I don't own The Hunger Games. Oh, how things get turned around in my story. My intention wasn't for them to get into a fight, or for Katniss to reach out to Gale, but when I started writing Kat's POV, it just made sense for that to happen. My original plan was for Peeta to invite him down, but yeah, no. I realized it wouldn't sit well with her, and I think she also needed to recognize for herself that Peeta was right and start her own healing. Anyways, it's Peeta's turn to talk, so let's join him!
Peeta:
I wake up to Katniss kissing me softly and laying down a tray of eggs, toast, and tea. I feel so at peace, here with her, that I wish that we can spend the entire day just here. Before I can even suggest it, she mentions that she is heading out to her house to do some things for the day.
Yesterday was such a rough day that I figure it would be good for us to do something with ourselves for today and besides, I have something special planned for tonight. The thought of last night comes back into my mind and a shiver, almost like a jolt, runs through my spine. It was so hard to stop her, to stop myself, but I knew that it could potentially be a mistake to make that leap now. As much as I wanted to take that leap with her, I had no doubt the perfect opportunity would present itself. I also thought of her finally telling me in her way that she loved me. I had waited for that moment for what seemed like my entire life. I laid on my side, savoring the feelings that washed over me before I decide to eat my breakfast and start my day.
I go into my painting room, taking stock of what I have in there. There was one in particular I needed to grab, for tonight, but some others as well. I decided that I would work on some finishing touches and give them the time to dry before I moved them. I really hoped I was making the right move tonight and wouldn't set off an episode, but in my heart, I thought it would be okay. I start baking some things I would need for dinner tonight when my phone rings.
"Hello?" I answered, expecting Haymitch or Sae.
"Hey, Peg-leg, how's it going? They finally gave me phone privileges here." Johanna said through the other line. It was kind of comforting to hear her, given the events of yesterday. I decided I was not going to tell her about that because I really didn't think that she would believe to be the voice of anyone's sanity.
"Jo! I was actually going to write to you today, but you beat me to it." I told her.
"I will always beat you at everything. This shouldn't surprise you. Anyways, I heard about what's going on in 12 and I'm kinda surprised that Brainless would be cool with it." I almost wince at hearing her call Katniss brainless, but then again, nicknames are like a term of endearment with her.
"Actually, I haven't broken the news to her yet. The building is about halfway done, so there is still some time left for me to let her know." I feel guilty holding this back from her, especially when I am so proud of what I've done. If it is one thing I have learned over the last couple of weeks though is that everything has to be done in the right time.
"I miss all the good things. Any chance you can hold out for another week or two? I plan on popping over to 12 to see my favorite couple. I haven't felt the need to throw up in a while and honestly, it's been pretty boring here." I had forgotten how much Johanna loved chaos. I didn't think I would be allowing her to watch when I told Katniss the news.
"I may have to tell her by ourselves, but I know she will be happy to see you. Just let me know when you're coming in so we can have a place ready for you." I am debating on whether I should put her in either Katniss's or my home for the time she is here.
"You mean I can't sleep with you?" she asks jokingly. "I am sure that would cause quite the stir."
I laugh with her. "No, I definitely don't see that going over well. It's going to be really good to have you here, Jo."
"Yeah, I'm sure. Hey, how is everyone there?" I ask.
"Oh, just fine, sadly. Like I said, it's pretty boring here. Mrs. Everdeen has a job here in the hospital, but not here in the ward with me. Gale has moved to 2, a little bit after you left, actually. I think he has something to do with the military. Annie is back to 4, I think going to have her baby at her house. Other than that, it's pretty much empty here. I don't really get the updates and have to learn a lot by talking to Volts. You know how that goes."
We talk for a little bit longer before we hang up. I was surprised to learn that Gale had moved to 2, and debated on telling Katniss. Tonight was not going to be Gale discussion night though.
I saw Katniss leave her house, and I figured now was a good time as any to get started on my plans. I went over first and unlocked her door so I could make the trips over. It took a few runs, but I had everything placed upstairs. I ran home to grab the bread and wondered where she had run off too. I didn't want to start dinner until I knew when she would get home, though I knew I could start it and keep it warm until she came back.
I set everything up in our room here, in just a way that I wanted her to see it. I had the stew boiling on the stove, the rolls I had made in the oven. It was getting slightly dark when she came in, taking her shoes off at the door.
She came over and gave me a kiss. "Everything smells great. How was your day?"
"Oh, it was good. Jo called me and she plans on coming over to visit in a week or two. Do we want to set her up in one of our houses and just stay in one for the time she is here?" I asked her.
Katniss smiled at me as I set her bowl down in front of her and tossing her a roll. "I'm really glad she is coming. It will be both good and irritating to see her. I'm also glad that you mention the house thing. I have been thinking about something, Peeta." She paused to take a bite of her roll, dipping it first in the stew. "What if we just always stayed at your house?"
I stopped my spoon in mid-air. "You mean as in permanently?" We may have been sleeping in the same bed every night for the last few weeks, but neither one of us had ever really talked about living together as in sharing a home.
"Yes, as in always. I mean, we spend every night together. Why not just have a shared residence?" She seemed so nonchalant about it; like it was not a big step, which was very unlike her. There was something different about her today; she seemed happier, almost peaceful. "Are you okay with the idea? Is it too soon to think about?" She then looked at me, searching my face to see if there were any doubts about it.
"Did something happen today? This just surprises me." I wait for her to answer, but she just keeps eating. "Katniss?"
"No, nothing is different. I may have a job, though the details are still being ironed out. I will tell you about it in more detail when it's definite, which I think is fair, because you are clearly involved with something you aren't telling me yet. Look, Peeta, I know this is a big step, so if you aren't sure, or aren't ready, that's okay. I can certainly wait. It was just something I was thinking about on the way home." I could see her brows furrowed, confused, and clearly not giving her the reaction she was anticipating.
"Katniss, I would be more than happy to live with you all the time. Honestly, I think it's the best idea you've ever had. Is there any reason why you want it to be my house?" I really wasn't concerned with whichever house we lived in, as long as I got to share it with her.
"This was the house I shared with my mom, and Prim. There are still rooms here I haven't gone into. I am ready to leave it behind me; move forward, as you said." She looked slightly sad as she said it, and I knew it went even deeper. "Your house has always been a good place for me."
"Hey, Katniss. I have another idea. What if we take one of the other houses? Let's really start our lives together in an entirely new house. I mean there are 12 here, and only 3 are taken. That leaves 9 other houses that have no memories for either of us. This way too, we will have two fully furnished houses for when guests come." I could feel my excitement building. We were talking about a future, our future together.
"I think it's even better than my idea. We can furnish it together; really make it ours. You know, sometimes you surprise me with your brilliance." She tells me.
"As do you. This was originally your idea, but together we made it ours. Hey, when we are done, I have something to show you upstairs." She raises an eyebrow at me, which I laugh at.
"No, no, I have some things that I have made for you, and I want to give them to you tonight." We quickly finish our meal, and I take her hand and bring her upstairs. I stop at the bedroom door and place her in front of me. "Look, if this is too hard for you, if at any point, I want you to let me know."
She looks at me concerned. "Peeta, you went from exciting me to scaring me. What is behind that door?" she asks, slightly guarded.
I stop talking and open the door. I walk in first and feel her behind me. She sees the first one, the painting I did of us together on the blanket from the day of our first kiss. She sees the one of the lake, the one of her face right before she kissed me. "Peeta, these are beautiful." She whispers.
I sit her down on the bed. "There's one more I have for you."
"I don't know why you would think that this would make me uncomfortable. They are wonderful." She says, still with an air of disbelief.
I head over to the connected bathroom, which is an odd place to put a painting, but I didn't want it to be the first one that she saw. It would stand out from the rest, being so bright.
I come out holding it, but facing me. I see her on the bed, her eyes meeting mine, and I turn it around. When I do, her hands fly to her mouth and her tears immediately start flowing.
It was a painting of bright yellows, sunshine and flowers. Standing in the field was Prim, in a long skirt, blue shirt, slightly untucked in the back. Standing a bit more in the distance was Lady, her goat, grazing in the meadow. After all we had talked about, and the stories she told me, I felt like I knew her. I had always seen her, so her face wasn't one I could forget, but I wanted to capture her for Katniss, so she could have her with her.
"Katniss? Are you okay? Is this bad?" I asked, worried when I saw her start to sob. Maybe I had underestimated the impact and made her fall back into a deep depression. She stood up and came over to the painting. She reached out one hand, and gently touched Prim's face, almost as if by doing so, she could touch her. She seemed lost in the painting, almost like a trance. I decided to let her stand there as long as she needed, until she was ready to talk.
"Peeta, this is the most perfect thing you could have ever given me." She says through tears. I feel the relief leave me. She takes the painting from me and just holds it as she sits back down on the bed. "It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. This is how I remember her, almost exactly. How did you know?"
"I felt it, Kat. I could see her through you; by the way you talked about her, the stories you told. I could see her through your eyes."
She stood up and put the painting down against the far wall. "We'll pick the perfect spot to hang it in our house." She says, as she pulls me into her. I don't wait for her this time. I place my hand under her chin, lift her face. I wipe the tears from her face and bring my lips to hers. This time I show her my feelings through kisses; how much I love her, need her. My hand moves to her waist, pulling her closer, and her hand reaches to the back of my neck, her fingers entwined in my hair.
We move to the bed, never losing each other, holding each other tight. Our hands entwined, our mouths one. Tonight we dare ourselves to go farther than ever before, but not too far. Her hands run down my chest, touching my leg. Her skirt naturally falls up, and I can feel her bare leg against mine. I position myself over her, she gently undoes the buttons on my shirt, removing it. She can see the scars, from my time in the Capitol, and she kisses them as if she could make them disappear. I feel exhilarated, giving myself permission to forget everything for a moment, and just living in this moment. She lays under me, fully clothed, hair spread out, and everything I could ever want or hope for. I stare at her, and I see a blush move to her cheeks.
I know, inside, that this is still not the time, but yet it still so hard to pull away from her. Everything has its moment, and in deep in me, I know it is something that we both want. It was almost the perfect time, but I still knew that she wasn't quite as ready as I was. It couldn't be on a night where she was full of emotions for hurting me, or memories of people lose. I wouldn't feel right about it, no matter how right it felt now.
"Peeta? Is everything okay?" she asked me.
"I couldn't imagine a single thing being wrong." I told her. "It's just one of those times though where we need to stop ourselves before we go too far."
"Did we go too far?" she asked me nervously. It's true that tonight we did go farther than before; I had never felt her skin, never held her beneath me.
"No, no we didn't." I answered honestly.
She gave me a shy smile as she pulled me closer to her, kissing me again, this time gently. "Good. Not that I think I would mind." She said almost teasingly.
"Neither would I, honestly. I think though that there will be a time even better than this, and I want us both to be absolutely certain before we cross that line." I kiss her again and feel her bite my lip lightly. I feel a groan come from me, before I can stop it. She really was making it difficult to stop.
"You know what I am certain of?" she asks me, with a serious tone. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for the answer. "I am absolutely certain that I love you, Peeta Mellark."
When she says this, all my resolution dies. I kiss her, over and over, telling her I love her over and over, and hearing her say it back to me. I'm not sure what transpired in her day, but I was thankful for it. She slowly took her shirt off under me, so I could feel her on my skin, and I thought I could stay this way forever.
We did stop eventually, even if it was very hard to. It felt like one of the hardest things I had ever done, to remove myself from her and just lay next to her. We cuddle together, just talking and planning our next moves. We'll take a look at the houses, and what the stores have, so we can start putting together our house. As the other houses aren't taken, we figure we will only need a few days to get it ready to move in.
"Katniss, what if I have another episode?" I ask her seriously. I was concerned on what could happen if we were living together and it happened.
"Then we deal with it together. I'm not afraid of you, Peeta. I don't think we need to worry about that, and I think we can face it. We would have to eventually. You told me that I had to face my demons to move forward, and you need to remember that too. We can't ever move forward if we just focus on fears that may or may not happen." She whispers to me. Within moments, she is sleeping against me, and I hold her close. It isn't long before I join her and wondering how much longer it would be before I would be able to ask her to be my wife.
I seriously got giddy writing this chapter. I love them so much, it hurts. I am not going to lie, I am definitely over halfway to the end, and it almost makes me sad to have to give them up! I am bringing them closer together in a more mature manner, which I feel would be a natural progression for them, given all these feels and alone time. However, they are still mostly responsible, and the M rating will be going up I would say in about 3 or 4 chapters. I will have enough to write without getting them to this point anytime soon (we have some things to do, Peeta has more surprises, we'll have some visitors, so there isn't going to be much time for them to get all feelsy. Literally feelsy. As always, thank you to all who are reading this and taking the adventure with me. Your support means a ton, and I am glad you are sticking with me until the end. 3