Yes yes, I was the chick who slapped someone for being rude to a sandwich maker. No, I've never actually slapped someone for that, yes I have told them off for that, and the best Subway Sandwich I ever had was in Tenesee. Moving on. Micronesia is in the Pacific, near Paupa New Guinea.
Sorry this was so short, I knitted a 5' 4" scarf, went over to my friend's house, and spent a bunch of time outside (despite being sick). Sorry if you think it's too short. They'll get longer, I swear. I just needed filler since I noticed this has 8/9/10 more chapters. Length control.
She doesn't own Naruto...or the Ustyurt Plateau (not a country, but I ran out of obscure countries, so now it's countries AND places like mountains and plateaus and lakes ect.)
Texas was long. It stretched for miles and miles, endless plains of what felt like the same place over and over. It wasn't that all of Texas was boring, no, there were interesting places, but this stretch of highway was not one of those places. It was long and it was boring.
"I want booze," Temari said. She hadn't wanted booze in a while, but passing out was preferable to seeing how long she could go without blinking versus how many times she blinked in a minute. Gaara glared at her in the rearview mirror.
"There are no exits for forever Temari," he informed her dryly. "Where do you suggest we get it?"
"No need to get snippy little brother," Temari chided. "I was just stating the fact that I'd rather pass out and do horridly inappropriate stuff with Nara and have an excuse versus actually having to explain myself afterwards."
"Temari! That's icky!" Naruto cried, shutting his eyes and covering his ears with both hands. Gaara didn't like this conversation, and so he attempted to roast Shikamaru through the rearview mirror. Shikamaru actually made the effort to cower.
"No inappropriate shit with my sister," Gaara warned. "Or I am going to castrate you with a crowbar." He turned his eyes to Temari. "Temari, no inappropriate shit with Shikamaru, or I'll lock you in your room until you're thirty five."
"You and what army?"
"Between Kankuro, Kiba and me, we'll find a way."
"Who said I was in on this?" Kiba asked indignantly.
Temari nodded to Kiba. "See? Someone's on my side!"
"I'm in!" Kiba shouted. "Sorry, just had to make it clear I'm in it of my own free will, not due to being drafted by Gaara's 'The Army of Murphy', if you know what I mean?" he grinned wildly. Temari raised an eyebrow.
"Sounds like a badly written novel. Gaara's 'The Army of Murphy'. Sun Tzu's The Art of War, you know?" she shrugged. "My room doesn't have a lock you know."
"Oh don't worry Temari," Gaara said darkly. "We'd find a way."
No one said any more.
They decided that Texas was actually a demon in disguise. Only a demon, a rather large, fuzzy, vengeful one, would strand them in the middle of nowhere in a van with no gas, and no gas station in sight. Okay, so the lone station had shown up about three miles back, dusty and decrepit, and someone had to go back. Two people, actually, in case someone died of heatstroke.
"Not leaving Shikamaru."
"Not leaving Temari."
"Not leaving Gaara."
"Not leaving the van."
"Not leaving at all, I feel like watching."
"That means Sasuke and Naruto are going. Now go," Gaara said. "What are you waiting for? Being lazy is Shikamaru's job." He waved them off. Naruto and Sasuke shot him scalding, roasting looks and the two boys started off down the long stretch of road. Slowly the Hippie-Like-Vehicle was just a spot in the distance, and Sasuke and Naruto could have died out there and no one would have come for weeks.
"Long trip to get some gas, ne?" Naruto asked with a laugh. "I mean, you'd think we'd remember to fill up."
"Yeah," Sasuke said vaguely. "You know how hypnotizing that landscape can be though. Do you have the gas can?" Naruto nodded, holding up a red plastic jug. Sasuke acknowledged this with a wave of his hand. "Good. It would have been a pain to walk all the way back now."
"So we have to walk three miles through Texas. What if we die?"
"Six."
"Six what?" Naruto demanded.
"Six miles. We have to walk back, remember?" Sasuke gave Naruto a knowing look and silence ran to greet them. Naruto stared at the ground miserably. Sasuke didn't notice this, of course, and just kept walking. At least, for a little while. "Hey, what's wrong with you?"
Naruto didn't respond. He just kept walking, heel toe, over the long stretch of road. Gaara had armed them with a stun gun for god's sake, a stun gun, and there was no one for miles. What do you use a stun gun for when there is no one around for miles?
"I'm fine," Naruto said. "Just hot, that's all." Sasuke bit his lip. 'Yes, Naruto, you are very hot.' The dark haired boy blinked a couple of times, trying to rid himself of the perverted thoughts that had seeped into his brain.
"Gaara gave us some stuff," Sasuke said, rapidly changing subject. "Cell phone, water, stun gun…stun gun? Why did he give us a stun gun?"
"He's Gaara."
"Touché. Water?"
Naruto took the water bottle and took a small sip of water. He blinked a couple of times and handed it back to Sasuke, who returned it to Temari's purse. Temari's purse, which happened to contain a cell phone, a water bottle and a stun gun. They needed some place to carry all the junk.
Twenty minutes later, however, Naruto was starting to feel dizzy. More than dizzy, actually. He could see his feet, for the sake of ramen, when he looked up. That is a very bad place to see your feet. The blond boy asked for water, controlling his breath as much as possible. Worrying Sasuke, he reasoned, was fairly stupid. He didn't need to worry Sasuke. No, no need.
Then a gnome appeared.
"How may I be of service today?" asked the gnome. Naruto stared. 'Gnome?' he thought. 'Why is there a gnome in the middle of Texas?' He shook his head. The gnome remained. "Young man? Young man are you alright?" The gnome prodded Naruto's forehead. Naruto shook his head again, and the gnome was gone.
"Why were you a gnome?" Naruto asked.
And then he passed out.
When Naruto woke up, he was still in the middle of Texas. However, he was no longer standing up and seated beside him was Sasuke. Also, he was in a gas station When blue eyes clicked open, Sasuke was immediately at attention, his own black optics wide.
"Are you alright?" Sasuke asked nervously. Someone kicked him sharply.
"Of course he's not alright," scolded a voice. Said voice wasn't clearly a 'guy' voice or a 'girl' voice, the owner of the voice wasn't clearly dressed, and from what Naruto could see, he couldn't get a good look at the chest. Person walked out with a swimsuit edition of a magazine and Naruto never would be sure.
"I'm fine," he said, dragging himself to a seated position. There were ice packs under his arms. "What happened?"
"We think ya got heatstroke," said the man who managed the gas station. "Not too bad, we caught it fast enough that you'll be fine in a couple a days. Jes drink some of this." The Gas Station Man handed Naruto a bottle of Gatorade.
"I don't have money on me," Sasuke said, eyeing the sport's drink. The man shrugged.
"You can just have it. I can't afford to have people dyin' on mah floor," Gas Station Man explained. "Your friends is probably waiting, it's been almost a hour. She can drive you." He gestured to a teenager who was downing a mocha in one corner. "She's gong the same way."
Sasuke and Naruto thanked the man, and Sasuke dragged Naruto into the car the girl had designated as her friend's mother's. They were dropped off by Murphy, and Naruto was practically tackled by Temari.
"Are you alright? We were so worried! We barely got any of the story, the phone connection was so bad!" She held Naruto tightly. "Here, lay down in the back, my stupid good for nada brother better get going! Go!" She helped Naruto into Murphy. The blond boy was thoroughly disoriented, that was obvious from the way his eyes kept spinning in circles.
Shikamaru surveyed the blond boy. "Looks like overheating or an extremely mild case of heatstroke." he observed. "We should probably give him more water. That, and blast that air conditioning." He moved to sit near Naruto and gently moved strands of hair from the younger boy's face. "See, you'll be fine?"
Temari nodded. "Yeah. Let's just get to Santa Fe. Then the whole world will be better."
So they drove through Texas, land of the demons and the stun guns.
I..up...dated. Grah!
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