Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride

Max

I am honestly such an idiot. At least that's what my heart was telling me. It's been two weeks and my whole body has been aching for Fang. Whenever I saw him around school, my heart broke in even smaller pieces.

In the cafeteria, talking and laughing with Nudge, Ella, Iggy and Gazzy. Crack.

In the library, sitting at the computer in the furthest corner of the room in order to avoid me. Crack.

In the school parking lot, watching him get in his truck and driving away. Crack.

It hurt like hell.

My head, on the other hand, was telling me the opposite and deep down, I knew that I did the right thing. Or did I?

Ugh!

I threw the book I was holding across the room in frustration, watching from my bed as it crashed into the wall. It's not like I was reading it anyways.

Why does it hurt so much?

Fang

"Fang, you need to talk to her."

I looked up from the book I was reading, seeing that my mum was leaning against my door, eyeing me with a look of concern. Well, I hadn't been reading. More like staring at the pages whilst wallowing in self-pity and pain.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I grumbled, returning my gaze to the page I had been staring at for the past hour.

My mum sighed before stepping into my room, closing the door behind her. She sat on the edge of my bed, a sad smile on her lips, "I know you're hurt, but you need to pull yourself together and go talk to her."

I let out a frustrated groan and carelessly dropped my book on the bed, "Mum, she's the one who told me it was over. I can just go and make her be with me again."

"Tell me what happened."

"I told you-"

"Not all of it," she interrupted. Surprised, I looked up to find an amused gleam in her eyes, "I'm your mother Fang, I know when my own son is hiding things from me. Besides, Max was obviously in love with you. Whatever rubbish you've told me about her leaving you because she didn't feel the same won't convince me."

I sighed, not wanting to tell her the truth, knowing fully well that it would hurt her. Even though it was Dad's fault, she'd put the blame on herself. And that's not something I wanted to happen.

Sensing my hesitation, mum leaned in closer, resting her hand on my arm, "Fang, you know you can trust me. I just want to help. I hate seeing you so sad."

The love in her voice pushed me to the edge, and I confessed to her what I'd been hiding from her the past two weeks, "Max and I agreed that we wouldn't get carried away with our feelings, because otherwise it would be too hard when it would be time for us to leave. She didn't think she could deal with the pain. But I broke my promise and I told her I loved her. So she ended it. I loved her so much, mum," I ran my fingers through my hair, frustration taking over, "Fuck, I still love her. So much. Too much."

Silence ensued, filling up the room. I looked up to gauge my mum's reaction to my words. What I saw filled me with fear- she was looking at me with such sadness that I knew what she was thinking. What she was trying to tell me. Trying to put into words.

My shoulders dropped, mimicking the hope that was escaping me. The little hope I had left. Gone.

"Dad's making us move again," I whispered, staring at my mum, still trying to grab at the hope leaving me, trying to get her to deny the words that were pouring out of my mouth, "Max did the right thing. Dad's making us move again, isn't he?"

It wasn't really a question. I wasn't really expecting an answer. The answer was hanging between the two us, out in the open. I then asked the question that always followed.

"Where to?"

Max

A gentle knock interrupted my thoughts, bringing me back to reality. I watched as the door opened and Angel stepped into my room.

What is she doing here?

My curiosity was only heightened upon seeing the sad and remorseful look on her face. If I didn't think that was strange enough, I could've sworn that there was some concern completing the mix.

"Heya," she said gently, asking for permission to come in and talk with me.

I nodded and gestured towards the end of bed, silently telling her that it was ok. She sat down carefully, looking at me in the same way. Silence followed as I waited for her to speak.

"So," she started quietly, looking down at her hands which were resting on her lap before looking back up at me, "I came to say sorry."

Shock filled me, but I still remained silent. Angel was eyeing me warily, as if she were expecting me to get up and leave. To be fair, I probably would've done that before. Before Fang. But I was over it now. I wasn't angry anymore.

Seeing that I wasn't going to fulfil her expectations, she continued, "Max, I am so sorry about everything. Especially Dylan. I am so so sorry about Dylan. That was a horrible thing to do, especially since I am your sister. Your twin sister. Max, I was so jealous. God, was I jealous. Everybody loved you, you had the hottest guy in the school drooling over you and mum was devoting all her attention on you. Before you say anything, I know that's no excuse, but that's what happened. I just couldn't deal with the jealousy consuming me. It drove me insane. I couldn't stop it. So I did it because I thought it would stop it. Because I thought it was the best solution," she paused, letting out a shaky breath, "It worked for about two weeks. When I saw you marching into the cafeteria, your head held high, not giving a shit about anyone or anything, I knew that I'd been wrong about you. Dylan, mum, your popularity. I wasn't jealous of those things. They're all superficial, and I'm a spiteful human being for letting them affect me in such a way. And that's when I realised that I'd done the biggest mistake of my life. You're my twin sister. Being jealous was useless. But it was too late by then. I... I didn't know what to do. So I kept going with the bitch act," another sigh. Even though she was trying to hide it by playing with her hair, I could see that her hands were shaking, "And then Fang happened," just hearing his name sent a pang through my chest, "and made me realise that I needed to stop. You were so happy. I was so miserable. I just... I'm sorry. I know I've made a huge mess out of everything, and that I've hurt you more than I can imagine. I'm not expecting you to forgive me. I just wanted to get this off my chest."

I didn't say anything.

I couldn't.

Shock weighed down my tongue, rendering me incapable of forming any words.

Seeing that I wasn't going to say anything, Angel stood up, walked to the door and, before closing it behind her, turned around and quietly whispered.

"Thank you."

I sat there, staring at the door, for God knows how long. My cheeks were wet from tears that I had shed during Angel's speech. I lifted a hand to my cheeks, surprised at my turmoil.

I forgave her.

I'd forgiven her a long time ago.

But that was not what had struck me the most from her words.

"I've hurt you more than I can imagine."

She had no idea.

At the time, I'd thought that she'd made me endure the worst pain imaginable.

But that was nothing.

That was nothing compared to the hurt I was feeling now.

A/N: YOOOO! HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS 3 so here you go, an update that was long overdue. I wrote this because someone posted a review writing how they hated it when people write fics and never come back. I read it and was like eyyyyyyy im not gone. So yeah. HI. basically the moral of the story is... leave a review ;;;;;))) No but seriously thank you for all the reviews and the follows/favs and I'm really sorry that the updates are taking forever! Again, I haven't written in ages, so its prob a bit rough around the edges but I hope you liked it (maybe not but hey at least Angel is nice! WOO! I'm so sorry the angst will last for one or two more chapters) and please review! xx Sabine