A/N: Yay, 20 chapters! Many thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed or faved this story. I haven't had much chance to write lately, so I'm not going to be able to post as often as I have been. Sorry! But I promise in the chapters I have written (up to 25) there is much fun. And a puppy!
Chapter 20: Explanations
Sarah trembled, her face pale. "I d-don't think I can do all that," she stammered. "Being a protector, or a care-taker. I can't even keep my plants alive! Are you sure you chose the right person for the job? Don't you want someone… better?"
Jareth felt a spurt of anger and panic. He was losing her. This was what came from partial explanations. She had an idea of what would be expected of her, but couldn't fathom how she would do her job. Because she couldn't understand that he loved her, she had no notion of how he would be there for her, teaching and guiding. Did she not think he would care for her? He gripped her hand tightly.
"There is something you must understand, Sarah," he said sternly. "You already are the Heart of the Labyrinth. I chose you six years ago, and you have only grown stronger since. It's a lifetime position; there will never be another Heart of the Labyrinth until I die and my heir finds his Heart. You can go back to the Aboveground if you want, but you will never stop being the Heart."
She looked stricken. "But why me? I'm nothing."
He could no longer stand being apart from her. He reached out and pulled her into his lap. He could not speak words of love to her, to reassure her that she was far from nothing to him, but he could show her. She sat stiffly against him. He waited to see if her panic would set in, but it didn't.
"Sarah," he sighed, resting his chin on the top of her head. "You are not nothing. You have never been nothing to me." He could feel her drifting away as he strayed too close to declaring his love again. "You beat the Labyrinth. I don't think you realize how rare that is. In my time as the Goblin King, which is very long by your standards, only a dozen before you ever passed the Trial of the Labyrinth."
She looked up at him curiously. "I thought… you were the Trial of the Labyrinth?"
He paused. "I am. That is my title, as well as the Goblin King. But the Trial can also refer to the running the Labyrinth, being tested by it. The Trial was never meant to keep all people out, only those who are unworthy."
"Only a dozen people have made it through the Labyrinth like me? So only twelve people got their children back?" She tried to pull away from him, disturbed by his explanation. He refused to let her go, not until she understood her importance.
"It is true that I will take children who are wished away," he admitted, ignoring her efforts to get free. She wasn't trying hard enough to really mean it, so he didn't feel bad about holding her to him. So long as her panic didn't kick in, he would hold her forever.
"But I only take those that are wished away," he emphasized. "I don't steal children who are not entrusted to me by the right words. However, most people who run the Labyrinth don't do it for children. Anyone can enter the Labyrinth, at any time. If they make it to the center, they have proven themselves worthy, and the Instance grants them a boon, a wish if you will. Your boon was to have your brother back. Other people ask for a variety of things, though those with purely selfish reasons tend not to make it through. I asked for my uncle to be healed," he finished wistfully. Part of him still thought his uncle had made a poor trade, giving up his chance at health to make Jareth his heir.
Sarah twisted in his arms, no longer trying to pull away. "You ran the Labyrinth?" she asked incredulously.
He nodded. "I mentioned it before," he said, then paused as he remembered the circumstances around his telling. It was possible she had been too exhausted to recall it, or the scar had blocked it from her.
She nodded slowly. "Yes, I remember now. It just seems so strange, to think of you running the Labyrinth."
He grinned. "I was very young back then," he teased, and then refused to elaborate. "That's something else you need to understand. The Goblin King must always be someone who has already passed the Labyrinth. And the same thing is true for the Heart of the Labyrinth. By passing the Trial, both the Goblin King and the Qu—the Heart, I mean, prove they will fulfill their sacred duty to protect the Labyrinth and the Instance. With only a dozen candidates, my options were somewhat limited." He neglected to mention he had less than twelve potentials, as he would not have chosen a male to be his Heart.
"And you, my thirteenth victory," he mused, "That was an auspicious number, and I found your run to be… intriguing. You were brave and intelligent, determined to get your brother back at any cost." And I fell in love with you because of it. "After that, who else would I chose as my Heart?" He cursed his slip of the tongue, and paused as he wondered if she even heard him.
After a moment, she asked, "So when you call me your Heart, you mean that I am the one you chose to be the Heart of the Labyrinth?"
No. "Yes." Partly.
Again there was a moment of silence. He could practically feel Sarah thinking it over. He prayed she stayed with him. He didn't mean to spring everything on her, but he had run out of time to bring it up slowly. Maybe if he had protected her better, she wouldn't have been injured by the trolls and need weeks to recovery. He could have been more gradual then, and when he said, I love you, she would have heard and believed him.
Sarah's body warmed and relaxed into him over the course of several minutes.
"Okay," she said softly. "I'm not going to pretend to that I know what I'm doing, or even that I can match your expectations, but since you've already chosen me as your Heart, I'll try to do the best I can."
His chest leapt with emotion, and it was all he could do to keep from tilting her back and snogging her silly. She had no idea how much being his Heart really meant to him, but getting her to admit that small bit felt like an important victory.
"You'll help me, won't you?" she asked nervously.
"Of course," he murmured into her ear. He did not quite kiss her, but he allowed his lips to graze the top of her shoulder for a second. She shivered, her breath catching in her throat.
My Heart, you have no idea what you do to me, he thought, and, Now that you let me call you that, you will hear it very often. One day you will understand.
A peaceful calm settled around them. Jareth realized he had never been able to hold his Heart so close for so long, at least while she was conscious. "Does this bother you?" he asked curiously.
"No, it doesn't," she answered in surprise. Her fingers delicately flexed in his, reminding him of their constant contact. That sweet caress stirred his hunger. He reveled in her proximity, even as it was torture to hold himself back.
"And if I were to let go?" he wondered out loud. He slowly raised his hands from hers, giving her time to protest or hold on to him. She didn't. She seemed to realize the importance of testing her limits as much as he. The moment he lost contact with her skin, she lurched forward.
"Jareth?" she bleated in worry.
He didn't try to restrain her. He held himself painfully still, waiting to see if she could conquer this fear on her own. She was shivering again, but with a monumental effort, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"No," she spoke slowly, as if trying every word to make sure it fit. "I think it's still you. Your scent is there." She leaned back against him, turning her face to inhale against his shoulder. His muscles tightened with sudden tension. She tilted her face back, opened her eyes, and smiled at him. This time he did not ask for permission. He fisted a hand in her hair, held her in place as his lips descended on hers.
This was no chaste, simple kiss, but an outpouring of passion… on his side at least. His lips moved over hers hungrily, but she remained still and unresponsive. With a growl of frustration he forced his tongue past her lips, stroking hers, running along her lips, trying to provoke any reaction from her. Nothing. He might as well be practicing on his own hand for all the feedback she gave him. He ended the kiss abruptly, swiping his hand across his mouth. His lungs heaved for breath, but Sarah was unaffected.
"Jareth?" she asked in confusion. "Did I do something wrong?" Her eyes had that familiar glazed look that said she knew nothing of what he'd done.
Nothing. Everything. He was disgusted with himself for forcing her. She wasn't ready. At the moment, she couldn't even realize that he wanted her. And that wanting was a very dangerous thing too. If she had given in to his passions, he couldn't have said if he would have stopped. Would he have surrendered to his craving for her, only to see her terror afterward and feel nothing but indifference toward her?
"No, precious," he murmured. His arms shook as he held her. He needed her still, despite his desire to keep her safe and well. He was a cursed man. Abruptly he needed to move, to create a little distance between them. He took her hand, the touch of their bare skin joining soothing to her and arousing to him. He shifted her off his lap and stood. She remained on the ground.
"Can you stand?" he asked, remembering her kneeling on the balcony.
"Yes?" she replied uncertainly. "Or I could, but my legs are shaking."
He raised an eyebrow. "Why are your legs shaking?"
"I don't know," she admitted. So it seemed some part of her was affected by him, even if she didn't know why. She climbed to her feet a few seconds later. He started to lead her back to the Castle while she still had energy to make it, but she tugged at his hand.
"Please," she said when he looked at her, "It's such a nice day, and I haven't been outside for so long, can we stay out here for a little while?"
Of course, my Queen, he thought. "As my Heart wishes," he said with a private smile. They walked for a time across the green lawn. Sarah seemed content with the plain surroundings, but he wished he could bring her to one of the many gardens. Perhaps she would fancy a quick trip to the Labyrinth proper? He glanced down at her, and realized it was not to be. She tried to hide it, but she was leaning heavier on his hand, using his strength to support her. He stopped and faced her.
"Sarah," he began with an impish grin, "Do you trust me?"
She gave him a wary look, but her lips turned upwards. "Yes."
He dropped a crystal. They appeared in his bedroom. Sarah staggered into his arms. Teleportation by magic was disorientating for those not used it, which was why he chose to walk her to the lawn instead of teleporting earlier. He held onto her, waiting for her Labyrinth-sense to kick in and tell her where they were. He was never lost in the Labyrinth, because it was always aware of him. The same was true of his Heart, even if she didn't know how to connect to the Labyrinth yet. It took longer than he expected, and even then he could tell she was still somewhat confused.
His gaze fell on the bed. He remembered the kiss from earlier with a surge of heat. Sarah gripped his hands tightly, and the feel of her skin on his made him think of sultry nights under the covers. He shook his head sharply to clear it. He needed to control himself. Sarah was wavering, so he led her to the settee and sat her down. Of course, she was now on his sleeping area, which distracted him again.
Her stomach rumbled, and Jareth belatedly realized she had not eaten yet. He sent a crystal to the kitchen for an early lunch, and sat next to her. He reached out and took her hand again. Now they had established this contact, he was not about to let her forget it. She tried to tug free.
"Jareth," she protested with a frown. He gave her an almost-innocent look.
"Is there something you need?" he asked lightly.
She paused, then sighed. "No." She stopped trying to pull away from him. Oddly enough, he found himself wishing she would have asked for something just so he could provide it to her.
"So what are some of the duties of being the Heart?" she asked, settling back in her seat.
So eager she was to begin! Fear me, love me, do as I say, he thought, but out loud he said, "You visit the people of the Labyrinth, and see to their needs. You bring to me any concerns they might have." That would serve as a basic overview for now. He could go into more detail, like moving homes around, when she had a grasp of the magic involved.
"Okay, I can do that," she mused to herself. Something in her tone of voice stirred his protective instincts.
"You will go nowhere outside this Castle without me or a guard of my choosing," he said sternly.
Her head jerked back in surprise. Her nose wrinkled in distaste. He had the sudden urge to kiss it. She did not like feeling that her freedom was limited, but tried to be reasonable. "Because the trolls might try to get me back?" she asked, paling at the thought.
He could have agreed with her, but he was not cruel enough to make her think that was his only reason. "Because you are my Heart," he answered smoothly.
She gave him a confused look.
"You are my Heart," he repeated, and took a risk. "Mine. You are my responsibility, mine to protect." And to hold, and love.
Her confusion only deepened. "I thought… the Heart works for you?"
Blast the damn trolls for making this so difficult. Without the scar in her mind, he could have just told her he loved her, and that would answer a great deal of her questions. She might not love him back, but even mortals could understand how love was a great motivator. "It goes both ways," he explained. "The relationship between the Trial and the Heart… is not meant to be unequal. You do not work under me, but with me. You will help me in caring for the Labyrinth, but you have just as much right to call on me for aid and protection. And I will protect you, Sarah, whether you ask me for it or not. I will not compromise on this."
She huffed out a breath of frustration. "This is very confusing. That's not at all how a Seneschal works." She was frowning as she tried to figure it out. On her, it was an adorable expression. He resisted the urge to chuckle at her.
"You were the one that first brought that up," he pointed out. "I told you before that we are to be co-rulers." He knew instinctively she would not hear the word Queen if it passed his lips, but just maybe if she discovered it on her own… But she remained lost. He could almost feel the way her thoughts ran. In her mind, he was the Goblin King. The only person who could have an equal rank and power to him was the Queen, but that was where she was blocked. The relationship between a King and Queen was one of matrimony and love, something she could not comprehend of Jareth at the moment.
She sank against the settee, her sigh of vexation turning into a yawn. This time he did chuckle. "I think you are tired, my Heart," he said, drawing her to his side. He stretched out his long legs on the cushions, shifting her so she half-reclined against him. She murmured a protest, but it was weak. He held her in place until she relaxed on top of him. One hand held both of hers on her stomach, but he pressed the other to her forehead. He shivered slightly at the allure of her touch. Of course she felt it.
"Are you cold?" she asked, her voice slurring a little with tiredness.
"No, love, not while I'm with you," he replied in her ear. Concerned for her, though, he used his magic to pull the comforter from the bed and drape it over them.
"What?" she asked a little louder, and he inwardly cursed his lack of caution. The endearment slipped too easily from his lips.
"Nothing, my Heart," he soothed, his fingers lightly stroking her temples. She turned her head and snuggled against him.
"Feels good…" she yawned again.
"Rest now," he whispered, "I will be here when you wake." When she was half-asleep like this, her guard was down. She was not thinking so hard, and so she was a little more willing to accept his caresses. He rained down silent kisses on her hair as her body melted warmly against his. When the lunch tray came a few minutes later, it went untouched by either of them.