author's notes: special thanks to my beta Inwenalas.

characters: Sebastian, Frank Wilder (OC), Joan Wilder (OC), Diana Smythe (OC), Belle Smythe (OC), Kurt/Blaine, Rachel, June (OC), Mr Anderson, (and surprise guests!)

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Sebastian visits June at home after not hearing from her, but her parents tell him what happened. What will he do?

BUT YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE WEAPONS;;

chapter twenty

(Here's where I stand, Here's who I am

Help me to move on but please don't tell me how

I'm on my way, I'm moving now.)

.

Sebastian doesn't know what to think of June's sudden silence. They had that intimate conversation the night of her birthday, and then he had coffee with her and Blaine the next day—but not a word since then. He's set himself a pretty rigorous schedule, balancing finals, lacrosse and Warbler practice, so he'd had to skip out on a few morning coffees, but she hadn't been answering his texts or calls either, not even from Belle. And considering what they went through with her just two weeks ago he never thought she'd start avoiding Belle again.

Did that mean she made up her mind about him? Did she decide he was no longer worth her time? They were doing so well, falling back into a rhythm, and he was slowly taking his time figuring things out. But now, he can't make heads or tails of her behavior anymore.

So he decided to face the problem head on. If she won't come to him, he would go to her. Simple as that. Only he's been parked in front of her house for ten minutes now and he still hasn't gotten out of the car. He knows it's late, and June's car isn't in the driveway—could it be in the garage?

Screw this, he needs to know what's going on, if it's something he did or something she's decided or something he hasn't even thought of yet.

He rings the doorbell, surprised when it's both of June's parents answering the door.

"I'm sorry to drop by so late, but—"

"June isn't here," Frank Wilder says.

"Okay," he says, figuring he was right about the car after all. Maybe she's over at Blaine's. "Do you know when she'll be back? She's not answering her phone."

June's father shakes his head. "She won't be back, son."

A chuckle escapes him involuntarily, but an eerie suspicion creeps up on him, especially once he notices June's mother is close to tears. "I don't follow," he says tentatively, a sickening feeling settling at the bottom of his stomach.

June's mother leaves and retreats further back into the house. What's going on? Where is June?

"June doesn't live here anymore," her father answers.

"Why not?" the words push past his lips, but he realizes he already knows the answer. Son of a—no, this can't actually be happening, he thinks, they can't have done this to her too, what kind of parents are they?

"She told us some things uhm—"

"June!" he calls out into the house, it's sudden and even he didn't see it coming, but something inside of him snaps. He forces his way inside, his long legs carrying him inside and up the stairs before June's father manages to stop him. He pushes through her bedroom door, the first time he's actually set foot in there, but it's not hard to see—a lot of the shelves have been cleared, and whatever was still June's is packed up into boxes on the floor. Only the furniture is still in place.

His breathing deepens, heart hammering in his chest. He balls his hands into fists. How could they? Who the fuck did these people think they were? Doing this to their son and their daughter? How do they even live with themselves?

He runs down the stairs, June's parents waiting for him there—he guesses they realized he needed to see it with his own two eyes to believe it. "You kicked her out?" he asks. "You actually kicked her out of her own home?"

"No daughter of ours will live here until she straightens herself out."

In any other case he would have applauded June's father for such a specific and pointed choice in words, but right now he just wants to punch the man. He's fuming, practically shaking with sheer rage over this. How could they?

"Maybe you can talk to her, honey," her mother takes a step closer to him. "The two of you make such a lovely couple."

He feels his heart drop to his stomach—this is his fault too, he's the one that convinced June they could make it 'look good' for her parents, pretend that he's her boyfriend and put them at ease. So much has happened since then and he knows there's a part of him that wants to be her real boyfriend now. Maybe he even wants that part to become bigger.

"So did she and Sarah," he shoots back, because this isn't about him or his feelings. "You know, her ex-girlfriend."

June's mother starts crying, but he couldn't be bothered to care. They brought this on themselves, years of instilling June with fear of what could happen should she ever come out. And now those fears came true.

"Where is she?" he asks, his anger momentarily making way for concern. "Where'd she go?"

"With that faggot friend of hers."

The insult is the final straw.

He doesn't know how he manages it, how he keeps his fists balled without striking or how he doesn't tear the entire house down right there and then, but he draws a step closer to Frank Wilder, towering over him. "You listen to me, Mr Wilder," Sebastian says, voice threatening but steady. "Blaine Anderson is the best thing to have happened to your daughter since she moved here and I won't have you insult him in front of me."

Part of him wants to think he was a good thing too, but he's defending a point here and if there's one point to make about June's life in Lima, Blaine needs to be mentioned. There's a reason why the two of them are friends, why she felt drawn to him and why they get along. He won't hear anyone insult either of them anymore.

"He's an ab—"

But Sebastian interrupts Frank Wilder again—he's afraid that if he doesn't he might just punch him yet. "This is everything she was afraid would happen," he says, desperation starting to cling at him as well. How is she doing? She's in good hands with Blaine, always will be, but how is she feeling? She'd held onto the hope that her parents would go easy on her, that maybe this time it would be different and now look.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," he sneers.

He turns around without saying another word, out the door and into his car, where he just sits and stares out in front of him. Silly girl, he catches himself thinking. He's proud of her, god damn it he is, she was so brave doing this, but why couldn't she have waited until graduation? Until after finals and Nationals and everything else still left to do in this town? She could've come out and moved away without going through the hassle of moving to Blaine's—

What is he even saying? It doesn't matter what he thinks, what's done is done, the damage has been done.

He slams a hand hard against the steering wheel, but it does nothing to calm him down; his heart rate spikes again and his breathing deepens and he doesn't know what to do with himself. She can't keep doing this to him, take her distance when she very well knows he cares about her. Why didn't she tell him she was doing this now? Was that phone call after her birthday party an announcement? Should he have deciphered its meaning?

He starts the car and decides to swing by Blaine's. But when he gets there he has no idea what he plans on doing. It's been a week and a half since her birthday, but her silence has only lasted this past week—how long has she been living with Blaine? If he hadn't been so busy with finals and Warbler practice he might've noticed whether or not they'd frequented the Lima Bean.

If it's been a week then she's already cried in Blaine's arms, maybe even Joe's and—no, the thought of Joe and June still makes him insanely jealous. But could his arms still offer her anything at this point? He parks in front of Blaine's house, spotting June's blue Ford Mondeo on the driveway.

He gets out of the car and walks right up to the front door, raises his hand to ring the doorbell—but he stops.

He's not what June needs right now. He's a seething mess of rage and personal indignation, ready to call her parents every which name or go right back there and punch her father's lights out. But that's not what she needs right now. She needs comfort and friendship, she needs someone to tell her that everything will be alright and have that be the truth.

And he can't do that for her right now.

Blaine can do that. Joe can do that. Hell, even Kurt could do that.

Not him, not with the state he's in.

So he just decides to go home instead, maybe he can go punch the wall in his bedroom if his anger gets to be too much.

"Sebastian?" his stepmother chirps as soon as he's through the door, cornering him in the hallway before he manages to escape upstairs. "What's going on? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he snaps. "I'm fucking great."

"Don't use that language with me, young man."

He takes a deep breath—he shouldn't take this out on his stepmother. He's never hidden his dislike of her, but she's been good to him even when she didn't need to be. Despite her religion and her insistence never to talk about his sexuality at least she's always made the effort to communicate. It's not her fault that he never responded. "I'm sorry," he says, but doesn't meet her eye.

He can feel Diana's eyes on him, studying him closely, and he guesses there's something in his expression or behavior that cautions her, because she doesn't go into 'his language'. "Can you go see your sister?" she asks instead. He frowns. "For some reason she'll only go to sleep if you tell her about what happened between you and June tonight."

He'd promised his sister earlier today that he'd get to the bottom of June's silence.

He shrugs. "Fine."

He drags himself up the stairs slowly, taking his time to take a few deep breaths—he definitely doesn't want to take out his anger on his sister. When he opens the door Belle shoots up in her bed. "Bastian, did you talk to June?" she asks, her voice a strange mixture of worry and excitement.

"I did," he lies, sitting down on Belle's bed. "She's—" He frowns to himself; he better come up with a valid excuse or Belle might lose it again. "She's really sad right now because someone was really mean to her and—I think she just needs some time alone."

Belle pouts, but he knows it's only because she feels sad for June. "She should have a big brother like you, Bastian," she says. She crawls towards him over the sheets and hoists herself in his lap, hugging her short arms around his neck.

Normally he would recoil from this kind of schmoopiness, for a long time he thought it made him weak or feminine or whatever else ridiculous reasons he'd thought up to avoid this kind of intimacy. But his baby sister has done this for him before, made his anger float right out of him by a few well-placed words or gestures. He's grateful for that, because it's what he needs to put things into perspective. June doesn't need him angry. She needs something else entirely.

"You're right," Sebastian says, pulling his sister into a tight embrace. Leave it to a six-year old to make him realize what he has to do. "She should."

.

(In this life we've come so far, But we're only who we are

With the courage of love to show us the way

We've got the power to stand up and say…)

.

"How's she doing?" Kurt asks, his face framed by Blaine's computer screen. He's sitting cross-legged on his bed, his laptop on the sheets in front of him. As soon as June found out he'd been cancelling his Skype sessions (with Kurt's permission) to spend time with her she'd freaked out and told him he shouldn't put her before his relationship. She was a guest in his house and it wasn't his job to wait on her every whim or devote every free minute to her. In a lot of ways, having June around has really started feeling like having a sister.

"She's—I don't know." Blaine shakes his head. "I think she's putting on a brave face." He sighs deeply. "I've never seen anything like it. The way her parents talked to her, I mean—I always figured she was exaggerating a little, but Kurt," –he leans closer to his laptop and lowers his voice, as if June's right there in the room with him and he doesn't want her to hear—, "it was brutal. And I just sat there thinking I should say something or do something, but they just—"

"You were there for her," Kurt says, trying to calm him down. He can't help it; he's still angry. "That's all that matters."

"Hey, boys," Rachel's voice sounds from off-screen, the sound of a door closing and then she comes into view on his computer screen. She sits down next to Kurt, who throws her a disgruntled side-glance.

"Hey, Rachel," Blaine says, and can't supress a smile. Kurt always gets so adorably annoyed whenever Rachel interrupts one of their Skype conversations.

"What are we talking about?" Rachel asks excitedly, but her face grows serious instantly once she remembers what's been going on in his life. "June? How's she holding up?"

"She's—"

"Rachel," Kurt interrupts, "you know I love you, but you need to stop eavesdropping on every conversation I have. Boundaries."

"But I'm just worried about June." Rachel pouts.

Kurt sighs. Blaine takes it as his cue to answer Rachel's question.

"She spends most of her time writing or studying," he says. "She doesn't talk about it."

"What about Sebastian?" Kurt asks, seemingly accepting that Rachel's going to be in on this conversation whether he wants it or not. Blaine understands, sometimes he prefers Rachel out of the equation too, but they'll all be together in New York soon—they'll find more alone time then. "Does he know?"

"Sebastian?" Rachel asks, perking up slightly. Sometimes Blaine thinks June's right; Sebastian's sister Belle is a mini-Berry in the making. "Why are we talking about him?"

"I don't think he knows," Blaine answers, ignoring Rachel's question only because the answer seems so important. To be honest he's given Sebastian little thought this past week, mostly because June hasn't mentioned him. He knows she has other things on her mind than waiting for Sebastian to decide something he might never even settle on—he knows he was a big advocate for both of them taking their time, but he really hopes Sebastian isn't messing with her feelings.

"He should," Kurt says.

"He told her he needed time to figure things out," Blaine says. "And I'm not sure she can handle more—I don't think we should risk it." He's still too worried about her emotional state to throw Sebastian in the mix as well—who knows what that would do to her. Then again, maybe she needs Sebastian.

"We are talking about Sebastian Smythe, right?" Rachel asks, clearly confused about where this conversation is going. He guesses she hasn't listened in on all of Kurt's conversations then.

Kurt sighs again. "June's in love with him and he might have feelings for her too."

Rachel promptly stops commenting and her jaw just about drops to the floor.

There's a knock on his door, so soft he almost misses it, but June walks into his room moments later. "Your mom wants to know if pizza's okay for dinner," she says.

"Yeah, sure," he answers, but motions for her to come closer. "Come here."

June walks over and sits down next to him on the bed. "Hey, guys," she says once she sees he's talking to Rachel and Kurt, his hand settling at the small of her back.

"June, I want you to know that we're both here for you no matter what," Rachel takes over the conversation and even pushes Kurt away from the screen. "In fact, I'm going to put together a care package with skin and hair products and some of my favorite nail polish."

June chuckles. "Thanks, Rach."

"And we're going to have so much fun in New York," Rachel continues, flashing her 1000-Watt smile. "We could go shopping or get our hair and nails done. And Kurt and Blaine can come with us!"

"Oh yay, we're invited," Kurt deadpans, and moves back into view.

"You'll see, June, everything will be just fine," Rachel adds, ignoring Kurt's comment.

June smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She still looks a mess; she might be putting on a brave face but she hasn't been eating much and he knows she hasn't been sleeping very well. "How about we give these boys their Skype session back?" she says. She looks at Blaine, who smiles at her lovingly—he wonders if she knows how many Skype sessions he could really stand to miss just to cheer her up.

June kisses his cheek, and as she gets up to leave the room he sees Rachel do the same with Kurt.

"You realize we're going to be stuck with those two forever," Kurt asks once they're alone again.

"Hmm," Blaine muses and nods. "Would we really want it any other way?"

Kurt scrunches his nose. "Not really."

"They are our girls, after all," Blaine says. "For better or worse."

.

(Here's where I stand, Here's who I am

Stand up and be counted, I'm counting on you

If you're with me we'll make it through.)

.

"Hey, those are mine," June complains when Blaine steals one of her Oreos. She's curled up in a ball on the sofa next to him, halfway through a viewing of Midnight In Paris. He's lost count of the amount of times they've watched this movie in the past two years, but it never loses its magic.

"My house. My rules," Blaine mumbles, already chewing down half of the cookie.

"My money. My cookies," June shoots back.

He chuckles, but he's so many more times grateful for the smile he manages to elicit from June. It took a long time before he made her smile again, but he's slowly getting there. He knows she still hasn't processed everything that's happened to her these past weeks, that could take months or even years—worse, she might never be the same again, but he sure as hell won't stop trying to cheer her up.

"We should go there one day," June says, focused on the movie again, and starts fiddling with her necklace.

She'd explained what exactly the infinity sign represented, and he realized quickly he shouldn't comment on it. He's not sure how healthy it is for her to hold onto one perfect night she had with Sebastian, when both of them are aware he might never make up his mind. He's terrified that Sebastian will break her heart. He should tell her, but she's still so vulnerable right now and he has to remind himself time and time again that she knows Sebastian better than him. But that doesn't make him any less worried.

"Together," June adds.

"With Kurt," he comments fast, hoping June didn't notice his distraction.

June chuckles. "Of course."

"Is it really like that?" he asks, watching a magical Paris coming to life on screen.

June bumps shoulders with him, her head settling on his shoulder. "It's better in real life," she teases, curling up close to him. He shifts slightly and lets June nuzzle his neck—even though there's moments he'd much rather have Kurt with him he never flinches away from this intimacy with June—he knows he's lucky to have someone like her in his life, and he knows she feels the same way. He couldn't be without Kurt, but he couldn't live without June either.

"Blaine, there's someone here to see your friend," his father calls from behind them.

He and June sit up and turn their heads in unison—there's a young man standing next to his father, another one behind him. He feels June get up from the sofa, and when he looks up at her he can tell her face has fallen, a look in her eyes like she can't believe what she's seeing.

"J, what's going on?" Blaine asks, and gets up alongside her. It's then that he sees the tears in her eyes. He looks back at the young man, the brown hair, matching brown eyes. This can't be— "June?" he asks again.

"John," June breathes.

Blaine looks back at the man still standing next to his father, the black leather jacket strangely reminding him of Cooper. This is June's brother? Then the other man has to be—his boyfriend maybe? He's tall, his blonde hair standing up in spikes, dressed in an identical leather jacket. They're both carrying motorcycle helmets.

"Hey, sis," John says, an uncertain smile pulling at his mouth.

June shakes her head—her mind's reeling, it's all coming at her at the same time and she can't process it all fast enough. "What are you doing here?" she asks, voice just above a whisper.

Her brother shrugs. "I went by the house. Heard about what happened."

But how, June thinks, he only ever comes home for Christmas. Who told him about what happened? Was it Blaine? His parents? Ms Pillsbury or Mr Schuester?

"I thought you could use—" John's voice trails off, mistaking her silence for disinterest or even anger.

June loops around the couch and rushes towards her brother, falling into his arms. "I've missed you so much," she says, squeezing her eyes shut, holding on tight to make sure this isn't all a dream, that it's actually happening and her brother won't disappear into thin air.

John releases a breath, his arms circling around her torso. "Missed you too, sis."

June moves back to look at her brother. "I can't believe you're here," she says. "Who—" She looks at Blaine, thinking that maybe he's responsible for this, because how else would her brother have figured this out and known where she was staying? But Blaine seems just as surprised as her.

"I uh—" John starts, and retrieves a piece of paper from his jacket pocket. "I got this email a few days ago," he says, handing her the printout.

June only means to scan the page for a name, for some explanation, but then the words really come into view and she finds herself reading the whole thing:

Dear John,

I know you and I don't know each other and you probably have little care for who I am, but I hope you can bring yourself to read what I have to say. You see, I have had the pleasure of knowing your sister these past two years. I'll be the first to admit that she's a handful and probably more trouble than she's worth—except I've gotten to know her and know that the trouble she puts you through is worth the hardship. Because behind those crass words there's a kind and gentle person who stands up for what she believes in and never backs down.

I know this might not be the same girl you remember but it's the young woman she's grown into. And I know from what she's told me that much of this is due in part of you. You gave her the strength to make up her own mind, to be brave and make the right choices when needed. I think if you took the chance to get to know her again the two of you might actually get along.

I'm not pretending to know you, hell, I'm not even pretending to really know June, but I do know she needs you more than ever now.

I have a lot of reasons to be writing this email, most of which I will spare you, but know this: after just two minutes with your parents I understand why you left. Just know that June is now facing everything you once did and she could use the comfort a big brother can offer. June taught me how to be one to my own sister, so I can only surmise she had one amazing example, even if her eight-year old self might have built you up into a glorified hero. Because that is what you are to her: a hero.

I won't blame you if you don't listen to me; I myself know the scars coming out can leave, what significance a parent's reaction has over any other, so no, I won't blame you. June never needs to know you and I had any contact. In fact, either way, I beg you not to tell her, I fear I might never hear the end of it.

If you do choose to come, she's staying with a friend, Blaine Anderson, whose address I include here.

With kind regards,

Sebastian Smythe.

June takes a deep breath. Sebastian, she thinks, but can't form any other coherent thought. Deep down she knows he cares about her, but somehow that had never fully reached the surface. But this—she hasn't been very fair to him keeping her distance, but she's had other things on her mind. Only now it's clear that he's been looking out for her despite that distance, and it only makes her love him more.

"He—" she chokes out, and clears her throat. "He asked you not to tell," she says, looking up at her brother.

"When a guy sends an email like this behind your back," her brother says, casually glancing and smiling at his boyfriend, now standing next to him, "it's worth knowing about."

"Sebastian did this?" Blaine takes a step closer, having surmised whom exactly they're talking about. June pushes the letter into his hands, an easier explanation than what she's capable of right now. Tears are brimming in her eyes again, but she doesn't want to cry. This is too beautiful to cry over. "June, he—" Blaine says softly. "He really cares about you."

June nods, fighting her tears.

Blaine suddenly feels bad for thinking so low of Sebastian, because in all this he hadn't once considered contacting June's brother. Why not? Maybe he selfishly believed he was more of a brother than John was, but at least Sebastian gave him the benefit of the doubt, or the chance to prove himself.

He's been so wrong about Sebastian all along. Sebastian deserves the benefit of the doubt as well.

.

(Here's where I stand,

Love me, love me, love me and we'll make it through

Here's where I stand

I'm counting, I'm counting, I'm counting on you.)

References:

o1. soundtrack: Camp OST; Here's Who I Am

if you can, please let me know what you think!