A/N: Hello all :D, you fantabulous people you! Somehow this story is still somewhat popular and I have each and everyone of you to thank for that, so I will just hug my laptop like a moron and say thank you to the screen. I'm channeling my inner Darren and hugging the camera :) Please excuse any errors in this because I was really cute just then when I hugged a piece of technology to feel closer to you all ;)

Anyways, this chapter is rated M because well, it's been too long and it was needed *eyebrow wiggle* Lets just say there's some fluff, some great friendship moments and some much needed reconnection in all aspects. You guys were great in suggesting your opinions on how this will end and I am happily doing a bit of both, some current events and some flash-forwards in upcoming chapter(s). I love you all, and thanks for sticking with me and reading my imagination come to life, even if I own nothing beyond that imagination.

Oh and yes I dove into Sebastian's subconscious again here...ooooh creepy lol

xoxo

Close To Home

Chapter 20

(SPOV)

The sweat was pouring off of the both of us. I guess it was pouring off of the others in the adjacent studio as well, but I had only been focused on the brunette beside me as we ran through routines repeatedly for the last few hours, and god was this man a machine. I had often wondered how he stayed in such great shape before but now that I understood more about the man, in almost every way except physically, I finally grasped the severity of the situation. He had wanted this for himself secretly for so long that he had kept himself in shape just in case his subconscious allowed it, and now that he was finally in the head space to allow the performer in him to shine, he definitely was taking his craft seriously.

"Kurt, we've done this like a hundred times, we could probably dance it in our sleep."

"Come on just one more time, I think we could make the last turn more dramatic and I'm not feeling it."

"Kurt in all honesty I'm gonna be feeling this for days man, and for once that's not a dirty comment, my thighs are killing me, but come on man, we've got this. Besides it will be completely different once we get to the theatre tomorrow. We'll need to establish markers and shit, Artie and you get to have arguments for control which I will happily watch, so why are you insisting I dance myself into the ground today, when you might need me alive tomorrow?"

I stopped the music in the corner by the wall and went to grab a water and a towel. I had honestly drained every last drop of liquid out of my body through sweat, I think I had even lost my urge to piss at this point.

"Come on Bas, just one more.."

"No! Enough Kurt I'm literally putting my foot down, fuck putting my body down about this." I flopped on thew ground dramatically even though I knew lying still was the worst possible thing to do for cooling down, but I was drained and he could suck it, he needed to calm down and let his muscles rest too.

"I think my eyeballs hurt Kurt, you can't be far off neither..." I looked over at Kurt and yeah, he definitely looked exhausted, especially now that the fire like gaze of his had lessened as he ran his hand through his hair as he stood there panting.

"What's this really about Kurt, why the dance Nazi? We need to rehearse sure, but this wouldn't happen to be about you giving up your directing reigns would it?"

Kurt looked appalled that I would even suggest such a thing but even as he responded I knew there was a glimmer of truth resonating from my statement.

"I do hate not being in control, I miss my director's chair like I miss my vintage Jimmy Choo's, but I also love things perfect...and I just...I need..." Kurt huffed and sat down cross legged and drew his knees up and rested his folded arms there as if he was curling up on himself, literally.

"Hey..." I scooted over to him, doing my best impression of a dying worm which made him laugh. Mission one accomplished. "What's really the matter gay-face?"

I know that from another person's point of view this sounds derogatory, and yeah it probably was, but him calling me Meerkat or CW or Sebastard was just a standard retort. We could have said buddy or bro all we wanted, but this seemed to be our thing as odd as that fucking was. It sucked being a goody two shoes and I guess this was our rebellion from acknowledging our actual friendship.

Unfortunately Kurt just hung his head on top of his folded arms and sighed looking down at the floor. Wow not even gay-face got him really going, this must be serious.

"Have you spoken with Blainers recently?" Might as well bite the bullet that I was sure had to be the actual reason for his inner turmoil, it always seemed to be as of late.

Since Kurt had gotten back from seeing Blaine just over three weeks ago he had been in a better mood honestly, especially the night he came back where he was singing songs about rainbows and cotton candy coated kittens or some other shit. Let's put this into context shall we?

That night Kurt had called me and begged me to meet him downstairs at Kevin's where I thought I would have seriously alone time with my well...boyfriend (still sounded weird to me too), when he got back to midtown. I told Kevin I would be a few minutes with Kurt and he said it was no worries but what I hadn't expected was a completely smiling Kurt who hugged me like we were long lost brothers. He raved for a few minutes, thanking me for helping him which was pretty awesome to see and hear, and then he kissed me, not like that, more like a friend who just couldn't hold back his emotions. Actually it was exactly like that. He had been super duper sickeningly happy, and Blaine had approved of him playing Michael, which was putting it mildly.

But since then, Kurt had spoken with Blaine daily, even for just a few seconds he says, just so they could reintroduce themselves again, and he seemed genuinely happy. Although in recent days and especially during rehearsal he had gotten restless. Blaine had had a few bad days in rehab which resulted in him wanting to stay an extra week. Kurt had tried to blame himself by adding the extra pressure of the impending show onto Blaine's shoulders, but we all knew that it was Blaine just dealing with everything. Everyone had up days and down days, and Blaine felt it was better for himself to remain there for another week.

He had actually hinted at it when Wes and I (real New York cheeseburgers in tow), went to see him a few weekends ago. He had said over a mouthful of burger that he wanted to complete an extra week because he knew he might need the extra support before diving back in to his normal life. We all understood but Kurt had been so excited to see Blaine that he felt bad instantly and had slowly become such a work driven maniac that it was hurting us...all of us, like seriously my calves were screaming like a queen at Mardi Gras.

On a side note, Artie had done a bang up job in my opinion at organizing the show and taking the reigns not-so-willingly from Kurt, but around Kurt's and Santana's high school friend, the atmosphere seemed to get more and more well oiled like the machine that a production needed to be. We were ready for rehearsals at the Hirschfeld, and it was an exciting prospect, but Kurt seemed less than enthused about his Broadway debut as an actor and more worried about his boyfriend's return tonight. Hence why I bit the bullet and brought up the stunted pink elephant in the room also known as Blaine's return. Kurt knew I was right on the money, and had finally learned to accept my awesome stress detector.

"Yeah, he called me this morning, said he wanted to take the train back to think. Said he would come over to mine if I wanted, but I said that maybe it would be good to be in his own surroundings ya know? He seemed a little sad by that but he said he l-loved me and that he would be fit as a fiddle to go see the theatre with us tomorrow at 10 am. I'm just frustrated, in like every way. So yeah I just...I dunno anymore, we're fine I just wanted to get this sequence right..."

"Kurt has all that hairspray you use on your head permeated your skin to affect your brain? The sequence is perfect just the way it is, we'll be ready to..."

Kurt stood up, "To what? Show Blaine? Show New York? Or just good enough for between friends?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, is that what you're worried about? Blaine? Of course he'll love it, we work awesomely together and the angry sexual tension is real baby." I snaked my hands around his waist as I got up, which he tried really hard to not snicker at and batted me away.

"Yes Blaine. Do you think he'll like our interpretation? And god if he hates it, then what will New York critics think? I just don't wanna disappoint.."

"Oh my god! Kurt Hummel is nervous! Call the press, inform the media, Mr. Hummel exclusive on his first case of the jitters. Kurt tell everyone how does it feel?" I pretended that the water bottle I was holding was microphone and held it to his face. If Kurt could have glared a hole through the plastic bottle this was where it would have happened.

"It's not funny Smythe. New Yorkers don't like newcomers, they like seasoned professionals and not one's from another field of the arts. I turn 30 Seb, fucking 30 on opening night and well...I just want Blaine's work to be represented perfectly and not have it destroyed by a 30 year old newbie like me. I owe him that much. And then what after? Do I get to hold my boyfriend, be with him what...I'm just so.."

"Frustrated?"

"Yeah."

I leaned over and for some reason he let me do this, but I wrapped my arms around his shoulders from behind hugging him and holding him like he needed it. I knew as well as he did that our relationship was supremely fucked up but he was my best friend's boyfriend, my on stage lover now ( we had gotten past the initial eww of that particular since we were both professionals), and he was also my oddly paired friend and partner in crime. Where Blaine had Wes it seemed that Kurt had me...we were a really fucked up but newly content group of friends. I just hoped that Blaine would be okay with Kurt's and my friendship, he did always want us to get along didn't he? I guess we'd find out soon.

"I'm only going to say this once, and god don't make me repeat myself, but I fell in love with your voice the one night at regionals in high school. Blaine loved your voice but I was smitten with it. And then on Christmas, well, you don't have to hear it from me but that night Wes and I saw something shine in you Kurt. You're amazing and the fact that I get to work along side you like this, is an honour. We will do our little Blainers proud."

I swallowed the bile that this sentence brought up, but who was I kidding, it was mostly my pride that I was swallowing, Kurt was amazing, and I had to be the bigger man (no pun intended even though my brain went there), and tell him how it was.

"Bas...I, really?" Kurt sounded as humbled as he looked when he turned out of my grasp to look me in the eye.

"I wouldn't embarrass myself like that if I was lying Kurt. We're gonna be great, plus we're both hot so...seeing us make out on stage will be quite a treat for the audience." I winked and Kurt slapped and hugged me, fully laughing and sounding a lot more carefree.

"Thank you Seb, what the hell did I ever do before I had you?"

"You took your advice from an angry Hispanic closeted lesbian? Santana may be a great friend when she isn't shooting death glares at people and plotting revenge in her sleep but she lacks my..."

"Awesome factor?" Kurt had let me go then and quirked an eyebrow at me challengingly.

"See, you're learning Hummel."

Kurt's phone went off a second later and from the annoying chipper beeping I could tell he had an incoming text, probably from Blaine.

"Go get it Kurtsie, you know you'll shake with horny anticipation if you don't." Kurt stuck out his tongue and almost skipped over to his bag, allowing a smile to cross his face as he looked at the message, so he read it aloud as if he knew I was begging for details with just my eyes.

He read, "It's so good to be home, thank you for cleaning up and organizing. I know it was you, my mail is stacked chronologically ;) I miss you, I miss being here with you., I just miss being with you in every way. I can't wait to see you tomorrow, coffee in the morning, just like normal? oxox love you - B"

I had decided to lay back down on the ground to listen to Kurt read it aloud, mostly because my legs hurt like fuck but also because I wanted to lay on my stomach, kicking my legs whilst leaning on my palms pretending to swoon. And mock swoon I did as he finished reading the message and then typed out a short reply.

"Oh Blaine...I miss you and your short and curlies too." Okay so maybe the squeaky voice wasn't called for but Kurt laughed so I count that as a win.

"Oh shut up Bas, I do not sound like that! And for your information Blaine man-scapes, it's just the shortest trail right from his belly button all the way to.."

"TMI...La la la la la not listening!"

"Can dish it but can't take it huh CW?" Kurt seemed to forget his minor melancholy for a second as he smiled at my silence and at his phone message again. He was such a child sometimes, but he was a complicated one; so I decided to test my knowledge of him further because I knew that he needed this. I gathered my bag and slung the strap over my head to rest on the opposite shoulder.

"So, are you going or not?"

"Excuse me? Explain."

"Are you going to Blaine's or not? And don't give me that 'I'm not invited shit' because Blaine would want you there even if its not for a happy times rub and tug."

Kurt paled a little at that so I tried to rectify that I meant no harm but he beat me to it.

"We've been trying to take things slow again Bas. Yes we've been, in the past I mean, well of course we've had...oh fuck it we fucked like rabbits and its been insanely good but honestly it's really like we're starting over again and taking it slow. God I want that again but I don't know if I should even be thinking like that. I've seen him once in just over a month, and well, I just don't wanna screw this up and take things too far. I want him to take control of what he wants from this relationship."

That's it, time to step it up a notch.

"Why? Since when does Kurt Hummel let anyone take control of what he wants?" Kurt eyed me like I had slapped him in the face.

"Look K, I love ya, you're insane and judgemental, fashion forward and a talented shit with a hot ass. And Blaine, well I would have loved to tap that tush long ago but that ship has sailed and is half way around the world currently docked on Hummel Isle. Blaine's charismatic, beautiful, a musical mastermind in his own rite, and completely head over heels in love with that crazy bitch I mentioned first, namely you. And as you so eloquently put it, you're almost 30, stop being a teen drama queen and go over and hug that man of yours for finally being brave enough to fix himself. You don't have to play tickle sticks with him as soon as you walk in, but hold the guy and never let him go. Don't let him have all the control Kurt, that was your problem before. Do it together this time."

I know, I know I'm a genius. The hug that Kurt gave me after this little speech was his silent agreement of that statement. See...people were finally starting to understand the awesome, you know, once they got behind the wall of sleaze..oooh I should make a t shirt that says that.

XXXX

(BPOV) -an hour prior

"So you'll be alright?"

I had walked through my doors not really anticipating all that much, but the nostalgia I was hit with was unfamiliar and familiar at the same time. It was like I was literally stepping back into my old life; which had seemed like so long ago.

Wes had shown up at Clear Shores for my discharge, despite me telling him not to and that I would take the train, but my best friend and writing partner had literally told me to shut it and get in the car. Wes had rented the car for the sheer purposes of picking me up so what kind of jackass would that make me if had all but refused an offer like that?

The drive had been comfortable, and Wes seemed to know that as we approached the northern city limits that my demeanour had changed as I became stoic. The gentle conversation between us had stopped but it wasn't awkward, it was slightly serene. Tomorrow we were due to open the Hirschfeld theatre for rehearsals in the late morning and I was glad that I had taken the extra week, I had felt a lot calmer making a decision that large for myself before taking on my life responsibilities all at once. I had needed the breather on my own terms.

I had called the restaurant a few days ago and told them that as much as would like to continue being an employee there, and as much as I had learned, that I would not be returning. Charles had been upset saying that he had valued the trust we had shared and to call him if things didn't work out wit the show, but he gave me his sincerest regards that I was well again and that should I ever need anything to give him a call. Charlie had become like an uncle of sorts to me, he didn't hold the closeness of a brother but seemed like family enough that his support meant a great deal to me.

Wes and I had listened to his mp3 play lists as we got deeper into the belly of the city and thankfully the tracks were all light, allowing my mind to drift in silence despite the roar of the late winter wind outside and the constant hum that always filled the city streets, keeping us blissfully drowned out.

It was only once he helped me carry one of my bags upstairs at his insistence did we talk again. I ignored the fact that he was double parked outside because what kind of douche bag cop would ticket a man in -15 degrees Fahrenheit? Okay maybe an NYPD officer who's stuck working in -15 degrees, that's who.

He asked if I would be alright as I wandered around my apartment and took in the pristine feel of home, something I hadn't felt in so long it would seem.

"I'll be just fine man. It really is good to be home." Wes walked over to me and did something that almost made me want to cry. He put one hand on the side of my face near my neck and held me there for a good few seconds. This was the man that had picked me to be his best friend, the wise old owl above and beyond his years that always seemed to have the right words to say and the right advice to give. Wesley was truly my other half without the sexuality factored in. We would grow old together but in all the years I had known him he had never seemed so broken than in that very minute holding my neck like a lifeline.

"Don't scare me again Blaine. Please. I felt like I was losing you for so long. How would my words ever find there music if you left me."

I bowed my head so that our foreheads were touching. He had and will always be my rock, but I hadn't known how close I would be to loosing my reality until I heard Wes say what he just said. He was and would forever be my brother.

"I'm sorry...Wes I..."

"Shh, thank you for coming back to me." He leaned up and pecked my forhead quickly before slapping the side of my neck roughly and letting me go.

"S'good to have you back Blainey-Boo!" He moved and walked away from me but I could tell there were tears in his eyes, the same ones that wouldn't meet mine. He left me standing in the middle of my living room smiling and so undeniably happy that I had someone like him in my life, and hopefully for the rest of our lives.

"We speak not of this emotional breakdown...gotta keep the bad-ass image up right?" Wes wiped his eyes as he said this before buttoning up his jacket.

"Scout's honour. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow Blaine, I love you you know that right?"

"I love you too...ye old hag of mine." I knew he would appreciate the ice breaker, mostly because he did calm and collected far better than letting his emotions show. He took the out and ran with it as he left the door.

"You know I'm a bitchin' hag B, call me later."

"I will, bye man." With that he left, closing my door softly.

I stood there for a second and let the warmth of the apartment and oddly tender moment I had shared with my best friend soak in. Wes had been so straight up and unforgiving with me since I had been admitted, and that was something that I was truly thankful for. But tonight, even that one sentence had me floored with how much he truly cared, and it baked me in a warmth that I hadn't felt in my home in so long.

I looked around the apartment and decided that I firstly needed a hot shower, and that I would maybe make some home-cooked food later on. Tonight I would need the comforts of a life that I hadn't been able to enjoy the last month, and the time before that, I had shunned for my own self pity.

Instinctively I grabbed my phone and sent out a message that I promised I would send, and I smiled at the honestly and happiness that it made me feel.

It's so good to be home, thank you for cleaning up and organizing. I know it was you, my mail is stacked chronologically ;) I miss you, I miss being here with you. I can't wait to see you tomorrow, coffee in the morning, just like normal? oxox love you - B

Personally I would have loved it if Kurt was here right now, and I know that we said we would relearn each other slowly but even as I moved my bag to the bedroom and meticulously grabbed some clean clothes for after my shower, I kind of wished that I had Kurt to hold like I had all those weeks ago, it would just have been the perfect ending to me coming home again.

XXXX

(KPOV)

Okay once last little touch, yep bed head it was going to be tonight. I couldn't get the coif to stay no matter how hard I had been trying, so needless to say I had gone for artful disarray when I had been getting ready at home.

Also I couldn't tell you why I was damn nervous neither, it was only Blaine. I mean yeah it was Blaine, the man that I would fight for tooth and nail, the man that I would literally crawl to the ends of the earth if it meant one more day with him, he really was my everything. So I guess there was room to be nervous but I guess the biggest and most nerve wracking thing about tonight was that I would be surprising him, and it was those nerves that had fuelled this panic attack over my hair. The last time I had surprised him at his apartment had...not gone well.

I had decided on simple tight dark stone wash jeans, a silver button up and my blue wing patterned jacket. Top that all off with the blue and black McQueen scarf I loved and my ring clad docs and I figured that the look was stylish enough to pass for an evening at home. Who was I kidding? I was dressing up like a school girl because I wanted to impress Blaine. I didn't know what to expect so looking my best was always an option right?

I wore my white trench because it had been a no brainer with this outfit, but it had been the first time I had brought out the Burberry garment in Blaine's presence, and honestly it was a bold choice, and thankfully with the layers I would be warm enough, and good god...why was I flustered getting dressed? Get a hold of yourself Hummel?!

I left quickly and after a short stop close to Blaine's apartment, I found myself scurrying up his street, looking at The Hallow as I walked passed it in fondness and sadness combined, before heading up the front stoop and pressing Blaine's buzzer.

I waited bouncing on my heels for a few minutes before getting impatient and pressing it again. This time the door unlocked without hearing Blaine's voice call down to the lobby, but I took the easy out and walked inside the much warmer building.

The familiar smell of even the staircase made me smile, it had been too long since I was here, and even longer since I had been here in a good frame of mind. God I hoped he knew that it was me buzzing in, and that he wanted to see me even for a short time, because I would have hated to cause him any distress and so soon from being back in his old life with a new frame of mind.

I knocked on the door once I had climbed all the stairs, and I waited for an answer because I felt like using a key on the apartment door was a little rude for someone that wasn't even invited. I used my one unoccupied hand and knocked again, this time waiting for only a few seconds before I decided to try my hand on the knob. Surprisingly it opened easily.

"Blaine!? Blaine, it's me Kurt. Sorry for barging in...Blaine?" The room was softly lit by a few candles sitting on the coffee table, and the entire apartment just smelled so much like Blaine, almost like he had never left. The only problem was that I couldn't even see him.

As I closed the door but kept my back against it not wanting to interrupt anything, I just called out to him again warmly.

"B? Honey?"

Blaine poked his head out of the kitchen window with a huge smile on his face and I nearly fell over with just his sheer beauty.

"Hi babe! I'm so glad you're here. Hang up your coat, come on you shouldn't be so timid, you know where to put your stuff. Just gimme a sec and I will be right out."

Well shit.

XXXX

(BPOV)

I turned back to what I was doing and let Kurt stew in the living room for a second and replied to Sebastian's text.

Thanks for letting me know he was coming by dude. He looks totally shocked that I don't seem phased by him being here, but honestly I'm freaking out. You don't think it's too much, the candles n all? - B

I ran my hands across my recently shaved face and Bas replied quickly.

You're welcome by the way, and NO its not too much, just go get him. Kurt's worried and he needs you, you're healing and need him. Why am I, the guy who until recently was allergic to relationships playing cupid for you two love birds? WTAF, you love him, tell him. When all else fails you can strip for him and get down and dirty on that huge couch of yours...then I can see if those nanny cams I set up in your house were worth it ;) - S

I don't even know if you're kidding sometimes Sebby. OK, I'm going, wish my luck?- B

You don't need luck, you have each other...Oooh I'm on a roll tonight! Take sexy mental pictures and make sure to give me details later. Kevin says hi, although I'm not sure why he's waving...loveable moron. - S

Did you say love Sebby? ;) - B

Shut it or I will shut it for you. Love you Blainers, ttys xo...and get the fuck out of your kitchen you chicken! - S

Bastard knows me too well.

Love you too...psychic jerk lol xoxo - B

I put my phone away and grabbed the guitar that was sitting by my fridge which I had rested there, waiting for this moment. He had tried to surprise me so many weeks ago and my disinterest with life and his heart had nearly cost me everything, so now it was time to return the favour.

I straightened my back as a shouldered the guitar, ready to serenade Kurt like I truly wanted, when I was stopped by seeing the cutest thing I had ever seen in my living room waiting for me. Kurt had taken off his jacket and boots and was sitting with his scarf and blazer on still, cross legged on the couch like a five year old and was stuffing his face with the little tortierres that I had made and plated just before he got here.

Kurt looked at me in shock and I couldn't help but laugh at him as he tried to not look too guilty as he chewed really fast before he spoke.

"Oh god I'm sorry B. I love these things every time you've made them and I don't know why I'm nervous, maybe because you didn't know that I was coming and then I was here waiting for you and you didn't seem like you were shocked at all and you know I'm a nervous eater!"

Kurt had said that all in one breath and it was the cutest damn thing I had seen and heard in so long I let myself continue to giggle at his expense for a second.

"God I love you Kurt." And there it was, out in the open and his ramblings turned into a small but still nervous smile.

"I love you too B. That's why I had to be here, I missed you."

The song that I had chosen seemed inappropriate now that we had said that we loved each other without even the smallest touch. I still stood there with my guitar, originally waiting to sing Kurt a ballad of love and hope, but Kurt's silliness in general gave me a knew idea. It was an idea no less loving but the carefree nature of the tune from years ago made me smile and I knew it was perfect,and above all fun, something that we haven't had the chance to do in such a long time.

"I missed you too. I-I wanted to sing for you...would that be okay?" Kurt nodded and smiled, complete with teeth which I didn't see all that often, so it gave me courage.

Huh, courage, it was an oddly fitting word for our relationship as of late I thought.

Well you've done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing, we're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

At this point Kurt was smiling like a lunatic at the silly faces I was making as I scatted and literally do-wooped around the apartment, jumping on the couch for added measure at one point.

Do you want to, come on, scootch over closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I giggled as I hummed and Kurt could do nothing but clasp his hands together and hug them close to his chest. He looked on at me adoringly with so much love and happiness that I knew this song was completely perfect and just what we needed.

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
so please don't, please don't, please don't.
There's no need to complicate
'cause our time is short
This oh, this oh, this is our fate, I'm yours

After strumming the last chord and crawling onto the L shaped couch on my knees towards Kurt slightly out of breath, I was rewarded with the only thing that I could have wanted from him, the simplest kiss, a smile on his full lips, and a matching one in my heart. How could I have ever doubted my self worth enough to loose this beautiful creature?

"That was...ridiculous B...I loved it."

"I love you, come on lets have dinner." And that we did.

XXXX

"B?"

"Hmmmm?"

We were slightly tangled together, the sounds of my stereo in the background on low, the soothing sound of something from the 70's playing as cover to the raging wind outside my bedroom window. I turned to look at him, our faces just inches apart, but despite the semi awkward angle I just forced it so I didn't have to let any part of him go.

We had shed our day clothes, you know the ones that I had drooled over Kurt wearing and complimented him on repeatedly, and opted for some pyjama pants. I had said no shirts because firstly I over heated like a bitch, and two I wanted an excuse to hold him without many barriers. This was still okay for going slow ish right? I mean as Kurt had so eloquently put it the other week, he was well acquainted with my ass hole, why would this be awkward? I almost laughed at the memory but I was taken aback when I looked at Kurt as he spoke up.

"Is this okay? The fact that I'm really here, and we're ya know..."

"Half naked and cuddling? Yes this is more than okay. I'm glad that Seb talked some sense into you...well into us."

"I knew Seb told you!"

"Why else would I have planned to make your favourite appetizers and bring my guitar into the kitchen? I may be a planner but I'm not a mind reader, I'm still waiting on that particular talent to blossom Kurt."

"Funny. But really this is okay?" I moved so that I could lean on top of him half way and I brushed some hair out of his face.

"More than okay beautiful."

I leaned down and kissed him very gently once, letting myself hear his sharp intake of breath at my forwardness, and it only took a minute for him to relax. The second kiss he anticipated and waited for with an open mouth, and I craved the feeling of his tongue on mine. The wet muscle was just too intoxicating to resist, especially the way it tickled the roof of my mouth like it was now.

We stayed like that, eventually shedding the last barrier of clothing after some mild coaxing from Kurt that it was more than alright, as we continued to make out like teenagers again. Our hands were insistent on each others skin but it never went beyond the most caring caresses and never quite where we needed them. Now it seemed was the time to just feel.

It must have been an age of nothing but light petting and comforting words, it seemed like I would fall off the edge of the world with how good it felt to feel Kurt like this, completely sober and his body was just as willing as mine was. Slow, fast...did it really matter when it was Kurt and I? My brain was short circuiting faster than I would have liked, but all I cared about was making Kurt happy, and in result making me happy. We could fuck, pet, play or just comfort but it was getting increasingly hard to resit the temptation to have Kurt around me, in me or I in him, my body had missed his too, far more than I could even truly understood it seemed.

At some point Kurt ended up on top of me, and heat from his now hard length as it slotted next to mine was almost too good to be real.

"Blaine...are you sure you wanna do this...mmph" I silenced Kurt's protests with another kiss, pulling his hair like I remembered he liked and resealed out lips silencing any protests. It was then as I tasted him that I got the urge to taste more of him, all of him, but I had a better idea.

"Kurt...baby?" He had taken me leaving his mouth as a sign to start working on my ears, and he knew that although tiny, my ears were so sensitive that I sometimes forget how to speak when he breathed hotly against them or ran his teeth along their ridges.

"Turn around so I can taste you." I had never really wanted something so much in my life as I wanted to taste everything that Kurt was right this second. It seemed to take Kurt a few minutes after he groaned at my idea to pry himself away from where our bodies were perfectly locked together, so that he was straddling me, his ass right in my face and his large cock hanging thickly right in front of me.

I loved Kurt's ass, he had a performer's body, lithe but broad shouldered and his ass was so taught that you could bounce a fucking quarter off of it. I gave each cheek and appreciative smack, the second one harder than the first when Kurt took my cock in his hand and jerked me teasingly.

Taking it slow be damned, we both needed this closeness, and it seemed that neither one of us wanted anything more than each other at the moment.

Soon enough through moans and mewls, we both had our mouths full, me more uncomfortably but I found I loved how deep I could take him like this.

Kurt was humming and moaning around my dick, as he traced my sensitive head with his tongue before devouring me yet again, taking me deeper and allowing the head to brush repeatedly against the softness of his throat.

I sped up the bobbing I could manage at this angle while I rubbed his ass, spanking him swiftly and usually without warning, and we were both getting close if Kurt's squirming was any indication. Kurt's mouth was just so talented that I had to stave myself off so many times that I lost count, his tongue was just that fucking sinful.

I pulled my mouth off of him and I heard him whine, but I didn't let him get too many words out as he popped off me, before I grabbed his spit slick cock in one hand and spread his cheeks with the other. I licked at Kurt's gorgeously pink puckered hole, not being able to resist anymore.

Kurt wailed. He thought I was loud but rimming him always had Kurt come completely undone and that's why I loved doing it to him. I removed the other hand from his cock as I used it to spread his cheeks wider so that I could get more of my tongue in there to work him open.

I loved tasting him like this, feeling him at his most vulnerable and I drank it in. It only made it better when Kurt started sucking me again like he was dying for it, using his one hand to help jerk me off while the other very gently massaged the underside of my balls which were so sensitive.

I tightened my tongue up and pushed it passed the tight muscles, feeling them clamp down on me as I moaned remembering what that felt like on my cock.

"Oh god Blaine...just mmmph." Kurt went back to deep throating me with renewed enthusiasm, his whole body shaking at the pleasure I was giving him. I almost bucked up with such a force that it might have choked him to death.

We were both getting desperate, this had been built up so long for us both, so I decided to reach my one hand back down and furiously start to stroke his leaking cock as fast and with as many wrist flicks that I could manage while still licking incessantly over this rim, diving in whenever I wanted to taste. It was always more with Kurt, I just wanted more.

Kurt pulled off the second I knew he was going to come so I redoubled my efforts just to hear him literally scream my name, but I didn't work him through it softly, but I kept up the enthusiasm just to feel him shake as I hummed at the hot and sticky feeling hitting my stomach as I lapped constantly at his hole as he rode it out almost to the point of oversensitivity.

That's when Kurt literally lost control and took me in deep, fucking his face on me and allowing me to thrust upwards in earnest. I had been so close for so long that it only took a few thrusts and I let myself go with a loud groan.

"Fuck Kurt...fuck fuck..." He took it all as I leaned back on the pillows as I emptied myself into his waiting and eager mouth, as I massaged his ass where I held it, just so I wouldn't fall off this plane of existence, because good god it had been so long since I had come that hard and for that long. He swallowed repeatedly, long after I had finished releasing into his mouth as he forced me to bite my lip at the pleasurable pain.

With a teasing swirl of his tongue to the head of my cock which made me shudder violently, we managed to fall and crawl into each others waiting arms a few moments later. The sounds of the wind and the music mixed with our completely in sync but hard pants as we swapped ridiculous smiles holding one another.

This was one thing that I had always been thankful for with Kurt, despite the need to clean up most of the time when sex got messy, we both would revel in the closeness that we craved afterwards. We would feign ignorance to the stickiness and Kurt for once ignored the body heat and sweaty proximity that I could bring on occasion, in favour of just holding me, or in this case, letting me hold him.

We stayed like that for a long time, it may have been 3 minutes or an hour, all I knew was that our lungs weren't as strained and our body temperatures were no longer boiling.

"I love you B, that was unexpected and...well mind fucking." Kurt's voice was raw from the mild abuse his throat took but he was smiling so I knew I was forgiven, so instead we giggled at his lack of post sex brain filter. He was right though, it had been so long for us but it was worth the fuzzy happiness we now shared together.

"If you'd let me fuck your face any harder Kurt, I might have actually fucked your brain. You're mouth should be illegal, it's addicting, this is coming from an addict." I laughed and it was the first time I had actually made a comment about my status as an addict that it didn't sadden me, it was actually liberating even in joke form.

"Blaine you're addicting to me, all of you. I guess we've botched the idea of taking this slowly huh?"

"Just a little bit, but you know what? I could give a rip. I'm happy, are you happy?"

Kurt just snuggled into my chest, his one arm draped completely over me like a blanket.

"More than I ever have been."

"Me too."

Kurt gathering up his nerves to surprise me again tonight with an impromptu visit, and me channelling my inner war with myself over taking this relationship slowly, finally paid off when we just stopped thinking about it too much for once, and let ourselves just enjoy each other. Isn't that what's important in a relationship...just being with the other and wanting that close happiness? I felt right, this felt right, and it was a great way of welcoming myself back into my old life, only this time with some happier changes.

Kurt snuggled in a little deeper as his breathing calmed, and it matched my own.

"You ready for tomorrow B?"

"More than anything beautiful, more than fucking anything. Sleep tight."

"M'kay...m'nite, love you.."

But Kurt was almost already asleep by the time he finished that sentence. I stayed awake as long as I could because honestly this was the first night in so long that had been able to hold him while I rested, and I wasn't not taking the opportunity to look at him, even if it was little creepy, while he slept.

He had told me so many times in recent weeks that I was worth fighting for, and I had literally just put myself back together enough so that I could see that he was right. There were certain things in life worth fighting for...like a life.

Kurt was my life, my friends and my music were my life, and now that I had it all back I got a second chance to live that life to the fullest and I wasn't about to break that promise to myself or to the man that I loved. I couldn't find the words to say to him or the sonnet I wanted to write for him, so instead I found the only musical words I could whisper sing to him, as I turned out the light on another day that held promise for a future I couldn't predict.

"Come what may..."

So? Did I do okay? I'm a little nervous for some stupid reason about this one, it's getting so hard to know if I'm doing right by the story. Reviews are love and support.

Song was : Jason Mraz's I'm Yours....and of course the tiny snippet at the end was a segment from Moulin Rouge's : Come What May (but you should no that) lol