Hello guys.
My apologyzes for not updating I had those problems that made me delay chapter 19, I had new issues the following weeks that stopped me from writing. So I prefered to wait for a calm moment to write, because I didn't want to write it without the focus and love this story and you readers deserve.
Thank you very much for your patience.
A special thanks to my dear Mercenary Nemesis for the help on this chapter. Check her amazing stories, guys.
Thank you very much sweetie!
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Deep Within 2
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Carrey asked for another helicopter to inspect the place after Jill's request, as she immobilized Leon.
Jill believed that nothing would be found in that house and that everything they needed was with her, but as the usual, it would help them to investigate the place in search of some other evidence before the fire could destroy everything.
When Leon was placed by Jill and another soldier in the helicopter, Carrey ordered the pilot to take them to the hospital. The second man returned to the side of Carrey and Jill thanked him before leaving.
Although they were silent, when they approached the hospital, Jill realized that Leon seemed better than before.
"Jill?"
"Shhhhhh." She said, touching his arm.
"I can talk now." Leon said with a normal tone "I couldn't before because I fell on my back. I was only out of breath."
"Are you in pain?" She asked worriedly.
"It's getting better."
"Great! Now you will be examined and medicated, then everything will be fine."
Leon just smiled at her and looked at Jill's hand on his hand. Jill could not decipher what that smile meant, but she didn't take her hand off, instead, she smiled back."
Once the helicopter landed on the hospital, a team of nurses were already awaiting for them. To see Leon being taken by them would certainly have been unbearable for Jill if she hadn't just talked to him and known that he was better.
Fortunately, a nurse offered her a clean towel so she could take a shower and Jill felt relieved to have picked up clean clothes for both of them in the car. She certainly needed a shower and would rather wait for him smelling good.
That did not prevent Jill from feeling anxious. She was guided to a waiting room and she knew she could only leave there and see him after he was examined, which would take many hours.
As Jill thought a few hours later, when she mugged up all the magazines, she was called to Leon's room, after the doctor's order.
Jill came in and looked at Leon first before greeting the doctor and ask how Leon was.
"He's fine. Only a simple muscle fracture, but nothing that inspires special care. He'll be able to leave in the morning."
"That's great news." Jill smiled in relief. "Thank you doctor."
The doctor nodded as he walked to the door.
"Now you can eat, Mr. Kennedy."
"Thank you, doctor. That is what I call good news."
Jill smiled at his words.
"I am very relieved. I thought you had hit your head or neck."
"No, but it could have had happened. So thank you for immobilizing me and for the concern. This was certainly important."
Jill and Leon looked at the door when they heard a knock. A nurse brought two meals and put them on a small corner table. They thanked before the woman went out the door.
"Could you pass it, please?" Leon asked.
"Of course, but don't you prefer me to serve you?"
"You don't have to." he said in a stubborn tone.
Jill did what he asked for, but she could see that Leon seemed to have pain while moving his arm to eat. Then Jill did not think twice, she took the food from his hand and pulled up a chair, sitting next to him.
"Jill, I can..."
"It is not the time to be proud."
Leon huffed, but let her continue. He remained silent as Jill was feeding him. When they were finished, Leon watched her move away to get the juice for him
"Won't you eat? You must be hungry..."
"I can't, after what I did this afternoon my appetite left me. Tomorrow it will be normal again."
Jill said as she positioned the glass near him and put the straw in his mouth. Leon did not move his head to drink the juice and Jill looked at him. He looked at her with a smile.
"What?" Jill asked puzzled.
"Thank you." Leon kept smiling "I'm sorry for being proud and perhaps a bit rude before. It's just that I never had anybody taking care of me after my grandmother died. In addition, it's been a long time since I got sick. I don't know how to stay idle."
"Hmmm!" Jill raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"What?" Leon asked.
"Nothing. It's just that I remembered something my grandmother used to say. That when we are living without a reason or we think we need no one, we usually get sick in order to think about it. It is the universe trying to slow us down to make us think about life in depth. She used to say it was divine providence."
"Divine..." Leon thought a few seconds "And you? Do you believe that God is in control of our lives when you remember all the victims who died before our eyes?"
"The problem, Leon, is that we limit our eyes on what we see. We forget that there is much more beyond what we can see."
"Are you religious?"
"No." Jill nodded "Maybe spiritualized. I like philosophy and epic texts. Socrates, Descartes and some others form the basis of my belief."
"Interesting" Leon shook his head "But also important. In our profession it is very important to read a lot. And many people may think that we limit ourselves only to the combat. If so we would not have survived until now. We train our brains too."
"Evil is intelligent, to face it we need to be more. Everything I learn is useful at some point. And sometimes we find sick minds to the point of using good epic texts with evil purposes. As it happened once when someone used the Divine Comedy, do you believe it?"
"I do. This is not different from science. People use such a good instrument as science not to help curing diseases, but to destroy by creating new viruses."
Jill raised an eyebrow and sighed before saying
"You're right."
"And yet you believe that there is a Divine Providence in control of everything?"
"There must be an intelligent cause for everything! I believe that this Energy that maybe we can call God allows men to get hurt, because along with those who destroy, there will come the ones that save others, repair, reborn. We are strengthening after every battle and the good never cease to exist, it always survives and grows up somehow. Just look at how many people choose to risk their lives by working to defeat this virus."
"Sometimes it is difficult to accept some things, they seem so unfair..."
"Only if we seek for answers right away. Descartes says since we are imperfect beings we cannot create perfection, so if we have this idea of perfection, it could only have been placed in our consciousness by a perfect being. That's why, even when we do not understand the plans of the universe, we must trust it. People like us who see innocent people die all the time need to understand this. Our efforts would be in vain if there wasn't a purpose to everything. If I didn't believe it, I would probably have killed myself when I returned from Africa with all my memories, guilt and pain." Jill looked down.
"I do understand. The feeling of failure is able to make us think of putting an end to our pain."
"Because of our pride, Leon. We forget that this is not our war. We're just soldiers for a good purpose."
"If you are right ... Somehow this way of thinking could take some weight off my back from all the evil I couldn't avoid..." Leon lowered his head, avoiding Jill's eyes "When Raccoon fell, it was hard to imagine how many people died and that was the end of the place I used to visit as a child, when my grandparents were still alive. But when Tall Oaks fell, I ... I was one of the agents responsible and ... well ... I had to kill my only real friend over the years. Perhaps the person who had more faith in me after my father..." Leon sighed before continuing "Now I see how difficult it is to admit it. Maybe your grandmother is right. I was forced to end in this bed for a few hours and for some reason look where we got ... to this subject that I've refused to talk about..."
"Why that?"
"Because I cannot change it... I don't know. In fact I do not know. Sometimes I feel so tired of all this, so helpless. Everyone can think my jokes represent the joy with which I live my life, even in chaos. But a few people know that sometimes that's just me trying to motivate myself. It seems that it is impossible to be strong and confident all the time. It seems that my promise to sweep this damn virus off the face of earth will not be achieved easily... I believed I failed and I cannot even explain why..."
"Because it is not up to you, Leon. You have not realized how cruel you were to yourself to make that promise, but mainly to keep it inside you. I repeat, this is not our war. Our mission is just to do our part and believe me, you have fulfilled your mission flawlessly, because you are alive and you saved everyone you could until now. You are a great man and you need to understand that, you deserve to see that. If you want to free your mind from this indirect guilt, you need to understand that the only people responsible for all this chaos are the ones who caused it, we're just normal and imperfect people trying to do our best."
Leon looked at Jill with unblinking eyes, as if he was thinking over everything she just said. After a few seconds absorbed in his own thoughts, he put his hand on Jill's hand.
Although the touch had been normal, the way Leon looked at her made Jill feel a slight chill.
"Jill..." he said softly.
"Yes...?" She asked.
When Leon opened his mouth to say something, her cell phone rang. Jill soon realized it was Quint and answered it. After talking with him for a few minutes and report on Leon's situation, Jill found out that Quint had arrived and that she would have to meet him.
As soon as she hung up, she looked at Leon still curious to know what he wanted to tell her earlier.
"You need to go?"
"I do." Jill shook her head "Were you going to tell me something?"
"Not now" Leon smiled "But we will have another opportunity."
Jill smiled trying to hide the slight frustration she felt. She was usually not very curious, but before Leon she felt different in many ways. She felt like a woman in its fullness.
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Hello my dear ones!
In this chapter, I tried to use some information to make Jill and Leon relationship even deeper. Now deeper for Leon. I used some archives information in which we realize Leon feels tired or even frustrated with how bioterrorism turned out, especially when we consider his promise before to "sweep this virus off the face of earth". I'd like to thank Mercenary Nemesis for the archives and for some additional information on Leon's mind.
As for Jill's behavior, I used as information some sentences in which we realize she is a spiritualized person. Easy to realize she was not sarcastic when she wished Norman could rest in peace, she was serious and that makes us think her beliefs about life are really deep. So that makes me think she reads a lot and likes philosophy, especially when we study her letter to Barry in revelations 2.
We know now that Leon brought many transformations to Jill's life, but this chapter was important for Leon. Now he had the chance to understand why a woman who went through everything she did, didn't give up. I don't think she might be able to make Leon believe in everything exactly the way she does, but for sure she changed the view he had about himself and of all this chaos.
Hope you guys like this chapter, it was a challenge for me to write and I hope I didn't disappoint any of you.
Thank you very much for your support. It means a lot to me!
Have a nice week guys!
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Mercenary Nemesis: Yeah, poor handsome. :D But he is ok. Hope you liked this chapter sweetie. Thank you very much for your continue support.
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Spartan10007: Hy my friend. Thank you very much for your words alwaysssssss. I hope u liked this chater!
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Mayra.713.g: Mayra deaaar! Yeah, you are once again right, it was time to force Leon to rest and specially talk. Hehehehe I hope you liked this chapter sweetie. Thank you so much for stick with me :)
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Mister Valentine: I hope you liked this chapter in which I bring more reference to revelations 2. Some references are only able to be gotten by the ones who remember the game deeply :D
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Xaphania: Oh thank you so much for your words. Im sorry I couldnt update before, but believe me, your support also helped me to come back. Thank you.
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Will: I'm glad you like the note, specially because you mentioned that. It will be necessary for me to explain more about what happened to Lopez in case someone didnt understand, but I'm glad you could. Thank you veryyy much for your support, my friend. Have a nice week.