Disclaimer: All characters belong to JK Rowling and sadly, I am not she. If I was, Severus would be alive, Lily would not have been the love of his life and Hermione would have been and they would have had tonnes of kids which would then lead onto a Severus/Hermione mini series!lol

Note: writing in italics below are internal thoughts of the characters/letter content.

Please review: it is appreciated. I'd appreciate more in the way of reviews so I know if you guys like what I am doing, or indeed if you have any ideas that you would like me to consider writing into the plot. Not compliant at all to the books, so please don't feel the need to point it out. You're reading a Severus/Hermione ship…that is not in any way compliant to begin with so if you don't like the things I invent or twist within the story to suit my plot, please move on to some other story. I appreciate constructive criticism, I know that my stories will not be perfect but I can only try my best and hope it pleases. I am only human after all.

As with all my fics this will be rated M – just a wee warning in advance.

Apologies for not updating as soon as I usually do. Unfortunately we had a loss in our family and it sort of knocked me for six. But I am back and pretty much functioning normally again so…here is chapter 20! Please review, it is very much appreciated. Jenni xx

July 12th 1998

Dearest Hermione,

I see that imbecile Weasley has gotten his claws into you. I had hoped that you would have better taste than that sorry excuse for a man. I can only hope that this is a passing fancy that you are experiencing. Christ, even the Foreign Beefcake you went out with in your fourth year was a better choice than him.

I see the way he holds onto you…the way he wears a smug smile because he has you all to himself. I hate him for it. I am a jealous man, Hermione and this is driving me madder than I had thought possible. I long to be in his shoes; to kiss your beautiful lips, to caress your hand in mine…to stare lovingly into those mesmerising brown eyes of yours and tell you what you mean to me. But alas, as always, Severus Snape cannot have the girl he wants. Does my anger shock you, my love? I have tried to stop these feelings but I cannot. My emotions are haywire and the only way I can stop myself from self combusting is by writing this letter to you (or not to you, as it were).

I am angry as I write this letter, angry with jealousy, angry with yearning…angry with myself for falling in love with the wizarding world's poster girl and sweetheart. I'm angry with you for loving such a man as him, when a man such as myself, would love and cherish you, as you deserve.

He will let you down yet, believe me. I know this because as much as he loves to have you on his arm, his eyes wander to other girls. That alone, in my opinion, is a sign that he does not deserve you. Were you mine, I would never even notice another female. I still love you, Hermione…even if you decide to spend your life with that ginger dolt. I did not lie in my last letter when I said I would love you forever. It is only more painful for me now to see you with someone else – do not think that means I do not want you to be happy, Merlin knows I do but… I had hoped against hope that you would grow to love me one day, that you would finally be mine. Foolish, I know!

Let me close this letter by saying that I love you despite your appalling taste in men. I only hope you see sense and leave that idiot before he breaks your heart.

Yours, always

Severus

Hermione was teary-eyed yet again as she finished reading the letter.

"Do you know how beautiful these letters are?" She asked him.

"Hardly beautiful…you could tell I was in a particularly moody snit in that letter, love." He chuckled, dragging Hermione into his warm and comforting arms.

"You are pretty brutal about Ron in there, I'll give you that but it's the passion and love you have for me. It's enough to move me to tears. It's so strange to think that you were mooning over me while I was doing the same about you." She smiled and placed a soft kiss against his stubbly cheek.

Severus rolled his eyes and snorted, "I doubt you felt quite as strongly about me as I had for you at that point, Hermione. It was bordering on obsession."

Hermione sat up, biting her lip and turned wary eyes on Severus, "Well um, I … I could show you if you want?"

His brow creased in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"My journal… I wrote about you all the time. It is not quite as romantic as writing love letters to you but it was the only way I could get my thoughts and feelings about you out of my system so to speak. I recall one particularly jealous entry concerning Harry's mother." She added bashfully.

Severus smirked, his heart beating a little faster in his chest in excitement. "Go fetch it then, little Nymph. I feel as though my ego needs stroked some more, after all I have years of low self esteem to wipe away."

Hermione giggled and walked over to her trunk, gingerly taking out her leather bound journal before handing it over to her lover.

"This journal, I like to call the 'Severus Years'." She joked. "Read it at your peril."

Severus sent her a wicked grin before opening the first page, "Oh goodie…"

Remus and Pansy walked into his quarters hand in hand, wearing silly smiles.

"Would you care for a cup of tea?" Remus asked politely.

Pansy bit her lip and nodded, "Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you."

Her hands fidgeted nervously and looked around the room while Remus disappeared into his small but tidy kitchenette. The room was quaint, tidy and extremely tasteful, she was glad to see.

Stop critiquing his décor and concentrate on what is important. I am finally here, he loves me…he wants me. I want him so much…I cannot believe he is finally mine. I just hope that he wasn't just caught up in the moment when he told me. She chided herself, shaking her head.

Remus was thinking similar thoughts in the kitchenette; worried that she only said she loved him to be kind, worried that she did not truly love him. Hell, he was just worried in general. The fact that his rather well endowed cock was rock hard at the thought of possibly making love to her, was not helping the situation either.

Trust you to bloody wake up now! He rolled his eyes at his randy reaction and grinned at the thought of himself making slow, sweet and passionate love to the beautiful Pansy Parkinson.

He forced himself to think positive about this situation, dark thoughts had invaded his life on too many occasions. After all, it would not be very fair to think of Pansy as someone who would play with his emotions and heart.

No, I know only too well that Slytherin's can be just as trustworthy as anyone else…if not more so!

Remus smiled and steeled himself to walk back through to the living room, desperately trying to keep his libido under wraps until they had had a chance to talk things over.

He sat next to her on the couch, awkwardly nursing his hot chocolate while she politely sipped at her tea.

"So…" He began.

"So?" She answered.

The silence stretched on, both parties trying to put what they wanted to say into words and finding it extremely difficult to do so. Gathering his Gryffindor courage, Remus turned to his young, beautiful Slytherin and took her small hands in his.

"I… will just come out and say everything that's on my mind and I apologise if it comes out in a massive muddle, okay?" He asked.

Pansy gave him a small and shy smile that made his trousers tighten and nodded her head, encouraging him with her eyes.

"I am not an easy man to be with, Pansy. You know of my werewolf problem and my past history, relationship wise. I want you to know that I have never compared you to Tonks…she was my wife but how I feel for you…it's nothing like what I felt for her, I feel it is important that you know that. The wolf in me recognises you as my true mate…it is something that is extremely rare for my kind… to actually find their mate, that is. I feel stronger for you than I ever thought I could feel about a person... I just hope you truly feel the same way?"

Pansy smiled at him widely and nodded, tears in her eyes.

" I am head over heels in love with you and I hope that you will not be adverse to my courting you… I am worried though about how you will find being with a widower who has a young son…"

"I will love him as my own…as I already do his father." She interrupted.

Remus felt relief wash over his body and a feeling of sheer happiness taking over his disposition.

"I love you, Remus Lupin. I know you were married before…she was a good woman and I will never disallow you to think about or remember her…she was the mother of your child and I respect that wholeheartedly...so stop bloody worrying about that. I just can't believe that I'm your…mate. Well, I can believe it but you know, it's pretty heavy duty stuff that! Sorry, I'm not making sense." She chuckled, amused at her own nerves.

"And that doesn't scare you?" Remus asked as he tucked an unruly curl behind her ear.

"Quite the contrary, I assure you Mister Lupin." She leant forward and gently pressed her lips against his. Remus returned her kiss with gusto, pulling her body even closer to his.

"I love you…" He whispered breathlessly against her plump lips.

"I love you too…now, make love to me before I explode…" She answered.

Remus did not need to be told twice.

a/n: please review, as always it is appreciated. We're almost at the end now folks...