Never Forgotten Past
Last Time: Puck and Finn got into a fight over a possible pregnant Sarah. It ended up she wasn't though after taking all the tests. Neither Puck nor Sarah knew how to truly react to the news. Sarah was in Puck's truck by herself when she found the note his mom wrote to him about leaving. Sarah became concerned for boyfriend and asked for the truth on what was happening. And that's what you missed last time on Never Forgotten Past.
By the way, this picks up when Sarah leaves the choir room to go to the truck and Puck stays behind because he said he had to stay back.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any songs that I may put in here.
Admitting the Truth is Hard
Puck's Point of View
Sarah left the room after saying she didn't want to go back to the Hudson-Hummel household leaving everyone silent.
"Can I talk to Finn?" I asked Mr. Schue.
He looked weary, but nodded anyway. Mr. Schue motioned for Finn to follow me outside in the hallway. Finn stood and walked behind me outside the room.
"Look," I said quietly once the door was closed, "I don't want to start another fight, but we really have to talk about this whole Sarah thing because I know that she's really upset about leaving you guys and wants to come back no matter what she says."
Finn nodded, "Yeah, just take care of her for as long as you need to, but it killed Mom not to have her home last night. So, can you maybe encourage her to come back? It doesn't have to be tonight or tomorrow even, but please."
"Whatever Sarah wants, but I can mention it."
Finn looked at me and scratched his head, "I...um...sorry she's not pregnant. Well, I mean, I'm relieved she's not, but I know you would have been a good dad. A real one this time, not just part-time like with Beth."
I nodded then looked at the ground, "Thanks."
I didn't really know what else to say to him, he kinda made Sarah's life suck temporarily so I was still going to be mad at him, for a while at least.
"Is that it?" Finn asked.
"I think so, I just wanted to make sure we were clear on what was happening and stuff," I muttered.
"I'll see you later then?" Finn said.
"Yeah," I nodded, "I'll make sure Sarah's taken care of."
"Thanks," Finn said before turning back and walking into the choir room.
I turned around and started walking towards the front doors and out to the parking lot. I saw my truck and headed to it in the cold weather. I knocked on the window and waited for Sarah to unlock the door.
I smiled at her and jumped in to the driver's seat, "Thanks, it's getting cold outside now," I said as I started up the truck and backed out of the parking lot.
Sarah just nodded then stared at me. She was probably still a little upset about the baby thing, but I didn't think she would stop talking all together.
I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, "What's up? You're really quiet, I mean, I expected some, but not this much. You're not-"
"Why didn't you say anything about your Mom leaving you and Grace?" Sarah said forcefully.
I stopped talking and turned to stare at her myself, "What are you talking about?" I whispered.
Sarah reached up and grabbed the note I had stuck up in the mirror after showing it to Quinn days ago, "This fell when I got in the car a little while ago."
I noticed an empty parking lot and pulled in. I stared straight forward and didn't say anything. This could not be happening, Sarah didn't need to hear how much my life sort of sucked at the moment.
"Puck," Sarah said softly as she grabbed my hand, "What's wrong? Come on, tell me," she pleaded.
I stayed silent and didn't move. I didn't want her to worry, she couldn't stop Mom from doing the things she did, I couldn't.
"Please, if something's wrong, you need to say so. I can't stand the fact that you and Grace were left alone in a house all by yourselves for an entire week. Look at what we just went through with a maybe pregnancy. Look at what we started off with, nobody thought we should actually be together, but we showed them wrong and now we are so happy. You know you can tell me anything," Sarah begged. Her hand tightening around mine as her speech ended.
I heard Sarah cry a little and had to force myself not to turn and look at her. I hated when either her, Beth, Grace, or any girl for that matter were upset.
I could feel Sarah staring at me. If I told her what has happened, what was happening, it might stop. I could get rid it all, I could prevent it from ever happening to Grace. But how would I tell her after everything that had happened today?
"You don't understand," I finally whispered after about five minutes.
"Then tell me," Sarah begged.
I took a deep breath before spilling everything to Sarah. The late nights, the leaving, the alcohol, the occasional hitting, it was all about to be laid out on the table and I wasn't going to be able to take it back, "Ok."
Sarah's hand tightened again and I turned to look at her. Her bright blue eyes were shining with tears, some of which had escaped and made tracks down her face.
"Mom occasionally leaves us," I started, "But homecoming week was the longest time. That note says she'll be home by Friday, but really she came home about an hour before I went to get you."
I drifted off and stared at Sarah. I started thinking of how normal Mom acted when she came home, it was like she just went to the store or something. I was furious and had intended to act like that to her, but then everything happened.
"Puck, you're kind of hurting my hand," Sarah said quietly.
I tuned in and blinked before looking down at my hand. I hadn't realized I had been squeezing her hand so hard, it was a sort of blue color from lack of oxygen.
"Sorry," I said as I dropped her hand.
"It's fine," Sarah started rubbing her hand and lightly shaking it to get the feeling back.
I watched her nurture her hand then spoke quietly, "What else do you want to know?"
Sarah looked up at me and smiled softly, "You're really willing to tell me anything?"
I thought about it. She just wanted to know what was happening, heck she might actually try and get help after some of the stuff, not that I would let her, but still. I already started too, so I might as well end it.
"Sometimes she'll go out then come back drunk around midnight. Grace thinks she just goes to hang out with some friends, but I think she goes out by herself to drink away life. When she comes back, usually she doesn't know who I am, just that she lives in the house. Maybe she thinks I'm her roommate or something when she's wasted."
I felt Sarah's hand against my leg. She rubbed back and forth, barely touching. It kind of felt good to be the one being taken care of and not the other way around.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
I just shrugged, "You can't do anything about it. I can't. No matter what I say to stop her from going out, she still goes and gets drunk. I can't stop the hit-"
I stopped, I shouldn't have said that. Mom doesn't realize she hits me. And besides, I'm twice as big as she is, it's pathetic for me to be mad or upset about some crazy lady slapping me every once and a while when I try to stop her from ruining her life.
I heard Sarah's breathing stop, "What were you about to say?" she asked slowly.
"Nothing," I muttered.
"Noah David Puckerman," I winced at the use of my full name, her and Finn were the only ones who knew it besides Mom and Grace, "You tell me right now what you were about to say."
Her tone sort of reminded me of Mom when she was yelling at me, but I wasn't going to say that to her. It kinda made her sound hot though, despite there being nothing hot about what was happening.
"She hits me when she's drunk or if I do something stupid," I muttered, "But it doesn't hurt...after a while. Look, just leave it ok? I'm bigger than her so it's not that bad."
I stared at her. It looked like she was fighting with herself over whether or not she should hug and comfort me or hit me herself since I was so nonchalant about someone hitting me. Finally, Sarah threw herself on me.
"I'm so sorry," she sobbed into my shoulder. Suddenly she pulled off of me, "Oh my gosh, did I hurt you?"
"No," I was so confused, "How would you be hurting me?"
Sarah just ignored me and started pulling at my shirt.
"Sarah! I really don't think now is the time to go at it!" I yelled as I tried to stop her from looking under my shirt, "We can do it tonight! But not now! I don't think we have the right well-being or whatever to do it right now!"
Sarah fell back onto her seat and crossed her arms, "I was just trying to see if you had bruises or something."
"I wish you were trying to take off my shirt, that's more fun than talking about this," I muttered.
"Now is not the time Puck," Sarah said, "Now tell me, how many do you have?"
"How many what?" I sighed. Maybe mentioning this all was a bad idea.
"Bruises," Sarah rolled her eyes.
"Hey, I thought you were supposed to be nice to me and now you're rolling your eyes," I teased.
"Puck," Sarah said softly.
I looked forward and stayed quiet. This really wasn't something I wanted to talk about.
"Why won't you tell me?" Sarah asked quietly.
"Because, it's not bad," I told her, "You have to trust me."
Sarah stared at me, "I can't believe you, you start to tell me something pretty important and then stop in the middle when it becomes really important."
She turned away and looked out the window. I watched her, she was right, I needed to tell someone and she was so willing to help.
"I tell you everything. It might take me a while, but I do it. I tell you when I need help and-"
"There's just one," I interrupted.
Sarah spun around and bore her eyes into mine.
I rolled up my left sleeve to show it to her. It was probably the worst one she's given me, only because she kept going at it and I did nothing to stop her. It was a weird purple color that stung when I touched it.
"It hurts a little whenever I move or touch it. When Finn jumped me that was pretty painful," I said.
"I don't understand," Sarah whispered. Her fingers lightly waved over my shoulder.
"It's just a bruise," I shrugged, making it throb a little.
"How long have you had it?" Sarah asked.
*Flashback*
"You are such a waste! You know that?" Mom screamed at me.
"Yeah, because you're constantly telling me!" I yelled back.
"Just go away Noah!" she was throwing a fit like a little kid.
"No because if I do, you'll probably end up killing yourself drunk driving!"
Mom picked up one of Sarah's Barbies and tossed it at me which I expertly dodged.
"You think I don't try to be a good mother!" she yelled before tossing the remote at me. This time it hit my shoulder, but it didn't hurt too bad.
"Well, when you do stuff like this, it's pretty easy to think that!" I yelled while jumping out of the way from a book.
"Get over here, you ungrateful child," Mom said in one of the most dangerous tones I've ever heard her use.
I walked slowly towards her. The closer I got, the more I smelt the alcohol and smoke, it was making me sick.
Mom raised her fist and I flinched as it made contact in the exact spot the remote had hit. I stood still for another minute as she punched me, getting harder and harder each time.
"Does this bother you?" Mom taunted.
"No," I grunted.
Mom looked around the room and a sickly sweet smile formed on her face. I followed her gaze and felt the blood drain from my face. She slowly walked towards my belt that I had given to Grace so her and her friends could use it as a leash for their "dogs."
Mom picked up the belt, "I just want you to know that this is so you can learn to appreciate me better as a mother and as a person."
I nodded and closed my eyes as I heard the belt whip around and smack my shoulder. I shuddered and Mom laughed before adding another then another.
"Mom! What are you doing to Noah?"
I opened my eyes as the belt stopped. Grace was standing at the top of the stairs with tears coming down her face.
Mom stared at Grace then back at me. There was a look of horror in her eyes. The spell was broken and my mother, the one who had raised me and wanted me to be the best, suddenly returned, she was normal again.
Mom threw her arms around my neck and sobbed, "I'm so sorry Noah. I don't know what happened."
My left arm hurt to move so I lifted up my right one and awkwardly patted her on the back, "It's..." but I couldn't think of the word. It wasn't ok, my arm was in more pain than I'd ever felt before.
"Noah," I looked up at Grace who had made her way to the bottom of the stairs, "You're phone started to ring," she held out my phone.
Mom backed off and ran over to hug her daughter.
"Hello?" I said into the speaker.
"Can you come pick me up?" Sarah's voice filled my ear. She was crying and needed help.
"Of course, I'll be at the corner in a minute," I assured my girlfriend.
"Thanks," Sarah said quietly.
I hung up the phone and walked over to the closet where I grabbed my jacket and keys.
"Where are you going?" Grace asked.
"Sarah needs help. She's staying here for the night, maybe more. Don't ask why. I don't know. Just don't bother her when she's here," I told my family as I shrugged on my coat.
"Noah," Mom said softly. She walked over to me, "I am so sorry."
"Whatever," I muttered as I closed the door.
*End Flashback*
"Puck?" Sarah said softly.
"Yeah?" I said back.
"Are you ok?"
I looked at Sarah. Her eyes were wide and her breathing was a little ragged. She was trying not to cry, but I could tell it was a losing battle.
I pulled her onto my lap, which was pretty hard in the truck, and rocked her slowly back and forth.
"It's ok, I swear to you it's ok. I'm still here, aren't I? It's actually because of you that this is the worst that had happened," I told her.
Sarah pulled back and raised her eyebrows, "What do you mean?"
I sighed, "When you called, Mom was in the middle of the belt," Sarah opened her mouth to interrupt but I put my hand over it to stop her, "Wait, and anyways, my phone was upstairs so Grace grabbed it. And when she came downstairs, Mom realized what she was doing and stopped. So thank you."
I moved my hand away but Sarah didn't say anything. She stayed quiet as if she was lost in thoughts.
"Are you ok?" I echoed her own question as I patted down her hair that had gotten messed up when she came on my lap.
Sarah shook her head, "You're mom tried to beat the crap out of you and you're acting as if nothing happened," she said quietly, "What are you going to do if she seriously hurts you next time because I know there's going to be a next time."
"I'm a big boy, I can take care of it," I sighed.
"Yes because by the looks of your arm, you can take care of it," Sarah scoffed.
"It's no big deal," I said as I rolled down my sleeve with Sarah watching my every move.
"Fine, it's no big deal," Sarah said.
Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows at her, "Seriously?"
"As long as you promise me something, it won't be a big deal," Sarah bargained while sitting back in her own seat. She crossed her arms and stared me down.
"What will it take to make this 'not a big deal?'" I gave in.
"If you promise me that next time your mom really hurts you, like you're bleeding because of her, you will tell someone. And I don't mean me, well, yes, I do, but I mean either Mr. Schue or Ms. Pillsbury or maybe even Burt," Sarah said.
She was being reasonable, plus, Mom never went as far as actually making me bleed, so I would never have to turn her in and take her away from Grace. Even though that might be the best thing for Grace, but still, she needed a mom.
"Fine," I finally said, "Can we go now?"
Sarah smiled, "Of course."
I pulled out of the parking lot and towards Sarah's house.
"We need to go out on a date sometime. We've had too much drama the past few days," Sarah announced.
"That's not a bad idea," I agreed.
"Let's go bowling!" Sarah jumped up in her seat, "It'll be so much fun."
I rolled my eyes, "Sure, but it'll only be fun for you since we both know you're a way better bowler than I am."
Sarah laughed and it sounded so good to hear again, "You know it."
I laughed along with her. Sarah began singing along to the radio in probably the most annoying voice I've ever heard. I joined in with her and soon enough she was rolling around and cackling in her seat.
I drove up in my driveway, "Come on, let's go inside and entertain ourselves before my family realizes we're home."
Sarah giggled as she unbuckled her seat belt then leaned over to me, "Give me a kiss first," she whispered in my ear.
I chuckled, "I don't know, I'm not very comfortable kissing a girl that makes me spill my secrets then becomes all annoying and a loud laugher."
Sarah kissed my cheek and smiled, "I love you. Always remember that, I will always love you no matter what."
"I know," I whispered before grabbing the back of her head and forcing her mouth against mine.
Sarah's hands grazed my chest, "You are the most amazing person I know," she whispered against my lips.
I kissed her harder, "I love you so much," I said.
Suddenly there was a knock on the window and Sarah jumped away. Grace was standing outside with her arms crossed.
I rolled down the window, "We're busy, now go away."
"But Noah," my sister whined, "I'm bored and Mom is sleeping so she can't play with me."
"Come on," Sarah said and grabbed my hand, "We can pick this up tonight since I'm staying over."
I was hesitant, I've never really done that when Mom and Grace were home.
Sarah caught my hesitation, "That's not what I meant Puck," she said with a roll of her eyes.
"Fine," I muttered. I unlocked the doors and jumped out.
Sarah walked around and as she went to hold my hand, Grace intercepted.
"Right now, you guys will hold my hands and then we will go play games in my room," Grace demanded as she dragged us away from the truck.
Sarah nodded then glanced at me over Grace's head. She smiled at me, which I returned. We were going to get past this and everything was going to be ok.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
A/N: Ahh...this was sad and happy and all over the place. I hope you guys liked it. Next chapter they're going bowling. It's going to be after sectionals because I don't think I can rewrite the episode. Meaning...Sam's coming! I didn't realize how much I actually liked his character until he was gone. I plan on having the next chapters be a lot more fun and less drama than these last few, so I hope you all stick around! PLEASE REVIEW because I've been getting less lately and it's scaring me that I'm letting you guys down. I'm welcome to any and all comments, questions, or concerns so don't be afraid to review or PM me. Oh my gosh! This is chapter 20! I can't believe it!
P.S. - Who saw Heart? I thought it was really good.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Shout-Outs: TheAwkwardTurtle13 - Thanks! That was something that I fought about for a while and I think I came up with a pretty good compromise that will come into play in later chapters.
~~~~~GLEE~~~~~
Sneak Peak: I looked up from my shoes and smiled at Puck who was setting up the bowling system. We really were going to be ok, despite what's happened in our lives, everything was going to be great.
Another date night!