AN: Hello, my lovelies. Yes, I'm here. I'm sorry this took me almost a month to get out to you—I could bore you with excuses (which are totally valid), but really I know you don't want to listen to me and just get to the chapter, so…I'll say my thanks and get to it.
Thanks to my brand spanking new beta and the LOML, laraisawkward, and lreganb for getting this back to me as quick as humanly possible.
I'm moving across the country in three weeks, so I'm sorry if updates are slow, but I'm doing the best I can. I usually let everyone know my progress on twitter, and you can come play with me there, lexiecullen17. With that, I'll let you read on. And I hope you enjoy.
~Bella~
"Bella!" someone screamed out to me as I was shoved across the room. Staggering backwards, I clutched at my shoulder--now in serious pain.
"Oh my God, what?" I snapped, whipping my head around to see who the hell had decided to assault me during post-class clean up time. As I should have predicted, Rosalie and Alice stood just inside the doorway to the Fine Arts room, smirking at me like no one's business.
"Oh, so you do have some of your senses today. Good to know," Jasper chuckled as he scooped up some papers and threw them into the recycling bin.
"Hm?" I asked distracted. I needed to get back to putting away the blocks of charcoal that were now messing up the tables with black dust, but apparently my friends weren't having any of that.
"You've been in a different world today, darling," he said, his eyes laughing even though his mouth had ceased.
"I wonder why?" Alice mocked. She tilted her head toward Jasper, and he kissed the top of it, as if it were the most natural thing in the entire world. How were they not awkward? I envied them times a billion.
I bit my lip and thought back to exactly why I'd been the most unfocused person in the entire world today. Flashes of Edward's lips on mine, his hands caressing my skin, and then him shuddering and groaning beneath me kept running through my mind on a loop. I was so fucking proud of myself that I couldn't think of anything else for the past twenty four hours.
"There she goes again," Jasper muttered under his breath, and Alice and Rosalie burst into a fit of giggles before linking their hands around each of my elbows and dragging me towards one of the tables. I knew they wanted me to spill. I'd been far too giddy last night and they'd been highly intoxicated, so I'd been saving my gossip for today. It looked as if now was gossip time.
I looked up, wondering if Jasper was going to join us too; I knew he loved girl talk almost as much as we did. But, it looked as if today he was going to play the "man card" and leave us to our girlishness. I briefly wondered if Edward had filled him in on what had happened last night. Judging by the tinge of red that appeared on Jasper's ears as Rosalie asked me to "spill all," I guessed that he was probably in the know.
"Later guys," he called out and shut the door behind him, leaving me with two wild-eyed hyenas, salivating for information.
"It must have been good if Jasper had to leave," Alice commented. She must have put together the pieces the same time that I had.
My face heated as my mind conjured the low rumble of Edward's moans and the tingling feeling that had been building as I'd rocked my hips against his. Seeing him come undone beneath me, with such little effort on my part, well, it was something that was sure to fuel my fantasies for a good, long while.
"Oh my God, look at your face! What did you do?" Rose prodded. "Did you see peen? Were his fingers involved? He looks like he has good hands…I think all artists have good hands. Did he know how to use them?"
"No," I shook my head and bit my lip as I sagged onto the bench, unable to hold myself up—or really concentrate at all—while remembering my night's activities.
"No fingers? Or he didn't know how to use them?" Rosalie sounded so sad.
"No, no fingers…well, I mean, obviously he has them, but they weren't involved."
"Not at all? So what'd be use then?" Alice gasped as she got closer to me, her eyes wide with excitement. "Tongue? I remember once watching him eat an ice cream cone and thinking dirty things about the length of his tongue. Obviously, I never mentioned it because I didn't want to get punched—"
At which time my left arm, without conscious thought, pushed forward and made contact with Alice's side.
Oops.
"Jeez, Bella!" she wailed, clutching her side. After sticking her tongue out at me, she staggered over to the other side of the table next to Rosalie, who was staring at me like the world's hardest math problem.
"Okay, so if there were no fingers and no tongue…how did he get you off?"
"Um…I didn't…"
"What?" Rosalie asked, clearly disbelieving. "But when we walked in there last night, you guys were all post-coital adorable and touchy." It looked as if she had gotten to the end of her math problem, only to realize that she'd written down the equation incorrectly, causing the answer to be way off track.
"Yeah, um…" I fidgeted awkwardly, unsure if this was okay to be talking about. I mean, I knew that I wanted to gloat, but it wasn't the nicest thing to do to Edward, all things considered. But, seeing the excited looks on both my best friends' faces, I decided to just go for it. This was the first time that I really had anything to talk about, and I was going to just fucking go for it. "…see, I wasn't the one that was post-coital."
"Way to go, LB!" Alice cheered. "Was he big?"
My entire body flushed with my recollection of the feel of Edward, hard and beneath me. "Uh, I don't really know." They both looked confused, so I elaborated. "I didn't actually see it…"
The confused expression stayed on their faces until finally Rosalie got it. Her face morphed into one of disbelieving amusement. "Wait just a second there, B." She held up one of her hands for emphasis's sake. "Are you trying to tell us that you got Edward off through his clothing?"
Hells yes, I had. And I was damn proud of it. Unable to contain my excitement anymore, I let out the girliest giggle-squeal I could manage and began nodding enthusiastically.
"He came in his pants?"
There was no response, really. They knew exactly what had happened, and I didn't need to reiterate my point further with a verbal response. Instead, I could do nothing but nod and giggle. My behavior was contagious, apparently, and soon Alice and Rosalie joined in, our unstoppable laughter getting so out of hand that it started to hinder our breathing. Too far gone, we were panting and gasping for air before we were able to simmer down.
"Oh, that's just priceless, B."
"Nicely done, LB. Nicely done," Alice commented. To be honest, she looked kind of like a proud mama bear. And I realized that she'd been waiting for this moment almost as long as I had. Alice had put up with summer after summer of pining and whining and brooding and heartache, but now, she finally had the opportunity to join in the gossiping about fun slutty times. Because those times existed now. Fuck yeah, they did.
And let's not forget about what's going to happen tonight.
"What's happening tonight?" Alice asked. I hadn't even realized I'd spoken out loud. Oops.
"I'm going to get mine…with interest." The fact that I could say that without a hint of irony caused my body to blush uncontrollably and my mind to wander to what was inevitably going to happen when I hung out with Edward later tonight. He'd stopped by class earlier, asking if I would be okay with watching another movie in the shack after lights out, and he'd also made it very clear that he hadn't forgotten about making up for our friends' interruptions last night.
Speaking of which…
I glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was approaching the time that I'd promised to meet him up at the Adirondack chairs. Without even thinking about it, my feet pushed out from my seat, and I headed towards the door.
"What the fuck, B, where are you going?" Rosalie jumped off the bench and pulled me backwards by the elbow.
In my lust-clouded haste, I'd completely forgotten they were still there. "It's time." I gave them an exaggerated wink, and before I could even process what was going on, I was wrapped into a tight group hug.
"Bella sandwich!" Rosalie cheered as Alice made a loud "smoosh" sound.
God damn, I loved these girls. And I was more than fucking grateful to have them in my life. Feeling the love, I slid my hands into one of each of theirs and led them up the hill. We babbled nonsensically until we reached the Adirondack chairs where Emmett, Jake, Jasper, and Edward were lounging, looking like a ridiculous Judd Apatow movie. As soon as I thought it, my laughter started up again, only this time, no one else was privy to the ridiculousness running through my head.
Emmett as Seth Rogen—the vulgar teddy bear, Jasper as Jay Baruchel—the adorkable conspiracy theorist, Jake as James Franco—the ever-loveable man whore, and then…I couldn't exactly pin who Edward was. Maybe he was actually James Franco? Or Paul Rudd? Or Jason Segal?
Completely lost in my musings, I forgot that I was supposed to be interacting with the people around me. I let out a small gasp as large warm hands encircled my waist and pulled me onto their owner's lap. "What's so funny, LB?"
My head whipped around, ready to castrate the fuck out of Edward for calling me LB, when I realized that Emmett was the one who'd captured me.
"Nothing," I lied. Of course, my stellar lying capabilities had everyone fooled…except not really. Before I could squirm out of his grasp, Emmett started harassing me, tickling my ribs until I cracked. "Okay, it's just…add some weed, and this could be something out of Freaks and Geeks or Knocked Up."
"Shotty being James Franco," Jake shouted loudly, raising his hand into the air.
Edward looked indignant, completely appalled by that notion. "Hell no, you're not. Clearly, I'm James Franco."
"What?" Jake countered, raising his voice and flailing an arm around in frustration. "No you're not…there's no way you're cool enough to be James Franco. And you definitely don't get enough tail."
Unable to filter anything, I blurted out, "That was my debate!"
Everyone burst into another fit of laughter as Edward's mouth dropped, hanging agape with disbelief. Seeing his mock-distress, I squirmed out of Emmett's loose grasp and sat down in the small space of chair between him and Jake.
I leaned into his side, happy to finally be reunited with him after nearly an entire day apart. I really hated this whole 'no seeing each other during classes' thing, especially since I'd been wanting to talk to Seth alone, but I didn't want to risk going to the shack and finding them both there. Talk about awkward and a half. Yikes.
"You don't think I'm cool enough to be James Franco?" His lower lip jutted out into the most adorable pout, and it took all my self-control not to bite it, seeing as there were some older campers still milling about the front porch.
They told me the male ego was fragile, but I didn't think that Edward's would be. He had always seemed so perfect and self-assured to me but beneath the over exaggerated hurt, I could see the doubt creep into his normally bright jade eyes.
"No, Jake's definitely James Franco," I admitted, trying to remedy this situation by appealing to Edward's weak spot: movies. "He's way too much of a man whore to be you. Plus, you don't want to be him anyway…Spiderman 3 sucked. And wouldn't you rather be someone who can actually crack a joke, like Paul Rudd?"
His frown disappeared quickly, replaced by the stunning lopsided grin that made every inch of my body wake up and gravitate towards him. My head leaned forward just a bit and waited, anticipating the soft brush of his lips against mine. He licked his lips quickly, but my eyes were trained to even his slightest movement. And when his lips finally met mine, it was far too brief.
"Thanks," he whispered, allowing the magical smile to appear again, which made me want to straddle him on the chair in front of everyone. Instead, I settled for throwing my legs over his knees and snuggling my torso into his side. I sighed as I felt his lips press into my hair, and I couldn't help the contented smile from spreading across my face. One of his arms found its way around my shoulders, pulling me even closer, while his other arm slid halfway up my outer thigh. Sparks traveled up my leg, my body burning as his thumb sweeping back and forth over my bare, but thankfully smooth, skin in short, comforting strokes.
A few seats away, I could hear both Alice and Rosalie 'aww' as Jake made a gagging sound from beside us. I swung my arm out and jabbed Jake's side causing him to jump off the chair and clutch his side dramatically.
"What the hell, LB?"
I lifted my head in his direction and narrowed my eyes. "Be nice, Jake. I just made you James Franco."
"As fascinating as this argument has been, I, the obvious Jason Segal of the group, would like to ask something," Emmett announced loudly.
"Oh, does that make me Linda Cardellini or Mila Kunis?" Rosalie asked, clapping her hands together in excitement.
Emmett slumped down in his seat and shook his head. "Why am I friends with such pop culture obsessed movie dorks? And you're obviously Mila Kunis," he added as an afterthought. "Anyway, I wanted to know what everyone was doing tonight?"
"I have rehearsal," Jake grumbled. Alice and Jasper mumbled an agreement that those were their evening plans, too.
"Ugh, I have night duty." Rosalie's nose crinkled up in obvious distaste. I'd been lucky enough to not have night duty yet, which was remarkable, seeing as we were already halfway through the summer. But I knew enough about it to recognize that being outside in the dark and cold, guarding some campers' bunks until counselor curfew at two am, was absolutely no fun.
Emmett's eyes swept the group and landed on my and Edward's interlocked position with hope and pleading.
"No." Edward shook his head vehemently, grabbing me tighter in the process. "We're watching a movie in the shack and you're not invited."
His eyes scanned the surrounding area super quickly before holding a hand in front of our faces and kissing me again. I couldn't help but smile against his lips and grab his shielding hand, bringing it to my favorite place around my waist. Edward had to shift his body to face me slightly, allowing my thighs to skim over the hardening lump in his shorts.
Forgetting that our friends were sitting there, I allowed my tongue to slip from between my lips. Just as Edward parted his lips, there was a loud cough and a throat cleared. I assumed it was one of our friends trying to tell us that they'd had enough of our PDA, which, to be honest, I hadn't even realized I was okay with until this very second.
Alas, it was not.
And as I heard the words, "Oh hey, Seth," I all of a sudden became very opposed to it.
I pulled away from Edward as quickly as I could, but his hands remained like a steel cage around my waist and legs, not letting me scoot away. Seth was looking almost as uncomfortable as I felt, his hands shoved into his shorts pockets and his eyes trained on the grass, which was far more interesting than any of us sitting around…obviously.
"Hey."
"What's up?" Jasper asked. I guessed he was the most amicable of our group, or at least the least intimidating.
Seth's eyes finally flicked upwards and landed on me for a split second before focusing completely on Jasper. "Heading to the shack."
Blood rushed to my ears and my stomach clenched—and not in the good way, either. I felt guilty as fuck. I'd known that Seth was upset, but I hadn't really seen it.
"Oh, really?" Edward's voice was nervous and strained as his fingers dug into my thigh and waist. It took everything in me not to cringe. Not that I didn't appreciate the sentiment, but he was actually starting to hurt me a tiny bit.
Seth, clearly not wanting to be rude, looked up at Edward, but I noticed his eyes were glued to his face, not wandering down to where Edward's hands were still gripping me.
"Yeah…I thought I'd get some work in." One of his hands moved to clasp the back of his neck and squeezed, most likely trying to get his muscles to relax. "I've had this crazy idea for an animation set to 'The Wind' by Cat Stevens. Kind of how The Beatles used to make movies about their songs, only it'd be kind of psychedelic animation instead of live action…" He trailed off, realizing that he had started to ramble, and cleared his throat, finally tearing his eyes away from Edward's face.
"Well have fun," Jake interjected, getting his cousin's attention. "I'll be shacked up in the theater with these two—" He nodded his head in the direction of Jasper and Alice, who were snuggled up on a single chair so small that Alice barely fit comfortably between Jasper's legs. "—until God knows when. Why did I want a big part in the musical again?"
Instead of responding, Seth gave a curt wave and started his trek down the hill to the shack.
There was a minute of silence as we watched him walk off, and a large part of my stomach sank. That was so much more awkward than I had anticipated. I knew I needed to say something to make it better, but I didn't know what to say.
"I'm happy to see this won't be awkward at all," Jake said loudly, effectively breaking the loud hum of tension caused by Seth's appearance. Everyone else relaxed, sighing and chuckling softly. Except for Edward. No, his stance hadn't relaxed at all, and I wondered what the hell was running through his head. Even as everyone parted, heading off to the theater and campus respectively, his posture remained. When we were finally left alone, I turned to him.
"Okay, Hulk, you can let me go now."
That seemed to shake Edward out of whatever trance he was in, his body finally moving and twitched in my direction. "Huh?"
"Your hands," I explained. "They're starting to hurt. Do you think you could—" I placed my hands over his and he retracted them immediately, his eyes filled with worry.
"Oh, fuck, I'm sorry."
"It's okay." My voice was timid, even to my own ears as I continued. I really didn't want to upset Edward, and I had a feeling my next words would do just that. "I just really need to talk to Seth."
"Now?" Edward choked out, his grip tightening again.
"Um, yes. Please?" I whispered, eyes wide. "I know we have plans, but I'll be back super soon. I just don't feel right not apologizing to Seth. He deserves that much." My face heated, this time in embarrassment. I couldn't believe how badly I'd fucked everything up. But, to be fair, I had put myself in this situation. I wasn't a complete idiot. The reason I ran to Seth in the first place was that I knew he liked me. Ugh. And now I was dealing with the repercussions of my own actions.
"Bella," Edward sighed as he ran one of his fingers down my warm cheek to pause at my chin and tilt my face towards him. I shivered at the tingling feeling that accompanied his touch combined with the intensity of his gaze.
"Please?" I asked again.
"I guess I can hang out here and watch the sunset by myself."
I pressed a soft kiss to his lips and smiled. "Thanks. I—" I love you, I thought to myself, but I knew he'd probably run far, far away if he knew that was how I was planning to end my sentence, so I reevaluated. "—I'll be quick."
An odd expression passed over his face, but I didn't take the time to analyze it now. No, now I had a friend, who I'd treated really poorly, to apologize to.
I walked down to the shack in record time. I just wanted to make this better…now. The door was open. I pushed it open, letting the light guitar notes trickle over my skin and warm my insides. I must have sighed too loudly because Seth turned around in his seat suddenly and looked at me in shock.
"Um, hi." Now it was my turn to feel awkward. Shit, how was I going to do this? I could barely form a sentence.
"Do you need something, Bells?" he asked, and the formality in his tone nearly made me stagger backwards.
I paused before deciding to dive right in. No sense in holding back, especially when I had Edward waiting on me. "What I did to you was wrong. I feel sick about it, Seth. I wanted to use you, and I knew it was wrong at the time, but I did it anyway. And you've been nothing but an amazing friend to me, and I'm just so sor—"
Seth cut me off, jumping up from his seat, and he started to pace in small circles as he spoke. "Stop, just…stop. Please. Please," he repeated again.
"But—"
"No." I heard the finality in his tone as he stopped and brought his eyes to meet mine. "I don't know what happened that night, and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I ever want to."
"But—" I needed to get a word in edgewise. I needed to tell him how I thought I'd been betrayed and how he was the first person I thought of to comfort me. How he'd been the only one to get me through the first month and a half of the summer, and how I needed his friendship.
"I can't stand here and pretend like your apology will make things better, Bells."
Well, that shut me up.
"I really like you…a lot. But please be fair to me and give me some time without you to process everything." Seth crossed his arms across his chest and lowered his eyes to the ground again.
"So, what…we're not friends anymore?"
"I want to be your friend, Bells, I do." He fidgeted, as if he wanted to say more, so I helped him out.
"But…"
"But I can't be that for you right now," he finished.
"Do you know when that might change?"
He gave me a small smile and shook his head. "No, but I promise you'll be the first one to know, okay?"
"Okay," I whispered. My feet took a step towards the door, but I couldn't resist turning over my shoulder and reiterating my original point. "I really am sorry, Seth."
"I know."
That was going to have to be good enough for me right now, and with a sad smile, I made my way back up to the chairs to Edward.
I couldn't help but smile as I saw him. He looked majestic, regal almost, under the pinks and purples of the nearly disappeared sun, spread out and reclining in the large chair with his eyes closed. Seeing that no one else was around, I took advantage of his position and climbed onto his lap, placing one knee on either side of his thighs.
His hands grabbed my ass, and he brought me closer, not even bothering to open his eyes. I couldn't help but notice the beginnings of his crooked smile begin to form.
"Hey, beautiful, how'd it go?"
"Not so well," I sighed and kissed the tip of his nose lightly.
Edward's eyes opened slowly, and I could see the remnants of light reflected in them, taking me aback momentarily as I flashed to the last night of pre-camp. It had been just us two under the moon on the Adirondack chairs that night, too. It felt like a different lifetime; a lifetime where I wasn't allowed to kiss Edward. No matter what happened from here on out, I knew that I could absolutely not return to that time.
"What happened?" he asked sleepily, and I wondered if he'd actually napped in the short time I'd been gone.
"Let's just say that I'll be avoiding the shack for at least the next week."
"Sad times for me. So, what do you want to do? Should we hang out in my room since the shack is now occupado?"
"Do you mind if we go for a walk?" I asked nervously. "I don't particularly feel like watching a movie anyway."
"My Bella doesn't want to watch a movie?" he gasped, looking around nervously. "Is the sky going to fall? Has hell frozen over? I don't understand…" Edward kept rambling away, but the only thing I could focus on were the first two words that had come out of his mouth and the warmth that surged through my body at the sound of them.
"My Bella?"
"Uhhh, I didn't mean it like that. Not like in a possessive or anti-feminist way. You're obviously not an object, and I don't think of you that way. It's just a phrase. I'm sorry."
I giggled—yes, giggled—and swooped down to shut him up with a forceful kiss. Hands tangled in one another's hair, tugging with a renewed vigor.
"Don't be," I panted as I pulled away. "I kind of love it…"
"MB?" He grinned, and my stomach fluttered, knowing what the initials stood for.
"Mhm." I kissed him in approval again. Damn, a girl could really get used to this. "MB."
"So, where are we walking to?" His hands slid from my ass to grasp my sides and help me into a standing position. "The lake?"
I nodded and put my hands out to pull Edward up from his lounging position. He groaned and his hand went to his lower back. "Ah, motherfucker. This chair is fucking hard as…" He trailed off, and it didn't take me long to figure out what he had been planning on saying. Instead, he diverted. "I think my ass fell asleep from how long I've been sitting there."
Without a word, I slipped my hand into his; intertwining out fingers immediately and began to walk down the path towards the lake. It was the perfect remedy to the stress and awkwardness I'd felt over Seth.
The moon was nearly full, casting a peaceful glowing blanket over the hills of the camp. The air was warm and stagnant, although I supposed it was the middle of July, and I shouldn't have been that surprised by it. Somehow, Edward knew that I didn't need to talk right now. He kept silent, allowing the soft sound of crickets and cicadas to relax us, and just rubbed his thumb over my knuckles and the back of my hand every so often.
As we reached bottom of the hill where it finally leveled out, leading to the lake, Edward groaned again and pinched his lower back with his free hand, making the most hilarious sound I could possibly imagine that broke our undisturbed silence.
"Jesus Christ, my back still hurts from that fucking chair," he complained.
"Okay, Old Man," I snickered. He looked so ridiculous, hobbling along and trying to fix his back simultaneously.
His feet halted, turning towards me instead. "Did you just call me, 'Old Man'?"
"Well, you are almost an entire decade older than me," I goaded, knowing that it was working him up. And fuck me hard if there wasn't anything hotter than a worked up Edward. "Do you know how long that is? How many things can happen in that many years?"
His eyes lit up, magically on fire, and I could see his chest start to rise and fall with each rapid breath.
"I'll tell you…between the time you were born and the time I was born, a shitload happened, Old Man. Personal computers, cell phones, and the Internet were invented. The last all male Ivy, Columbia, started accepting women, Madonna changed her identity at least three times, Michael Jackson went from black to white…"
His face dropped at that one, but I could still see the ferocity building. It took everything in me to maintain a straight face, but I soldiered on.
"There was the Gulf War, three different presidents, um, the end of 80s metal, and the start of grunge. So, yeah, I think 'Old Man' works just fine." I topped off my monologue with a wink, and he lost it.
"I'll show you Old Man…" he growled before lunging at me and picking me up and pushing me against the closest surface, which happened to be the chain link fence surrounding the tennis courts. My arms and legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him as close to me as possible as his lips assaulted mine.
The cool metal from the fence dug into my spine awkwardly, but as Edward's lips crushed against mine, I kind of decided not to give a fuck. Within seconds I was breathless, panting and gasping for air. Aggressive Edward was fucking amazing. He trumped Awkward Edward any day of the week.
As Edward's lips moved away from mine and started their descent down my neck, I lost all capabilities of rational thought. My fingers clenched at the nape of his neck, urging his lips to stay on their current path. Warm lips attacked the right side of my neck, starting just behind my ear and moving down towards the far too high neckline of my uniform t-shirt. After he repeated the same circuit on the left side of my neck, he groaned loudly and pulled away, much to my dismay. I was so fucking turned on and wasn't ready for this to be over. But as his eyes locked on mine with a burning intensity, I saw that he was nowhere near done.
"Everything you said might be true, MB," he smirked, testing out my new nickname. "A decade is a long time, but none of that's important. Don't you want to hear about the important things that have happened in the five years since I've met you?"
I nodded dumbly as he adjusted the grip he had on my ass, causing his hips to hit me in all the right places. The material of my uniform shorts was way thinner than the jeans I'd been wearing last night, and I could feel the heat from his hips send warm waves of pleasure to my groin.
"Some of the hottest sex scenes to ever be put on film have happened," he began before bringing his lips back to my throat. "Underworld Evolution…The Notebook…Thank You For Smoking…" Between each movie, his soft tongue pressed gently and quickly against my skin before he closed his mouth, pretending as if he were placing a chaste kiss there. Yet each time, the kiss would be prolonged a little bit longer. My temperature was rising so fast that it didn't even occur to me to make fun of him for having seen The Notebook. "Watchmen…" he continued with an even longer kiss, making me squirm slightly in his arms. "Brokeback Mountain…" I gulped, my throat constricting uncomfortably. I'd never really told anyone, but I had an affinity for gay men. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith…"
He pulled back, smirking, preparing to dive in again, and I totally lost it. I clutched at the collar of his shirt, balancing myself with my other arm on his shoulder and brought his mouth to mine. The boy knew how to seduce me; he wasn't an idiot. And I had every intention of thanking him.
Our teeth clanked together awkwardly as his hips pushed me further into the fence. His belt buckle pushed hard into my crotch, and I momentarily panicked that when he pulled away, my shorts would be soaked through there. I was living my own dream, and it was nearly impossible to believe sometimes.
Soft lips moved down the column of my throat again, and my body searched in vain for the optimum angle for the best friction, my hips rising and falling slightly with each ragged breath.
"There was also the invention of Nintendo Wii," he mumbled against my skin, his voice becoming more labored with each word. "the iPhone, Jude Law fucked his nanny, Tom Cruise lost any appeal whatsoever…"
At that, I had to giggle. "When did he ever have appeal?" He chuckled against my neck, his lips never leaving my skin, and I instinctively knotted my fingers in his hair even harder, keeping him close as his hot breath fanned over my shoulder through the thin fabric of my t-shirt.
"There was the rise of Uggs," he continued, and I moaned in agreement as his kisses slowed, savoring my now surely bruised skin. "…and oversized sunglasses and…tennis racquets!"
Wait, what?
"Tennis racquets?"
Suddenly, I found my feet back on the ground as Edward leapt away. My knees almost gave out, and I had to grip the fence to keep upright. My eyes followed him, and I saw that Edward had found two tennis racquets and a few balls that had been left out on the court. And for some reason, he seemed super intrigued by them, much to my dismay and confusion.
"Edward?" I asked, getting slightly angry. I mean, the boy had me all worked up and then decided to fucking bail? I don't think so.
He picked up a ball and bounced it, his eyes never straying from the neon yellow.
I wasn't as amused, however.
"Edward, seriously. You'd rather play with balls than play with me?"
Finally, his head snapped up, and I tried my hardest not to show the immense insecurity that was now flowing through every inch of my body as our eyes met. It was hard not to, though. He looked me up and down before stalking in my direction slowly.
"Just because we're playing with balls doesn't mean I'm not playing with you," he said as he shoved a ball and racquet into my hand. Again, leaving me dumbfounded as he crossed the court to pick up his own equipment.
"Are you good at tennis, Bella?" he asked, awkwardly gripping a ball between his fingers as they attempted to run through his hair. I shook my head from side to side. I wasn't exactly the most athletic person ever. In fact, I had originally taken up video in the first place to get me out of sports. "Well," he continued as he started to pace slightly. "If you want to be a good player and score, um…I mean, win…you need to know exactly how to handle the ball."
He paused and looked up. I hadn't moved, still resting against the fence and completely confused by his actions and impromptu tennis instruction.
"Do you know what I mean?" he asked, clearly trying to get some point across.
"Mhm," I lied. In fact, I had no clue what he was going on about.
He cleared his throat and tugged at the hem of his t-shirt, still bouncing the ball occasionally. "To score, uh…a point…you need to handle the ball with care. When you serve, you need to use enough force to get it—" he made a weird hand gesture, his arm waving in a semi circular motion in the air "—over the net, but gentle enough to not go out of bounds. If it goes out, you've messed it all up…and that's…bad."
Edward paused, seeking reassurance from me, but I legitimately had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.
"Edward, I lost you at 'tennis.' What the hell are you talking about?"
He grimaced and groaned loudly, bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I…um…never mind. Do you want to play for a little bit?"
"Um, sure."
I grabbed the ball and tossed it over my head, trying to serve, but my hand-eye coordination was such that I missed it completely, and the ball fell to the ground in front of me with a thud. Edward contained a small chuckle, but my super sonic ears caught it.
"I told you I didn't play sports!"
As he continued to chuckle, he mimicked my actions, only his ball flew so far out of bounds, it cleared the fence and rolled onto the soccer fields behind it. I ducked out of the way and burst into a fit of giggles, seeing how far out of bounds it had actually gone.
"Okay, it's not that funny," he pouted.
I bit my lip, but the giggles wouldn't die down.
"Come on, Bella," he whined. "Stop laughing at me. It's bad enough that—" He shook his head and stopped himself. I had no idea what was going on with him tonight. He was being incredibly confusing.
"I'm not," I breathed out, my laughter dying down as Edward approached me, dropping the racquet in his hand to wrap his arms around my waist. I let my head lean back against his chest, inhaling his scent, a mixture of fresh and clean and mint with a hint of sunscreen. He smelled like summer.
"What are you smiling at?" he whispered, bringing his chin down to my shoulder.
"I love…this."
Holy shit, Bella, are you serious? I stopped the words on my tongue before they could be released into the quiet night and ruin everything. Edward and I had technically become a couple three days ago. Even with the fast pace of our lives while we were at camp, there was no way saying 'I love you' three days in was even remotely appropriate. Thank God I had a fucking grip on my filter today. Somehow.
"I do, too." His breath fanned over my ear just before his lips brushed across it, and my temperature started rising again. Yes, this is what I had expected from tonight. "And if I remember correctly, I owe you something." His lips captured the tip of my earlobe between them, causing a huge shudder to wrack through my body. I had never actually been…seduced before. I guessed that was a good enough word as any.
And as much as I wanted this—and believe me, I really really wanted this—I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. As Edward's hands started roaming, one heading underneath my shirt and the other underneath my shorts, I froze.
"Wh-what are you doing?"
His lips released my earlobe, but his head stayed in place as he chuckled, "If you don't know what I'm doing then I'm doing a piss poor job of it."
He was so close, and the small circles of his fingers felt so good, that it was impossible to think to straight…or to think at all, really. So, instead of telling him what I was thinking—what if I'm not good at this, are we really going to do this on the tennis courts, what if someone catches us, what if Emmett catches us, what if he realizes exactly how inexperienced I am?—I groaned loudly and spun around in his arms, melting into him as he led us to the rubbery asphalt of the hard court.
His hand guided me backwards, stretching me out beneath him. The sight of him above me, the crescent moon shining behind him, nearly sent me into a panic attack. Edward was beautiful, and to be honest, kind of slutty. I knew that he'd had a slew of summer flings, and I knew those girls probably had no problem taking their clothes off. But those girls weren't me.
I momentarily lost all capability of speech as Edward's lips captured mine in a slow kiss. It was slow, yes, but not gentle. I felt this kiss in every inch of my body, causing my toes to curl and my knees to rise to make more room for his torso between my legs. It was as if my body knew what to do best when my mind wasn't running interference. So, I decided to just go with it.
His hips leaned into mine as the kiss continued, and I felt a sizeable lump in his shorts. My hand went to reach for it, because, um, that was what you were supposed to do, right? But Edward stopped my hand before it even got halfway there, moving it to the back of his neck.
"No," he said firmly as he moved his hips back an inch.
"No?" I asked, wondering what I had done wrong.
"This is about you." His eyes looked deadly serious despite the small smirk adorning his lips.
"Okay…" I conceded, but as Edward's fingers started pushing my shirt up my stomach, I made my own request. "Wait."
His hands froze, and he pulled back suddenly, his eyes filled with concern. "What? Is something wrong?"
"Um…" My face heated, and I felt kind of ridiculous in my panic, but I knew that I would feel much better if my clothes stayed on. I didn't want to worry about him seeing me topless on top of everything else. "I think I should keep on all my clothes—" he looked like he was going to interrupt with an objection or justification, and I didn't want to allow Edward to make me forget what I needed to say, so I just barreled on. "—just in case anyone sees us."
His confusion morphed into understanding. "That's fine, Bella. If I do something to make you, um, uncomfortable?" he said it as more of a question. "Tell me."
"I don't know what I'm doing," I blurt out, unable to stop the words before they escape my mouth.
Edward's face flushed, and he bit down on his lip before he whispered, "Bella, you made me…you make me…I…" he sputtered, "You may not think you know what you're doing, but you definitely do. Now, can you relax so I can return the favor?"
I nodded dumbly, unable to do anything else as one of Edward's hands snaked underneath the waistband of my shorts. Now, I wasn't a stranger to touching myself, obviously, but nothing I'd done had ever felt as good as what Edward's hand was currently doing.
His fingers took their time, creeping over the soft material of my cotton underwear, and for the billionth time I was grateful that I decided to keep my clothes on. I was pretty sure I'd be embarrassed if the first undies he saw me in were my faded pink cotton bikini-style bottoms from Target.
Note to self: clean out underwear drawer…soon.
"Is this okay?" he asked quietly, his hand trailing over the top of my pubic bone. I could do nothing but nod. Okay wasn't even close to describing how I felt, but I'd let it slide for now. As I thought it, my hips shifted, unintentionally moving his fingers right over the crotch of my underwear.
Both our breaths caught simultaneously, but mine quickly turned into a soft sigh as his finger moved up and down with not nearly enough pressure. If it was his goal to make me die a slow, torturous death, he was definitely succeeding.
"Oh God," he groaned, bringing his mouth back to my neck. I should have been worried about looking like a Dalmatian or a leper tomorrow, but that was of no concern as Edward's tongue and fingers moved in sync with one another. They both swept up and down before pushing into my skin with more force.
My knees fell open to rest on the asphalt, no longer able to utilize the muscles needed for keeping them upright. "Bella, I, um…I'm going to…" he said, moving the wet cotton aside, and pushing in one of his fingers.
"Oh."
My voice was surprised, but I had no idea what else to say. He was the first person, besides me, to touch me there, and I hadn't really known what to expect. But it was good. I mean, it was really fucking good. As his finger slid in and out of me, I noticed the way I clenched down on him, wanting him to push harder and faster. My hips moved in time with his finger; nothing had ever felt like this before.
But then, without any warning, the good feelings stopped and were replaced by a terrible ripping, stinging overly-full feeling. I let him keep going for a few more seconds, until finally I decided the pain wasn't diminishing.
"Ow," I whimpered, and not in the good way.
"What?" Edward moved his mouth away from my shoulder to get a better look at my face. "Did you just say 'ow'?" he asked, keeping his finger—or as I'd now figured out—fingers plural still.
"Mhm." I cringed, unsure of why I couldn't just keep my mouth shut.
"It hurts?"
"Mhm."
"Wow, um, okay."
Edward was looking down at where, had I been naked, he would have been able to see his fingers inside me, and I tried to steady my breathing.
"You're really a virgin."
My mouth dropped, and I could feel tears prickling the corner of my eyes. Had he doubted me? Did he think I was doing it to be coy but was actually some ridiculous slut? Seeing my face, he continued on.
"No, I didn't mean it like…I just meant…has anyone ever done, um, this for you before?"
I shook my head, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment. "Only myself," I whispered, barely audible.
"And you never used anything to, uhh…help?"
"No, oh my God, Edward, your fingers are still fucking inside me, can we not have this conversation right now?" I asked, panic welling in my chest all over again. "And please don't stop, please…I'm sorry," I begged, feeling his fingers start to slide out of me.
"Don't apologize for…" he trailed off. "I just…" Unsure, Edward removed his fingers, and I thought I was going to cry. He couldn't stop now, he just couldn't.
"What are you do—"
His two fingers moved from within me and stroked lightly over my clit, causing my back to arch up from the ground slightly. "Just, let me make it feel good again."
I would have responded, honestly, had his magical fingertip not started rubbing small circles on my clit. If he wanted to make it feel good again, then he was off to a damn good start. I'd heard complaints from a lot of my high school friends that their boyfriends were completely incapable of finding the elusive clit, but Edward seemed to know exactly what he was doing…obviously.
"How is that?" he asked, bringing his lips down to brush over my jaw and trail up to my ear with feathery kisses.
I hope he didn't expect me to actually respond, so I just sighed contentedly, praying that he wouldn't stop. Groaning, his tongue ran along the edge of my ear, and the noise alone was enough to make me hot enough to spontaneously combust.
"I can't believe you're actually mine, MB." His words vibrated against my ear lobe, causing me to shiver. "I love seeing you underneath me." The pressure on my clit increased, and I rocked my hips upwards, signaling my readiness for him. "You're so beautiful when you're this turned on." I mean, with words like those, who was he trying to kid? I was surprised there wasn't the whole fucking Kennebec River leaking out of my shorts.
"More?" Edward mumbled. Hearing my pant of agreement, he pushed the tip of his finger inside me, never ceasing the movement of his other finger on my clit. Rosalie was right; the boy knew exactly how to use his fingers. Keeping his eyes on me, he pushed his finger in further. As the pressure of his finger increased, he checked in with me, which I thoroughly appreciated, considering everything. "One is okay?"
"One is good," I moaned. "One is better than good."
"Okay," he whispered, continuing. His finger started its slow and steady rhythm inside me, and I felt the tingling start to build up again. In and out, his pace increased steadily, causing me to whimper and moan again.
"Still good?" he asked as his lips pressed against my neck softly.
"Shit, fuck yes." My Tourette's returned in full force as my hips bucked against his hand. He'd rendered me incapable of controlling any bodily reactions whatsoever, apparently. I was approaching and getting incredibly close to something great, something life-altering. "So…close…" I panted.
As Edward's finger curled inside me, it hit a particularly sensitive spot, and I was overtaken by warmth and white light. I was pretty sure I even saw God.
Crying out his name, I relaxed back into the asphalt, completely unable to move.
"Thank you," I sighed as he brought his lips to mine, pressing a gentle kiss there.
Edward rolled off me and pulled his hand out of my shorts, wiping it on the asphalt beside him.
"Ew, oh my god, that's disgusting."
He simply chuckled, shrugged and pulled me into his side to stare up into the clear sky, filled with bright stars.
Nothing else was said as our eyes roamed the darkness, despite the fact that we had a shitload to talk about.
I knew that things were going to be complicated with Edward, but I hadn't really allowed room for my awkwardness on top of that. Not wanting to ruin my contented buzz, I allowed the warm night air and Edward's scent to envelop me completely, putting off our real conversation for a time when I'd regained use of my brain cells.
Chapter End Notes: I love you all, my darlings. Give me your thoughts…there is much inappropriateness to come (*giggle*) and I can't fucking wait to share it all with you…Campward's pretty stoked too, NGL. Alright, until next time, my loves.