The Dogfather

Chapter 20

Disclaimer: And then, on the eighth day, God created the rights to Harry Potter and gave them to J.K. Rowling.

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Sirius suddenly felt very small.

His head began to squeeze itself until it had the circumference of a golf ball.

"Who are you?" called a voice.

"Sirius Black." he called back, without deciding to.

The voice continued to ask questions, normal ones, then it questioned about people called 'Lily and James Potter' and 'Peter Pettigrew' he honestly had no idea who they were, yet he answered all the same.

Suddenly, his head released its hold, much like popping one's ears on an airplane. His face was drenched in cold sweat. He looked around; suddenly his current position came rushing back to him.

Sirius looked to Remus; he was sitting up straight, looking at him wide-eyed.

"Aw... I need an aspirin." he moaned, burying his head into his arms.

"What's an aspirin?" inquired Remus, slightly amused. 'He's not a murderer. He's not a murderer' pounded in his mind.

"Muggle medicine." explained Harry quietly, waiting to see if Dumbledore would interrogate him as well, seeing how his godfather so dearly enjoyed the side affects, also enjoying the neutral tone of the atmosphere.

"Here have a lemon drop." offered Dumbledore, his eyes regaining their familiar twinkle.

Harry and Remus snorted, but once Sirius accepted the sweet, he declared full recovery.

"Phoenix tears." supplied Dumbledore with a small smile.

Remus pulled Sirius into a manly hug, and whispered 'Welcome back Padfoot.'

Harry watched the scene with delight, no more hiding, no more lying. He hated making up those stories to Moony, it made him feel as if Remus was the enemy, which of course he wasn't.

"Er... Professor Dumbledore." asked Harry quietly. "What do we do now?"

"Harry, the only people, save many death eaters and Pettigrew himself, who know of Sirius' innocence, are you, Remus, myself and I suspect the Weasely twins-" suddenly, Fred and George came tumbling down the tunnel again. "And sadly, I believe it may stay around that number for quite a long time, until we have some firm proof." he finished gravely.

Harry sighed. He had spoken too soon.

He suddenly felt anger boil up inside him. All Fudge cared about was keeping office. If Sirius was caught, he would most likely get thrown right back to the dementors. People would wipe their foreheads say 'thank god that's over with.' and move on, not giving him a second thought, as long as the magical community saw some progress, Fudge could keep the cozy title of minister.

Heaving another sigh, Harry made his way over to Fred and George; there were quite a few things to be sorted out.

"Er hi Harry!" said Fred, uncomfortably.

"Um, Sorry mate." added George.

"For invading your privacy."

"And such."

"Er yeah, whatever." mumbled Harry tiredly. "So how did you get the Map?"

The twins exchanged looks and went into a terribly long explanation about making a tracking potion that was connected solely to them, so that the map and they were inseparable, if this was against their will and they would always be able to find it if it was not returned.

Harry decided to finally lay the big bomb on them.

"You know the Marauders? Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs?" said, Harry, a grin curving across his face.

"Yeah what about them?" asked Fred slowly.

Harry gave them ten seconds to figure it out, before pronouncing them both officially dense.

"May I present to you." he began using an announcer's voice, gesturing towards his godfather and Remus, the former was being slapped upside the head the head for making fun of the other's position. "The one and only Moony and Padfoot hard at work!"

Fred and George's jaws dropped.

"You're kidding"

"Our idols."

"Our gods"

The two men in question simultaneously raised eyebrows.

Suddenly Sirius took advantage of the situation; he flung himself into a power stance, clutching his heart dramatically. "How dare you mere mortals stare at my beautiful face!" he screeched. Fred and George immediately looked away "How dare you not observe in awe my beautiful face." he added.

Remus, Harry, and Sirius burst out laughing as the twins turned around bewilderedly.

"Mr. Moony would like to comment to Mr. Padfoot that the beauty equivalent of his facial features is that of a garden gnome." said Remus with a small bow.

"Mr. Padfoot would like to inquire to Mr. Moony as to the last time in which he gazed at a mirror, as well as whose bright idea was it to speak in third person."

"Mr. Moony would like to point out that Mr. Padfoot deserves full credit." replied Remus cheekily.

"Mr. Prongs Jr. would like to point out that Messer. Moony and Padfoot are both dunderheads and wonders if the face complexion equivalent to that of a plum is a sign of good health?" cut in Harry, gesturing to the Weaselys who had indeed turned plum red, in delight of course.

Sirius made a low bow toward the brothers, "Mr. Padfoot would like to welcome Messer. Fred and George Weasely to his world."

"Mr. Prongs Jr. would like to recommend leaving all pointy objects and anything related to desert pastries outside of the vehicle and not permit any child able to be mistaken as a stray niffler aboard."

"Mr. Moony would like warn Mr. Padfoot that his actions may anger the sushi gods."

"Mr. Padfoot inquires as to what has become of his aluminum foil beanie."

Fred and George looked like Christmas and the one after, and the one after that had all come early.

Harry gazed contently as his godfather argued with Remus over the importance of stapling orange peals.

'Four down, the rest of the wizarding world to go.' he thought wistfully.

"Why not 'The rest of the wizarding world up, four down?'" inquired a quiet voice beside him.

Harry jumped to see Dumbledore standing next to him.

The Gryffindor shrugged, deciding that what he had at the moment would do just fine.

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A/N: Ah, there some Dumbledore logic for ya... yea, not too impressive... I can't believe I've broke three hundred... It's a dweem come twue! I also can't believe how many new reviewers I got for last chapter... as soon as I get to the confrontations... I'm also surprised to see how many people liked the 'cottage cheese stuffed bludger' line. Well, how's that for a piece of fluff? Yep... not much contribution to the plot, but it was fun to type. Er, yeah, my version of veritaserum varies quite a bit...

Thanks for the reviews people!

RainynDawn: I reviewed ch. 19 of A tale of two werewolves by sennica01 , there is at least a paragraph in it about why I'm afraid of mimes and clowns. Just thought it'd be enlightening to read... if you survive that mime of course...: shivers:. I am glad at least someone else sees past the cheap make-up and plastic nose.