Set before and during 6x15, "Let Her Go"
I've been trying to keep my grip, yeah I think I'm over this
I can hear it now, oh no
Yeah, my tongue, I'll let it slip, why'd I do those things I did?
I can taste it now, oh no
I'll try my best, how much do I invest?
Like cardiac arrest, high voltage in her lips
I'll try my best, how much do I invest?
Like cardiac arrest, high voltage when we kiss
My innards turn, your eyes, they roll, I'll be there to take the fall
I can feel it now, oh no
Same old story since day one, but I've got no place to run
I can see it now, oh no
High voltage in her lips, they catch me when I slip
"Cardiac Arrest" by Bad Suns
Trigger warning: miscarriage, depiction of miscarriage, mentions of miscarriage (sorry guys, but it was the only thing that made sense : ( and please don't read the flashback if this kind of thing upsets you to read about)
Chapter 20 - I'll Try My Best
May 10, 1994
"Um, babe? Remind me again why we're here-" Kai tilted his head, regarding the overcrowded corner of Westminster Abbey with disdain, "-staring at a bunch of dead white guys' statues?"
He was stretched out on a pew, his feet propped up on top of the one in front of him.
Skye didn't appear to have heard him, too transfixed by a wall of memorial plaques she was reading.
"How do you feel about the name Henry?" she asked him a moment later, her hand resting on her stomach, her barely-there bump. "Oh or maybe Henri. Something French since I'm pretty sure that's where, you know... he was conceived."
Kai remembered vividly.
He also recalled that she had not allowed him to touch her since Spain - ever since Kai had dropped bombshell, the plan he had really had for their future, she had been extra wary of him.
It frustrated him, almost as much as the inane tourist attraction he was currently suffering.
"Kai?" she prompted, facing him.
"I don't know, as parents with names like Kai and Skyler, I think it would be an injustice to name him Henry." Kai punctuated the name with extra scorn.
Kai stood and sauntered over until he was behind her, eyeing the wall of names. Some he recognized from his high school English class but most were foreign to him.
"Besides what if it's a girl?" he asked. "All of these people are males."
"George Eliot was a woman, actually."
Kai frowned.
"And before you ask, yes really. It was a pen name. Shows how much attention you paid in English class. And, besides, who says we can't name a girl a male name. What's gonna stop us? All these hordes of judgmental people?" she asked rhetorically, sweeping one hand out to indicate the gorgeously gothic but entirely empty, eerily lonely space behind them.
"You do realize we have months to decide a name for the spawn?" he said. He had estimated her at 13 weeks just the day before, which meant they still had roughly six months left. "In the meantime, we should head over to the Tower of London."
"First, it's only a spawn because you're it's father. Second, I'm not going to the Tower of London with you because the last thing you need is to be near a medieval torture device and the last thing I need is to be put up on a rack."
He stepped closer to her, his front aligning with her back, his arms enclosing around her.
She was tense in his hold, her hands quick to try and restrain his.
His nose dipping along her neck, pulling his hands up to brush her hair aside, he breathed her in, taking in her scent of pomegranates and vanilla, he murmured, "I like your parts too much to stretch them out."
His mouth latched onto her neck, on the sensitive spot only he knew how to manipulate. He sucked, sunk his teeth into the sensitive flesh of her throat, laved his tongue along her skin.
She fell back against him, pliant now. Internally, he snickered.
She was too easy sometimes.
His hand slipped down and unfastened her jeans.
"You do realize this is a church right?" she huffed out; he felt her vocal cords vibrating against his mouth. "A very old, very famous one."
Kai made no reply as his mouth was still occupied.
As she squirmed, grabbing his hands again before they strayed to commit more indecent actions, she continued, "I would say we're going to hell, but-"
"We're already there?" he finished the sentence for her as he came up for air. "Let me guess, I'm the devil?"
He was met with her breathless chuckle. "That would be an insult to the devil."
Letting out a mock-gasp, he spun her around, eliciting a real gasp from her. He only grinned devilishly down at her, playing the part. Her only reaction was a wide smile in return - one that spoke of sheepish defeat - before he covered her mouth with his own, forestalling the opportunity for any more conversation, simultaneously dragging her back towards the pews, with only the very unsaintly intention to bend her over them in mind.
Kai was on a mission on the streets of London.
He had left Skye soaking in the luxurious bathtub back at the trendy flat they had been squatting in. They had been slumming it lately, Skye expressing a wish to take a break from the manor houses, mansions, and palaces they had visited and stayed.
He was using the time to follow up on a lead he had about a magical artifact - an eleventh century sword imbued with dark magic that might've had belonged to William the Conqueror.
As he neared Piccadilly Circus, his pager beeped.
Brow furrowed, Kai pulled it from his pocket. A number flashed across the LCD display.
Huh, he guessed she had finally worked out the European phone system.
He ignored it and the prickle of annoyance it brought; he also ignored each telephone booth he came across, which was a lot considering he was in a city famous for them.
His pager beeped at him intermittently, even while he was on his knees in a dusty crypt at a witch cemetery, searching a hidden vault.
After a disappointing search, several hours later, he returned to the apartment he left Skye at. It was nearing dusk and his vision was limited in the semi-darkness.
"Skye?" he called, peeling off his jacket and throwing it on the carpet.
He swore if he found her still in the bathtub, shriveled up like a prune...
He knocked on the bathroom door.
"Skye?"
There was no answer. He tried the doorknob and was grateful she hadn't locked it - it was a bad habit she had that irritated him.
When he opened the door, he didn't see her immediately, the bathtub empty of occupant but still full of water.
His eyes swept the room, adjusting to the dim light, and then she was there all at once - naked, huddled against wall, blood on her thighs, her face pale and distant. Her hair was dry but scraggly, it's strands never brushed out.
Bewildered, he dragged his eyes away from her for a moment and spotted more blood streaks on the floor.
He came forward and was now able to see the blood in the tub - the clots and swirls made up a macabrely artistic picture.
It wasn't the first time Kai discovered Skye covered in blood like this - sometimes he was the one that left her like that, but he had to remind himself that no matter how many times he hanged himself or put a shotgun to his head that Skye committed random suicide at twice the rate he did in their forsaken world - so he bit his tongue, hard, tasting the metallic tang of his own blood, before he sighed and asked, "Did you do this on purpose?"
Upon her look of horror, Kai wanted to backtrack but he had a horrible suspicion.
He was getting that feeling again - that rage that seemed uncontainable and singular, tinged with a bitterness he couldn't exactly pinpoint.
It reminded him of the first time he had killed her, beat her with a baseball bat, just hours after he had done the same to Eva, his sister, all the while thinking that Skye didn't deserve it - she wasn't like Eva. She had never sneered at him, had never called him "freak!" or "psycho!", had never locked him out of the house during winter, had never taunted him with magic.
But she, Skye, had fucking ran from him and it felt worse.
After it was done, and she laid at his feet, her body completely unrecognizable, he could only speculate about what constituted the highest point in Salem, Oregon and entertain the desperate desire he had to jump off of it.
He picked the interior copula of the art-deco Capitol Building. When he came to on top of the blood-spattered state seal, he harbored the same rage - a rage that was still twisted and gnarled and ugly and seething and raw.
"What?" Skye said breathlessly, now, bringing him back to the moment.
Brutally, he proceeded, "I mean, am I gonna find a dirty coat hanger around here if I look hard enough?"
Her face crumpled, her mouth falling open.
"Your first instinct is to accuse me, Kai, seriously?" she questioned lowly, an undercurrent - something akin to disbelief - present in her tone.
Carefully, she rose, stopping only to bend and grab a towel from the floor, wrapping it around herself. She walked past him, leading a path of bloody footprints towards the door. He followed her into the bedroom where she had already dropped her towel and was frantically rooting around for clothes, pulling on the necessities - plain shorts and a t-shirt. He watched with crossed arms, keeping himself in check.
"What do you expect me to think, Skye?" he shot at her finally, his voice deceptively steady, but there was no disguising the mocking quality. "You're not panicking, you don't seemed shocked."
She swung around, her hands flying up in anger. "I was panicking hours ago when I paged you. And paged you and paged you. I was freaking out because something I didn't understand was happening to me, and I couldn't count on you to help me. I was in horrific pain and bleeding and all you did was confirm for me why this was a bad idea in the first place. I should've known-" she paused, seemingly losing steam. Her hand covered her mouth, and she looked down at the floor, deliberately hiding her face from him. And Kai, with tight chest, wanted to lash out - it would be so easy to lunge at her and erase the evidence of the loss - the dried blood still staining her legs - with new blood, with fire, with something that made him feel better - no, not better - calmer. In control.
And it was truly a herculean feat for Kai to deny his impulses, to walk away, to leave her unharmed, to not give in and go back on his word, but he did - slowly, he turned away from her and walked out, all the while wondering what constituted the highest point in London.
Disappointment was never an emotion she had never associated with Kai before- well, with feeling for Kai before. Disappointment meant she had had expectations in the first place, and it was foolish to ever believe in someone who wasn't even capable of being real.
So no her disappointment had to be with herself.
She was disappointed that she believed anything could ever be different or good in the Prison World.
It was a misery she contemplated as she sobbed in the bedroom of some else's London flat.
He never bore witness to her breakdowns - to the gut wrenching sobs and the destructive, hysterical tantrums - maybe, like the cold-blooded creature he was, he could predict the onslaught of foreign human emotion and took the opportunity to flee before it could get the chance to rub itself off on him.
More likely, she waited until she was sure he was gone before she succumbed to her vulnerabilities.
But this experience was different - more traumatic. This grief was new - fresh. It was an addition to the grief she already felt daily. But that grief was easier to deal with - it was just a dull, fractured ache now, with three names. This - this grief - was a gaping wound with no name.
She was disappointed - disappointed with herself in the fact that she wasn't fit to carry the one thing that could save them both.
He found her a week later, as she slumped, hunched over the railing of Hungerford bridge, framed against the London Eye and the setting sun, regarding the Thames below.
"I'm not jumping in after you," he greeted.
"Wouldn't expect you to," she countered automatically.
He joined her, leaning his forearms against the railing.
They were silent for awhile, the rushing water soothing to her, a contrast to the stifling, heavy energy Kai projected at the moment.
"So where to now?" he finally broke the silence, blase as ever. "I'm thinking we should take a detour from Europe for the time being, venture over to some African or Asian countries."
Skye blinked against the rare sunlight shining in her eyes.
"Babe," he prompted when she didn't respond.
She sighed, an exaggerated one that had him clenching his fists. "I don't care, Kai."
He laughed shortly. "You do care because as I pick a place for us to go, you'll complain about my choice and it's a little hard to chart a new course when you're at 30,000 feet."
Rolling her eyes, Skye shrugged, remaining in her slumped position.
Kai glanced down at their feet where a half-empty vodka bottle rested.
He crouched down and picked it up. "I'm guessing it's too much to hope that you didn't touch one of these before the other night."
She reared back, indignant. "Are you kidding me? More accusations?"
"I'm just trying to understand how you could be perfectly healthy one minute and miscarrying in another."
She scoffed, even as her heart clenched painfully in her chest. "That's usually how accidents happen, Kai. They're occur unexpectedly and they devastate. They're not always someone's fault."
"Are you sure about that?" The doubt in his tone taunted her.
"Of course! It was not something I would do on purpose, because, unlike you, I do not have a reckless disregard for human life."
His nostrils flared and he stared at her, his expression darkly intense.
She stared back, unflinching.
Finally, he backed down, gazing out across the landscape. "My mom had a few, I think, in between Isaac and Olivia and Lucas. But I could never tell if they were accidents. I think she just wanted a break sometimes."
"Miscarriage is not uncommon, Kai," she offered, drawing on a woman's perspective, but she had to wonder if his mom's really were accidents too, given what she knew of his family's history.
"Oh well," he shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess it just means we have to try again."
And that was the absolute last thing she wanted to do or ever entertain the possibility of again, but she said nothing. Her wish would be revealed in her eventual resistance, but it was no use arguing now.
"Amsterdam," she said instead. "I want to go to Amsterdam before we leave the continent."
She was gonna need all the weed she could get her hands on because she deserved a break for the moment - a manufactured happiness.
The chill on her skin was bone deep and alien, as was the manic feeling humming in her veins.
Skye glanced down to see Kai's sleeping face looking back at her, just as pale and sweaty as the night before. He lay, sprawled out in front of the toilet, his head propped up on her crossed legs.
The ache in her back was insistent, borne of her unfortunate choice to stay slumped against the bathtub for several sleepless hours so as not to disturb the figure using her as a pillow.
She tried to shift positions, sitting straighter, cursing her limbs, which had been asleep and were now currently shooting pins and needles through her entire body.
Kai stirred, and she stilled.
He only grimaced, and then turned on his side, burying his face more firmly against her knee.
She leaned back and surveyed him, thinking of the night before.
"You should take him to the hospital," the tattoo artist had helpfully suggested,only after he'd had taken his sweet time finishing her tattoo, with her sitting stiff with alarm in the chair, the only thing keeping her from jumping out it the dismissive waves Kai gave her through the window, signaling his relatively "okay" state of being.
The tattoo had only made the suggestion after he finished up her tattoo, dressed it and gave her specific, long-winded instructions for proper treatment, then went outside, and caught sight of just what substance was splattered against his storefront.
Kai had immediately protested, which did not please the guy. He had basically kicked them out after that, not even wanting the other half of his payment, though Skye had tried to give it to him.
She had managed to get Kai back to the car, where he threw up twice more in the passenger seat floorboard. When they arrived back at the motel, he instantly staggered for the bathroom.
She followed after him, watching from the doorway in pity as he kneeled at the toilet seat and retched a third time.
"Okay, maybe the hospital is a good idea," she interjected after the fourth time. She had already moved from her position by the door and sat on the edge of the bathtub beside him, her hand on his back, attempting to give comfort - what started off as an awkward pat soon morphed into a soothing circular pattern.
Kai groaned as he lifted his head. "No."
"Kai…"
"I don't think the problem is medical," he told her.
Skye's felt her brow furrow, and she pondered for a moment. "You think it's magical?"
He looked like he was on the verge of answering, but then another round came up, his cheeks puffing out. He hid his face in the toilet and expelled once again.
She sighed, concern and frustration warring inside of her. She waited until he had raised his head back up, his expression miserable, before she spoke. "Mal, puking up blood is never a good sign, no matter the exact cause of it."
He winced, backing away from the toilet bowl, and sat back against the wall. Finally, he met her eyes and shrugged. "I probably just overdid it the other day with all those spells to bring Bonnie back….should pass by morning."
She studied him, looking for hints of deception, but all she saw were still signs of sickness - his complexion was still off, his brow glistening, his mouth twisted. He gazed back at her, heavy-lidded.
"You know, there is one good thing about this situation, babe," he said gravely.
She could only shake her head in dissent, stifling a mirthless laugh about the irony of the statement and the manner in which it was made.
Incongruently, a wide, goofy grin suddenly broke out across his face. "You've been rubbing my back."
She rolled her eyes. "Great, now you're delirious from blood loss."
However, he grew quiet after that as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against her legs.
He drifted into a fitful sleep, the muscles in his jaw clenching and unclenching for some time before they relaxed completely.
Somehow, someway, through the hazy night where she tried and failed to get anything resembling sound sleep, she had found herself on the floor, supporting his head in her lap.
Now, she gazed down at him, her hand coming up before she could stop herself, her fingers threading through his hair. She observed the prominent black bags under his eyes, in sharp relief against the harsh fluorescent of the light above.
God, she wanted to hate his face.
Her finger drifted over one smooth eyebrow and then traced the contour of his nose, before her knuckles brushed against his lower lip.
She had the sudden, vivid image of raking her nails viciously down one cheek, but
she shook herself, banishing the image.
Abruptly, his eyes snapped open, wide and wild. And she snatched her hand back, embarrassed at having been caught in the intimate act.
He bolted up, the stream of blood leaving his mouth splattering the rim of the toilet and the tile of the floor.
She hurried, haphazardly dodging the sick puddles, leaving him heaving on the floor. Once back in the main room of their motel room, she went to his jacket on the bed and fished out his phone.
She was stunned momentarily, when she accidentally swiped her thumb across the screen and unlocked it, seeing his choice of background for the first time - it was her...and him. A picture taken at an awkward angle, depicting her asleep, her hair askew, and him curled up next to her, his lips puckered, holding a lock of her hair across his top lip, creating a fake moustache.
She wished this was the creepiest thing she could accuse him of, but it wasn't - not by a long shot.
Shaking her head, she returned to the bathroom, holding up the device, as he continued to dry-heave over the toilet rim.
"We're calling someone," she told him firmly. "Because it's morning now and this -" she gestured at the display before her- "obviously isn't passing like you said it would. In fact, this looks worse."
He had stopped while she spoke, his chest heaving. Gingerly, he stood from his crouched position, brushing the back of his hand over his month. He shook his head, now rubbing his fingers over his eyes.
"What about your sister?"she ventured. "I know you said it's magical rather than medical. But wouldn't she be an expert on both?"
"She's also an expert on hating me and wanting me dead," he said, with a thin smile. "So I doubt that's an option either. Also, for the record, sissy was never really big on magic. I'm betting whatever little magical education she had has only diminished in the last eighteen years."
"Well, I guess we'll found out," Skye said, before she found Jo in his list of contacts and called her.
She held out the phone to Kai, who only glowered weakly back at her.
She shook it insistently just as Jo's voice rang out, "Hello?"
He took it, and then looking nervous, pressed the device to his ear. "Hi...Jo," he said unsurely.
There was a pregnant pause just before there was a bang and muffled, indistinct voices in the background.
"Jo?" he inquired.
Another bang sounded followed by a unmistakable gagging noise. Then the phone beeped and Kai pulled it from his ear to examine the screen. It read: "Call Ended."
Skye's initial confusion at the bizarre, incomplete call became worry. "I'll guess a house call is next," Skye said decisively, not even waiting for Kai's opinion before leaving the bathroom.
"Wait, did you see our selfie? Did you like it?" Kai called after her.
It wasn't until they hit the light of day that Skye really noticed the stubble on his cheeks, rough new growth that didn't complement his ashen appearance.
It wasn't until they were in the car and driving that she realized she should've learned from her experiences the night before and brought a plastic bag along, if only to save the floorboards and other cars passing by them from a disturbing sight - him with his head stuck out the window, puking on the road as they moved like a sick dog.
She was relieved when they reached Jo's apartment complex. When it looked like Kai might have not as been as steady as he let on, the sickness affecting his balance, she let him put an arm around her shoulders and tried to steer him as best she could.
In a few minutes, heeding his helpful directions, they arrived at their destination.
She knocked tentatively on the door then instantly returned her hand back to its original position against his ribs.
Kai scoffed, "You're gonna have to knock harder than that, babe."
"Must not be too sick if you're still able to snark at me," she grumbled.
Yet his still pallid complexion kind of ruined her allegation.
He reached up and pushed a white button next to the door that Skye had failed to see. They heard a bell ring inside. She waited impatiently, her nerves surging back to the forefront.
The door opened, revealing Alaric.
Kai barely got out "hey" before the door was swinging shut again. Quickly, he stuck his foot in the dwindling gap, saying, "Wait, wait, wait," while Skye braced her hand against the door.
"Please, Alaric," she said.
Alaric pulled the door back, his face expressionless.
"Look," Kai began. "I know you hate me, but I really, really need to see my sister."
"I think she'll pass," Alaric told him coldly, the door in motion again.
Kai made a noise of protest, before Jo's steely voice cut through the commotion, "What are you doing here?"
Through the gap, Skye finally saw Jo as she stood in a robe, her arms crossed defensively, her face stern.
Kai pushed the door back and Alaric allowed him this time, .
"I called to tell you I was sick and you-... you hung up on me," Kai explained, crossing his arms as well, but in a more sheepish manner. He appeared cowed in the presence of his sister.
"Because I have food poisoning," she told him, slowly coming forward. "Did the sound of me vomiting on the other end of the line not clue you in?"
Kai sighed. "Look, there's an issue I've been worried about since The Merge - 'cause you didn't really do it, right? You know, the whole, 'you're not my twin, hey that's okay, close enough,' plan."
It was so subtle Skye almost didn't even notice it - Jo's single exhale, the brief flash of despair in her eyes that signified the weight of just one of myriad tragedies she'd incurred in her lifetime.
"But it worked, which, you know, cool. Hey," Kai was oblivious, directing his attention to Alaric. "I'm even a little bit nice now, in case you were wondering."
"Move on," Skye suggested quietly when all he received was an sarcastic face back from Alaric and an aggravated look from Jo.
Kai glanced back at Skye, seeming at a lost. She tilted her head back at the other pair insistently.
"But I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop," Kai finally continued, his face becoming more and more pinched, like he was physically holding something back. "And well I think it's dropped. Because I'm - ..." Kai paused, cleared his throat, and lowered his gaze to the ground.
"Trash can, grab one," Skye interjected quickly just as Kai simultaneously asked, "Where's the bathroom?"
Jo and Alaric barely had time to look alarmed before a stream of blood burst from Kai's mouth, landing on Alaric as the latter jumped in surprise and shouted.
"Oh, God," Jo exclaimed, as Alaric hurriedly reached for a rustic, empty vase by the door.
He shoved the vase at Kai with a disgusted,"Here."
Kai clutched the rim as he crouched down, still vomiting. Skye put her hand on his back, resting it in the spot between his shoulder blades, as Alaric regained his distance.
Skye glanced up at Jo, catching the woman's perturbed expression, watching as her hands came up to cover her mouth.
"I don't think you have food poisoning," Kai declared, his face still buried in the vase.
He sniffled and sat up, leaning one hand on the door knob for balance. "I was supposed to merge my magic with you. But I got Luke's instead."
Breathing heavily, he wiped his mouth on his arm sleeve. "Now I'm defective." He stood and Skye's hand fell to her side. "And I think that's why you're sick."
Jo still appeared distressed, her eyes focused away from Kai, having already figured out for herself the direness of the situation.
"I kinda feel like I'm dying, actually. And if I die, so do you. Dad. Liv. And the rest of our dumb coven. So...could you please fix me? Like now," Kai begged.
It felt a lot like typical Kai manipulation, except it was half-hearted, lacking it's usual finesse, it's devil-may-care tone. It was more earnest. More beseeching.
And Skye felt like that was why Jo ultimately agreed, just nodding her head wordlessly, her hand still covering her mouth.
Jo peered into Kai's eyes with her ophthalmoscope, as he sat on top of the examination table Skye herself had used not too long ago.
"Any joint pain?" Jo questioned.
"Nuh-uh."
"Headaches?"
"No."
She straightened, eyeing him mock-critically. "You pregnant?"
The look Kai gave her was his patented unamused and disapproving one, one Skye was no stranger to. "Stop making jokes. I feel like I'm being scrunched from inside out."
Everything was a joke to him until it concerned his well-being.
Jo grabbed her otoscope and held it up to his ear.
"This is kinda private," Kai said, scowling at Alaric. "Does your baby boo need to be here?"
"Why not? Your's is." Alaric countered, sliding a look over to Skye.
She shuffled her feet, uncomfortable. "Pretty sure that's not an accurate label... whatever the hell it means."
"Besides, I'm not leaving her alone with you so deal with it," Alaric contended.
Sighing, Jo stepped in front of Kai, blocking Alaric from his sight. "Okay, your vitals are fine. Your temperature is normal. I'll wait on pathology but there's nothing medically wrong with you."
"Yeah, duh, because I'm magically diseased," Kai retorted, giving his sister a narrowed-eyed look, one that had Skye bristling, before the look changed to speculative one the longer he examined his sister's irritated expression. "Wait, you haven't puked in at least - " he broke off abruptly, as speak of the devil, his neck flexed.
"Oh!" Jo sprung into action more quickly this time, anticipating Kai's vomit. She had a trash can under his mouth in under a second, and one hand on his shoulder to keep him from falling off the table. Skye grabbed a hold of his other shoulder to help stabilize him.
Skye saw as his arm came out, grabbing onto his sister's for more leverage.
Instantly, Jo winced and groaned out, Skye also catching sight of just what was causing her pain - Kai's hand glowed orange where it came into contact with her covered arm.
"Kai, stop-" she started, reaching out to remove it but she wasn't as quick as Alaric who rushed forward with an aggrieved "Hey!" and forcibly separated them.
Kai dropped the trash can to the ground. Bent at the waist and panting heavily, he tried to catch to breathe.
Straightening, with his lips bright red, he said, "Whoa... I feel better."
He was thinking quickly, Skye could tell from the way his eyes roved the floor, while Alaric stood protectively in front of Jo, who sported an affronted expression.
"Kai, whatever you're thinking-" Skye entreated, but she was interrupted by Jo.
"Yeah, because you juice-boxed my magic!"
"Sorry about that - that was an accident, but I - wow, I legitimately feel better."
That calculating gleam entered his eyes as he stared at his sister.
"Kai-" Skye tried once again.
"You need to give me your magic," he announced, heedless of her.
"What?" His sister's question was less a question, more an incredulous exclamation.
Kai reached for a tissue to wipe his mouth. "This full merge is clearly failing." He stood, and Alaric followed his motion, shielding Jo even more from him. But Kai was too excitedly-agitated to notice. Skye stepped in front of him, placing a halting hand on his chest, but he just proceeded, over her shoulder. "Because I was supposed to get your magic, right? So just, - I don't know - I don't know. Just put it in a teddy bear or a bedpan or whatever and gimme." He threw his hand out, past her, and she clenched her eyes shut in aggravation, taking a step back.
Alaric seized his hand, instantly threatening. She heard Kai's knuckles crack. "Listen, I could just as easily break seven little bones in your hands with one good squeeze, okay?"
Kai sized him up, his expression blank. "I can see you're skeptical, Ric," Kai said finally, moving to extract his hand. Ric released him easily. "Can I call you Ric?" Kai then fist bumped him. "Hey, buddy, but here's the thing you need to know. Jo only survives if I do, okay?" Alaric seemed disheartened by this reminder. "And if that's not enough for you, you know the power that binds the Prison Worlds comes from the leader of the Gemini Coven." He sighed dramatically. "If I die, the worlds collapse, alright?"
Skye went cold with realization. Alaric brushed a hand over his face in frustration.
"I see vacancy. Would you like me to start over with single syllables?" Kai carried on cattily.
"Shut up, please," Skye deadpanned.
"See, she gets it," Kai said, pointing to her.
"Did you say Prison Worlds, as in more than one?" Alaric asked finally, seeming like he was unwilling to digest the information.
"Has no one ever mentioned that?" Kai said with only the slyest of expressions on his sweaty, pallid face.
Skye wanted to punch him.
Alaric only shook his head, then grabbed Jo's hand and led her from the room. Jo simply tossed one last look behind as she exited, her expression one Skye found hard to read.
"Looking forward to your decision," Kai called after them.
Skye was quiet in the wake of this - his declaration and his show. She put her back to him and took deep breaths, trying to calm herself and stop herself from starting something she didn't really want to finish.
After she composed herself, she turned around and surveyed him. He was back on the examination table, bracing his arms against the edge, looking relaxed.
She must've been conveying more in her expression than she realized because Kai prompted, "What?" It was defensive, almost raising her hackles.
She sighed, offhandedly. She ran her fingers along the edge of the examination table, striving for unaffected. "Nothing…just- I guess it's nice to see manipulation still comes secondhand - even to the supposedly reformed you."
"Do you want me to die?" he demanded, jaw clenched. A question he always posed to defend himself.
She answered with a mulish silence, not even wanting to dignify the question with a response. He should know by now, was her stray thought, her one weakness in this crooked relationship of theirs. She chose to tell him instead, "I'm just saying there are nicer ways to ask her for her magic. Ones that don't involve the phrase 'gimme.'"
He scrutinized her, his eyes narrowing in a much more mischievous way than when he had been riling up his sister. "So, following that logic…" His arms whipped out, grabbing her around the waist. He pulled her to him and she barely had time to fight back before he had her pinned, trapped against him, his knees squeezing her hips. "If I asked you to be mine again nicely, would you agree?"
Her face now in much closer proximity to his than before, she stared at him, stunned, her hands limply resting on his chest. For several long moments, the only sound heard in the examination room was the sound of the dripping faucet in the corner and the muffled activity outside of the door.
"You're deflecting," she accused finally.
"And you're deflecting by telling me that I'm deflecting," he countered glibly, titling his head in that too-innocent way that had her nervous.
Her head spinning, she shot out,"What are you even asking?"
"Just be my girlfriend again…officially, I guess. I mean, we're so meant to be even our names rhyme. And I think my new buddy Ric ships us."
At her furrowed brow, he explained, "It's an internet thing - when you want two people to be together..." he trailed off when she shook her head in exasperation.
"I thought we never technically broke up?" she questioned, remembering having a very similar discussion in the Prison World not too long ago.
"We were in your eyes, and I wanna respect that," he said, the solemnity in his voice unmistakable.
She gawked at him now, disbelieving. "I've been shacked up in a motel with you for weeks. I made a promise to stay by your side. What more could you possibly want?"
"I want... us," he divulged, his tone thoughtful but confident, its timbre soft, his mercurial eyes dropping down to her mouth then traveling back up, seeming to focus on her face but without really meeting her eyes. "The us we were before. When you used to disguise the weird looks you gave me, when you used to share your thoughts with me. When you used to look at me with something other than...hate or disgust." He smiled ruefully, as his hand drifted up, brushing her hair back from her face, his eyes following his motion.
I want Skye to look at me like she used to.
His words rang in her head.
What he was really asking was if she could treat him like she did before he snapped. Which really meant he was asking her to overlook 18 years of betrayal, abuse, torture, violence, and murder.
"So you want me to commit to another twenty years of whatever you decide to throw my way?" She stilled his hand with her own, forcing him to meet her eyes.
"I wanna atone for you, Skye," he told her, his voice like gravel, his eyes grave. He looked away from her across the room, his tone lightening as he continued, "And if it takes that many years or more to do it, then so be it." He swallowed, his head bowed down like he couldn't believe the words that were actually leaving his mouth.
And the scariest thought was that she was ready to commit some more time to him - she was perhaps not necessarily willing to completely overlook the past, but work through it. Yet the mere thought of doing so sent her stomach churning - with fear, with shame. No one would around understand her decision to stand by him. She didn't even understand the desire she had to, after everything.
Distressed, she let out a shaky exhale. "I wanna believe you," she confessed, which had his head whipping back up but she avoided his gaze. She felt too disturbed by the thought, by the fact she'd unintentionally revealed the truth to him, even as the speech he'd just given reminded her a little too much of the one he'd given Bonnie down in the cave, when he was trying to convince her to play nice and let them go home, right before he drugged them.
When she finally allowed herself to look into his eyes again, she was met with implacability.
In her eyes, vulnerability revealed itself for Kai to see, the vulnerability she was always prone to carefully conceal in his presence. The kind that spoke of her unguarded desires for them, but also showed her fear of him, and it affected him more than any of the small victories she had been granting him recently. It was a big progression, this confession; it required some semblance of trust. He was - elated by it? - whatever it was, it was an almost overwhelming emotion ... so much so that he couldn't put a stop to the grin creeping up on his face. He would make her believe in his sincerity sooner or later.
So her begrudging admission was enough for now, and he told her as much before he leaned forward, his lips seeking hers.
"Whoa," she protested, leaning back. "Do not try to kiss me."
He huffed, "Why not?"
"You just puked up blood not even ten minutes ago," she reminded.
Pursing his lips, he muttered, "Fine. Deny the sick person, that will speed up my recovery."
He pulled her closer, instead, directing her head to his shoulder, threading his fingers through her hair. His other hand rubbed her back soothingly.
Skye laced her arms tight around his middle, while her face found its way to the crook of his neck. She breathed in his scent - part salt and musk from his sick sweat, part soap from his quick shower before they left the motel. The smell didn't bother her, however.
Though, she had to wonder if she was his new fixation...since he had achieved all he had ever wanted in life in becoming the Gemini leader.
He just needed a new obsession, that was all. But she didn't know if she was ready to be the object of it...because surely that wasn't healthy emotional growth, notwithstanding all the atonement she also wasn't sure she was ready to receive.
Those thoughts and others like it floated around in her head as she stood, literally locked in his embrace.
And they stayed in that position until Jo reentered the room, the door slamming behind her.
Skye jumped away from Kai just as he began complaining,"Finally, I was about to use that bedpan for more practical reasons."
But Skye was stricken by Jo's stony expression.
"Sorry, Skye," she said to her before she quickly shouted, "Motus." She waved her hands in two different directions, one aimed at each of them.
Crying out, Skye was swept back away from Kai by an invisible force away while, with a shout, he sailed backwards through the air into the wall behind him. He landed hard on the ground, grunting in pain, a generic painting accompanying his fall.
Jo kept her hand in the air, steady on her brother, as she moved closer to him.
Skye tried to come forward, but found she was trapped in position, her feet resisting her commands to move. She soon discovered that words refused to leave her mouth as well.
And plain fury at her immobilization flooded through her.
Kai's grunts of pain turned louder and more pained, as his hands clutched at his temples and he struggled to sit up.
"I talked to Dad," Jo finally said, pacing in front of her prone brother. "Guess who's not sick. Him. Liv. And I'm feeling pretty good right now too which leads me to believe I'm not gonna die anytime soon so what's your game? Tell me!" she finished empathically.
The urge rose up again in Skye - the urge to defend Kai. But she was saved from it, since she was still rendered mute.
What is wrong with you? She asked herself. His sister deserved her doubt, deserved the chance to make him answer for all that he had done.
"I don't have a game," Kai insisted before he exclaimed, "God!" His hand came up then and instantly sent his sister to her knees, her hands raising to her temples, and her crying out in pain.
Kai fought to catch his breath as he moved to stand, his eyes finding Skye's. His were wild, and she was uneasy. He waved his hand at her, and Skye found that she could move again. She started towards Kai, his name halfway out of her mouth before he halted her.
"I'm okay," he assured her. "You okay?"
She nodded, now speechless, and he turned to address Jo, "As much as my suffering might bring you pleasure or whatever, this is not the way to handle the situation."
Jo's pain seemed to have abated as her hands came down and she glared up at her brother. She rose to her feet.
"Is this all just a ploy for you to get more magic?" she accused.
Kai's answering guffaws were incredulous. "It's a ploy for us all to stay alive, actually. Alright, I'm sorry if that seems selfish."
"I don't believe you," Jo retorted forcefully. "Because you're a liar. And you are the worst kind of liar, because your lies sound so much like the truth it is impossible for me to tell the difference."
Skye could empathize with the claim.
Kai clenched his jaw, a frustrated sigh escaping him. "You're right. I am a liar, alright? I'm the black sheep. You know, the defective twin that nobody wanted." Skye thought she almost could detect some actual pain accompanying the words.
Jo must've sensed the same because of her's was a look of anguish. Right then, Skye knew without a shadow of a doubt that Josette Parker had loved her twin brother once.
Take care of him, a twenty-two year old Jo had once whispered to Skye.
Kai's face was pinched with the same anguish. "It must feel real nice for you to stand here judging me, surrounded by all the things that you got out of life, while I spent eighteen years in isolation as the family reject, only stuck with the one person -" here, he pointed towards Skye, who could only stare at him, her heart pounding, enthralled in his emotion speech "- who ever gave a crap about me suddenly hating me, so..."
He advanced towards Jo, his fist clenched at his sides. "Let me tell you, every inch of me wants to kill you for that - every part," he yelled in her face, causing her to flinch back. "But I can't," he whispered, shaking his head. "Because the only way that I can survive is if you help me."
Jo looked near tears at this point.
"And I'd like to live, frankly," he confessed quietly. "Because I didn't get to do a whole lot of that before everyone decided that I wasn't worth it." Kai turned to Skye again, his eyes bright. "Skye didn't really get a chance either, and I would really, really like to be here to share that chance with her."
Skye swallowed as she held his eyes.
But Jo was only focused on her brother, gazing at him silently for long moments, before she said, "I'll give it to you."
Kai was silent too then, shifting his attention back to Jo, his breathing uneven, the barest hint of a smile lingering on the corners of his mouth.
"But under one condition," she hedged.
Kai's face fell.
"You take it and get out of my life. I never want you anywhere near me ever again," she told him roughly.
"Fine," Kai agreed flatly.
"I'm not finished."
"Shocker."
Her tone just as soft and deadly as past Kai on a bad day, she threatened, "If you break your promise, I'll kill you. I'll take myself and our entire coven down with you because I don't wanna live another minute afraid of my own brother. You got it?"
Kai was slow to respond but he finally replied, his voice devoid of all emotion. "Got it."
Finally, they all headed back to Jo's apartment as the sky darkened.
Kai settled on her couch, spreading out like he felt at home in the place, citing a sudden exhaustion.
Jo went straight to her bedroom, claiming she needed to prepare herself for the spell. Alaric followed closely.
Skye watched them leave then turned around in time to see Kai already asleep - a soft slumber, seeming more at peace than he had the previous night.
She went into Jo's kitchen and searched the cabinets for a glass. Her time in the Prison World had also had somewhat of an effect on her decorum and she had no qualms about helping herself to some water.
She sat at the small dining table there, choosing the chair opposite the doorway, enabling her to still view the lupine figure just beyond it, on the couch, her chair at just the right angle, making it possible to see his smooth face.
After a few minutes, Jo entered the kitchen, her face indifferent, as she made a beeline to the sink. She made herself a glass of water too, but knocked it back more quickly than Skye had.
She knew that Jo had to be nervous, possibly looking for more reasons to follow through with her parting of her magic.
"He's actually been...different since the Merge, you know," Skye started, hesitantly, but grew stronger as she continued, "You might not believe it, but he wrote you an apology letter. I don't know if you received it, Damon and Elena were supposed to have given it to you." If Skye had to guess, she figured it was probably at the top of the Salvatore's trash can. "He also helped come up with a way to bring Bonnie back, actually kinda risked his life to do so."
Jo swung around, her expression severe, matching the bite in her words: "And, tell me, Skye, is that why you stay with him?"
After a tense moment, feeling extremely weary, Skye shrugged blithely. "Why not give him a chance? After all, I'm the only one who ever has…"
Jo eyes pierced straight through her, keener than Skye remembered."That's not why," she deduced evenly.
Skye floundered internally, the apparent truth evading her, as she retorted, "Does it matter?"
Jo's eye widened. "It matters to me, why you let my brother walk all over you. Why you stick to his side, why you stand by as he hurts people...why you let him hurt you…"
"Like I've said, he's been different-"
"No, you were doing this before the Merge. And you might be able to believe he's changed, but I can't. Not with the way he acted today. I'm only giving away my magic so he'll go away peacefully. I can't afford to believe again that he'll walk out of that door without it." Jo asserted, her eyes filling with unshed tears. "Because the last time I believed something like that, there were a lot of casualties."
And right then Skye knew the number one reason Jo had agreed to relinquish her magic to her brother, and it had nothing to do with his speech.
Skye's own vision was blurring. She blinked rapidly, dislodging the liquid, the world in crisp detail once again, just in time to catch Jo's expression soften, coaxing an admission from her.
"I don't know why, okay?" The words were rushed. "I don't...all I know is - he's all I ha-…" she broke off abruptly and took in a shuddering breath, unable to bring herself to say it, everything in her being rebelling against the statement - because it hurt, a persistent ache in her ribcage. Because it was the truth. Jo's sympathetic face didn't waver.
Skye lifted her eyes to his still sleeping form. "Do you remember when I said to you that my choices were limited? It's still true, even after everything, like his change and all the other unexpected things that have cropped up with it."
She spilled more to her captive audience, the dam bursting. "Sometimes, I don't want him anywhere near me, but I still want him to be somewhere existing. Like I want him gone, but I don't really want him dead, no matter how many times I tell him I do. And now, especially now, that he's trying to be something other than what he's always been, I feel like someone should be around to bear witness to it. And even if all of it should backfire on me, I'll still have no one but him to turn to. But that's okay, I think, because it's all I really know, all I really remember... " She was beginning to wonder if her babbling was even making sense to Jo anymore, if it ever was.
Jo sat in the chair across from Skye, her hand seeking out Skye's resting on the tabletop. Jo squeezed it meaningfully as she spoke, "Skye, If you ever need a place to stay…if you ever need to get away, you are welcome here." Her implicit statement didn't pass by Skye - it was a tentative olive branch, but it was only being extended towards her.
Skye offered her a watery smile, which Jo returned. "Thank you," Skye whispered.
Jo nodded, releasing her hand. She breathed in deeply and said, "You can go wake him up, I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
Skye took a moment to compose herself before she stepped into the living room, then walked to the couch and crouched by it.
"Hey. wake up…. I think Jo's ready…." Skye told Kai, patting his shoulder.
He groaned, his eyes sluggishly blinking, before they focused on her.
His brow crinkled as his finger came up, rubbing under her one of her eyes.
She shook her head, and he seemed to drop it, sitting up.
He rubbed at his eyes as Jo approached them.
"Let's do this," she said.
"Me, our coven, and the prison worlds thank you," Kai told her, rising to his feet. Skye stepped aside, choosing to sit on the arm of the couch, out of the way.
"What exactly is this other prison world?" Alaric inquired from behind them, where he leant against the threshold, his arms crossed.
Kai turned towards him, a sardonic look on his face. "A place filled with crappy people like me, I'm sure," he replied before facing his sister again.
"Congrats," he said to her."You're saving their miserable lives from oblivion."
Jo looked less than thrilled about it.
"Oh," Kai admonished, reaching up to pinch her cheeks. "Don't look so stressed."
She pulled away from his touch, rolling her eyes.
"You never liked being a witch anyway."
"Shut up," she said simply, bringing her hands up to clasp his face, and closing her eyes.
Kai shut his just as Jo began chanting, the words Latinate and firm.
Loose papers flew up in the air as the dim light around them altered, becoming brighter.
The papers continued to blow around them, like dead leaves on a windy day.
Both Jo and Kai stood like statues in their positions, the only movement coming from Jo's lips as she continued to chant, then all at once, stopped. The light dimmed, the wind tunnel dropped out.
The siblings opened their eyes, one with a frightened expression, the other's exhilarated.
His mouth dropped open, Kai let out a soft exhalation.
"It's done," Jo announced.
Kai breathed out again, and Skye could tell he was definitely feeling better, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Thank you," he said softly to his sister. "And congratulations."
Jo's brow furrowed. Kai leaned forward and whispered in her ear - something too low for either Alaric or Skye to hear with their human ears.
He pulled back and raised his hands towards her stupefied face, he swept her hair back then held her face as he said, smiling softly, "Have a good life, sissy."
He walked back towards Skye, leaving a very confused and seemingly shell-shocked Jo in his wake.
He stopped to pick up his jacket from the back of the couch. He glanced at Skye as he started toward the door.
"Come on, my baby boo."
With one last look at the frozen couple, Skye trailed after him.
Kai watched as Skye pulled the door shut behind her, closing him off from his favorite sibling. He sighed, as the new magic buzzed under his skin, the magic that screamed of his sister's pure essence, mingling with his.
"Does this mean you're gonna shave now?" Skye asked, as they began their journey back to the car.
He resisted a snort at the random question. "Why," he questioned, smirking lasciviously. "You don't like the look?"
Skye's only answer was to smile coyly, choosing not to give him an answer. But this smirk only grew wider as she sauntered ahead of him and he worked to keep up.
They were in the parking lot when she posed another question to him. "So did you tell her she was pregnant?"
Surprise shot through him, and he paused in his step. Thanks to his newly heightened witch senses, he had been able to sense their presence but barely. And it was only the extended contact between them, his sister's transfer of magic to him, that allowed him to even sense the babies' magical essences. "How did you know?"
She stopped beside him. "Her nausea wasn't like yours - I think they would've been a bit more concerned if she been spewing blood as well. Plus, her face looked puffier than the last time I saw her." Here, she ducked her head, her hand subconsciously drifting to her chest. "Not to mention I recognized the signs. It's easier when you've experienced them for yourself. Multiple times."
Kai found himself staring at the patch of gauze on Skye's shoulder, peeking out from under the collar of her shirt, the edges of which her fingers grazed now.
He had been right: three little elephants. That she hardly, if ever, acknowledged in the last few years.
In fact, he knew she would rather stab him than entertain the subject. She had literally stabbed him when he broached the subject once or twice so he was speaking from experience.
If she had meant what she'd said and was willing to allow him to make up for what he had done, then maybe one day he could drag it, and more, out of her.
He looked forward to it - getting down to the bottom of what made up his girl and all the mysteries of her had never bothered to have been privy to before.
A/N: Hey guys, it's finally here! I could give you about 10,000 excuses, but I won't waste the space here. Just know the story was never far from my mind. Anyway, Kai is back! His return gave me the last bit of inspiration I needed to complete this. And I'm sure most of you were glad to see him too. Review and let me know what you think of this update and what your favorite Kai scene was from this last episode. Mine was probably the end when he siphoned Damon to the point of desiccation! Been wanting to see that for a long time.
Here are the replies, sorry if I skip over someone's comments, I got confused where I left off, with all the sneak peaks and stuff.
Guest 1: Glad you're excited about the Containment fic. I need to get back on it. Glad you like the flashback, even when I switch them up, but they're back now in Europe. Hope you this one didn't upset you too much when it comes to the pregnancy but it was the only thing that made sense. And as you can see her tattoo did get finished, it was three little elephants on her collar bone. I wasn't going to let Kai stop a perfectly good tattoo from being completed.
Guest 2: Thank you!
Nirvana14: Gratuitous tattoos are the best ones.
Vasya: Thank you! I'm glad you liked me trying to expand the witchcraft. It's something I look forward to experiment more with. Kai will actually figure out why she calls him Mal coming up. And your P.S. made me laugh. I plan to give them a somewhat happy ending, after a lot more angst and general shenanigans.
Sweet Summer Sunset: Thank you for still caring enough about the story to write anything at all, even going as far to compliment writing you didn't have the time to read lol. You're fine, I understand life gets busy. Mine was too, that's why it took so long to even update. Anyway, you're lovely. Again thank you.
: Thank you! Hope you like the update and her interaction with Jo. Bonnie comes next chapter.
Cuthie: Thank you! Too bad I couldn't write her into the show myself.
Guest 3/Origami23 : Thanks for checking on me. You're the main reason I posted the flashback for chapter 20. I'm glad I now know a username to which I can refer to you. I only replied to your comment in the sneak peak because you're the only one that asked a question. I'm glad I didn't watch this season until well after Katie's TVD character had died, lol. Sorry but I was not a fan and the sirens seemed like they didn't really go anywhere. And I have been watching Supergirl - I do like Mon El and I like his similarities to Kai. I also like he's canoodling with a blonde in it, because I could manipulate their scenes and have her represent Skye in a fanvideo that I hope to get around to making one day. Anyway, how are you enjoying the new season of the 100? I like it so far. I also enjoy Roan's character this season. I like that he is level-headed and more of an ally to Skaikru (is that how you spell it? I hope).
Khari: Thank you so much! I hope you like this flashback though it's a little heavy and traumatic. One day I hope to return to the lighter content of their early days. I'm so glad for the way you interpreted the tattoo scene, you picked up on everything I was trying to get across, as usual. I hope this chapter answers your question about the significance of the tattoo's design. Thanks for commenting on the sneak peak too and for speaking out about the troll. I really appreciate your intelligence and sense of caring. I did not know I could delete reviews. Could you share with me how?
Guest 4: Thank you!
Guest 5: Thank you! Hope you like!
Guest 6: Thank so much!
NiNa5: Thank you!
Guest 7: Thanks!
..2016: Thank you!
Lena: Wow, thanks so much for all the lovely words! I hope you like the update and get the part about the tattoo.
Kitsuneblackwater: hope you like it!
Aliya: Thank you! I hope you like! Don't worry, I did ignore that person. It was easy to do.
Brown-eyed Paradox: Thanks for such a beautiful analysis of their relationship. Really, I live for reviews like yours. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Hope you like this update and hopefully one day I can post that Containment fic - it will be much different to this and probably a nice change of pace.
Lipstick Survivors: Thank you! Hope you like the update.
Nina: Thank you for taking the time to reach out! I won't give up on the story, it's about the only one I'm determine to finish. Thanks for the sweet words too, I hope you like the update.
Finally to the guest (I hope it was just one person) posting hateful comments: From what little I could glean from your asinine, incoherent nonsense, I guess I pissed you off by not updating enough? Oops sorry I'm not sorry. Sincerely, I hope you gave up on the story because I don't think I want a reader like you.
To all my other readers, you're awesome, even the silent ones. Love you guys.