it was driving me a little crazy I always looked forward to the night and more practice.

My most surprising day was my chat with Rosalie, the boys had gone hunting and Rosalie found me on the porch.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Her blond locks glowing as her magnificent skin sparkled in the setting sunlight.

"Yes its breathtaking, I can see why you love it here."

"Forks is one of our favorite homes."

I knew Rosalie wasn't one for small talk so I waited for her to speak her mind.

"Your notebooks are very interesting. I did not like the version of myself I read about in your notebooks. I wasn't always like this, vain, selfish and frivolous yes, but I wasn't bitter I was happy. Maybe that's why it's been so hard for me. I've been living in the past, holding on to all that I've lost instead of being happy and enjoying the life and love that I that I have now. The threat of the Volturi has made focus on what I could lose now, Emmett and my family. I realize I have to let go of what I cannot have, to embrace all that I do have. Thank you, not just for warning my family and making Edward finally happy, but for the notebooks, it's rare that we get to see ourselves so clearly."

That conversation took me by surprise I was expecting the whole "You don't want this life conversation" not a self revelation talk. Then again, Bella didn't have a terminal illness cutting her human life short. Either way I happy for her, she's right it's a rare gift to see ourselves as we truly are, not as we believe ourselves to be. After that conversation Rosalie actually seemed nicer and not just to me, but in general. Maybe she was just happier.

Today was Carlisle's first day back at the hospital. Edward had gone hunting with Emmett. Alice, Esme and Rosalie had gone to Seattle to shop, they had invited me but I declined. I had plenty of clothes between the things Alice bought me and the items I'd chosen at the boutique in Spain. I wasn't sure how or when, but Edward must have repurchased all the items I had returned for cash back in Spain, because when I unpacked they were all magically in my suitcase and all perfectly tailored.

Just one of the many amazing abilities of Edward, he was like magic, my wish was his command. Just like this bed, it was a replica of the one we shared in Spain. Edward had purchased and installed it on our second day. As I lay in the new pale blue and gold draped king-sized bed, still reveling in the passionate memories of all our practice. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

Jasper gingerly peeked his blonde head in the doorway, "Are you alright, I don't mean to bother you but I promised Edward that I would check up on you and it sounded like you might be upset."

My face flushed; of course my accelerated heartbeat had brought attention to itself again. Being human in this house was highly embarrassing on so many levels. Just yesterday, Emmett teased me that my heart had beat so hard and fast the previous night, he thought it was going to explode. I had turned a deep shade of red and Emmett was rewarded with a blow by Edward that took him off his feet and knocked him clean across the living room. Although the others found it funny, Edward and Esme didn't. Even though it was at my expense, I was glad Emmett thought he could tease me that meant he was comfortable around me.

I shook off those thoughts and quickly made-up another excuse, "I'm fine, just uh... worried about still not being able to talk to the Quileute's."

Jasper didn't look convinced but he let it go. "If you need anything just ask," he turned to leave.

"Jasper wait, I have been meaning to ask you a question?"

He turned back towards me, a winsome half smile on his face as he charmingly said, "Ask away, maam."

I liked Jasper and our relationship. It was the opposite of his and Bella's. Unlike Bella, I didn't make him thirsty and he seemed to be accepting of me from day one. Also outside of Edward, he was always himself around me. I was also sure Jasper had more than a little to do with Alice's change of heart towards me.

I sat up, "When you talk of the Volturi, I hear the same suspicion that I feel, but in the notebook you spoke of the Volturi with respect and reverence."

Understanding dawned on Jasper's handsome face. "It's always a good idea to have a healthy respect for your enemy and make no mistake they are our enemy."

Jasper entered the room; he moved with the same leonine grace of Edward and continued, "Before I saw the Volturi as a guard who beat back the chaos. But after reading the notebooks, I began to look at the Volturi with new eyes. I saw a very different picture of the Volturi, one where they weren't our saviors but dictators. One of the best ways to seize power and stay in power is to pretend to be the police, that way you make the rules and only you can break them."

He walked over to the wall of CD's and began quickly browsing through them, "Also during the southern wars I saw firsthand how greed and power corrupts and turns even the best of friend's into enemies."

He found what he was looking for, plucked out the CD and turned back towards me, "That is why Carlisle is struggling; he is having a difficult time seeing his old friends this way."

"I understand that." Betrayal was always hard to face and even harder to accept.

"Anything else?" He asked as he headed for the door.

"Yes, please help Edward tomorrow as much as you can with Bella; it's going to be very difficult for him seeing her again." A strange look flittered across Jasper's face at my words and it was quickly replaced with a reassuring smile.

It was the topic no one brought up, at least not in front of me but everyone was concerned with Edward having to be around Bella.

It was the reason he was hunting now so he would be overfed before he saw her in school. I knew from Midnight Sun just how difficult it was going to be for him.

"I'll do my best, maam," and he gave me a quick nod.

"And thanks for checking up on me."

He paused at the doorway and his handsome face turned serious as he solemnly answered, "No thank you Jenny. Without you, we would have never known the threat of the Volturi or Victoria and to be forewarned is to be forearmed."

I felt the guilt well up inside of me, as I realized the level of trust he had placed in me, "Well don't thank me just yet."

Jasper eyed me curiously, "What are you not saying?"

"A lot." Enough to fill a whole book, I thought silently. Despair now mixed with guilt and I felt my shoulders slump under the weight of it all.

Jasper's expression became concerned almost alarmed, "How bad is it?"

"Real bad."

"What are you waiting for?"

I shrugged my shoulders in a helpless gesture, "There are things I have to discuss with Edward first."

"I understand," he nodded and answered gravely, "How long do we have before it gets real bad?"

"As long as the timelines stay the same, then I guess December after Edwards's graduation."

"That gives us some time but don't wait too long."

"I won't."

Jasper quietly closed the door and left me to my thoughts. I was so concerned about meeting the Quileute's I'd let the other danger fall to the waist side. I was going to have to talk to Edward about Breaking Dawn and soon.

No sooner than Jasper shut the door, a commotion downstairs shook the whole house. I jumped out of the bed and ran downstairs towards the commotion.

Jasper, Emmett and Edward were in the large white living room and the tension in the room was palpable.

Edward was pacing back and forth and his eyes were black with fury, "She is not going anywhere near those deranged wolves."

Emmett was also pacing and he nodded his head in agreement, "I have to agree with Edward, these new young wolves are aggressive and have no sense of the treaty when it comes to us."

Jasper stance was on high alert, but he calmly asked, "Explain to me again what happened, this time from the beginning."

Edward took a deep breath more to calm himself then to speak and launched into his tale, "Alice had a vision of Victoria attacking Mike Newton and some friends on the trail. She called me so we could intercept Victoria. As we headed to stop Victoria we didn't know she was being trailed by the wolves. They were all headed straight for the hikers. We tried to cut all of them off before they reached Mike and his friends. I was going to chase Victoria and lead her away from the hikers while Emmett diverted the pack. Instead the pack turned on Emmett and me as soon as they saw us."

Edward momentarily paused his pacing as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "A fight ensued and Victoria got away clear, but when the hikers got too close Sam ordered the wolves to back off and protect the hikers because that was their number one priority."

Edward's rolled his eyes and his next words were laced with sarcasm, "As if the hikers were in danger from us. I signaled Emmett that we should leave, so the hikers would not see any of us."

"As we left I scanned the hikers thoughts, they didn't see us, but the wolves are such huge beasts they could not be missed and the whole group of hikers got an eyeful of them. Mike Newton is on his way to the station now to file a report on sighting the wolves. Of course the pack is blaming us for being sited."

"Why would the wolves attack you and Emmett?" Jasper asked, looking as confused by this turn of events as I was.

Edward again paused his pacing, his anger and contempt evident as he balled his fists and held them tightly to his sides, "I read the packs' mind; they already think we broke the treaty when Emmett accidentally crossed into La Push lands during their last altercation, so now it's open season on all vampires."

I gasped and tried to catch my breath momentarily focusing everyone's attention on me. Could it possibly get any worse?

Edward immediately started to make his way towards me but Jasper grabbed his arm to stop him and also I believe to calm him down because Edward visibly relaxed. I found my feet again and made my way to the sofa.

Jasper pressed on, "What else did you find out?"

Edward continued, "The pack is already seven strong and Sam is making sure that we only see the same three wolves so we would not be aware of their true numbers."

I was so surprised I spoke my thoughts out loud, "What? Seven already? That's way ahead of schedule? Why did they develop so early?"

Edward shrugged his shoulders and continued, "No matter what the council elders believed about us before, Sam believes an all out fight to the death with us is inevitable."

Another sharp intake of breath from me, no it couldn't come to that. I needed to talk to the Quileute's as soon as possible. Convincing the wolves to work with the Cullen's was going to be next to impossible, but not as impossible as re-convincing Edward that I still had to try.

"This is really bad," Jasper confirmed shaking his head.

I stood to my feet, "Well that settles it I need to talk to the Quileute's today before this gets any worse."

Edward growled in my direction, "There's no way in hell I am letting you anywhere near these werewolves. They are dangerous and looking for any excuse to fight."

Emmett quickly concurred, "I have to agree again with Edward on this, these wolves are not their predecessors they are way out of control."

Great I'd lost Emmett too. I looked at Jasper pleadingly but the expression on his face said I'd lost him as well.

Jasper pulled out his cell phone and immediately informed Carlisle of the latest turn of events.

Just then Rosalie, Esme and Alice arrived with packages in hand. As the boys informed them of the latest skirmish with the young aggressive wolves, I formulated a plan. The girls didn't take the news much better than the boys did. I knew there was no convincing any of them now, so I didn't try.

But I also knew what had to be done. Tomorrow they all had to return to school. So while they were all occupied with Edward not hurting Bella; I was going to go straight to La Push. I would tell Esme I was going into town to purchase some things I needed, this would buy me enough time to meet with the Quileute's tomorrow.

I'm back I have actually been writing all this time so I could get ahead because my new son keeps me on my toes. I will finish this story and big thanks to everyone who is reading, reviewing, adding and/or emailing it all it has meant so much to me! It makes my day and inspires me when I get a review, an email, a favorite story or story alert in my inbox! Thanks again for hanging in there with me!