I didn't want to ever post this chapter. Please let me know what you think. This is the only time I'll actually ask for reviews – let me know if I totally killed the story, all right? You don't even have to review if you don't want to. PM me. Or tweet it to me.
Just GAH!
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The deep silence that filled the room seemed to create some kind of nervous atmosphere between Harry and me. Well… maybe I was ten thousand times more nervous than he was but I could tell from the look on his curious face that he was a bit wary of what I was going to say. It was as though he suddenly regret asking anything.
"So…" I gulped, completely unsure with how to start my story. Where was I supposed to begin?
"Um… what were your parents' names?" Harry asked, trying to get the conversation rolling. I bit my lip, knowing that once he got it started I'd probably be unable to stop.
"My mother is Tina Anders-Moon and my father is Joseph Moon. They met back in high school… my mother got pregnant with my older brother when she was about 18 so they got married…" I began, not quite sure how to continue. What did he want to know? Everything?
"Wait… you have an older brother?" He asked, his eyes flaring for a moment in confusion. "Any other siblings?"
"A younger sister," I answered, my chest tightening at the thought.
"Okay… so where did you grow up?" He asked, leading the conversation. I thankfully recognized that this was how most of our talk would go. He would ask a question and I would answer it. I didn't need to explain anything more than what he wanted to know.
"I grew up in Bristol till I was about fourteen. My parent's divorced then and I moved here with my father, to London." I replied feeling much less nervous. This could be fairly easy if Harry asked all the right questions. "My brother and sister stayed with my mum."
"Why'd they choose to stay?" He seemed slightly intrigued. "Why didn't you stay with them?"
"Well… my sister wasn't old enough to decide on her own. She was only 10 when they split so they court said she'd stay with my mum. Richard, my brother, only had a year left before he moved out so he decided to stay home with his friends. I could've chosen to stay, too. I wanted to stay. But I knew I'd miss my dad and I didn't want him to get lonely in London so I chose to go with him," I replied, shrugging my shoulders as though it was no big deal.
"Did you miss your mum? Or did you go and visit home a lot?" Harry asked looking slightly concerned.
"Oh, I would visit my siblings all the time. I can't say that I missed my mum though. We never really understood each other, so it wasn't a huge loss or anything," I explained, hoping that he wouldn't ask me to go on.
"What was she like?" He urged.
Well god dammit.
"She was kind of… well, think back to old movies, okay? You know those prissy girls with the poodle skirts and the curled hair? That was what my mom wanted to be, but for some reason she just couldn't nail it. She always seemed so awkward and… I don't know, just unreal. She never understood why I didn't like make up or dancing or other girly things. We just never clicked," I shrugged, thinking back. It was a stale nostalgia.
"All right… I think I see what you're talking about. I'm kind of surprised though – you seem like a perfectly acceptable girl to me," He shrugged as well, holding his hand out and gesturing towards my body as though that served a purpose. I think I blushed a bit.
"Yeah, but I wasn't one of those girls. I wasn't into baking or playing dress up or pretending math was hard. I just… I did what I liked. She didn't really get it. My dad did though, so I guess I was happier with him," I spoke thoughtfully, reminiscing on my childhood. The good old days… yeah right.
"When was the last time you talked to your mum? And I mean before she called you yesterday," Harry added as an after thought.
"Well… when I was 18 I moved out of my dad's house and off to school. I was near my mother's house at the time so instead of paying for a dorm I lived with her during the week. We didn't really speak that much though. I was just looking for a place to sleep and do my work. I moved out a year later," I gulped, realizing that we were now approaching dangerous territory. Things could get quite ugly.
"Why'd you move out? You weren't finished with school," he observed, frowning slightly as he added the years up in his head.
"Well…" I trailed off, my voice dying slightly as I suddenly thought back. This was it. He'd asked the wrong question.
Why did I move out?
"Mary?" He asked, looking nervous as I tried to speak.
I hated myself at that moment. How could I have gone so long without talking about it once? It just made this inevitable moment that much harder! The words seemed to get stuck in my throat and I felt tears build up behind my eyeballs.
This could get ugly.
"Ky died," I managed to finally whisper, looking away from Harry as the words left my mouth for the first time in four long years. Four lonely, sad years.
"Ky?" Harry asked, unsure of who I was speaking about. I'd forgotten to mention her name.
"My little sister," I clarified, still refusing to look up at him. It was silent for a while again as I let that piece of information sink in. The tears that I thought would spill over did nothing except sit behind my eyeballs, burning my lids. It hurt worse then crying would've.
After a few silent moments I gasped loudly as I felt Harry's arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling my head into the crook of his neck. My tense body automatically relaxed at the contact. I breathed in his heavy scent, loving the musky haze that filled my nostrils.
Everything felt a little bit better.
After a while Harry pulled back a little bit, still cradling my upper torso in his arms. Our eyes met – his were full of sympathy and sorrow, a look I was all too familiar with. I didn't seem to mind it all that much coming from him. His eyes were honest.
"How?" He whispered, leaving his arms comfortingly around my back and shoulders. I closed my eyes, remembering the night the police officers came to my front door. I remembered the denial and the pain and the tears. I remembered everything.
"It was her sixteenth birthday," I began in a hushed whisper, my eyes staring rather unseeingly at the small hole in my light blue skirt. I absentmindedly wondered how it'd gotten there. "Richard had come down to celebrate. He took Ky driving, just to show her the ropes and teach her how. They were gone for hours – the sun had set and it had started raining. I'd thought that maybe they'd gotten lost or run out of gas… I didn't even think-" I had to stop myself for a moment to regain some of my composure. I took a deep breath, steadying myself before I continued. "Around midnight I started to get really worried. I was calling Rick's phone but it was off. It wasn't till about one in the morning that I convinced my mom to finally call the police..." My voice was so quite I could barely hear it. Harry didn't seem to complain though as he leaned in, trying to catch my every word.
"What happened?" He asked, a needy expression coating his sympathetic face. I closed my eyes, shutting him out of the world as I thought back and allowed myself to relive the entire night.
I'd had to avoid it for so long.
Behind my eye lids I saw the flashing blue and red lights of the police car pulling into the gravely driveway at my mother's house. I remembered clambering away from the kitchen table, yanking the door open before the police woman had even reached my front step. I looked all around, paining to see my sister step out of the car as well – praying with all my heart that I'd see her face appear in the darkness. Hoping with all my heart to see my brother's face smile sheepishly at us for their tardiness. I was wishing for anything.
I saw the police officer hand me Ky's sweater. It was folded neatly and wrapped in a sealed plastic bag. My eyes had stared in confusion at the garment in my hands as my mother listened to the woman speak. I didn't hear a word they'd said as I tried to figure out why Ky wasn't wearing her sweater. Wouldn't she be cold?
"I'm sorry Miss Anders… there was nothing we could do," The final, pitying words of the cop had reached my ears, echoing through the night like a cannon.
"There was nothing they could do," I whispered to Harry, suddenly coming back to the present. I reopened my eyes and stared into his blue ones, hoping to find some kind of solace from the pain in my heart. It hurt so much. "There was an accident as they were driving back… Rick was driving and another car hit them. They flew into a ditch and… they were there for hours. The police found them but it was too late," I sighed, hugging the arm that Harry had placed around my stomach. It made the pain go away a bit.
"Mary…" He whispered, naturally pulling me towards him for a hug. I willingly hugged back, still quite surprised that no tears had cascaded down my cheeks.
"What happened to Rick?" Harry asked, pulling away slightly so he could see my face. He was probably checking for the invisible tears.
"After the accident… I think he blamed himself for it. He flew off to America without a word to any of us. I've got no idea where he is or what he's doing," I replied, regretfully wishing I could at least see him once again. I missed him a lot.
Harry hugged me once again as he silently registered that I needed comfort. I was slightly appreciative that he didn't prolong a sympathy routine. It wouldn't seem very natural coming from him.
"Mary… why didn't you tell me any of this? There's so much that I didn't know…" He whispered after what felt like a century. My heart still hurt but I could feel the pain receding. I was progressing towards my normal, retreated state.
"I didn't tell anyone… when I was with my mum… we just never talked about it. It was almost as if Ky never existed. I was so used to remaining silent…" I replied, frowning slightly as I thought it over. Why did I always feel like no one could know? It was so easy and normal telling Harry.
Sure it hurt – a lot – but now that I let it go, released it into the world, I actually felt a bit better. My heart wasn't quite as heavy.
"What about your dad? Did he act the same way?" Harry asked, his hand rubbing small circles on my back as we talked. It was soothing.
"My dad became this walking zombie. He doesn't… it's like when Ky died, so did he, but only mentally. Physically he's still here," I'd considered this situation before. My dad used to be a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I missed my old dad.
"When was the last time you talked to him?" Harry asked, his hand continuing to rub circles on my back. I leaned into his shoulder, resting my head just below his neck. His scent seemed to calm me down.
Strange…
"Last year on her birthday I went to visit her grave. My dad was there, too. It was kind of awkward. He asked me about my life and my friends – though it was all forced conversation. I think it would've been more peaceful if we'd just stayed silent," I thought aloud, remembering the brief meeting. I blushed slightly as a certain moment occurred to me. "I told him about you," I whispered, hiding my face so he couldn't see my unmistakable blush.
"Me? Why?" Harry seemed dumbfounded. I continued to hide.
"He asked about my friends. I told him that he would've loved you," I explained, feeling slightly ridiculous with how much I was admitting. Harry probably thought I was a fool.
It was silent for a moment after that. I tried to force my brain to stop thinking about face-palming myself. That would just lead to even more embarrassment.
I had to stifle a gasp as Harry's arms tightened around me, pulling my body into a more forceful, stronger hug against his chest. His face pressed against the top of my head, his lips meeting my hair in a sweet little peck.
Or, well, I thought it was his lips. It felt like it.
"Thank you for telling me, Mary… thank you," Harry whispered, rocking us back and forth lightly as we hugged. My heart nearly exploded at the intensity of his words, relishing the hug and his lips and his smell and just… him.
I was willing to give him anything he asked for.
"Thank you for listening," I replied, unable to express my complete gratitude. I didn't have the words for it.
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McFlYiNgHiGh – Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh did I kill it? I think this is my least favorite chapter I've ever, EVER written. But it's necessary for the sequel!!! I want to face-palm myself. BLAH! Anyway! Your camp really sounds freaking awesome. Every day going there I'd be like "I'm in Hogwarts!" haha =] Ha and the Danny/Ella story should be up by August 1st, hopefully! I'm really liking that one TEN TIMES MORE than this one right now lmao. I should like this one's sequel though… ANYWAY! Glad you got your review in before I posted! Woot! =D
Holly360 – Do you still like the story?!?! You've been super dedicated and reviewed EVERY chapter… have I completely ruined it? I feel like I made it all seem too OOC and… just like… not normal? Gahhh who knows. Anyway, thank you for your kind words! =]
Jessica – I've just been SUPER worried about Mary's family all the way back from chapter two. The only reason I wrote THIS story is because I've had an idea for the sequel in my head from day one and I like the sequel a lot… I just don't like how I wrote this one! Like with Ky and stuff…. Could've done it so much better. BAH! Lmao Sorry for worrying you!=]
Tigerlily1221 – Ha thank you! Good job finding the title! I mean, it's not word for word but it's still the same thing =] You don't think I made Harry way to out of character here? BLAH! I love writing and English too until I realize just how much my characters do NOT want to cooperate. ANYWAY! Thank you for being super lovely and making me smile again! =]
Dani6531 – I know! I still don't understand the pumpkin heads relevance lmao. And the Love/Hate relationship is going to go first (just because and obnoxious amount of people reallyyyyy want it lmao) but Plan:B does look like it's going after that one, so you wont have to wait long! Ha and thank you, I really liked Mary's dominate attitude in the last chapter too. I was so proud of her =] THANK Y OU for being just SO awesome!