I'm in a shitty mood, so it suited well with my character and the plot, so… no flames, and plz don't forget to leave me your thoughts!

Hope you guys'll like it, and I'll hopefully meet u again as I'll regain my happiness :)

Chapter 20

Every teenager, whether it's a boy or a girl, wants to know what love is. They wants someone to love them senselessly, they want to love till no end. They want a passionate relationship or a sweet, sweet romance. They want to be crazy in love. They want the sweet, awesome feelings – they want it all.

Those guys are a bunch of kids on crack or something, 'cause let me tell ya something – love hurts. It hurts like a bitch, and even more than that because it's a pain you can't let go of, and you don't know when it will fade away.

I once wanted romance, with all of my heart and soul. I really wanted someone to love and that he'd love me back.

I think that because all of these useless thoughts my mind had created this dream for me. A dream that at first looks like it's the perfect world for me… but if you'd take a close look, you'll know in a heartbeat that this is my living hell.

I'm in love with someone who's my mind's creation. Someone I can only touch within my mind's boundaries.

Someone that isn't really there.

And I let myself fall for him, hard and strong.

I tried to push him away – I really tried… but my walls collapsed as his true smile collided with each and every wall inside me and won each and every fight.

I ate some chicken – the only thing in this party I could eat without vomiting after – as I watched my co-workers dance before me.

"it's really a shame you're not dancing, M'Lady." A voice I did not know said with clear allure. I looked up and saw a man that was in his late 20s with moka skin and green eyes. He had curly brown hair and was 180 cm, I think.

Whatever.

"I haven't seen you before," I said quietly. I wanted my Galaxy, a pair of earpieces and all of my favorite nightcores on full volume.

"that's because I'm here on a business trip. I'm from the US." He thought that that would impress me or something, I think, because he was waiting for a reaction.

I put some more chicken in my mouth and chewed on it. I wasn't a veggie, that's for sure, and I wasn't in the mood for a small talk either.

"you're on business here, too?" he was trying to have a civil conversation with a broken hearted girl.

Not very smart, buddy.

"Nop." I said in English as I mentioned to a waiter and he got me a glass of Champaign.

"finally, a cute reaction." He smiled at me. He had fluent English with a great accent. My accent was just plain weird – it was somehow half British half American.

"Mister, I just got my heart broken," I gave him my angriest look. "and so, I suggest you to flirt with someone else, cause I'm about to break something, and you look like a nice guy, so I don't want your bones to be in danger."

He looked at me for a second before he threw his head back and laughed loudly. A lot of people looked at us, so I just took another bit of my chicken.

"I'm Mark Velcci." I almost choked on my food.

Yokozawa san had a meeting with this guy tomorrow afternoon.

"so you've heard about me?" he asked cockily.

"Yokozawa san has a meeting with you tomorrow. big stuff. You're the CEO of a big book-publishing company in quite a few states in the US. So yeah, I know you." I stated bluntly.

"sweet. Although I wish I could meet with you as well…"

"you're too sly, big guy. Even if you were the president of the USA himself – I'm not falling for that." I said as I caught Mino san talking with a bunch of pretty, petite women.

He was fucking damn gorgeous.

"No – you fell for someone else," he murmured at my ear.

I stiffened and he stepped away. "Let me introduce you to Yokozawa san." I said as I stepped away from him – but Mark grabbed my hand firmly and didn't let me go.

"I'm more – "

I didn't caught the end of his sentence, because a few things happened then all at once; shouji san pointed at Mino san, which took a lovely girl by her hand, put his palm on her tiny waist and started to dance with her; and Kisa san ran out of the door like the wind.

It was the obvious choice.

"Let me go, please." As soon as he loosed his grip I yanked my hand away and walked as fast as I could out of there.

"Kisa san!" I called for him – and then I saw him running to the door and outside of the hotel.

Fuck this shit – I yanked my shoes off of my feet and ran barefoot to Kisa san. "what had happened?!" I asked him as he was desperately trying to catch a cab.

"Shira chan…" he looked like he was about to cry.

"hey.. what happened? Is something – "

His eyes sparkled with tears in them. "Problems with my family. I guess I'll go to my home town tomorrow."

I felt a pang in my chest.

I wanted to go home, too.

"I hope everything will be all right – if anything happens or you'll just need someone for whatever, call me." I gave him a supporting smile as two cabs stopped. Kisa san entered the first one, and I entered the second one just as I saw Mark coming out.

"don't you need to say goodbye to your superiors?" man, I hated his accent. Too perfect.

"nah – they all know very well that I'm a brat." I winked at him and told the driver to go out of there.

OO00OO00OO

"your coat," Usagi san tossed it on me as he plopped on my coach. I was watching Akame Ga Kill while eating from a bucket of Ben&Jerry's chocolate ice cream – I bought it on my way home.

And it was heavenly!

"thanks," I said as some bad guy's head was cut off by Akame. "want some? It's good." I had two more buckets of ice cream ready-to-be-eaten in the fridge.

"What had happened, Shira chan?" Misaki asked as he sat next to me.

"I got dumped and I'm in PMS. Please take him away before he loses an arm," I said in English to Usagi san.

"what did you say?" Misaki asked with no idea what I had said.

"Still bad at English, uh? You need to learn." I reprimanded him.

"I doubt you'll do something to him," Usagi san answered nonchalantly in English.

I just scooped more ice cream on my spoon and stuffed my mouth with it. I was in ice-cream-land and it tested so good.

"Misaki, it's heaven – take some." I stuck the spoon in his mouth.

"it is tasty." He said happily as he swallowed it. I was about to take another bite as usage san snatched the spoon from me, licked it from all sides and gave it back to me.

"Eww! Give me another one." I almost threw the spoon on him.

"was it Ero, Misaki?" Misaki turned red.

Ohhhhhhh! Un-directed-kiss.

Awesome.

"you are totally right – " they both looked at me, puzzled. "I need some yaoi – not killing." Misaki turned bit red as Usagi san chuckled.

"Haru wo daite… or Kirepapa?" I asked Usagi san.

"I haven't watched them." He said.

"I'm shocked – let's correct this wrong doing right now!" I said as I put Kirepapa on. "we'll have a Yaoi marathon!" I clapped my hands happily.

"what the – " Misaki looked like he wanted to bury himself alive somewhere.

"you'll enjoy it – you can have my room for the night. I won't use it – hell, maybe I'll go somewhere, so you could have sex all you want."

"Shira chan?!" I chuckled at Misaki's response.

I got up and in five long strokes I was in the kitchen and took a clean spoon. "I'm drunk?" I shrugged with my cutest face.

"you're not red," he pouted.

"not like you." I winked at him as I scrapped a huge piece of ice cream and stuffed it in my mouth. "I co." I said with my mouth full. What I meant to say was 'it's cold', but, whatever.

My phone rang and I saw Yokozawa san's picture on my phone.

"why did you leave?" he was furious.

"who the fuck did I have to meet?" I asked as I crashed on my floor and pressed play to watch Kirepapa. Hm, maybe next will be hey class prez…

"something happened?" he sounded cautious.

"something." I said. "I'm watching a movie. Something important?"

"yes." I heard Kirishia san's voice. "we're coming."

"you're going alone – I have a meeting tomorrow after noon, and it's already 3 am!" Yokozawa san argued with his lover.

"it's late." I agreed with Yokozawa san.

"we'll – " and the line was cut off.

"happy new year, I guess." I mumbled as I turned around and saw no one. "having hot and steamy sex yet?!" I called out.

"yes!" Usagi san answered, and I heard Misaki san screaming something.

"good!" I yelled back as I put a blanket on myself, got on the sofa and watched a great Yaoi ovas, one after the other.

Ding dong.

"it's open!" I yelled groggily. It was 5am, and I was beat. The door opened and someone came – it was one man, and it wasn't Yokozawa san nor Kirishima san.

I know these footsteps... shit.

"how do you know where I live?" I asked as the hottest scene in Level C was on the screen.

"why did you ran away?" he asked.

"Kisa san had a problem." I said listlessly.

He walked around the couch and blocked the TV screen. "I'm watching a great show – move it," I said dryly.

"look at me."

Like hell.

"like hell."

He grabbed my wrist, and in one swift motion he was on top of me, holding my wrists with just one, huge hand. His legs trapped me, and his face was above mine, in a kiss distance.

"let me go." I gave him my murderer look.

He didn't budge – his eyes were visible and blue and dead serious. It was like the water froze over or something – they were ice cold and uncompromising.

"no. not until you - you know what? Never mind." And with that, he crushed his lips on mine

If only he had knew this was only my second kiss with him… and ever.

But... why can't I remember what had happened in here? Only the pain is clear to –

Don't you remember? The voice whispered within my head as something wet crept into my mouth. You will never go back.

And then the craziest, most bizarre image popped in my mind.

….

What the…?!

I choked as I tried to regain my breath. I opened my eyes and saw the animated world – I'm safe here… I'm safe…

But… what does it even mean? How come I am still alive?

"-chan! Shira can, what…?" Mno san was distressed. He held my arms tightly as I regained my breath and finaly stopped choking.

OOO00OO00OO

Plz give me Ur thoughts!