#HappyMonday my darlings!
Here is your next chapter of this tale. I know it's unusual for me to post on a Monday but I got plans for this fic so I'm trying to keep myself going.
This chapter has Olitz but quite a bit of Peter. I would like to remind you to please keep an open mind when reading.
So happy reading and I'll be looking for your #Crumbs on the flip side.
Me's
/
Chapter 20: Letting Go – To Move On…
"Maybe you've been looking for love in all the wrong places. Maybe you've been searching in all the wrong people. Maybe the love you seek, has been inside you all along." – Melissa Egrin
On My Own...
Fitz glared at Peter. How did he enter Miss Rose's home without him knowing? When did he come inside? Why did HIS agents sworn to protect him, grant him entry without speaking to him first? What does he want with Olivia? How much of their conversation has he heard? Is he NOW aware that Olivia is dating him?
God-forbid is Peter here to take her out on another date! Fitz swears this time if he thinks about taking his girlfriend out, it will not bode well for Peter. There is no way on earth he'll allow Peter to touch, take out, and KISS Olivia – ever. Olivia Carolyn Pope is dating him – the future President of the United States of America.
His grip tightens on his girlfriend, in his lap. Fitz's chin moves her hair from her shoulder then nestles into the crook of her neck. Her muscles tighten as Fitz lips are felt on her skin. She attempts to shrug him off but he WILL NOT budge. His nose buries in her scent, basking in cucumber melon lotion she used this morning on her skin, and coconut from her shampoo.
His eyes squeeze tightly together as visions of Peter kissing her the other day pour into his mind. He's leaning over in the car, their lips touching, whispering he'll love her always. Images of their date, which she never told him about, pop into his mind. He sees Peter holding her hands at dinner, feeding each other, then perhaps he takes her home to HIS place.
He knows Olivia did not sleep with him, but of course if Peter loves her the way he must, how can he NOT want to make love to her. He's a man that's waited so long for Olivia to reciprocate his feelings, and just maybe that one date, was enough to change their relationship in his mind. They are close friends, she can tell him anything. But now he's made it known he wants her.
His arms shift her waist, yanking her backwards. Her back is pressed against his chest. The rigidness in his arms, travels through his biceps, to his shoulders, into his upper body permitting her to feel more than his six pack behind her. Olivia has never felt THIS before. She swears if she makes any sudden moves, he'll come out of the chair, and hit Peter. Even though he has not done anything but make his presence known.
She MUST calm him down before Fitz does something he'll regret.
"Stop," she whispers into Fitz's ear. She nuzzles her nose into his face.
"No," he utters without moving his lips. His eyes open quickly glaring into Peter's daring him to move closer to her.
"Fitz," she utters soft enough for ONLY him to hear. "I'm not going anywhere." She turns her head so her lips are just over his ear. "I. Am. Yours. Forever." Her words shoot through his body. His muscles begin to relax, quick breaths become further apart; his very own heartbeat slows. "I ONLY want you," she murmurs into his ear. "Just you Fitz."
"Livy," he sighs closing his eyes as she nestles her face against his. The warmth and softness of her skin close to his shaved face slowly sooths his fears.
"Look at me," Olivia pleads. Fitz opens his eyes. She angles her body, to face him. One of her arms drapes across the back of his head, on his shoulders. "There you are," she mutters cradling his face with her other hand. "It's going to be just you and me. A team all right."
"Liv-…" he begins to speak her name but she silences him with a short but brief kiss. Her words ONLY make him love her more, which he didn't think was possible. Fitz is the man she wants – the man she loves with all her heart. He is her first priority. Fitz is so startled he automatically does not respond. His back straightens as his hands fly up in the air as she plants open mouthed kisses on his lips.
She presses her soft lips to his with more force, as she reaches for his hands placing them on her face. Once she does so, a smile creeps on her face. Fitz responds and kisses her firmly in return. His hands catch move to the back of her neck, tilting her head backwards. His fingers slide down the back of her neck, leaving goosebumps behind.
"Lib-." Peter staggers his words watching her kiss Fitz in a manner she never kissed him. It's not deep, or passionate but it's conveying her TRUE feelings. Her open eyes, connect with Fitz's as her lips place themselves on his. They are not moving, no attempts to deepen it, but she is rendering thoughts in Fitz confirming in his mind, it is HIM she wants.
Chills run through Fitz's body, as her hands find their way into his curls. Her feathery soft lips sent shivers down his spine, tightening Fitz's hold. She does not remove her plush soft lips from his until Fitz relaxes in her arms. A soft serene smile appears on his face. "Livy…," he sighs clasping her soft cheeks in his large hands.
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Peter's heartbroken face. There is also a hint of jealousy behind his eyes. She is not a prize to be one. According to Fitz, she is more priceless than the Constitution and Declaration of Independence. Peter stands his ground willing to fight for her – even if is with Fitz. "Peter and I need the room," she finally speaks.
"O-Liv…," he protests.
"I need to do this on my own," she stresses. "Without you."
Peter mouths to Olivia he'll wait for her in another room. "Peter go in my Papa's study. I'll be right there." He nods. However just before he turns away his eyes lock onto Fitz's. Fitz understands his pain losing someone you love. If it is a fight he wants, he'll fight him for Olivia's hand.
"Peter go…," Olivia instructs him forcefully.
"As you wish," Peter responds, heading to her Grandfather's study.
Peter heads down the hallway, and waits. As he steps into the room, Fitz stands to place Olivia in her chair. He kneels before her. "Are you sure you don't want me to talk to Peter first," he suggests wanting to spare her this confrontation.
"Fitz you can't. This is between Peter and I. He just watched me kiss you. I need to explain why," Olivia explains.
"Olivia he knows we are together," Fitz smirks. "He's a smart man."
"Yes he is. And so are you? How would you feel if you were in his shoes? Peter has had feelings for me for a very long time. And even though he's never acted on them until just recently, secretly he hoped there'd be a chance for us. He's been nothing but kind to me and he's probably my best friend," she explains.
"I thought I was your best friend," Fitz teases.
"Oh Blue Eyes," she chastises. Her hands walk up his chest, then his cheeks. They clasp his face. "You and I are a lot closer than friends don't you think."
Fitz chuckles. "Friends with benefits," he states in deep voice.
"Fitz," she playfully shoves him away.
"I for one cannot wait to cash in on THOSE benefits," his eyes rake over her body. His hands go to her bottom and squeeze. She feels his hands only a little.
"Stop," she grumbles.
Fitz sighs. He kisses her lips. "You know you don't have to be in control all the time."
"This conversation with Peter and I is long overdue. Please," she pouts. "Go chop wood if you need to relax."
"And give the neighbors a show," he smirks.
"Well if the shoe fits," she teases. He smirks at her word choice. "Now go. I can handle him."
"Fine," he growls. "But I won't be gone long. I am not worried about you handling him. Understand."
"Yes Mr. President," she teases. The jealousy in his voice is apparent. He does not mind (too much) her talking to other men. However when the man in question is in love with her, it's an entirely different story. He leans forward to kiss her again but she stops him. He grumbles but stands in the kitchen watching her wheel down the hall to Peter.
/
The Conversation…
Peter hears her coming and steps outside to help. "Hey," she whispers.
"Hey," he smiles but the heartbreak is in his eyes in voice. He steps aside for her to enter the office and then sees Fitz watching from the kitchen. He motions between the both of them to speak. Fitz crosses his arms across his chest but agrees. He points to the backyard in order for Peter to find him when they are done talking.
"Okay," Peter mouths heading into Joseph's office. He leaves the door open behind him remembering Miss Rose's rules.
Olivia wheels to her Papa's desk and turns around to face Peter. "You can close the door you know. This room is not a bedroom."
"No it's fine," he sighs standing by the door. Their stare into the other eyes, uncomfortably for a bit unsure of what to say. She rehearsed how to break her relationship with Fitz over and over again but now he's here? She's at a loss. She has to be honest, but how to do it and not break his heart anymore.
"So," Peter speaks first. "Does your Grampa still have liquor in here?"
"Peter it's not even nine in the morning," she glances at the clock.
"Yah well it is five o'clock somewhere Libby. I am going to need it for this conversation." His words hang out there. Shortly a smile appears on his face. Olivia begins to relax. He walks to her, slips his coat off then sits on the couch. He taps it for her to sit beside him. She wheels over. She lifts herself out of her chair then sits beside him.
"What," she turns to face him.
"I was ready to lift you up and help but didn't want your boyfriend to come in here with the Secret Service and have me arrested," Peter mocks in a hurt tone.
"Peter…?"
"Fitzgerald Grant is your boyfriend right," he inquires in a tone sharper than intended. His eyes pool with tears he will not permit to fall. She cannot look at him. Olivia never wanted to break his heart. But the truth is he's not the one. She turns away facing a picture of her and Peter at her Graduation. "Libby is he," he questions again.
She nods solemnly.
"I need you to say the words to me Lib. You at least owe me that much," Peter grouses.
She exhales before lifting her head to meet his. "Yes I'm dating Fitz. We got together the day before Christmas. Peter I never…,"
Peter stops her from talking. He leaves the couch walking away from his spot. He's upset and must place some distance between them. He's loved her for so long. But there was always someone in the way. He thought for a time it had been Max, but she never kissed nor looked at Max like she Fitz.
"Never what…" he pauses picking up their picture together. Miss Rose captured the moment he placed the necklace he gave her around her neck. She's smiling and he's hugging her from behind. He realized that day he was in love with her. He made it a point to wait until it was his time to be with her. Friendship with her was enough until just recently. He wanted more.
"I didn't want to hurt you. I had planned on you finding out another way. I didn't mean to kiss him in front of you. But," she whispers.
"But what Olivia," Peter voice breaks. His hand runs over their photo together wishing he could be the one she chose.
"It's always been Fitz. I was not with him when we out the other day. He's the one. Peter I…," Peter turns around to face her. "I'm," she stammers just above a whisper. "I've been in…." she loses her words again finding herself tongue tied. Her hand begin to fidget in her lap. "Fitz is…,"
"The love of your life." Peter kneels in front of her watching her own tears begin to cascade down her face. He's barely holding it together. He places his hands over her lap for her to hold. She finally places her hands in his. He brings them to his face covering his cheeks. He cups her own face. "Don't cry Lib's. You know I melt when you cry."
She smiles. "Senator's aren't supposed to melt," he quips.
"Yah well I guess when it comes to you I'm a sap," he nudges her hand on his face. She chuckles as the tension slowly diminishes between them. Their eyes stay connected as he sits beside her again. Their hands stay connected.
"I'm sorry Peter. I never meant to hurt you," she reaches up to hold his face. "You have to believe me."
"I do. I figured one day the mystery man would come along and steal you away. I just had no idea it would be our Nation's next President. How can I even compete with that," he mocks but she hears the sarcasm in his tone.
"You don't," Olivia explains. He squints unsure. Does she want him to fight for her? "You are still my best friend Peter. Please don't allow my relationship with Fitz to change it. I don't want you to fight Fitz for me Peter. I am not a prize to be won at the local craft fair. But just in case my choice will always be Fitz. He's NOT the President to me Peter. He's so much more. Don't compare yourself to Fitz. You two are nothing alike. Please?"
"Why not?"
"Because it's not worth it," she gently squeezes his hands. "I'm not worth it."
"Fuck yes you are," he growls. His language startles her. Of course she's heard him curse before but not in direct reference to her. "Olivia you are the most incredible woman I have EVER met. How come still after all the years I have known you, you don't believe that?" His voice begins to raise growing frustrated.
"Peter come on," she groans as her cheeks flush.
"It's the truth. You are worth it Libby. And if were to walk out there and ask Fitzgerald Grant he'd say the same thing. You know it too. Why does he have that I don't," he inquires.
"My heart," she sighs in a dreamy voice. Now the tears are beginning to form in his eyes again. He begins to move away from her but her grip on his hands tightens. "He IS my heart Peter. I think I always knew he would be. From the moment I saw him when I was a little girl, I never stopped thinking, wondering if he'd like me. Or when we got older, and met, could he ever want me. I've known him in some strange way through Noni my entire life."
"But I've been here for you Lib's. He hasn't…," he points out. "I was with you after Max and you lost…"
She squints. "True. You did get me through losing Max and so much more. I'll never forget either. He lived across the country in California. I believe we were always destined to meet. It just had to be at the right time. Why do you think I wanted to be the best dancer," he shrugs his shoulders. "I pushed myself to be the best so HE would see me, and maybe…,"
"Maybe?"
"Maybe love me in return," she admits.
"Libby," he coos wiping a tear off her cheek. "Do you think he's doesn't?"
She sighs. "I don't know Peter. He's says, does things like no one else has before. Gosh I still can't believe I touched the actual Constitution."
"You did what," he gasps. Olivia explains to him their Christmas Eve dates. Peter sits back on the couch in shock. "Holy shit."
"I know," smiles. "Don't EVER compare yourself to Fitz. You are both extraordinary men. It's just he's the one I was supposed to be with all this time. I never felt for Max the way I do for Fitz."
"Why shouldn't I compare myself to The President – Elect? I lost you to him Lib's," he scoffs. His hurt pride is evident. He quickly leaves the sofa. He cannot be close to her right now. Like Fitz, she is his ultimate weakness.
"Peter that's not fair," she whines.
"LIFE IS NOT FAIR LIB," Peter voice raises. He's never yelled at her before. She sits back crossing her hands in her lap giving him the opportunity to speak. "THERE IS NOTHING FAIR ABOUT THIS – YOU AND HIM. I have been waiting for the right moment to be with you, to be chosen by you. All I have wanted is your love. He comes along, bats his blue eyes and wins the girl."
"Peter he did not win me. That is NOT what happened," she explains. "And he did not flutter his eyes either."
"And…,"
"And what," she lifts herself off the couch into her chair. She begins to wheel towards him.
"He's tall, rather good looking, in politics, a Republican, a former Military man, in the public eye." Peter reiterates. Olivia crosses her arms. He walks to her kneeling in front of her. "I can give you a life – a good life. And it won't be as public as his. There will be people taking his picture all the time. He'll never be alone. Fitzgerald Grant's world is about to change. Are you ready for what that means?"
"Peter," she mutters. "I don't have to explain anything to you."
"That's true. But I don't want you to get hurt," he whimpers. "If he breaks your heart Libby I…," he cannot say the words. She reaches up to hold his face as the tears begin to come down his cheeks. "I'll personally make it my mission to destroy him. Personally and professionally."
"Peter," she warns. "He won't."
"What if someone HURTS you because of him," he hates to be the bad buy but this is something she must consider. "Once the World knows you are HIS girl, anything could happen. There are horrible people out in the World. Washington DC is nothing like Vermont."
"I know Peter. I am not stupid. Noni has been having politicians here my entire life. I've seen and heard things," she rolls her eyes.
"Yes I believe it. But THIS – you and The President is totally different. Our party has wanted him to move on for a very long time. They are a bunch of stuffy old men who are eager for the incoming President to find the right woman to be on his arm. These old bastards may not approve of you," he explains in greater detail.
"Right woman? What the hell does that mean," she challenges. Peter will not say the words but the look on his face gives it way. "It's not because of my chair is it?" He nods. "It's because of the color of my skin. They won't approve because Fitz and I are different."
"Libs…," he sighs.
"All they will see is…,"
"Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings," she finishes for Peter. He exhales before her as his hand goes into his pockets. "Well screw them. It's about time you're stupid party deals with IT and ME. I am NOT going away. There are some many divisions in this country. Fitz and I are NOT going to become one of them. I will not allow it. I want to be with Fitz. He is not going to let me go."
Peter steps back hearing the conviction in her voice. "I don't doubt it. However, how is either of us supposed to survive if someone were to hurt you? Have you even thought about it? Any nut job could come, kidnap you or worse. Olivia if you were to die…,"
He can no longer keep his tears at bay. "Peter," she has never seen him this upset before. "He has agents here to look after Noni and I. Nothing will happen."
"I don't want to lose you. From what I gather, losing you would more than destroy The President. Personally, I'd be the same way. Olivia I love you," he says the words as the tears come down his cheeks. He's never voiced it before now. He picked a heck of a time to say it, when she is with another.
"Peter," she speaks his name as the tears come down her face. "I don't love you. Not the way you want me too. I…"
He stops her before she speaks another word. "Don't say those precious words to me Libs. He should be the first to hear them," he croaks. His eyes shimmer. "I wish it was me."
"I know. Come here," she suggests tapping her lap.
"You can't help WHO you love," Peter admits as his tears stream down his face.
He places his head on her upper legs and she hugs him. Soon he is actually crying for losing her to another man. Fitz heard the screaming from outside and came inside. He enters the kitchen just as their voices lower. He stands inside the house a few minutes. Just as he begins to go outside, he hears the tell-tale signs of crying.
/
Letting Go – To Move On.
He slowly walks to Joseph's office after taking his jacket off. He tip toes to the door, stopping just after he can see from the doorway. Olivia's chair is facing sideways, and Peter's head is in her lap. She is leaning over him whispering "I'm so sorry. Forgive me," which he can barely understand. "I never wanted to hurt you."
He should not feel jealous but he cannot help it. His momentarily stunned watching her comfort another man. However hard it is, he knows it must be done. Peter has loved her forever. He wanted a life with her. A life without complications, Press, Secret Service agents, and threats against her well-being.
Hearing Peter muffled words, "I don't want you to get hurt. Please don't die," hits him like a ton of bricks.
"Shhh…," her hands go into his hair. "I'm not going to die Peter. Fitz has me protected."
Fitz softly smiles at her words. However once they step into the light, she'll become a target. She could get killed. He has the agents here but is it enough. A life with him will be complicated, messy, difficult and yet extraordinary. But is it worth it to put her through it all? He's already in too deep. He's so in love with her, more than he thought possible.
I love you Olivia he speaks to himself. But is my love enough. Will it be enough to keep you safe? Is a life with me really what you want?
He has had these doubts before. However hearing Peter's muffled words into her lap, is another dose of his new reality. When she fell out the bed was enough to traumatize him. He cannot be with her all the time. Fitz soon will have the entire world's fate on his shoulders. He never truly considered what it will be like for her to be at his side publically.
She'll never be alone. Every reporter will hunt her down for the next photo op. She won't be able to run because she can't. They will hound her constantly. Reporters can be cruel and heartless. The White House Press Core will want to know about her accident, injuries, surgeries, and how the First Couple will navigate her disability in the Residence.
Can he put her through ALL that and so much more? Yes of course she is a well-known ballerina, which has its own fame. But dating The President of the United States openly, the entire world will now know who she is. Magazines, talk shows, major networks, etc. will want to get their hands on anything news worthy pertaining to Olivia, because of Fitz.
She will no longer be the former Prima Ballerina she was once was known for. All she'll be remembered after January 20th is Olivia Pope – from Prima Ballerina to First Girlfriend. All of this and so much more will occur just because he is head over heels in love with her. Fitz senses in his gut she loves him too. He picks up hints of in in her eyes.
Is there "love" for one another enough? They are so many what if's as Miss Rose like's to remind him. But anything you love is worth the sacrifice. However can he allow her to sacrifice herself to be with him? Is she ready to make that jump on January 20th but he is willing to let it happen? He loves her too much for her to risk it all then realize it was not what she wanted all along.
These thoughts cripple Fitz's heart. "Livy," he mutters to himself. His hand goes over his own heart as the pain of maybe having to let her go hits him like a cement truck. He's so lost in his own mind, he does not hear Quincy coming. He licks Fitz's hand, then goes to Olivia in the den.
Peter's cries turn into sniffles, as Quincy trots to Olivia. He was sleeping upstairs until a few minutes ago. He heard Peter and Olivia and came looking for her. He cold nose touches Peter's skin, starling him. "Lib's…," he gulps not believe there is a dog in THIS house. He sits back on his feet, separating them. "Where did this dog come from?"
She chuckles. "This is Quincy, my mobility assistance dog. His Daddy gave him to me," Fitz leans on the edge of the wall beside him hearing Olivia refer to him as Quincy's father. His hand flies over his heart. The thought of their own children appear in his mind now. He longs for a wife, family, with children not just anyone but Olivia.
Peter chuckles at Quincy licks his nose. "Daddy? Senator Grant," meaning Fitz's father.
"No," Olivia rolls her eyes. "But the Senator did bring him here. I got him from…"
"Me for Christmas," Fitz states finally making his presence known.
Olivia's face lights up seeing Fitz there. "Hi," she blushes.
"Hi Sweetheart," he stammers decreasing the space between them. Olivia's hand reaches for Fitz. Their fingers lace together. He kisses them gently. Peter stands up to greet him. "Senator."
"Mr. President," Peter addresses Fitz. The two men that love her beyond anything on this earth stare at one another. From the intensity in Fitz's eyes, Peter suspects he must have been at the door for some time seeing his head in Olivia's lap. They did nothing wrong, however Peter understands where Fitz's is coming from. "Sir…,"
"I get it," Fitz answers sticking his hand out to Peter to shake. "I really do." He nods then glances down to her lap, where his head was only a few moments ago. "I understand." He may not approve but hopefully this will allow him to move on and find happiness.
The underlying meaning to Fitz's words are not lost on Peter or Olivia. He was at the door. She was so wrapped up in Peter's meltdown, she did not sense his presence. She's embarrassed. However before she can respond, Peter leans down scooping her up in his arms. "Peter," she gasps. He stands there facing Fitz head on with her in his arms.
Fitz is taken back at THIS sudden urge then hold her before his eyes. The first instance was difference, she was not his. However now she is. He is the only one permitted to do so. Even his most trusted agents are perfectly aware of this fact.
Quincy barks as the tension between Fitz and Peter rises. Olivia reaches for him. He licks her fingers then stands at Fitz's side barking at Peter. "Quincy it's okay," Fitz reaches to pet him. He stops but continues to stare at Peter with Olivia in his arms.
"Senator," he grouses, watching Peter squeeze her tightly. He places his head on her brow. Fitz hands ball into fists.
"Peter...," she creeks as his eyes connect with hers. "You have to let me go. I am not who you've been waiting for." He squints. "I taught you how to open your heart to love so when it truly finds you, you will be ready to embrace it." Peter smiles softly. She sounds exactly like Miss Rose. "You need to give me to…,"
"I know Libs," he murmurs. "Remember what I told you all right. But I trust," he walks to Fitz and stops in front of him. "You'll be in good hands. Am I right President Grant?"
"Yes," Fitz answers.
"You'll take care of her," his voice breaks. "Protect her with your last breath. Give Lib's everything she needs. No matter the time or day. She'll be…,"
"Livy is always my first priority Senator Caldwell. The Office I am about to be sworn into will not change anything. I'd give it all up if she'd ask me too." Olivia heart stammers increasing rapidly at his statement. He'd give it all up for her. "I…," Fitz stops just before he utters the words. Peter heart clenches in his chest, now coming to understand fully that Fitz is truly in love with her. Even though he has not spoken the words, it is in his eyes. "Senator I'll always choose her."
Peter nods. "Good." He steps forward to place her in Fitz's arms. "If you hurt her, break her heart, I will break you. Secret Service or not." Fitz eyes raise at his tone. It's one thing for him to say the words, but to hear it from another man, he's speechless. "You will lose more than my vote if Olivia gets hurt. Trust me you WILL NOT get her back. I love her too much."
Olivia mouth drapes open at his admission in front of Fitz. "Peter," she scolds. He just told Fitz he loves her.
Fitz steps forward with his arms open. "Give her too me," he pleads but Olivia senses he's ready to hit him.
He places her FINALLY in Fitz's waiting arms. Once she's secure Peter steps back, then kisses her cheek before pulling away. Fitz grip tightens drawing her closer. "Senator," he grumbles as Peter steps back. "I swear to you she's the most important woman in my life. Livy will always be first. You have my word. Olivia is…"
"I know Mr. President," is all Peter can respond with. Olivia is the love of his life.
"Senator you and I still need…,"
"Yes we do need to talk. But I want you to know THIS between you and I - Mr. President is NOT over. However Liv will be late for therapy with Jackson. I'll stop by next week," he counters. "I'll call and we can set something up." Fitz nods. He looks into Olivia's eyes. Her forehead is pressed up against Fitz's cheek. "Libby remember don't forget what Jackson always tells you."
"Peter," she giggles. Her sudden laugher relaxes both Fitz and Peter.
"Come on Libby. Say it. Just once for me," he winks confusing Fitz.
"Put one foot in front of the other," she sings her best Fred Astaire voice.
"Good remember that," Peter reminds her. "I'll see you both later," uttering to Fitz. Fitz sits Olivia in her chair, then he wheels her out to say goodbye to Peter. Quincy follows behind then positions himself by her side as Peter leaves.
Once he's gone, Fitz pushes her into the kitchen. She notices he's very quiet as he helps her prepare a late breakfast. "You all right," she states softly as they sit down for breakfast. Noni has still not returned from her errands with Uncle Bernard. She instructed Olivia before leaving not to wait to eat. She ate prior to leaving this morning.
"Yah," he states pouring them both tea. Peter words, his thoughts are evident in his mind.
He reaches for the sugar bowl but she braces it against her chest, not allowing him access. "Can I have the sugar please?"
His non flirtatious words give her chills. "Only if you give me some sugar first." She leans over for a quick kiss. He wants to refuse but he can't. He'll never be able to say NO to kissing her. It's just not possible. He kisses her quickly, then pulls away. It's so quick, she could have sworn he barely touched her. He turns his head but she prevents it. "Hey what's wrong? Since when don't you want to kiss me?"
"Liv I'm fine," he answers stirring his coffee. "We need to eat so you can go to therapy. You don't want to be late for Jackson."
"You're a terrible liar," she challenges hearing the jealousy in his voice again. He sighs not wanting to get into another fight with her. "I know you saw Peter and I?" He stops playing with his coffee. "You know nothing happened. Right?"
"Yes," he snaps. He is not looking into her eyes.
"Fitz this is not a sweet tea question," she counters placing her fork down to bend forward to stare into his eyes. "I would never betray you and our commitment to each other. I want ONLY you." She speaks the words slowly as her hand covers the top of his on the table. He exhales as their hands connect. His fingers lace with hers. There are so many fears running through his mind.
How does he even begin to explain them to her? Is she ready for the life he aches to give her? Will she ever be ready?
"Yes but…," he pauses. She waits for him to finish giving him time to formulate his thoughts. "Peter Caldwell is in love with you," he mutters with an exaggerated sigh. "He was laying in your lap. I am the only man that should have that right."
"I'm sorry. He's done it before. I didn't think. Forgive me..." she squeezes his hand urging him to continue. She kisses it urging him to look at her. "No other man will be allowed to again. Only you."
"I know I'm being selfish but I can't share you with him Livy."
"You won't ever have to again. He let me go," she reasons with him.
Fitz would like to believe so but from the look in Peter's ice blue eyes, it is not over. He may have let her go in a way, but his heart is still in love with her. "Did you not know he was in love with you?"
"I think I've always known Fitz. Today was the first day he told me though," she admits. "I suspected it but I never thought I was good enough for him since my accident," he lifts his head to meet her eyes. "Or you for that matter."
He turns to face her, cupping her cheek. "You are MORE than good enough Livy. You are perfect." His voice sounds like he's speaking to an angel. His angel. "But I don't like the fact he's in love with you."
"Fitz," she warns. "He's not going to steal me from you."
"I trust you Livy. I believe Peter only wants what is best for you. However knowing how much he loves you, witnessing it – him crying in your lap," he abruptly stops talking as her eyes gaze into his.
"He needed to let it out. It was his way of letting me go. Peter is a good man, but it's not him that owns my heart," his hands are on her heart. "My mind." Their foreheads touch. "Or my very soul," she kisses him deeply this time. Fitz melts into his as her tongue snakes into his mouth. "You are…," she breathes into his lips.
"My Sunshine," he sings after their lips part making her laugh.
"Pudding," sounding just like her Grandmother. "You are my Blue Eyes."
"Always," he kisses her quickly.
As he breaks their lips apart, his breath hitches as her eyes bore into his. She loves him – Olivia is certain of it. Her eyes are speaking the words because she cannot. She is not ready to say them nor hear them. Not yet. It's too soon. She grasp his cheeks then kisses him doing her best to show him, WHO has her heart.
"Livy," he melts as their lips touch. "Can I please keep you?"
"Oh I suppose so," she giggles. His arms snake around her. He leans them back on the bench. He begins to lift her into his lap as they hear…
"Hey no necking at my table," from her Grandmother. "They only thing that should be hot in here is the food you two," she chastises. "And why are you just eating now. Olivia you have to get to therapy with Jackson?" Miss Rose whips her scarf off from her neck whooshing it by Fitz's nose. "Blue Eyes," she growls blaming him.
"Honest Miss Rose I didn't do it," he stands to hold her hand. "Senator Caldwell came by just as we were getting ready to make breakfast."
"My Lover Muffin," she sighs "was here." Olivia and Fitz smirk at her nickname for Peter. Then she notices Fitz then Olivia's sad face. "He knows you and Blue Eyes are an item at gather?"
"Yes Noni."
"And," Miss Rose inquires holding her hand.
"I broke his heart," Olivia whimpers. Fitz arm goes around her drawing her close to his side. His lips kiss her brow lingering them for as long as possible.
Miss Rose sits in front of her. "I know my sweet girl. Hearing it from anyone other than you would have been ten times worse. It would have shattered his heart instead of just breaking it."
"It's the same thing Noni," Olivia murmurs.
"No it's different. These pieces are bigger and can be repaired with a little love and care from you." Fitz does not like that idea at all. "Fitzgerald," she growls. He didn't move an inch but Miss Rose knows him ALL to well. He nods. "But if Peter were to find out from another family member, or someone in town, can you imagine how hurt he'd be then. You still have his friendship and trust after today. And Fitz has an ally when he becomes President."
"Ally," Fitz questions.
"Yes. Peter's family is just as important as yours in the Republican party," she explains. "The Bushes are of course first, the Grants, then the Caldwell family. After today, even though Peter is hurt, he'll still go to bat for you Fitz. He'll ensure no harm comes to Olivia no matter where she may be."
Fitz nods. "But Miss Rose he loves her."
"Yes very much. But loving Livy will help him find the love in himself to move on. Just like you both are learning how to do now. Sometimes you have to search for love in all the wrong places before you find it where it's been hiding all along," Olivia and Fitz both squint. "In yourself."
Olivia does not love herself but she is learning too, especially since Fitz has come into her life turning it upside down.
"Noni…,"
"Child once you find that love in yourself, you'll find it in another," Fitz blushes as his head buries into Olivia's shoulder as Miss Rose winks at them both. Olivia too becomes rather uncomfortable shielding her eyes from her Grandmother and Fitz. "I just didn't get off the bus Blue Eyes. I have had your number a long time."
"Yes Miss Rose," he quips.
"Good," Miss Rose exhales. She rushes them through the rest of breakfast, then helps Olivia for her therapy.
/
OP vs. PT
Olivia's Uncle Bernard wheeled her into her therapy session with two agents Fitz insisted go with her. She protested not seeing the need because no one knew they were a couple. Eventually she relented realizing the agents would be a part of her life from now on. But they were not allowed into the therapy room with her.
She entered the rather large room, while the agents stood outside. Jackson greeted her immediately. "Hey Miss Liv."
"Hi Jackson," she smiled as she wheeled over to where he was waiting for her. They exchanged a few pleasantries while he looked over her progress. Once he was finished, he placed her folder on the table then they got ready for their first exercise. "Um…,"she interrupted before he got ready to move her onto the exercise mat.
"Yes?"
"Have you thought about what we discussed last time Jackson. This is something I really want to do," she explains rather bashfully.
"I have but are you ready. Dr. Shepard still needs to approve it Liv. He mentioned the first part of our discussion before. You turned him down. But I believe once he's checked on your progress it could be possible. I think you have been for a long time why now," he inquires. "You never explained you're reason for your all of sudden interest."
She couldn't just tell him she was dating the next President of the United States and he wanted her at the Inauguration and the Balls afterwards. "Because there's this BIG Party I would like to go too. I just don't know if I can, or if I'm ready. Actually I'm terrified because of the amount of people that will be there and watching my every move."
Jackson sits closer to her. "There's a special someone now isn't there. This is a date you're going on right?"
"Yes," Olivia blushes. "Well I guess it is date. A very big public date," her heart beats rapidly as she speaks these words.
"In order for me to clear you, I need more details. When is this big shin-dig you'd like my permission and Dr. Shepard's to attend?"
"January 20th," she meekly replies.
"January 20th," Jackson recites realizing the importance of the date. It's NOT just any day this year. The Nation is eager to watch the Inauguration of President-Elect Fitzgerald Grant III. Yes they are in Vermont, but the Balls will be all over the TV that evening. Jackson voted for him truly believing he's a great man. "Olivia where is this date?"
"It's not local. I'll have to travel," is all she responds. "There will be someone with me Jackson. I won't be alone. I told him NO as of right now."
He thinks about her words. Where in the world could she be traveling too? He is aware her Grandmother's Bed and Breakfast caters to many politicians. Could it be Mrs. Rose Pope finally accepted an invitation to attend some party with Olivia at her side? It is known through their town Miss Rose never travels far. She is always with Olivia.
"Your boyfriend, he understands you fully," he chooses his words carefully. In Jackson's mind Olivia can do anything.
"Yes. I want to be stronger for him. I HAVE to be Jackson. I don't even know if I'm ready for something like this. I am scared to death of what Dr. Shepard suggested. I want to go – to be there holding the bible - he needs me – but a small part of me doesn't think I can do it. Not without…," Jackson hears the desperation in her words.
"Hold the bible," Jackson inquires. "Who would you be holding a Holy Bible for?"
"That would be me," Fitz answers. Jackson instantly stands up shocked to see the Nation's next President standing in his therapy room. He glances behind him realizing she came with the Secret Service. Olivia lights up seeing Fitz with a huge smile on his face. He quickly strolls to Olivia.
"Hi Sweetheart," he leans down kissing her gently.
Jackson's mouth drops open. "Miss Liv you're dating Fitzgerald Grant – our new President."
"Yes," she sighs as Fitz and her link their hands. "Fitz is my boyfriend."
Fitz steps forward to shake Jackson's hand. "Nice to meet you…"
"Oh pardon me Sir. I'm Jackson Avery. Olivia's therapist."
/
Did she just say "Avery!" As in Jackson Avery from Grey's. (Yes!) Yes the very same. And of course Dr. Shepard is McDreamy. Will you actually see him make an appearance? You'll just have to wait and see.
I realize there was a lot of Peter in this chapter but this talk – conversation had to happen for Olivia and Fitz to move forward. He was a big hurdle for them and an important one. I did my best to portray it from ALL angles. But the question now I ask is Peter gone, or will he fight Fitz for her?
So I ask to please keep an open mind and leave me your thoughts on your way out. As always they keep me going, and eager to post the next installment.
Thank you for reading,
Me's