#19)
Requested by: Felixia
Characters: All seven.
Situation: A hairdresser/barber (a woman) comments on all of her customers, talks about their confessions, and bitches about some of them.
Pairings: No Pairings.
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A/N: I did this in first person because, well, it makes my life less complicated. :sweatdrop: Yeah, so, I hope you like it.
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Having my job is not the easiest thing in the world. You have to understand, I spend my time cutting people's hair, this is true, but nobody considers the emotional trauma I go through with some of my customers.
I'm serious! You might be sitting there, laughing or rolling your eyes, but being a haidresser is not the easiest thing in the world. Not only do you have to sometimes touch gross, filthy, disgusting hair, but you have to listen to the customers bitch and complain!
Let's take the Kyuubi-vessel, for instance. Uzumaki Naruto. Now, I'm not one of those people who particularly cares that he has the Nine-tailed demon fox in him. It's not his fault, he was just a kid, whatever. Not that big of a deal to me. But shit! That kid, from the moment he comes in, to the moment he leave—he never stops talking!
The whole time, it's just yak, yak, yak, yak, yak. It gets to the point where I want to rip my hair out! He's a great kid, and really funny, but the incessant, non-stop talking gets on your nerves! And it's always the same thing! About how he's better than his teammate, labelled "Sasuke-teme." How he's going to be Hokage, and nobody will ever look down on him again.
The first time I heard him say it, I thought it was cute. The second time, it was a little repetitive, but you know, bearable. The fiftieth time, I was ready to cut my ears off with my own scissors. I've lost count now how many times I've heard the speech, but I know I can probably recite it by heart. No joke.
And then, there's the less talkative customers, like one Uchiha Sasuke, sole survivor of the Uchiha Clan Massacre. He walks in, says he wants a haircut, and sits down with his arms crossed. Even if I smile and ask how he is, or even tell him to follow me straight away, he still sits down, saying nothing, and crosses his arms. I always have to calm myself down before I talk to him, otherwise, I'll snap.
And his attitude isn't even the worst part, oh no! It's his hair. You know how there's those people—you know, those people. The ones who use so much hair-gel and hair-spray, it's a wonder the ozone layer hasn't upped and died on us? Well—he's worse than them. He must use two entire gel containers to get his hair the way he wants it. I spend about twenty minutes shampooing his hair to get rid of the bloody stuff, and even then, it's still there! It's disgusting to touch!
Sometimes, I swear, he doesn't wash his hair. I mean, how can he? He wouldn't have the patience to wash it every day! I think he just showers, lets the water soak his hair, but doesn't really wash it, and then exits the shower. Once he's dry, he grabs his hair-gel, and adds more of the disgusting stuff to his hair! That's why it takes me forever to get the damn shit out of his hair when he comes to see me! Maybe he just likes to make me suffer!
But worse than the Uchiha is Hyuuga Neji, one of the most highly respected clans in Konoha. He's a little bit more polite than the Uchiha. He comes to the counter, asking me if I'm available to cut his hair. Upon receiving a positive reply, he nods and sits to wait, or follows me straight away when I motion him forward.
Now the thing that bothers me most about Hyuuga Neji: he sheds. I don't know about you, but shedding is gross. It's okay if I get hair all over my hands while I'm cutting it, because I know how much I'm cutting and where I'm going to get it. With him—you run your fingers through his hair while you're washing it, and come back with a huge clump of hair. It's like The Grudge gone wrong. It's disgusting.
And, to top it off, if the shedding wasn't bad, then the fucking tangles are! He sits down in the chair with his damp, freshly washed hair. Then—I pull out my brush, and snarl. I attack his hair viciously, but nothing seems to get rid of the tangles. It's like, every time I undo one tangle, three more pop up to rebel against me! I can't win with him!
I usually just give up and end up cutting his hair, tangles and all. I try to make it as even as possible, but a girl can only do so much. Honestly. Seriously.
And then, there's that creepy foreigner. The one called Sabaku no Gaara. The weirdo with the love tattoo on his forehead. He's just scary.
He's friends with annoyance number one, Uzumaki, and he recommended me. I almost wet myself the first time he came in. "Cut my hair. Do it right, or I'll kill you." I mean, who says that?.! It's just hair! If I screw up, it's okay, it'll grow back! My life, on the other hand, is a one-time thing! That doesn't just grow back!
So, shaking and almost in tears, I cut the guy's hair. He liked it, I thanked the high holy heavens that I was going to live to see another day—and then he told me he'd be back once a month. I almost quit on the spot. Every month, it's the same thing. "Cut my hair. Do it right, or I'll kill you." So, every month, there I am, shaking and close to tears, cutting the psycho's hair. I don't get paid enough for this job! And the bastard doesn't even tip!
But I think one of my worst customers has to be from the Inuzuka Clan. Inuzuka Kiba. The Inuzuka's frequent my shop, they're all nice shinobi, very kind. And they're all clean. All except that one.
He'll come in fresh from some mission and just plop down in a chair, asking for a haircut! Right out of a mission! He can be bloody, sweaty, dirty, covered in mud, and he dares to sit on one of my chairs like that! His hair is full of dirt, dried blood, tangles and twigs. I stare at his hair, and don't know where to start. So, I usually try and pick out the twigs, then I wash his hair, then I brush it, and then I finally cut it. He usually takes almost an hour, and I almost always want to turn him away. But, I can't. Because his mother is so awesome, and she tips me so well. Then again, this Kiba also tips me very well, which is probably the only reason I put up with him.
I think he feels bad for being so messy when he comes to see me, but honestly, I don't think I've ever really seen him clean. Maybe his mother doesn't believe he needs to bathe?
Oh, and don't even get me started on that damn Nara Shikamaru. That boy is so—and I quote!—troublesome! Every sentence he says has to have that word! It's like, "mendokuse" this and "mendokuse" that! You just want to grab him by the troat, shake him, and forget to let go until he falls to the ground dead!
And, he doesn't let me take out his ponytail when I cut his hair! I'll never forget my reaction the first time I heard that. I thought I'd gone insane and was hearing voices. But no, he repeated it. He didn't want me to take out his ponytail because putting his hair back up would be too troublesome. So, every time he comes, I wash his hair with the ponytail, mutter and curse as I cut his hair with the ponytail, and then blow-dry his hair with the ponytail. I always offer to put it back up for him, but he says I wouldn't do it right. I want to strangle him.
Another annoyance is this Rock Lee character. First off, he waltzes in. He doesn't walk, or stomp, or bounce, or anything else that's at least semi normal. He waltzes. Full on dancing into the shop, before stopping in front of me, one hand on his hip, the other giving me a thumbs up. He winks, smiles, and says something I still don't understand. Actually, I don't ever really understand anything he says. I just know he wants a haircut, because otherwise, he wouldn't have entered my shop, right?
He just sits down in my chair, blabbering something or other about youth, spring and beauty. Personally, I don't know how he became a shinobi with that kind of talk. Don't shinobi, like—kill, or something? He's too—happy. And bubbly. I don't know, he freaks me out. I want to cry sometimes he freaks me out so bad. I just—I don't understand him!
On the other hand, there are some people I rather enjoy—like Hatake Kakashi. Ever wonder why his hair looks the way it does? Well, how can I pay attention to what I'm cutting if I'm reading his book over his shoulder?.!
END.