Bright, Shiny Futures - Chapter Twenty
Author's note: "Thanks to everyone who's read and/or reviewed this story so far. I've been thrilled with the response I've gotten and I'm happy to know so many people are enjoying this story. However, I can no longer access this site to post or answer comments so I won't be posting any more of this story here. If you'd like to continue following it, please visit my profile page and click on the link to my livejournal. I'll be posting the rest there one chapter per week until it's done. Thank you so much to everyone - including those I haven't been able to respond to. Your feedback has meant the world to me."
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Kara toweled her hair briskly, noting that the mascara hadn't completely come off in the shower. She'd taken to wearing a little bit of makeup - mostly to enhance her eyes - and dressing in a much more feminine style. Lee had noticed it right off, his eyes saying so before he'd mentioned it aloud. She hadn't really had a good response to give him about why she'd changed, but thinking it over to herself she'd realized it had happened during the first pregnancy. Something about it had made her feel much more feminine than she ever had before (surprisingly) and though she'd attributed it to hormones, perhaps there was more to it than that. Perhaps the fact that she was away from Galactica and the competitive mostly-male environment had been the catalyst for her to embrace her inner woman. Whatever the reason, she liked it. So did Michael.
So does Lee.
She sighed as the removed the black smudges from under her eyes. Everything always came back to Lee. It was as though he was always with her. Hopefully that would give her the courage she needed to do what she had to do. She'd put it off for several days but now she had to tell him.
She walked into the study and sat in the easy chair by the bookshelf, not wanting to interrupt him while he worked. He lifted a finger to let her know he was aware of her presence and would be done in a few moments.
The conversation began lightly as they talked of their days and plans for the morrow. Kara's heart thudded painfully with every minute that passed, knowing the blow up was about to come.
"I'm taking Zach for a blood test tomorrow," she started, bravely diving in.
"Why?" His eyes narrowed. "You're not ... "
"Lee called to say the custody papers will be ready for us tomorrow and I need to get the paternity test done in order for us to sign."
"I'm not signing them," he said flatly.
"Why not?" Kara's eyes narrowed as well. "You don't honestly believe Lee is trying to take him away do you?"
"I don't trust him."
"Well I do." She explained the situation in detail. "He just wants to be able to stay here and see his son."
"I'm not sure I believe that. Oh sure, it makes a good cover story but once he's got himself comfortably set up here I wouldn't put it past him to play dirty."
"You don't even know him!" She was indignant.
"And you do? We've had this talk Kara, time has passed and people change. You don't know him anymore either."
"Yes I do. He hasn't changed that much. I'm the one who left Galactica, the people and the relationships I was stuck in. I'm the one who got married and had a family. He stayed there on Galactica, stuck in the same rut I was happy to get out of."
"Then why are you trying to climb back into it? Why not just leave all of it in the past?"
"I can't. It isn't in the past anymore Michael, it's all in the present now. Lee is my son's father and the Admiral is his grandfather. That makes us family." She swallowed, feeling tears pricking the backs of her eyes. "I've told you what my life was like growing up. I want it to be better for my children. I want them to have a real family that loves them."
"Isn't that what I am?" he asked softly.
The hurt in his eyes nearly broke her. "Of course you are, but Lee and the Old Man are family too. I want them both to have a chance to know Zach. All they've had for the last ten years was each other."
Michael got up and began pacing. He couldn't deny the validity of her words, and yet there was something about the situation that made him uneasy ...
"Let me think about it for a while. I'm not sure I'm ready to go ahead with this."
Kara stood as well, frustration marring her pretty features. "When will you be ready? Once Lee is forced to move away?"
He swung around to face her. "Is that really so bad? It's not like he couldn't fly back to visit."
"That's completely unfair and you know it," she said angrily, voice low and strained. "Think how you would feel if you were forced to move away from your child."
"But I'm not the one in that position, am I? And hopefully I never will be." He looked meaningfully at her. "Besides, until a couple of weeks ago, he never even knew he had a child. It's not like they've developed any sort of lasting bond."
"Not yet. I'm hoping they will."
His eyes narrowed further. "Do you not think I'm a good enough father to him?"
"I didn't say that."
"No, but you implied it."
"I did not! Just because I want Zach to get to know his birth father doesn't mean I think you're not exactly what he needs." His look told her he wasn't buying it. "Think of it like an adoption. Just because you seek out your birth parents doesn't mean you don't appreciate your adoptive parents any less." Her eyes pleaded with him. "Please Michael, this means a lot to me, and I know it means a lot to Zach too."
"I'll think about it and let you know in the morning," he said stubbornly, still unwilling to let his uncomfortable feeling go without a fight. He watched her leave without a word. Her words rang in his ears for a long time afterwards.
"You don't honestly believe Lee is trying to take him away do you?" Yes Kara, I do. And if you can't see it then you must be blind ...
"He hasn't changed that much. He stayed there on Galactica, stuck in the same rut I was happy to get out of." How would you know that? You've barely spent any time with him, how do you know him so well? Unless you have been spending more time with him thank you've let on ...
"When will you be ready? When Lee is forced to move away? How bad would that be? Zach barely knows him. Maybe you're the one who can't let him go Kara ...
And with crystal clarity he knew that was it. Kara still loved him. She didn't want him to move away. Had she ... were they ... Red began to cloud his vision. Anger and fear warred within him. Had she gone to see him? Had Lee come here while he'd been at work? Had they slept together in his and Kara's bed? He began to feel sick. No! No! Don't let yourself think the worst of her. This is the woman you loved enough to marry. You're supposed to trust her. Yeah but ... You knew she still loved Lee. Even before the dreams started recurring. It didn't take a genius to figure it out after the way she talked about him.
The question wasn't so much was Kara still in love with Lee, so much as, what was he going to do about it.
For starters, he was going to give her the benefit of the doubt. He owed her that much. Feelings were feelings. You couldn't change them or make them go away if they didn't want to go. It was whether or not you acted on them that was key. Kara deserved a chance, deserved his trust.
He wasn't so sure that trust should be extended to Lee though.
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"Sir I have a favour to ask of you."
The Vice President gave Adama a straight look. "Go ahead and ask."
Adama almost smiled. The tone of his words said 'go ahead and ask but don't expect anything'. It was the sort of tone he'd often used with those serving under him. He'd forgotten just how condescending it felt to be on the receiving end of it.
"I'd like to take my grandson on a tour of my ship. He's expressed an interest in seeing her and seeing the Vipers at work."
The Vice President grunted. "We have been discussing exploring Galactica's capabilities. Perhaps that would be a good chance for us to get on board and test drive her, so to speak."
"If you want her to fly I'm going to need a substantial amount of my crew ... "
"No need," the Vice President interrupted. "You can tell us what she's capable of and give us a demonstration of the smaller aircraft the first time out. Later we'll check out what she can do and how useful she may be to us."
"Lee and Kara will be thrilled at the chance to fly again." Lee and Kara? Of course, his subconscious whispered. You wouldn't dream of letting anyone else out there would you?
"Lee? As in Lee Adama, your son?" Adama nodded. "In his documentation he wrote that he's been working with the socio-political aspect of the new society. He doesn't mention being a pilot."
"He was. One of the best damn pilots I've ever seen," Adama said proudly. "Kara too. They were a real pair out there." At the other man's confused look he explained. "Lee quit flying when Kara died - -disappeared. He saw her ship explode and we all thought she was dead. He didn't want to go on without her."
The other man nodded, a quiet meditative look in his eyes as though he was remembering a similar incident. Eventually he looked up and met Adama's eyes again. "You do understand that you'll be under heavy guard and that your pilots will have military escort when they're in the sky. It's not that I think you're going to try anything, but not everyone is as trusting ... "
"I understand fully," Adama said. "In your place I would do the same thing. We've only been here a few weeks - I imagine some might still wonder what our motives are."
"Exactly."
"We ourselves have been deceived by an enemy who pretended to be a friend. It's never a bad idea to be a little suspicious."
The Vice President held out his hand and Adama shook it warmly. "I like you Admiral. You and I see things on the same wavelength. I really hope you turn out not to be against us. I'd love for you to be an ally."
"I'd assure you of my goodwill but as you don't really know me, my assurances would mean little. I hope as time goes by that we're able to get to know one another and work together."
The Vice President smiled a genuine smile. "As do I. I'll have to consult with the President and the head of the military on this but I think we can set something up reasonably quickly since this was already near the top of their agenda."
"Thank you very much sir. I appreciate the favour and owe you one."
The Vice President smiled as he reached for the door to let them out. "I'll remember that."
"That was surprisingly easy," Roslin said, once they were in a car on their way back to the hotel.
"Surprisingly," Adama agreed quietly, nodding his head almost imperceptibly at the driver of the vehicle. She got the message and said no more. "We'll have to keep our eyes open," he said softly. They rode in silence the rest of the way.
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"Daddy, I'm scared."
Helo leaned over and hugged the little girl. Six years old - she knew her way around Galactica better than anyone, in fact she'd found places even the chief hadn't known of and he'd served aboard her longer than anyone alive. He didn't blame his daughter for being scared now, though a seven hour trip on an airplane was nothing compared with the traveling she'd done in her short lift. This was new territory, unfamiliar ground and even she, at her tender age, could feel all the ground rules were changing.
"It's going to be okay Kiera," he said softly, hugging her as best he could as the seat belt restrained him. "We're going to another country - a place where we'll have a permanent home and you can go to school and have friends."
"I already had friends," she objected. "Where are they?"
"Sweetie, this world is a very large one - much, much bigger than Galactica, and people are going to spread out and live in different places. It's likely we won't end up living near your old friends so you and Hera will have to make new ones."
She pouted but didn't cry. Helo was proud. He remembered moving several times as a kid when his mother had been transferred and he'd always been terrified of going to new schools and having to make new friends. He'd cried many a time.
"At least you still have your sister. You'll go to the same school so you won't be completely alone. And soon you'll make new friends and you'll grow to love it here."
She sniffed a little but though he could see tears in her eyes, they didn't fall. "Will it be cooler where we're going?" she asked quietly.
He smiled. "Yeah it will. I made sure of that - the heat was way too intense down there."
She nodded and leaned against his arm, closing her eyes. He smiled at her, feeling tears prickle the back of his eyes. It was good that she slept. It had been a tough couple of weeks for them all and it was only going to get tougher before it got easier.
In the seat behind them, Sharon and Hera were having a similar conversation.
"Where are we going Mommy?"
"A place called the United States of America."
"What's that?"
"It's a country on this world."
"And that's where we're staying? Like to live there?"
"I think so honey."
"Will anyone we know be there?"
"I don't know sweetie. This world is a large one and I imagine the fleet will spread out. People will move to places that suit them."
"Will this place be cooler than the last one? Because that was way too hot for me."
Sharon smiled. "I believe so. It sure couldn't get much hotter."
"Good." There was a pause. "Will Kiera and I be going to school?"
"Yes."
"So we'll have to make new friends then."
"Yes you will. But remember, don't tell anyone that we're different. No one can know the truth about us."
"I know."
The frustration in her daughter's voice made her smile. She remembered the days when she'd been frustrated at her parents for reminding her of things she already knew. It seemed life had come full circle. Except that none of those memories aren't real, her subconscious said softly. She ignored it. In her head she knew she was different but she was going to do everything possible to pretend she was completely human.
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The tunnel was dark and he was scared. His heart pounded furiously.
'Mommy!' he thought, wishing, hoping she was somewhere close by.
"Do not be afraid child. There will be a time of darkness in your life but you must not fear it. It is part of your destiny. We will be there to guide you through so long as you hold fast to your faith."
"I don't understand," the boy said, fear plain as daylight on his small face.
"You have been shown you what you must do. Listen and heed what is in your heart. A guardian has been sent to watch over you, so you need not fear the coming darkness."
Words began to run through his mind - fragments of sentences he'd heard somewhere ... he couldn't remember where. The words were comforting, though he wasn't quite sure what they meant.
As Zachary Adama Smith woke up the next morning he had a vague recollection of having had an important dream, though he couldn't remember the details. Words sprang to his lips -
'... though I walk through the shadow of death, it's specter looming over me, I shall fear no evil, for my Gods are with me ... surely goodness and mercy shall be with me all the days of my life and I will dwell in eternity with my Gods forever ... '
Zach was afraid. He knew he shouldn't be - the words had always given him comfort, particularly because he remembered them from when his mother had whispered them as he'd fallen asleep at night, but he couldn't help but fear.
He was only human.
TBC