Chapter Twenty

Back at the compound after spending a night catching up with his brother, Cody was anxious, and cold despite being huddled inside Randy's coat. The wind was strong with a bitter chill that the midday sun couldn't even touch. He was resting against a tree, his arms crossed and his eyes flicking about the courtyard as the rebels gathered into yet another search party, including Justin.

He hadn't seen Justin since finding out about his betrayal but he didn't have a choice that afternoon. Michael and Chris had rounded everyone up for a brief meeting before the day's search and although Cody was eager to find the lost soldier, he wasn't exactly looking forward to doing it with Justin. Not after the bitch squealed to Zak. He despised Justin for that. Of all the horrible things he could have done he chose the worst and betrayed them both. How do you talk to someone who almost got you killed because they were jealous? Yeah, exactly, Cody didn't know either. He just wanted to slap Justin's teeth out of his mouth, so he stayed away and stuck to the back of the group. He didn't need that shit right now.

As Cody grew closer to the men he did his best to avoid Justin's gaze. His friend was standing beside Wade, clutching his arm as he looked over his shoulder at Cody, his eyes pleading for him for forgiveness that Cody refused to give. Why should he? Justin had ratted him out to Zak and it almost got Randy killed. Hell, it could have gotten Cody killed too, if Zak had been angry enough, and they were all lucky that he wasn't. So why should Cody forgive Justin just because the little bitch was sorry? Exactly. He shouldn't. Especially when Cody didn't give a shit that he was reunited with Wade and that everyone accepted him into the group. Actually, he despised him for it. The bitch betrayed Randy and everything worked out just fine for him while Cody was still in the dog house.

It was so unfair, and in some cases down right cruel. Especially when it came to sleeping, there was never a place for Cody. Every night he had to huddle up in Randy's coat and prayed that the fire didn't go out before the sun came up. There wasn't a soul who would let him stay with them and forget hunkering down at Randy's. That was out of the question since Jake had moved in while they were gone. Which was unexpected, but for some reason every accepted that too and just let him keep it, even Adam. But, whatever. Cody wasn't going to fight him for it. If Jake wanted Randy's house then he could have the damn thing, because Cody had something of Randy's that Jake never would.

Truthfully though, he didn't want to have to actually face Jake again. After their first couple of encounters turned sour he was doing his best to avoid a third, because the last thing he needs is that kid breathing down his neck about how fucked up he was for turning on Randy. As if Cody didn't already know. As if it wasn't tearing him apart every second of every day. So, no, he doesn't need Jake's shit right now. Which, you know, damnit, if they were working together they might have found Randy days ago. They could be with him right now. Instead they were avoiding each other because Jake was an asshole.

Cody would ask why but, he already knows exactly what Jake's problem is. The little prick wants Randy. That's what his outburst had been about. Jake's jealousy. Not that he blamed him. After all Cody would know best just how easy it was to fall in love with the lost soldier, but that didn't make it right for Jake to try and weasel his way between them, especially now. He needs to back off, because it was just a fight waiting to happen, which was sad because their feud would get them nowhere.

Especially when there were far more important things to worry about, like actually finding Randy. So far there hadn't been any signs that Randy was about to make his move but they knew it was coming. Randy was pacing himself. He was planning his attack, calculating his every move until he was ready to take the ship. Cody just wished they'd had better luck at finding him in the meantime because his heart just couldn't take another minute of the torture. He needed to know that Randy was safe so badly. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. Oh god if anything had happened to him, Cody didn't know what he was going to do.

Cody's heart ached as he exhaled and forced away another wave of shaky nerves. More than a week had gone by but no one was giving up. It wasn't from lack of trying. They had focused their attention to the parameter around the ship, searching every inch until they were too close and had to turn back. If they were spotted by the soldiers guarding the base there was no telling what could happen. Or so Chris had said. To be honest Cody thought he was kind of chicken-shit but, that was just him. The others didn't argue so, he didn't either. Besides it's not like it hindered the search, much.

The group suddenly broke off into their search parties and Cody once again found that he was alone. He shook his head. He wasn't surprised. Of course they didn't include him. The rebels blamed Cody for Randy's departure, and truth be told he blamed himself too. Which was fine and he accepted that. It's just that, he'd been hoping that someone would have warmed up to him by now, besides Michael. He thought there would at least be someone who would try to understand and see that he wanted Randy back just as much as everyone else, if not more. He was wrong. No one gave a damn about how hard he was trying or how much he cared for Randy. They didn't believe him no matter what he did and after a few days, Cody stopped caring. Fuck the rebels. They were entirely innocent in all of this either so, he didn't have to prove shit to them. He knew his heart was in the right place now, and that's all that mattered. So, like every other time, Cody will search without the rebels. He made better time doing it alone anyway.

Alone with just a pistol and a knife on his hip Cody traveled a safe distance away from the group, practically trailing behind the rebels until he reached the cliffs overlooking the ship. It was a dead end that the others had searched before, only Cody had the thought to go a little further, peeking over the edge and found a way down, sort of. He got down on the ground and started to climb over the edge. The rocks acted as his steps as he followed the only jagged path he could take down, headed towards a ledge jutting out from the side of the mountain. It was crazy and a complete long shot, but Randy was pretty resourceful and if there was a hole to hide in the soldier would find it, and so would Cody.

When he neared the ledge he let go, landing on his feet in a patch of grass with a soft thud. It was the perfect place to hide and watch the ship, the view was absolutely perfect. Randy must have come here. He'd have been a fool not to.

Cody turned around, examining the rocks of the mountain side, stepping closer. Damn. It was crazy but damned if it didn't pay off because right there, smack-dab in the middle of the rocks was a small cave. It didn't look too deep but Cody was careful as he stepped inside, afraid the ground would disappear beneath him. When it didn't and his eyes adjusted to the change in light he found it was safe to keep going. He ignores the big part of him was screaming that this was stupid as he continued into the cave, following a narrow pathway as it twisted around a tight corner. It was dark and damp, the air thick with the musty scent of soil and rocks, and it was utterly silent. Not a good sign. See, stupid?

"Randy?" His called as he squeezed around the corner and came out the other side. It was a dead end. Just a few more steps and he'd walk right into a wall. Damn. He couldn't believe it. His heart sank into his stomach as rushed out of the cave.

"Fuck." He let out a frustrated growl as he emerged, dusting himself off. He took one last look around and headed back up the cliff. Damnit, Randy. Where in the hell are you?

The journey back up was much harder than it was going down, but he made it, pulling himself up to safe ground within minutes. He hurried into the thicket, his eyes brimming with such disappointment. He'd really thought he was close to finding him. The cave had given him such hope…

Tears escaped but Cody swiped at his eyes, slowing his pace so he wouldn't trip but it was no use. He had to stop and cover his face with his hands, taking a deep, shuddery breath. His heart wanted him to cry but his head was telling him that he didn't have time. Randy needed his help, not his tears. So what good would it do him to break down now? He let his hands fall as he pushed the wave of emotions down into the pit of his stomach where it belonged.

He looked around the empty trail, swallowing hard. This was probably a waste of time but he has to keep going. Randy was running out of time. They all were.

As he walked he hugged the missing soldier's coat tight around his chest and almost burst into tears. It didn't even smell like him anymore. Fuck, nothing did. Not his home or even his bed. Randy's presence was fading fast and every day it was like he was losing him more and more, just like it had after Randy disappeared the first time and scared the hell out of him-

Something moved. It was just a flash of black in the bushes, just out of the corner of his eye, but it was there. Cody turned and froze, listening hard. Shit. Zak? Cody grabbed the knife on his hip and turned towards the commotion, his heart racing.

He didn't need it. As if by magic Randy emerged from the trees and stepped out onto the trail, turning away from Cody, his machete in hand.

Cody's eyes widened as he dropped his knife. He couldn't believe it. Randy didn't see him but Cody sure as hell saw Randy. "Randy?" He called to him and took a few steps towards the soldier without thinking. He was just so excited to see him he wanted to leap into his arms and kiss him with everything he had. He found him. Oh god thank you he found Randy still in one piece.

Randy halted and mentally kicked himself when he heard Cody's familiar voice call his name. Damn. He should have checked to see if the coast was clear. He'd done such a great job at avoiding the rebels, until now.

"Randy, wait. Don't go." Cody rushed up to him just as Randy turned around, and when he did Cody almost gasped. He looked awful. No, fuck that, Randy was fucked up. His eyes were dull, sunken in with dark circles beneath them that looked like he hadn't had a decent nights rest in weeks. His face was thin, the bones protruding around the edges of his jaw and cheeks. It made his lips look small, and almost pale. The sight broke Cody's heart.

He swallowed hard as he brought a trembling hand towards Randy's face, yearning to sooth the pain. "What's happened to you?"

Randy recoiled with a scowl. "Don't touch me."

Cody let his hand fall, because the nasty look on Randy's face told him he had better or he was risking the chance of not getting it back. He didn't blame him for being so angry, but that didn't make this any less terrifying.

"I'm-I'm sorry."

"Whatever. What do you want?"

"We've-we've been looking for you-."

"You found me. Now what do you want?"

"Well, I-I don't want anything." He paused to still his nervous stutter. "I mean, I do, but-."

"Spit it out. I don't have time to stand here and fuck around with you, hurry up."

"Listen, I don't think you're a monster." Cody jumped right into it. He had to explain and plead his case now or he may never get another chance. This could very well be it-

"I don't give a shit." Randy shook his head with a bitter glare as he resisted the urge to knock the Cody upside the head. He was done playing games with him. He was going the fuck home.

"Randy-."

"No. Fuck this place, and fuck you too."

Cody cringed. His instincts told him back down but Randy needed him now more than ever. He had to keep trying or he would lose him forever. The thought alone shook him to his very core.

"Please don't say that, Randy. We've been looking all over for you-."

"Why, what am I to be used for this time? Is there someone who needs torturing?"

"No! We miss you, and we just want you to come home. We-."

"Home?" Randy growled, clenching his fists. "This isn't home. My home is back in the states with my fiancé, not here with the likes of you. And what's this we shit? You're with the rebels now? Ha. Of course you are. Let me guess, you finally saw your brother? Good for you. You stepped on a lot of people to get there so you must be so proud of yourself. I bet you've never been happier." He looked Cody over with discontent, trying like hell to hate him. He failed, resorting to playing their last conversation over in his head and found the anger he needed. He was determined to chase Cody away. The bitch would just try to manipulate him again if he didn't. He lashed out. "You and the Zak deserve each other. I hope that he finds you."

Cody shook his head as he drew his lip between his teeth, chewing hard. He was trying to be understanding but it crushed him to hear Randy's harsh rant, especially when rejected the island as his home. Never mind the painful dig about Zak. There was something much more alarming going on that, truth be told, scared the hell out of Cody and left him momentarily speechless.

To Cody's horror it was as if they were right back where they started with Randy desperately clinging onto a life he hated, because he thought had nothing else. If only he would see that he didn't have to go back to that. He still had a home with the rebels. Damnit, it's where he belonged. He didn't have to leave, especially like this.

"I know you're angry," Cody's tone was soft and careful. God, please let this work. "I don't blame you, because you have every right to be. I said some really terrible things to you."

"I don't give a shit about all of that anymore. Fuck what you said." Randy responded as he returned his machine to his hip with a bitter exhale. "You and the rest of the rebels can eat shit. I just want to go home, is that too much to ask?"

"But don't you see? You are home, Randy. Damnit, this is where you belong. Not there. Not with the army."

"Christ, why can't you people just let me go? I left. That means that I don't want to stay here. That should be enough."

Cody shook his head. "I can't let you go. It's not what you want." He stepped closer, aching to touch him. "So no, it's not enough. Not when I know what your heart longs for, and that's to belong. You won't get that there like you will here, and you know that."

"I have always felt out of place here."

"I don't believe that, and you know exactly why. See, this is what I'm talking about. No one in the states will ever understand you the way that I do and you can't keep pretending that they will. They won't even come close to connecting with you the way that I do, because you're supposed to be with me, Randy. Not Samantha or anyone else. So you can't go back. You don't love her, and she doesn't love you." He took a risk with the jab but he couldn't think of anything else. He had to open that wound to reach him.

His idea backfired. Randy's eyes narrowed and before he could stop him the soldier was in his face, looming over him with a vicious sneer. "What did I tell you about talking about her?" He took Cody by the throat and slammed him against a tree, lifting him off the ground and brought them eye to eye. "Don't you ever say her name! Do you hear me? I swear to god I'll break your fucking neck!"

"Randy, stop!" Cody struggled for air as he clawed at the strong fingers around his throat. It was useless. Randy was just too rigid with rage that his hold was impossible to break.

"What do you know about love, faggot?" Randy hissed with a bitter squint, boring into Cody with both his fingers and eyes. "Don't use words you don't understand."

Cody's heart was gripped with despair, and not because he was being choked. "Faggot?" Oh god, Randy was even more mixed up than Cody thought. He was back to living in denial, hiding his true desires while he suffered and played the role of the man everyone back in the states wanted him to be. To put it simply, Randy had snapped.

"Yeah, that's right, I said faggot. That's what you are. Only you prey on innocent, lost souls like me."

"So you were innocent when you fucked me? You had no control over putting me against the rocks-."

"Shut up."

"You can't deny it. You preyed on me too, copping a feel whenever you had the chance, holding me while we were sleeping. You wanted it, Randy. You wanted me."

"I said shut up!" Randy screamed, blowing a fuse. He'd tried so hard to convince himself that everything he'd done on the island was out of his control that he actually believed it. Cody had manipulated him. He'd penetrated his mind and fucked with his head, turning him into a vile, shameful heathen who fell victim to the native's seductions. Yes, this was Cody's fault. So he choked him for it, watching close as Cody thrashed against his strong hand until his face turned an alarming shade of red and Randy yanked him away from the tree. He was done with him. This was it. "I'm only going to tell you this once, stay the fuck out of my way, or wish you had." He let go and looked on with a smug sense of satisfaction as Cody dropped to the ground.

"When you can, you'd be wise to pass that message along to the others."

Cody's gagged on the pain with Randy's warning ringing in his ears. He rolled, fighting to catch his breath as he lay curled on his side, holding his neck to help soothe the pain. It didn't work. He had to ride it out, coughing and choking, his body itching like mad until finally the oxygen reached his muscles and let him sit up with a painful gasp. He searched for Randy, his eyes struggling to focus as they blurred and shifted from the lack of oxygen.

Shit. He was too little too late. Randy was already gone.

Randy was following a previously marked path amongst the trees, his determination renewed. He couldn't waste another minute with the rebels closing in on him. The time had finally come. He was going home, even if it killed him.

He had everything planned out, starting with his entry point into the base. There were posted two guards there, and most of the time they had their minds on a card game rather than being on the lookout. Hence why he chose the right side of the beach to attack first, it was the weakest. It had the thickest tree line yet the easiest opening to sneak in and take over. No one would hear their cries, or find the bodies. The men would just simply disappear.

Well, not really. He'd drag them into the bushes, one by one until he'd killed them all and the ship was finally his. That was the plan. He just hoped the rebels stayed the fuck out of his way.

The base was a solid building made of imported white stone that served as the armory used to either protect the ship, or blow it up. It also divided eight large green tents, two soldiers posted outside each of them. They were lightly armed, their rifles pushed over their backs because the fools had become complacent in their work. Some were even distracted in a game of cards, a cigar tucked between their teeth as they searched over and picked out their hands. Basically they turned themselves into easy targets.

Randy took out the first two guards in seconds, moving with such grace and stealth he barely made a sound. He had that shit down to a science after spending days watching the ins and outs of the men. He knew exactly how, when and where he was going to kill them all. Forget sparing their lives, he couldn't risk it. Besides, they would shoot him dead without hesitation. He didn't have any choice but to take them out first.

The next set of soldiers weren't so easy because they were easily seen by the others. He cut his way inside the back of their tent and waited. He hid in the shadows until finally one came in, and then the other. He swiftly killed them with a single stab of his machete into their backs that punctured their lungs, silencing their screams. He dumped their bodies into the darkness before he moved on and did the same thing to the next tent, unaware that the rebels were closing in from the other side until he reached the armory and had to dive behind the building to avoid being seen as the guards rushed out with their riffles cocked and loaded.

Shit.

Gunfire broke out over the beach just as Cody shanked an officer in the stomach. He was quick, tearing away and continuing on without missing a step, on a mission. He didn't see Randy as he ducked behind a tent to avoid being shot, but he knew he was there. Cody pushed on, dashing from tent to tent until he was so close to the armory he could hear the men shouting from inside, their frantic voices telling him that they were completely unprepared for what was happening. Someone had made it in. He didn't see who but by the sound of it they had everything under control.

Still though, Cody crept closer, steadying his knife as he inched along the hard stone towards the front of the small building. Whoever it was might need help and even though he was already out of bullets, he was still plenty quick with a blade, and the risk was worth it. Correction, Randy was worth the risk. That's why Cody was doing this. The rebels were the ones trying to stop Randy from leaving. Cody just wanted to help him in any way that he could, even if the soldier was hell bent on going back to his fiancé.

Randy emerged from the building after eliminating the soldiers within, his machete dripping with blood. He put it away, scanning the beach for the last cannon until he found it and jerked back into the doorway for cover. Fuck. The only one that wasn't tipped over was the cannon closest to the ship, directly in the middle of the beach. It was out of reach, and thanks to the rebels all hell had broken loose, completely obliterating his plans and forcing him to think on his feet. Damnit. If he wanted to disarm the cannon before anyone had a chance to set it off he would have to run like hell, and just hope he didn't get shot before someone else reached the fuse.

He looked around once more before taking off, leaping off the steps into the sand. As he landed something caught his attention and he turned around just in time as Cody was dragged down to his knees by a soldier, the native trapped between his arms in a lethal headlock.

"Randy!" Cody yelped as reached for him, utterly panicked as he failed to free himself. The soldier started to twist his head around to the side, turning his jaw upwards hard. "Help me!"

As Cody cried Randy turned away to find the cannon, stepping towards it when he noticed a soldier making a run for it at the same moment. Fuck. Oh god, no.

Cody closed his eyes in despair, his neck twisted so painfully hard he couldn't even breathe. He claws at the soldiers hands around his head but still time seemed to slow to a stop, the gunfire dulling to just a muffled echo. No. Please. Not like this. He tried to escape but his fingers were slipping, his neck popping. He can't get free. Shit. Oh god. Oh fu-

Randy ripped the soldier off of Cody and threw him to the ground, closing the distance instantly. He kicked him hard in the chest, stomach, legs, and anywhere else he could reach until he knelt down, took hold of his head, and snapped his neck. He sprang up and turned around.

Cody looked up, shaking as he covered his neck that almost snapped beneath the pressure. Their eyes met. He couldn't believe it.

Randy couldn't believe it either and the shock was written on his face. Fuck. He didn't even realize what he was doing he just, did it. Something took over his body and mind and compelled him to run to Cody's aide. He couldn't have stopped it if he tried-

Boom.

The explosion shook the beach, silencing the gunfire as everyone ducked or took cover. Including Randy who dove over Cody and wrapped his body around him in a protective shield until the chaos stopped and Randy realized what it was. Fuck, the soldier. He forgot all about him.

Randy shot up to his feet. Oh god. No please, not the cannon. Not the-

He was too late. Randy looked across the beach at the ship and let out a horrified cry. It had taken a direct hit. The debris was still fluttering and flying through the air as the vessel began to collapse, a fire already shooting across the deck and up the masts to the sails. It was destroyed.

"No!" Randy's harrowing scream ripped through the air like a knife as he leapt over Cody and took off running towards the ship at full speed, as if somehow he could stop it. If he got there in time, he thought. If he put the fire out before it reached the hull he might still have a chance…

"Randy, don't! Come back! It's too late!" Cody scrambled to his feet, taking off after him, but damn was Randy fast.

"Randy!" Cody struggled to catch up as Randy ran towards most certain death, terrifying him and everyone watching. "Stop! Randy! Randy!"

Randy heard nothing but his own labored breathing, gliding over the sand until he neared the dunes before the shore. He leapt over one right after the other, struggling when his feet sank into the soft sand with each step. He pushed on, frantic as he watched the ship burn, foolishly believing that he could stop it. If he ran fast enough, swam hard enough, he could reach it and put the flames out before it sank. It all seemed so simple in his head.

He hit a deeper patch of sand and let out another desperate scream as it forced him to slow. He can't give up. The ship was completely engulfed within the raging fire, but still he kept going. He had to get to the vessel before she sank because if it was going down then it was taking him with it. That was the plan.

As he neared the shore the world fell silent, leaving his heart was pounding in his ears as images of his life burst over his vision in unison with each rapid beat. He was home with Samantha, holding her in his arms as she looked up at him with adoring eyes as the scenes of their short time together played out behind them. The memory felt like a chore. Do this. Do that. Don't do this. Don't do that. Be the man I'm telling you to be…

He was trying. That's all Randy ever did was try, but it was never good enough. Not for his fiancé. Not for the rebels. Not for anyone. He couldn't do anything right. Everything he did, everything he was and had become was at the request of someone else and even then he wasn't smart enough, tough enough, man enough. Nothing was ever enough.

After a moment the scene faded and was instantly replaced by another, only this time it was Cody in his arms, and they were kissing. The moment was wild. Randy's head screamed that it was wrong but he couldn't stop it. Randy's hold was punishing, as well as his mouth as he laid Cody down by the fire to take him. Randy choked, fighting the image, running faster. Their naked bodies were mashed together in an intimate embrace as they kissed. Their arms wrapped so tight around the other that Randy could actually feel the strain in his arms, his muscles aching as if he were trying to hold onto Cody with everything he had. God it felt so right.

Randy screamed as barreled through the picture, shattering it to pieces. No. Fuck. Stop it. He was almost there. Just a few more feet and he would leave it all behind.

Cody was right behind him after he seized the only chance to catch up with him in the dunes. It wasn't much but it was better than before but damnit if Randy still didn't have a good five feet between them. All Cody could do was keep going, pushing on through the sand. It grew harder with every step, the sand sucking his feet down, the cold air drying his mouth and lungs to the point of pain. It all became too much. He was running out of time. If he wanted to save Randy before his body gave out he had to do it now.

God, please, don't let him reach the water! Cody tucked his head down, gathering all his strength that formed into a quick burst of speed as he prayed for help. It wasn't enough. Randy was just so damn fast. Cody tried again. He was almost on empty but he reached down, using the very last of his reserves to close the distance between them as he frantically called out for him to stop. Oh god, he had to catch him. He just had to. So why couldn't he? Why wouldn't his legs run faster? Why didn't his body say to hell with the pain and just tear ass after him? It was. Cody just didn't know it because no matter how hard or how fast, it just wasn't enough.

The chase intensified as they grew nearer to the shore, Cody's screams echoing across the beach. "Randy, no! Stop! Stop! It's too late!" He was out of breath, his legs like jelly, his every muscles burning. To be honest he didn't know how he was still going but he kept running, kept screaming until he had nothing left and felt his body turn against him. He started to slow down. Oh fuck. No. Not now. "Randy!" He cried, on the verge of collapse until at the last second, something seemed to reach down from above and lifted him up, filling him with one last burst of energy. He shot forward, his hopes renewed as he surged ahead, soaring over the sand towards Randy at a surprising speed. Call it whatever you want but something helped him. Something spared them just in the nick of time and the second he was close enough Cody launched his body into the air in one last attempt to stop him.

It worked. They collided and tumbled into the sand, Cody clinging to Randy with everything they had as they rolled to a stop. His hold wasn't enough. The soldier broke free and came up on his knees and tried to spring upwards, his eyes still on the burning ship and nothing else. "No!" He screamed again, lunging right into Cody's waiting arm that snagged his waist and swiftly yanked Randy back down to the ground. The struggle wasn't over.

As the ship burned and began to sink into the ocean Randy became wild, tearing and thrashing against Cody who held strong and begged him to stop. He moved his arm up to his chest, enclosing him in a desperate embrace, but Randy was relentless, his hopes devastated. All he wanted was to get back where things made sense, where he wouldn't have to be afraid all of the time. "No!" He said again, clawing at Cody's arm as his knees sank further into the sand, his legs giving out, betraying him completely even as he tried to push them forward. He was trapped, and not just by Cody.

The ship started to hiss as it began to sink further into the water, crushing Randy that much more. He screamed as he watched helplessly as pieces of the sails and masts broke off crashed into the sea, jerking abruptly after every loud bang of the ship's frame bursting at the seams from the searing heat. The vessel was falling apart. His head fell with a wail. He couldn't bear to see her go down, his soul too shattered to carry on. It was over, all of it. His hopes. His dreams. His life. Everything, all over.

"Let me go." He panted with a weak tugging of Cody's arm, grimacing when it still didn't budge. "Please just let me go."

"No. Not this time." Cody pulled Randy closer. He was utterly breathless, his muscles still burning, but he wasn't letting go. Not now, or ever.

"Please!" Randy let out a hoarse cry as he ducked his head to hide his tears. He hated to cry but that wasn't why he didn't want Cody to see it. He didn't even think about his pride or how weak it was to show emotion. All he could think of was his decision to turn back and save Cody. If he hadn't of done that he would have stopped the cannon and saved the ship, and he would have found his way home. So why did he do it? Why did he give it all up for someone who hated him and thought him to be a monster? God help him he just didn't know.

"Please, just let me go." He looked at the burning ship, desperate. "Please I just want to go home!"

"It's too late. It's gone, baby. The ship's gone."

"Oh god, no, please! Please I can still make it, just let me go!"

"I'm sorry, baby." Cody cringed. It was killing him to see Randy like this, so desperate and lost. He'd give anything to make it stop. He buried his face between his shoulders. "Oh, Randy…"

"Let me go."

"Please, don't you get it? I can't, Randy. I can't."

"No…please…I just want to go home…Please…I-I…" Randy's head dropped again, his chest so tight it hurt to talk. "Please..."

Cody's breath caught in his throat. Hearing Randy cry was almost too much to bear. He hugged him tighter with a sad whisper of 'baby' before he pressed his face into the back of the older man's neck. He showered his skin with tender kisses, trying to comfort him the only way he could. They were both a mess. They were trembling, out of breath, but Randy was worse. The last week caught up to him all at once and hit him like a ton of bricks. Or maybe that was just him giving up? Maybe seeing his last chance of getting off the island sink into the ocean had finally broken him beyond all repairs? Could you blame him? He had nothing. He was nothing. His life was over, and sinking to the bottom of the god damn sea, because he chose Cody's life over his own.

As his body gave out on its own accord he slumped in Cody's arms, his head suddenly throbbing like it was in a vise, the pain shooting throughout his skull and into his eyes. He closed them tight but it didn't help. Nothing would, because what made it worse was that he did this. He didn't have anyone to blame for this but himself. It was his actions, his shortcomings and inadequacies that led him to make one stupid decision after another, not anyone else's. No wonder everyone hated him. No wonder he was always seen as a goddamn pawn. He was so fucking weak it was sickening.

He tried to open his eyes but the pain intensified and he gave up. God it felt like his head was going to explode.

Cody watched in despair as Randy lost consciousness, calling to him until he realized it failed. Shit. Come on, Randy, don't do this. He tried rocking him but, nothing. Randy was out and didn't so much as make a single sound. Even as Cody pulled him back to rest against his arm his eyes didn't flutter, his expression didn't change. He just looked dead.

"Randy!" Jake was suddenly beside them, diving to Randy's side. He grabbed his face, turning it towards him with a desperate plea for him to respond. When that failed he looked at Cody, their eyes meeting instantly.

"Look what you've done to him! Goddamnit, this is all your fault!" He violently shoved Cody in the shoulder and knocked him back and almost made him drop Randy. Jake would have caught him if he had. "Get away from him! Just go! Go!"

"He's mine, Jake!" Cody staked his claim over Randy as he came back up with a sneer. Damnit he was so sick of Jake butting his nose in where it didn't belong. The kid seriously needed to back the fuck off. "I claim him! Do you hear me!"

"Why? You don't care about him!"

"Fuck you!" Cody snapped and shoved Jake so hard in the chest the smaller man toppled over into the sand. Fuck Jake. Cody cared about Randy more than he would ever know. He pulled Randy close to his chest, hugging him tight and shivered when he realized how cold he was. Damnit they needed to get him out of there to some place warm, not fight over him.

They lucked out. The rebels were coming at them from every angle as Jake got back to his feet. He was ready for more, planning on tearing Cody's heart out through his chest until Randy's hand came to life. "Stop." Randy whispered as it rose into the air, almost completely limp. It was searching. Both men held their breath as they watched it move higher towards Cody's arm around the soldier's waist. It landed with a soft smack, and instantly fell slack.