Chapter Twenty- Selection
(Author's Note: The epilogue, which came to about 5,000 words, is being split into two consecutive chapters, making the final total twenty one. This is not the last one.)
Kari. Her name burned into my brain, imprinting itself so deeply, I thought the fires of Hell had inhabited my mind. I had not seen this child in ten years, and upon simply hearing her name, my constrained rage and inner turmoil of those times slowly poured through my mind, drowning me.
I had no choice but to confront her, to show her that the nightmare she endured a decade ago still had not dissipated. I was alive, and she had to learn to deal with it. I didn't expect my beloved LadyDevimon to come up with a convincing lie off the top of her head.
"Gatomon…" I heard Kari say, "what's going on? Why are you here again? Why did you run away from us? If it was something I said—"
"It's okay," LadyDevimon responded. I admit that I hated to eavesdrop on the conversation, but it was of the utmost importance. Constantine had fallen silent as well, knowing full well that this was not a good time to talk. LadyDevimon continued, "You didn't say anything, but something had happened to me. I already told you that I was pregnant, didn't I?"
"Yeah… I think so. But why did you flee? Running away from your friends isn't going to solve anything."
She sighed and responded, "I felt it would be easier this way." I chuckled softly to myself, musing over the situation. In the days since coming into contact with me, LadyDevimon had become increasingly more at ease with lying and stretching the truth. A hollow victory for her, I suppose, for all lies come crashing down.
"Gatomon… why'd didn't you tell us—whoa… Gatomon, is that Wizardmon?"
"Oh? Yes, this is Wizardmon. I found a necromancer willing to bring him back… for a price." Kari's anguished cries, her squeals of utter joy, echoed throughout the main hall. Even Constantine began to smile as he peered around the corner to watch her.
"Daddy," he whispered up to me in the softest voice he could manage, "that lady with Mommy is really pretty."
I merely nodded as Kari stood up again. He did have a point: ten years had been kind to this child. She was still dressed in her ubiquitous pink, complimented by a pair of dark blue shorts. She grew her hair out, and she no longer carried a whistle or a camera around her neck. Instead, she had a simple chain with a small ring dangling from it. It must have been too small to fit on her fingers, long and slender. She was a woman now… and even I would still be a bit intimidated by the Keeper of Light.
Unintentionally, she gave me a wayward glance as she rose to her feet. Immediately, I could see the wave of fear flooding through her. She took a double take and I shielded myself from the apprehensive glare she was to give me. Instead, she caught Constantine's eyes, who had smiled in response.
"Hi there…" she kneeled down cautiously, beckoning him to come her way. He was ready to embrace this former enemy of mine without a second thought. I gripped the back of his shirt, preventing him from moving. As he tried to make his way over, he felt me jerk him back.
Forlornly, he waved at her, trying to look away. "Hi miss."
"Hello there, little one. Are you stuck?"
Thinking hard, I could see that he was ready to answer with the honest truth that I was holding him here. I implanted an idea into his head, which he latched onto shakily. "No… Mommy told me to stay right here and hide."
"Oh…" I heard her sigh softly. "You must be the kid that Gatomon mentioned. It's alright, you can come out now." He shook his head vehemently, so much force behind it that I could hear Kari's approaching footsteps. "It's okay, I'll just come to you."
I had no choice but to move quickly. My thoughts flew to the instinct question all intelligent creatures face at one time or another: flight or fight? It seemed that hiding the truth from this intelligent one would be rather difficult, certainly not a challenge I was willing to undertake. I had decided that it was useless; I was to stay here and be found.
She picked him up off the ground, ready to give him a ride on her back or something along those lines when she saw me. Our eyes locked. My stare was rather apathetic while her eyes grew in horror. "You…" It was the only word she could manage before all of the pieces fell into place. She took fleeting glimpses of Constantine as she staggered back toward LadyDevimon and Wizardmon.
Constantine cocked his head in confusion and extended a hand toward the frightened human. "My name is Constantine. What's yours?"
She pulled out of her shell-shocked state to answer politely, "Kari."
"Kari… that sounds nice. You seem very…exceptional." She gave him a puzzled look, probably something along the lines on why such a small child knows such a descriptive word. He seemed to attune to this frequency she was emanating and continued, "Daddy taught me how to speak ar…ar…"
"Articulately," I finished.
"Yes. Thank you Daddy." He flashed Kari a smile, involuntarily revealing his fangs to her. Another wave of worry rushed her. He gazed at the floor as he retracted them. I watched her retreat back toward LadyDevimon, obviously congregating with her. Their voices hissed at each other as the two seemed to bicker silently.
"Gatomon, you didn't tell me that Myotismon was still alive or that he's—"
"Yes, alright already. Yes, he's the father. Yes, he made me this way. Can you please not dwell on the details? They're hardly relevant anymore."
"Hardly relevant? This changes everything! The digimon that wanted us dead—"
"But that's not him, Kari! Not anymore! All you have to do is ask him yourself. Or you can talk to our son. Constantine is such an innocent that he had trouble lying. Trust me, you can tell when he is."
Kari huffed irritably as she turned to Wizardmon, her voice normal again. "Wizardmon, please. Talk some sense into Gatomon here. I'm worried that he's messed with her mind or something."
Wizardmon, being the honest friend that he is, "Myotismon has done nothing of the sort. I would have caught on rather quickly if he had."
She hollered, "It just doesn't make sense!" Silence followed, never comforting.
Constantine decided to speak up. "Kari… why do you think my daddy's bad? All he ever did was teach me how to read and to speak more 'ticulately. And he loves me… just like he loves Mommy. Don't you have a mommy and daddy that love you too?"
"Yes… and an older brother."
"Then you know exactly how I feel. They're my parents… and they're good."
For a moment, Kari seemed to be frozen in place. She stared at me—or rather, through me—hoping that my eyes could provide her with some insight, an answer. I softened my look, my eyes showing her the indifference slowly fading into oblivion. She nodded her head, trying to understand. She followed my eyes as they looked gingerly into LadyDevimon's, and then to Constantine's.
She brushed a long strand of hair out of her face, as she looked me directly in the eyes and said, "I think I get it. I don't know how in the world you somehow became 'good', but… you look different. You don't have that same scowl on your face with all those horrible deeds jumbling around in your head. You can't—you won't—kill again unless someone tries to hurt your loved ones. Am I making any sense to you?"
"Yes, you make perfect sense, Kari." I said her name with such ease, not a hint of antagonism in my voice. She, amazingly, smiled back at me with a slight agitation.
"It's such a shame though… I was hoping to find Gatomon and take her home with me… but…"
"Don't you worry about a thing, Kari. I have everything settled."
"You do? How?"
"Everyone follow me out." I lead everybody out into the front of the castle. They were all bewildered as to my plan, especially LadyDevimon. I turned to face her, holding her hands in mine, speaking clearly from the heart.
"LadyDevimon, you know that this whole situation is rather confusing and not to be taken lightly. As you could see, even your beloved partner, Kari, could not comprehend this situation. It took her some time."
"That's all everyone needs is time to understand that we're in love—"
I pursed her lips shut. "Let me continue, please. I know that Kari is still struggling with this startling revelation. She seems immediate to forgive, but the others… your friends… they are not like her. That is why I am simply going to have to relinquish you to make your own decisions. After all, you are old enough to know what the heart wants."
"Wait… are you saying that you don't want me anymore?"
"No, anything but that. Just that you can decide who you wish to spend your life with. I can see how much you love Wizardmon as well, and that you are perfectly happy with him. It's time I gave you a choice. No more selfishness. My love, it is all up to you."
She stumbled through her words. "But what if I'm not sure about this? What can I do to keep you and Wizardmon satisfied? I want both, but I can't keep you both happy. Please Myotismon, tell me which to choose! I don't want to be torn apart by grief!"
I sighed, knowing that I was unwilling to make this choice for her. "I cannot tell you what you plan to do for the rest of your life. But know this: I will always love you, no matter which option you pick." I kissed her hand, emphasizing my point.
She gave me an aspiring look and spoke, "Really? You truly mean that?"
I replied wryly, "Would I ever lie to you?"
She chuckled softly to herself and seemed to mull over her options. Her face looked lost in thought for a few moments, comparing us to each other. Her heart was torn, for her future and her happiness lay in the balance. This choice would surely either condemn her or free her. Her eyes turned to Wizardmon, and I cringed. I could just imagine her telling him that she loved him more than me. Instead, she gazed at him solemnly. "Wizardmon… I'm sorry it had to come to this. Really, I am. It's just—"
"It's all right, Gatomon, I understand," he interjected. "After all, you have a son to take care of. I'm sure he'll be trouble, just like his father anyway." He laughed dryly, and after seeing no one join in, abruptly stopped himself. He recomposed himself and gave LadyDevimon a big hug. "I'll still love you Gatomon. Remember that."
"I will always remember that." Her choked sob seemed to choke me as well.
He then faced me and uttered, "Well, good luck. Keep her safe and well fed. And make sure she's happy. I can't have her complaining to me that she regrets her decision, alright?"
"I promise to keep her in high spirits."
"Good." He eyed Constantine and ruffled the boy's hair. "I'll miss you too, kiddo." I heard my son laughing a bit, waving a bit uneasily. Picking his head up, he said, "Come on Kari. I'm sure the old Digidestineds are just dying to hear from me again." The distance between the two misfits and my small family grew larger as they moved down the long, ominous stairway.
I turned to see LadyDevimon in a disheveled state. Her lip trembled as her eyes filled with tears. As one single tear rolled down her cheek, I immediately thought of my promise to him. And I know how I am: I can't ever break a promise, even to someone I'm not too fond of. I took her in my arms and embraced her, whispering into her ear, "You know as well as I do that the heart wants what the heart wants, and apparently, it wants you to be happy with Wizardmon."
"No… you're toying with me. I've made my choice, so why do you wish for me to go back on it? I want you to be happy—"
"My own satisfaction comes second to yours. This choice that you were to make did not have to be practical, but heartfelt. And he could sense, as well as I, that you weren't being very honest to your heart. Think deeply. Follow your instincts. Women have intuitions for a reason, and that is so their heart has a second, stronger outlet."
"I see." She held onto me even tighter. "Well… is this… goodbye?"
"For now. Hopefully, you will come back to visit Constantine and I."
She chuckled, almost in a heartfelt manner. "Con. He likes that nickname, or at least he likes it when I use it."
I eyed Constantine, who nodded his head in approval. "Alright then. I'll keep that in mind from now on."
She was ready to walk away when she turned to face the two of us. First, to Con: "I promise, I'll visit you soon. " To me, it was simple: "Never forget that I do love you."
"I would never, ever let such beautiful words escape the confines of my mind."
With a smile on her face, she jumped off of the ledge, descending toward Wizardmon, hollering his name. Though Con was crying into my leg, I had no tears. She seemed so happy, and for the first time, she was actually flying.
Every day, we yearned to fly away… to taste freedom. For the first time, she knows the feeling that we had often strived for. She's free, truly free.