Omg everyone. I'm SO SORRY I haven't gotten a chapter out in a week! This week has been so hectic! I haven't had time to do anything...just...i don't remember what I've been doing that makes me so busy...—thinks— ya...i don't know...Whatever. who cares. I've been busy. That's all there is to it. Anyway...

The last chapter was awesome...wasn't it!! Weee...their ENGAGED! Yay!!!

Disclaimer:

Me: omg Bella and Edward are ENGAGED!

Reality: um...no...their actually not...

Me: um...ya they really are...

Reality: um...no...not really...

Me: why not?!

Reality: because this is a fanfiction, not the real story. They would be if you actually owned twilight, but you don't...

Me: well...um...i...THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU!

Chapter 20

"I love you so much, Bella," he said.

"I love you too," I said. Then he leaned down to kiss me again.

Edward led me back to the table, where Renee was sitting with tears in her eyes. She wiped away her tears and smiled at me.

"Oh...honey...I'm so happy for you!" she said as she reached up to hug me.

"Mom, did you know about all this?" I asked. She nodded in reply.

"Edward asked Charlie and my permission to marry you," she said. I looked over at Edward, and he smiled. He had asked their permission. This, again, proved the point that I didn't deserve him. He was such a gentleman.

Renee reached for my hand and looked at my ring. "Oh, Edward, this ring is beautiful!" she said.

"It belonged to Esme's mother. When Esme's mother died, the ring was left in her possession, and Esme wanted me to have it," Edward replied. I looked at the ring, and then held it up next to his face.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"The ring, it's the exact same color as your eyes..." I said. He nodded.

"That's how I knew it was perfect," he said. I grinned.

"It's absolutely perfect," I replied, grinning back. Edward and I both sat down at the table, and then Adélaïde walked up to us, looking furious.

"Would you like to order dessert this evening?" she asked in an angry voice. I saw Edward stifle a laugh, but then he composed himself.

"Would we like desserts?" he asked Renee and me.

"No, thank you," said Renee. I nodded in agreement, and Edward looked at Adélaïde to tell her, but she was already gone. We all burst out laughing.

"That waitress has some serious problems..." I muttered. Edward and Renee laughed again.

Adélaïde came back a second later and handed Edward the check. I tried to get a peek at the total price, but Edward didn't let me see it. I think I saw him put a hundred dollar bill, if not 2 of them, into the bill-book thing, but I couldn't be sure. But I'm sure I did hear him say "keep the change" to Adélaïde. Then he took my hand and we all stood up to leave the restaurant.

Renee offered to sit in the back of the car on the way back so Edward and I could be together. Edward held my hand the whole way back, and both of us kept glancing down at my ring. Whenever I saw it, I got chills. I was actually going to marry Edward.

But was this what I really wanted? Not even 2 months ago he had proposed for the first time. And I had turned him down. What had changed?

Well, this time he proposed in an incredibly romantic way. And he had planned the whole thing; he didn't just propose to me on a whim. And he also proposed in front of a lot of people. Did I say yes only because I knew I should say yes, and not because it was what I wanted? I hoped not...

Was it what I wanted? Did I really want to marry Edward? Yes, I did. I was going to be with him forever because I was going to be a vampire. I might as well be married to him. But, if it was what I really wanted, then why didn't I say yes the first time?

My excuse had been that Renee and Charlie wouldn't approve. And that actually was part of it. Now that I knew that Renee and Charlie were semi-okay with the whole thing, it was easier to say yes. But, what was the other reason for me saying no the first time?

I was scared. When I really thought about it, that was the reason I turned him down. I was scared. I was afraid of the commitment. Afraid that, even though I had much evidence to the contrary, he really didn't want me. I knew that I wasn't good enough for him, and I was still afraid that he would leave me again. Afraid that in a few years, he would be gone, and I would be all alone.

I knew I shouldn't think that anymore. I knew that he wasn't going to leave me. He had promised me he wouldn't leave.

But, he had promised he would never leave before, too. And he had broken his promise. He had left.

"We're here." My thoughts were interrupted by Edward telling me that he had arrived back at Charlie's house. Renee got out of the car first, but Edward kept a firm hold on my hand and I could tell that he wanted me to stay in the car so he could talk to me.

I heard the front door close that meant Renee was inside. I looked up from where I had been staring at my hand, and saw Edward looking at me. And there was something in his expression that made my heart sink.

He could tell what I had been thinking about.

He released my hand and opened his car door. In a second, he was opening my door for me. I stepped out of the car, but instead of going inside, Edward lead me to the woods. We walked a little ways in, and then sat down on the trunk of a fallen tree.

Neither of us said anything for a while. I was looking around the forest, and when I looked back at Edward, he was staring at the ground. I put my hands on either side of his face and moved his head so I could see his eyes. They looked sad. Very sad.

"Edward..." I began, but he put a finger to my lips to stop me. He moved his finger away, and then folded his hands together and put them in his lap. He broke the trance we had been in, and looked down at the forest floor again. After a few minutes, he looked back up at me.

"Bella...do you love me?" he asked quietly.

"What kind of a question is—"

"Answer the question, please," he cut me off.

"Of course I do," I replied, shocked that he even had to ask.

"Do you want me to change you into a vampire?" he asked.

I was shocked at the bluntness of the question, but I recovered quickly. "Yes," I replied.

"And you want to be with me forever, even if it means turning your back against humanity, even if it means hurting your family, even if it means you have to go through tremendous pain and suffering?"

"Yes."

Throughout all these questions, he had been looking at the ground. But after the last question, he looked up and looked into my eyes. I waited for him to say something else, but he didn't.

"Edward..." I started again, but I stopped because he looked back at the ground. After a long time of only being able to hear the faint sounds of crickets, he spoke again.

"Do you want to marry me?" he asked. He looked up to meet my eyes, but I looked away.

Did I want to marry him? Is that what I really wanted?

"I..." I started, but didn't know what to say. Then I looked up at the sky, and realized that I couldn't see a moon. All I could see were stars.

It was a new moon.

A new moon. Darkness. No light whatsoever.

But a new moon was also a time of new beginnings. The start of something new. The start of something different.

Something new.

I looked down from the black sky and met Edward's eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but then stopped. I thought I had made up my mind, but realized that I hadn't.

"Bella...?" he asked. I looked away from him, and felt tears forming in my eyes.

Why was I crying? Why did I have to be so emotional?! Why couldn't make up my mind?!?

"Bella..." he said again. I didn't look at him. "Bella, I don't want to force you into a decision, and I don't want to make you do something that you don't want to, but I do want you to say yes. I am very selfish, and I right now what I want is you."

He wanted me. He wasn't going to leave me. He was going to be with me forever. I just needed to keep telling myself that.

"Bella, you said you love me. You said you want to be with me forever. If both of those things are true, then why is it so hard for you to decide if you want to marry me?"

He had a point. Marriage was a lot less of a commitment than changing into a vampire. Then why was it so hard for me to make up my mind about this?

I looked down at my ring again, and then back up at the sky. Then suddenly, everything got brighter.

The moon came out from behind a cloud.

It was full.

It wasn't really a new moon. It wasn't a time of dark. It was a time of light. A time of light and happiness.

Happiness. But what was happiness. What really would make me happy? Would marrying Edward make me happy, or would it just hurt me because I would hurt my family?

I took a deep breath and turned to face Edward.

"Edward...I..."

Hahaha! Cliffy! I bet you all hate me now! Well...that's just to frickin bad for you! Lol!!!

O so guess what. I'm in DI (destination imagination...idk if anyone has heard of it...) and our team is got 1st place at regionals, 3rd at state, and now were going to globals!! Its in Tennessee, so our entire team gets to miss 3 days of school and drive from Minnesota to Tennessee! Its gonna be frickin awesome!

Woah snap! Go us!

Ya well...next chapter out later.

Please please PLEASE review!

----danielle----