Chapter Nineteen

"Saeko…are you alright?" The voice was so many different things. Gentle, cautious, caring. I heard it. In the back of my head. Distant, far away. I gazed at the ground. I couldn't bring myself to respond. Couldn't care enough. All I could think about was that woman. And how I felt about myself after seeing her again… I hated myself. I hated this place. I hated her. Even now I couldn't get her beautiful eyes out of my mind, her pale body, and the way she made my body ache for her. I wanted to feel her again, longed for it like a puppy separated from its master. More than that, I wanted to tear the disgusting cock from my body that hardened and heated from her words alone, stab myself in the stomach that tingled and ached for her whenever she grazed those manicured fingers along my skin. So disgusting. I was so disgusting.

Even after so long, after so much pain…I couldn't bring myself to be repulsed by that woman. It was clear to me now, that I was more despicable than she ever could be.

"Saeko!" My eyes flicked upward. I vaguely recalled where I was. One of the guest bedrooms. I glanced around, fisting the covers of the bed that lay beneath me. The lights were off, the curtains on the windows tightly shut. In the dark of the room, Saya's golden eyes were staring back at me. I laughed dryly as I stared at her. Saya really was so beautiful…In the shadows, she looked so much like her mother.

Another reason to hate myself. How had I not noticed? The pink hair, the snobbish way they both commanded those around them…like they were better than everyone, deserved more. Even their voice, so similar. How did I not know they were related!? Mother and daughter no less and it hurt and I wanted to die because I could see Yuriko's eyes in the ones that stared at me right now. How ironic was it…that I couldn't even do anything about it after all these years? I'd honed myself and my body to the peak of perfection. So that when I finally saw that smug, nasty cunt I'd slap that grin off her face one and for all. Yet I was a quivering little baby in that first meeting and here I was, in her care. The only reason why we were all alive? Her. I dropped my gaze back to the ground, smirking.

Saya put her face close to mine. Her fresh perfume smelled so good in my nose. "What are you doing Saeko? Holed up in this room with all the lights off, just sitting here. I could stand watching it for an hour but it's been three. You haven't even said hi to the others!" I gazed back at her, eyes empty. My hair fell loose from my eyes as I lowered my head again.

"Leave me alone, Takagi." I felt a pinch in my heart when a hurt expression passed Saya's face. I forced myself to keep my mouth shut. To not comfort her. Tears brimmed her eyes, and she swallowed as she tried to force them back. I felt a twitch, between my legs. A part of me loved the way she looked when she was sad. A big part of me. The pinkette gazed at me for a long, heavy moment. Then, she reached forward and her hand slopwly ran along my cheek. Cupping my face, she lifted it until I was gazing upon her.

"I won't. I want to be here with you," She sat on the mattress beside me, it sinking beneath our combined weights. In the darkness, I could see her blush. My heart pounded. So cute. No- No that wasn't right! She was the daughter of the woman who raped me! That bitch of a woman probably cared about Saya. What an easy way to get revenge on that woman…handing Yuriko her daughter's broken, used body… A shudder coursed through me. My stomach turned at the same time I felt myself stiffen.

Why couldn't Saya just leave me alone!? Of course. Takagi's thought they had the right to do anything they wanted. Just like back then. Even though I'd said no, even though I'd been so young. I stood quickly, "I said leave me alone," I snapped, sneering. "But if you really want me to fuck you I guess I could."

Shock passed over her face as I grabbed her wrists, holding them tightly. She suddenly realized what was happening, and began to struggle. A streak of hot arousal tore through my belly. When I buried my face in her throat, had her beneath me, I could almost pretend it was Yuriko. Saya crumpled beneath me easily. She was so weak and pathetic. I spun her, pushing her backwards until her back was flat on the bed I'd been sitting on.

"Saeko! Stop it this instant!" Saya shouted. I closed my eyes, drank in that tone. Even now, this fucking Takagi thought that she could do whatever she wished. Could tell me what to do like I was her bitch. Her legs twisted, to kick at me. She was flailing uselessly.

How sad.

"Saeko! Knock it off this isn't fucking funny!"

I removed my hand from one wrist, to grab her by the champagne colored locks. I twisted until she squealed, and brought her face close to mine. "This isn't a joke Takagi. Look me in the eyes." I wet my lips and, teary-eyed, she did as told, gazing right back at me. She flinched under the heat of my gaze. "Can you feel it, Takagi? How much I want this? Like this. You squealing and begging me to stop…I have urges. I can't treat you all the same. Rei, so hot and passionate. Shizuka like a delicate porcelain doll, so fragile…and you…" I laughed, grinning, "Well. I'm gonna fuck you like the snobby pig you are."

Saya trembled. Her lips were quivering. So small and pale. So kissable. But no…she didn't deserve my kisses. Not a Takagi. "If that's what you want to do," Saya whispered, relaxing in my fierce grip. "Then do it. I won't resist. If that's what it takes for you to feel better. Because I love you," she smiled weakly. It was like a bullet through my chest, those words. Make me…feel better?

My eyes widened. Her words, her expression. They hit me hard, until I couldn't breathe. What the hell was I even doing? I practically leapt away, gripping my hair hard. My head pounded. Suddenly, like a heat flash, everything was so hot. So impossible to think. I was a monster. I was going to…to rape Saya. I was going to enjoy it. I dug my nails into my scalp, the pain not enough of a punishment for what I had been about to do. What I'd done to Saya. Sweet little innocent Saya. No, no she wasn't like her mother- never Saya. Not the beautiful girl who'd sobbed so purely as she killed her first undead, not unselfish little Saya who took the few scraps of attention I'd tossed her way like they were some rare metal.

A part of me had known. Known they were related. Such a small part of me, that kept me from treating her with the love and affection she deserved. Even when I had her pinned up on that Humvee during that stupid bet. I hadn't fantasized about making love with her. I had been hurting her, there had been blood in that morbid fantasy- I slammed my fists into the wall.

I would never change. I would never be normal.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I whispered, biting into my bottom lip. "I…there is…something wrong with me…I need to be put down. I'm uncontrollable!" I marched over to where I had placed my new blade. I unsheathed it. "I'm filthy. I'm no better than…" I trembled. Saya couldn't know. She could never know about what a monster her mother was! My eyes burned with tears. I lifted the blade, closing my eyes. What I had to do was clear…I lifted the blade, pressed the very tip against my belly.

"Saeko…please relax. I'm not angry with you." There was a shuffling noise behind me. I heard her footsteps, so soft. Her arms wrapped around my waist, as she tucked herself against my back. I flinched. "At first I was scared. I was never angry. I'm not scared anymore. I could never be scared of you. I cried while you were gone. I missed you so much. I don't care who you are or how you act, I can't lose you. Never again." She whimpered gently, I knew she was crying.

No no no why did I have to make her cry?

"I don't want you to punish yourself." She reached around, gently pushed the blade away. "I want you to live."

I let go of the sword. My will…it was so weak. I-I couldn't help myself. I swept around, held her around the waist, and pressed our mouths together. Hands trembling, she buried her fingers into my hair, and kissed me back. The exchange of tongue was slow, steady. Her hands ran all through my hair, down my cheeks, so soothing-so gentle. So unlike her mother. She sighed gently into the kiss, opening her mouth further for me to explore. I took the opportunity, so grateful.

Before I could refuse, her small little hand had slipped into my pants, into my boxers and taken a hold of me. The pinkette gave me a cute little smile, unbuttoning the pants, tugging them down…I shuddered, whimpering. "Saya that is- We…we shouldn't ugh," My protests died away when her fist tightened around me. I quivered, knees weak, as she touched me gently. Pulled me so lightly, up down, up down, at her own gentle little pace. Her eyes never once left mine, glasses on the tip of her nose. My fingers closed, tightened. My body was so willing, so willing to give to her…I closed my eyes... I gnashed my teeth, groaning so deeply as I came into her hand. I felt weak. She drained me, tugging me insistently until I had nothing left to give.

Her hand was soaked with my cum. I exhaled breathily.

I panted, turning my head towards the doorway as it opened.

Two sets of eyes stared back at me in shock.

Takashi gaped. "Y-you…you two were…Saya your left it's sticky..." I blinked. Saya's face went from a serene pale, to a dark crimson.

"Ta-kash-i! In the Takagi manor, we knock," she screamed, and I watched in awe as her fist swept forward in a swift right hook. Takashi stared back at her in equal awe. And was promptly punched so hard he was knocked out. Kohta and I gazed at each other. He looked from Takashi's unconscious form, to Saya who was panting angrily, to me who was pulling my pants up now. "Kohta you're next," Saya huffed, turning her blazing eyes to him.

"There's no need I'll just be going now!" He didn't say anything else as he grabbed Takashi by the wrists and began to drag him away.

Saya shut the door. Turned on the light. Then she smiled. She raised her palm, sticky with my release still. The hand she hadn't used to punch Takashi. Then, gazing into my eyes, she ran her tongue across her palm, lapping me up. Hmphing, she sighed. "Well that killed the mood. Now, perhaps wasn't the right time anyways." She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. I was still jaw dropped at the sight of her licking up my come like it was a tasty treat or something! Saya smiled, "so…before we get you back with the others. I think you owe me an explanation."

I looked away pointedly. "Explanation?"

Saya slapped me lightly. "Saeko! Don't play dumb with me. What happened? What did my mom say to you to make you act like that?"

I was ashamed. Still, I did nothing. I couldn't. I couldn't tell her! Yuriko, she would…she would kill me. She would get rid of us. She'd throw us to the undead. Saya couldn't know. Never. No one but Yuriko and myself could. Saya crossed her arms. "It's either you tell me. Or I have you all removed. You tried to rape me Saeko. I deserve the truth." I still said nothing. I knew she'd never do that. "Saeko tell me now!"

"I can't," I whispered, "please Saya don't make me."

"Damn straight I'm going to make you, you baby." I tensed at the name calling clenching my teeth. "So you're scared? Of my mother? The big bad mother," Saya laughed, "of all people to be terrified of her, I never put you on that list. Here I thought you had balls Saeko." Each taunt grated on my nerves. Me? Afraid of Yuriko? No, I wasn't!

"I'm not scared of that bitch," I exploded. Saya recoiled. "Your mother…" I dropped my head. I sighed. Saya was right. She did deserve to know the truth. Because of what I did…and because it involved her mother. "When I was in America. When I was younger. Maybe thirteen, fourteen. I met your mother. She…She got along very well with my father. So much that when my father had to take care of some business for a week, he left me with her. I don't know where you were. Or your father…but…Yuriko…she wanted me. She had from the moment she saw me. She liked to touch me, give me kisses and hugs. It was all innocent til one night she just...She…had sex with me." I looked Saya in the eyes. The girl had a look of sheer shock, sheer terror on her face. "She raped me."

"'You're…you're lying! She would never! My mother she is…noble and strong. You're a lying asshole!" I dropped my head.

"I'm telling you the truth. When she wanted to see me…she was just reminding me of my place. Of the roles I'd soon be fulfilling, again." Saya apparently had had enough.

"How DARE you!?"

The back of her hand hit my face hard, so hard it drew blood. Then, she marched out angrily. The door slammed shut behind her. For a long moment, I stared at the door. Then I sat back down on the bed. I was overwhelmed by all that had just occurred. The kiss…I could still taste Saya's sweetness, the mint of her toothpaste. The almost rape. The way she'd given me that incredible handjob….now that backhand.

Then, the door began to creak open. I grabbed my katana, unsheathing it.

"Oh. It's just you Rei." I smiled in relief.

"Glad to see you're up and about again," my girlfriend smiled. "Figured you were back to yourself when Saya came storming out of here." I frowned at that. "Come on. Lots of people want to see you!" I gave her a tight, warm hug. She smelled good too. Her cinnamon brown locks. Rei must have seen the sorrowful, strained look on my face because her expression softened. "Saeko…?"

"You go on ahead. I'll catch up."

"Hmm…" Rei gazed into my eyes. "I suppose if that's what you want. We're all waiting for you." I watched her leave too.

I sighed. And turned away again. For a while, who knows how long, I just sat on that bed and thought. About what to do about the events of the night. I glanced at the sword in my hand. No. I wouldn't kill myself. But after telling Saya what her mother was to me it was no longer safe here. Not for my companions if I was still around. And truth be told, I couldn't stand it. Stand being beneath Yuriko again, that invisible leash and collar tight around my throat…I tore one of the curtains aside, ripping the window open.

I'd just have to leave. I had just begun to climb when I heard her.

"And just where do you think you're going, Saeko?"

When had she come? I turned my head.

"Running away," she asked as if she was surprised. "Oh my. This really is like old times." I flinched, gazing back at her. "You've been very bad tonight." I didn't move from my spot in the window, still part of the way through. Her eyes flashed angrily. "Get down from there." Before I could stop myself, I hurried to do as she ordered. I gazed at the ground in shame. "Shut the window."

"'Y-yes maam." I reached over, slid the window shut. She was still, leaning against the doorway. A glass of wine was in her hand.

"You're not to look away from my eyes." I leveled my gaze with her face, trembling. "I said my eyes, Saeko." Shivering, I looked into her eyes. I was paralyzed. They were so dark. So angry. She walked towards me slowly, leisurely. She didn't have to try to look seductive. "First you pin her down and almost have your way with her," the woman sighed, "then you don't even have the balls to do it. Then you kiss her. You DARED to kiss her." For some reason, I felt so ashamed of my actions. More so than before. I didn't think that was possible. Her bright gaze burned into mine. "Then you let her stroke my cock like that."

Her cock? She reached out, lightly pressing her hand against my groin. I understood what she meant, now. Whats mine was hers. Including my body. I didn't dare look away from her eyes. The woman was mad...she cared more about me letting another girl touch me then about Saya. It repulsed me. A part of my mind pinched. There was something weird about this. "How do you know?"

"I have cameras everywhere, Saeko. You should know that. Don't you remember?"

I furrowed my brows. "Yes." Back in the day, she filmed everything. Made me touch myself while she recorded. Hatred made my blood boil as I remembered the terrible humiliation and shame, the guilt.

She was closer now. The smell of her was intoxicating. Her perfume, her natural scent, the wine. She wore such a beautiful red dress, such an emphasis on her curves. "Then you tell her about our past love affair. Told her that her mother cheated on her father."

My eyes shot wide. What?! "'It was more than that," I whispered harshly, "you rape-"

"Stop with that nonsense Saeko." She waved her hand as if what I was saying was just an annoyance to her. I saw the way you looked at me. I acted on it. Don't act like you didn't want it, or me," she turned her gaze back to me, smirking. "The nerve…I suppose I'm not surprised. My daughter never could keep her hands away from things that weren't hers. Let me make it clear, Saeko. I'll only say it once." I squeezed my eyes shut, I couldn't look into hers anymore. "Open your eyes. !"

They shot open. Her gaze was dark and dangerous. "You are to stay away from those women." She sipped her wine. "And especially my daughter. I don't think I can make it more clear. You…are mine."

I nodded my head, fists clenched so tight my knuckles whitened.

"One kiss. One hug. If you so much as flirt with them. I will have them removed from my home, excluding Saya of course. I'll make you watch as she's punished, instead. Because of your actions. Because you can't keep it in your pants." I shook my head, gazing at the ground.

"This is wrong. You're…sick," I whispered. "But I have no choice."

"Mmm," she smiled, "yes…that's true. I expect you to apologize to Saya. And make sure she understands that you lied." Again, I nodded. Yuriko gazed at me. "Good girl." She placed her glass of wine down. "Now…" She tilted her head, closed her eyes, held out her arms for me.

I trembled at the gesture. She wanted me to… I couldn't. I shouldn't. I didn't really have a choice. I stepped close, digging my fingers roughly into her hair, burying my face in her neck. "No. No hiding." She smiled as she raised my head. She fell backwards onto the bed, her legs spread. "Kiss me. And when you make love to me missionary, you'd better make sure your eyes never leave mine." Nodding slowly, I crawled above her. Lifted her dress, pulled her panties aside. Her bright, all seeing eyes were gazing into mine.

No.

Not this again. Not like this.

I…I couldn't let them down. I couldn't let them die because of me. My body was a small price to pay for their lives. And it'd be pleasurable anyways. What did it matter? I paused, still gazing into her eyes. I…

Fuck it! No! I'd fuck her but I wasn't going to bend to her like a kid! I was grown up now, no longer a teenager. I was bigger, stronger, faster, so much more needy. I chuckle lightly. She raised a brow.

The look on her face when I slapped her across it was the most delicious thing in the world to me. I drank it up, that rage. That pain. "How dare-" I clamped my hand over her mouth. I smirked down at her, cocking my head. "Don't worry. I moved my other hand to her throat, squeezing tight. "I'll still be fucking you tonight Yuriko." I lowered my hips. "Let's just…try something new."

When I sunk in, she squealed against my hand. Her teeth tug into the flesh of my fingers and palm, but I didn't care. I couldn't. So tight. Impossible at this angle. I was stronger than her. She was good with guns, that much I knew, and she knew some martial arts. But she was tipsy, horny, weaker than she was back then. I pinned her down on the bed, on her stomach. I rucked her dress up above her ass, her panties still down her thighs. Then, I sunk in.

Her fingers dug into the comforter. She sobbed into my hand.

I'd never fucked an ass before. It was clear to me, no one had ever fucked Yuriko's ass either. As I felt her spread slowly around me I groaned. Anger, hatred coursed through me when she panted, and buried her face into the comforter. "It's…good," she mumbled, "feels...so good." I had never hated anyone so much. Anything. This woman…

So disgusting. So fucked up.

Maybe that's why I loved her just as much as I hated her.